More Than A Bully: North Woods University Books 1-3

by J. L. Beck

  “Was it good?” I gulp.

  He came yeah, but was it enjoyable? Maybe that's what I should have asked?

  “Jules, it was amazing, good isn’t even close to the word I would use to describe what that was. I’ve never even…. It was hot as fuck, incredible.”

  I’m stupid proud myself, I get up and go to the bathroom to wash my hands and Remmy follows close behind, cleaning himself up.

  When he is done, we get back into bed and he pulls me into his side so I’m lying half on top of him. My body relaxes into his and it doesn't take me long before I feel like drifting off to sleep. I want this to be real, I want to trust him, to go back to the way it used to be between us, but I don't know if I’m ready for that yet.

  15

  Remington

  Yawning, I open my eyes, wondering if last night was a dream. Then I look down and see Jules is still in bed with me, her body molded into my side. My arm is stiff from holding onto her all night, but I don't care. I just didn't want to wake up without her.

  I watch her sleep for a few minutes, my eyes lingering on her soft lips, adorable little nose, and tight body. She let me touch her last night, let me bring her pleasure. It was incredible, and soul-searing even if it was only fingering. As the thoughts linger, my cock hardens… fuck no. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand to distract myself, I realize we’ve overslept.

  Fuck, it’s ten, English class is in an hour.

  Nothing could get me out of this bed for one of my classes right now, but this is the one and only class I share with Jules and I know her well enough to know that she will be freaking out if we miss a class.

  “Jules,” I whisper while giving her a gentle shake.

  “Mmhhh.” She cuddles deeper into my side, and I seriously consider calling Seb and asking him to somehow have English class canceled. Staying here in bed with her would be worth it but knowing how upset she would be to miss class has me deciding against it.

  “Jules, it’s ten in the morning,” I whisper and that seems to get her attention because her eyes fly open and she sits up, rubbing them furiously with her hands.

  “What?! Ten? It’s ten?” She blinks a couple of times, giving me a disbelieving look. “We have class in an hour!”

  There’s a permanent grin on my face. She hops off the bed and starts running around the room like a chicken with her head cut off while I remain sitting on the bed, enjoying the view.

  “Get up, you need to drop me off at my place. I still have to get my bag, and clothes, and brush my teeth.” She’s almost yelling at me, all while tugging on the corner of the blanket. A feeble attempt to get me out of bed, but one that works.

  “Okay, okay, I’m up,” I mumble, shoving from the bed. I pull on a pair of jeans a t-shirt and grab my phone and keys. When we get in the car and I pull out onto the road, I notice Jules nervously playing with the hem of her shirt and I can’t be one hundred percent sure but I don’t think that it’s her worrying about being late for class.

  “You okay?” I ask but she averts her gaze out the window and I wish she would let me see her face so I could figure out what’s going on inside her head.

  “I don’t know,” she finally whispers and an ache forms deep in my belly, the feeling similar to being punched in the stomach. She seemed so happy last night, so sure. I should have known that she’d come to her senses in the morning.

  We were just pretending…

  “Are we okay? I mean, I know what you said last night, but did you really mean it?”

  My knuckles turn white against the steering wheel. “Yes, of course, I meant everything I said last night. I’m a man of my word, Jules.”

  “You said we can’t be friends. But…I don't know if I can be more right now. I want to…but I want to be with the guy you were last night, the Remmy I know…but there is this other side of you, and now that I’ve seen it. While I don’t think I can forget that part of you exists. I don’t know if I can trust you to not turn into that person again?”

  She doesn’t trust me and of course she is right not to, God knows I’ve broken her trust in ways I’m not ready to tell her.

  “So where does that leave us?” she asks before I can muster up a response to her previous question. Sucking in a deep breath, I let her sweet vanilla scent waft into my nose while I think of what to say to her.

  Where does that leave us?

  I feel like my brain has just been run through a blender. What can I say or do to make her understand how serious I am about fixing this?

  I wish I could guarantee that the person she’s seen the last few weeks won't reappear ever again, but how could I possibly promise that? It’s not like I can flip a switch and turn that part of me off. I’ve lived this way for three years and as much as I want everything to just go back to the way it was…the way we were, I know it’s an unrealistic thought.

  Still, I’m not going to give up on her, on us. We’ve both changed, but that doesn’t mean the feelings between us have, last night being evidence of that.

  By the time I park in front of her place, I still haven't come up with anything to say.

  “I’ll see you at class, okay?” There’s a dismal look in her eyes as she opens the passenger side door and gets out. I want to give her all the answers she seeks, but I just… I can’t.

  I don’t know what to do yet.

  “Jules…wait, can we talk after class?”

  She pokes her head back into the car for a moment. “Sure,” she tells me with a little smile on her lips, before closing the car door and jogging up to her front door. I watch her ass sway in her tight jeans as she walks away from me.

  Friends?

  I don’t know if I can be just her friend and hold on to my sanity.

  I want her…all of her.

  Making a pit stop at the frat house to get my own books for class, I climb up the stairs, grab my shit and walk out, I’m nearing the door when Thomas stops me in the kitchen.

  “Hey Rem, have you seen Cole?” Just hearing his name makes me murderous.

  “No, man, no clue what’s going on with him.” I try to keep my voice even. Hiding the anger within me. I’ve got a pretty good idea where he is and I definitely know why he hasn’t shown his face around here, but I don't want to share that information for a plethora of reasons.

  “I’ve got to get to class, catch up with you later?”

  Thomas gives me a nod, and I rush out before he can ask me any other questions that I don’t want to answer. I start my walk across campus and to English class. When I pass the coffee shop on the corner, I check my phone for the time and decide it’d be worth arriving late to class for. I order my usual and before I even realize what I’m doing, I’m ordering something for Jules too. When I walk into the classroom, most of the other students are already in their seats, even though class hasn’t started yet.

  Overachievers.

  Walking to the back of the class where Jules is already writing who knows what in her notebook. She’s still a total nerd and if I had to guess I’d say she has her schoolwork color-coded and alphabetized. My eyes roam over the rest of the room and right behind her sits Layla, smiling seductively while batting her eyelashes at me. Her gaze drops to the two coffee cups in my hand, her smile widening.

  She probably thinks one of them is for her. Tough shit, like I would buy her coffee. Walking over to Jules’ row, I stop at the seat beside her. There’s a guy sitting next to her, a guy I don’t know, nor do I care to know.

  “Hey, find somewhere else to sit,” I order him.

  He looks up at me in shock, ready to complain or maybe even tell me off, but after a few seconds he just gets up, mumbling something under his breath.

  That’s what I thought.

  Plopping down into the seat next to her, I look over to find her staring at me. Her nose snarled upward in distaste. Cute. Cute as fuck.

  “What are you doing? You can’t just make people move, Remmy.”

  “Looks like I just did.” I ch
uckle.

  Jules stares at me expressionless and I decide to change the subject.

  “I brought you a drink.” I grin, holding the hot paper cup out to her. She glances at the cup and then back up to my face.

  “I don’t like coffee,” she announces like I don’t already know that.

  “I know.” I roll my eyes at her. As if I didn’t know that she hates coffee. Best friends since we were five and she thinks I could just forget the simplest things about her.

  “It’s hot chocolate.”

  “Oh, well… thank you.” She beams, taking the cup from my hand, bringing it to her lips. She takes a small sip, and a cheesy smile starts to form on her lips, her eyes twinkling with joy.

  A moment later she says, “You had them add cinnamon…I can’t believe you remember that.”

  This girl. I swear.

  “You think I would ever forget ten-year-old you stomping your foot and yelling at your mom for not putting cinnamon in your hot chocolate?”

  “I think you just remember that everyone was laughing because I was pronouncing it cimmanin.”

  “That too, but it wasn’t like I was trying to make fun of you,” I lie, because I totally was trying to make fun of her.

  She gives me a disbelieving look, “You’re still bad at lying, Remmy.”

  “Is that so?” I lift a brow, enjoying the light banter between us. This I miss. The conversations, the memories, always having that someone to lean on when you need them most.

  “Rem,” Layla calls behind us, and just like that, the perfect balloon sheltering us from the rest of the world pops. The smile on Jules’ face falls, and she turns so she’s facing forward and away from me.

  Fuck you, Layla. For once in my damn life, I wish I wasn’t such a fucking manwhore. I know Jules is uncomfortable sitting beside me with Layla behind us, probably because she knows we’ve fucked, and she’s more than likely comparing herself to her when there is no comparing her to anyone.

  Jules is Jules. Layla’s just another chick I used to try and rid the memory of the one and only person I ever loved.

  “Layla,” I greet her coldly.

  “Why don’t you come sit beside me?” she whines.

  “I’m talking to Jules.”

  “Whatever…” she huffs, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder. Thankfully she doesn’t say anything else to me. Class seems to drone on for what seems like hours. Jules remains facing forward, not even looking at me once.

  Gritting my teeth in frustration, I try to figure out how to make this easier for her. I’ve fucked a lot of girls, and the last thing I want is to upset her, but I can’t change the things I’ve done in my past. I was hurting and using my body to get over that pain was the easiest thing I could do.

  When the professor finally excuses us, all I want to do is drag Jules somewhere where we can be alone and talk. I feel jittery, my knee bouncing up and down before I jump up from my seat. I wait patiently while Jules gathers her stuff. I’m about to ask her to come home with me when Layla positions herself in front of us with her hands on her hips.

  Saying a silent prayer, I hope like hell she keeps her fucking mouth shut…but of course, as soon as I think it, her mouth opens.

  “I see you found yourself a new lay for this week, Rem.” Her tone tells me she’s jealous, and if she was a guy, I would slug her right in the fucking face, but she’s not, so I just stand there watching the train wreck in slow motion. When she turns cattiness on Jules, I almost lose it. My fists clenched so tightly I might pull a muscle.

  “Layla…” I warn, but she ignores me, her eyes bleeding into Jules. What the fuck was I thinking letting this bitch touch me?

  “Don’t get too attached, he’ll come back to me when he needs his dick sucked good, you don't look like the kind who knows what he likes.” Layla slaps her glossy lips together.

  Before I even realize it, Jules is pushing past Layla. Reaching for her, I try and grab onto her arm to stop her, but like always, she slips through my fingers.

  “You fucking bitch,” I spit in Layla’s face. “If you know what’s good for you, you won’t talk to her again. Unlike you, she’s a permanent fixture in my life.” I don’t waste any more words on Layla and instead, take off running after Jules.

  Jogging out the door, my heart thumps loudly in my chest. The thought of losing Jules because of someone like Layla takes root in my mind. I can’t lose her, not when I just got her back. I spot her up ahead, her booted feet pounding against the pavement angrily.

  “Jules,” I call out to her, running a little faster to catch up.

  “No...don’t…” I can see her shaking her head, but I don’t care if she doesn’t want to see me or talk to me. I belong to her...and she belongs to me, we don’t have to admit it to each other, but we both know it’s true. Once close enough, I reach out and grab onto her shoulder, turning her around, and pulling her into my chest so she can’t escape me. My chest heaves, my lungs burning from chasing her, and the simmering of my building temper over Layla’s remarks.

  “Just go back to her…go let her suck your…” She trails off and I smile, almost chuckle because she can’t even say it.

  “She’s nothing, Jules, nothing.” She struggles in my arms. “And I’m not letting you go just so you can walk away from me thinking something ridiculous.”

  “I can’t do this, Rem. You’ve been with a lot of women, and most of them are here at this school. I’ve never even kissed anyone besides you.” She’s scared. Afraid. The sadness in her voice makes me wish I had the strength to punch myself in the junk. Why did I think with nothing more than my dick for so long?

  “Look, I didn’t know you would come back to me. Had I known, I’d still be a virgin too, and you would be my first. I know I can’t take back the things I’ve done, but I won’t skip out on you. I don’t want anyone but you, you’re all that I want. Your inexperience doesn’t mean shit to me. In fact, it makes me want you more.”

  Her hands grip onto my t-shirt, pulling me closer instead of pushing me away.

  “You don’t mean that…” She’s mumbling and I won’t have it. I won’t let her think that she’s less than any of the girls here not when the truth is the opposite. She is so much more. Tipping her chin up, I force her to look at me.

  “I only want you, Jules. Only you. I don’t want Layla or any other person in the entire fucking world. I. Want. You.”

  Tears swim in her gaze, and she nods her head as if she accepts what I’m saying, but I’m not stupid. It won’t be that easy for her to move on from this. I’ve got a reputation and there is bound to be more issues like the one that occurred with Layla today.

  “I’ve got to go,” she whispers, trying to pull away.

  “Come home with me,” I beg with my eyes.

  “No. You can’t be just friends, and I can’t be in a relationship with you, so until we figure out what we are, we should probably keep some distance between us.” Her response isn’t what I want to hear, but I understand. Releasing her even though it kills me, I take a step backward.

  “Whatever you want, Jules. I’ll give you whatever you want, but you can’t leave me. I won’t make it through losing you again.”

  Dropping her arms down to her sides, she looks up at me one last time. “I’ll see you later, Remmy.” And then she turns and walks away, leaving me standing there with my heart in my hands, wondering how I’m going to make the only person that I ever really loved trust me again.

  16

  Jules

  “Whatever you want, Jules. I’ll give you whatever you want, but you can’t leave me. I won’t make it through losing you again.” Remington’s words haunt me, whispering in my ear, making me feel a rush of feelings I never thought I would feel toward him again. I won’t hurt him again, but I also won’t allow myself to get swept up in all the emotions I’m feeling.

  Remington still hurt me, he still said horrible things, and though he apologized, and I understand why he did and said the t
hings he did...I can’t just shut off those feelings. I can’t just act like he wasn’t a complete asshole to me.

  Forgiving is easy, forgetting is something I can’t do. I think about this all day, how Layla talked to me after class, how Remington’s reputation will always be what it is. How people will always look at me when they see me with him.

  How can we be whole again?

  Last night was amazing, waking up in his arms, even more amazing, but losing myself inside him, that’s a fear only I can truly feel. I walk to my last class of the day, secretly wanting to skip it but knowing I shouldn’t. As soon as I enter the room, I realize that this is the same class I share with Cole.

  Fuck. My gaze sweeps around the room for him. He’s nowhere in sight, but that doesn’t mean he won’t show up soon, class doesn’t start for another five minutes.

  A shiver of fear makes its way up my spine as I force myself to take my usual seat. Maybe he won’t show up? I was so caught up in my own thoughts, in my thoughts about Remmy, that I failed to remember my one class with Cole. Remmy said that Cole doesn’t live at the frat house anymore, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop coming to classes.

  There’s a sticky sick feeling that coats my insides as I watch the door like a hawk. I’m waiting for the moment he shows his face so that I can bolt. I don’t want to be in the same room with him ever again. When the professor comes in and starts class, the dreadful feeling in my gut lessens. Maybe he just left school altogether. The more we get into the class, the calmer I start to feel and the more convinced I become that he's not coming back.

  After class, I gather my stuff and head outside. I should call Cally and ask her to grab some dinner with me. It’s been awhile since we talked and I want to catch up. I’m completely lost in thought as I walk outside and down the small path behind the building.