Pretty Much Invincible

by Carey, Stephen

  Shane took a few steps back, worried Sally would strike him. “You don’t know what it’s like. I was on my own, with a young girl...”

  “Shut the fuck up!” Sally screamed as she pushed Shane to the ground.

  “Watch your language, Sally!” a woman said.

  Shane sat up suddenly—that voice! “Maria?” There she was, his wife, as beautiful as ever.

  Maria approached, a look of disapproval on her face. “The apocalypse is no excuse for bad language, young lady.”

  “Mommy!” Sally’s eyes lit up.

  “You’re alive!” Shane said to Maria. “Y-You’re alive!”

  “Alive is a bit of an exaggeration,” Maria said as she put a match to her cigarette—even though she didn’t smoke. Or maybe she did.

  “Do you smoke, Maria?”

  “Shut your mouth, Shane.” She put the cigarette to her lips. “So... do you want to explain to me why my daughter was shot to death on the fucking street.” She came closer to her husband and blew smoke into his face. “Speak.”

  Shane coughed and then waved the smoke away. “They... wouldn’t accept us.”

  “They could probably tell straight away that you are an asshole. They probably didn’t want an asshole like you around them. You should have just moved on.”

  “I couldn’t.”

  “You fucking should have!” Her eyes were furious.

  “I couldn’t back down...” Shane began to sob. “I couldn’t.”

  “Quit your fucking crying!”

  Shane wiped his tears away and said, “Maria... please watch your language.”

  Her arm shot out—she grabbed him by the neck and squeezed tightly. “Don’t you tell me what to do, you son of a bitch!”

  She held up her cigarette and began to slowly move it toward his face. Shane grabbed her arm with both hands, but she was far too strong. Closer and closer the cigarette came to his face.

  “M-Maria... d-don’t!” He struggled to get the words out.

  “You were never a real man!” She pressed the cigarette against his cheek and Shane let out a scream. Maria threw her useless husband to the ground. “Pathetic!”

  Lying on his back, Shane stared up at the black sky. “We’re all doomed.”

  “My little girl was special. She was unique. In a world full of darkness, she was a light.” Her heart was full of sorrow. “Now... that light is gone. There is no hope.”

  Sally dashed over to Maria and wrapped her arms around her. Shane’s eyes were fixed on his daughter and wife. A warm embrace. It was a beautiful sight, but it soon began to turn into something ugly. A dark mist formed around Sally and Maria—before long, they were covered in darkness. Shane stared, perplexed. When the dark mist faded, there was no wife and daughter, only a large, hairy beast. It was like a werewolf from a horror movie. The dark beast licked its lips—it was hungry.

  Shane slowly got to his feet and stared, with a defeated posture, at the beast. “Just take me now. Do it. End it.”

  Images of Sally and Maria flashed before Shane’s eyes as the beast began to tear him apart.

  CHAPTER 20

  Pretty much. Not quite. Not strong enough to win this fight.

  Daddy, Daddy, look what I can do! Don’t be upset because I’m better than you. I’m fast, bulletproof, and barely feel pain—you’re scared and weak and probably insane. But that’s OK, don’t be bitter, let me be your babysitter!

  Farther and farther Shane fell into the darkness. What was real? What was not? What was this? What was that? Descend and pretend that you have a friend down here—do not fear. Just disappear. Fade away and pray that one day that darkness goes away!

  Future generations will, hopefully, sing and dance and be grateful that they do not have a life like Shane fucking Rogers had.

  “I tried my best!” Shane bellowed into the darkness.

  You tried your best to fuck it up!

  Children, play your games as the adults play theirs.

  “I... I... I... eye... eye... eye...” Hundreds of glowing red eyes in the dark. They could see into Shane’s soul. “I just want the pain to go away. Please!” He went to press his hands together, momentarily forgetting one was missing.

  “William was too kind to you, you know that?” a deep booming voice said. “He should have taken all your limbs.”

  Shane looked in all directions, trying to spot whoever, or whatever, was speaking. He could see nothing but darkness and glowing red eyes. “Maybe he should have!” Shane roared.

  “His son likely died because of you.”

  “He was infected!”

  “Was he really?”

  “Yes! I had to do that!”

  “Did you?”

  “Yes!”

  “Jonathan, Martha, Jimmy. What do you think happened to them?”

  No matter which way he turned, there was a big red eye staring at him—judging. “I don’t know!”

  “You never gave it some thought?”

  “N-No.”

  “Luke. Poor Luke and his damaged leg. How far do you think he got?”

  “Shut up! I don’t know. Just shut the fuck up!”

  All of the red eyes shut—disappeared. Suddenly, there was light. Shane could now see where he was. He was in the school, the school full of cannibals. Standing in the classroom where he had been chained to a table, Shane mumbled, “Here?”

  They were going to eat me! Those monsters were going to eat me! My body parts on plates—tuck in. Eat my flesh, drink my blood. I wonder what I would have tasted like? Would they have been satisfied with me? Hopefully they would have choked on me. Ha! Choke on me and die, assholes! Ha! Take a bite out of my ass and fucking choke on it, you disgusting sons of bitches!

  The door swung open and in walked a large cannibal with massive biceps and a long, brown beard. “I’m Big Rex!” he growled. “This is my home!”

  The bonesaw on the table, Shane quickly grabbed it and held it up. “Don’t you fucking come near me!”

  “Oh, you a big man?” Big Rex said, smiling. “You gonna hurt me, big man?”

  “Stay back, I swear to God!” Shane gritted his teeth.

  “What are you gonna do? Huh? You think that little toy can hurt Big Rex?” He moved a little closer. “Do ya?”

  Shane slashed at the air as a warning. “Stay away! Stay the fuck away from me or I’ll kill you!”

  Big Rex laughed out loud. “I’m so scared, little man!”

  You need Sally to protect you! You need your little girl to save you! But she’s not here, not anymore! Little Sally is not here to save the day.

  Shane scratched at his forehead, trying to dull the voices. “No! I can protect myself! I don’t need her. I can do it myself.” He grinned and locked eyes on Rex. “I don’t need her!” With wide, wild eyes, Shane held up the bonesaw. “I can... do it... all by myself.”

  “Come on, then. Do it.” Rex pounded his fists together. “Do it, little man!”

  Dashing at the cannibal, Shane screamed, “I am not a little man!”

  On reflex, Big Rex put his arms up to cover his head. Shane brought the bonesaw down onto the large man’s forearm. Slice! Rex took a few steps back and examined the deep gash on his arm. Now angry, the cannibal said, “You little shit!”

  Wild laughter came from Shane. “You want some more? Do ya? Here, have some more!” He swung the bonesaw, slicing Rex across the belly. “Take that, you people-eating son of a bitch!” More wild laughter.

  You can do this, Shane. You can do this all by yourself.

  Fear grew within Rex. “OK, that’s enough! I g-give up!” He pressed his two hands against the wound on his belly. “Please!”

  “Please, please, please! Please, select something from our menu. We have useless husband. We have terrified wife. We have an assortment of small children! Choose a whole family and get a great discount!” He slashed at Rex’s leg and the big man fell to his knees. “Not so big now, are ya?”

  Rex held up a hand and whimpered, �
��Please stop!”

  “No, I don’t think I will stop at all!” He swung the bonesaw, it took off three of Rex’s fingers.

  “No! Please!” Rex screamed as he glanced at the severed fingers on the floor. “My family!”

  “Your family?” Shane growled. “How many families have you devoured?”

  “I... I don’t understand?”

  “Am I not speaking clearly? Come on, how many? Have a guess. How many families do you think you have eaten and shat out?”

  “I don’t understand.” Rex’s eyes were full of tears. “Please, don’t hurt... my f-family!”

  “I will hurt whoever the fuck I want.” Shane scowled. “Family. Huh. You monsters refer to each other as family, do you?” Shane held up the bonesaw. “Families that eat other families together... stick together. Is that it?”

  “D-Don’t...”

  Shane brought down the bonesaw at an angle, it dug into the side of Rex’s thick neck. Shane pulled the blade out and swung it again—this time Rex’s head came right off. Standing in a pool of his enemy’s blood, Shane felt powerful.

  Oh, so powerful!

  Rex’s eyes were still wide open. Shane kicked the severed head across the room and yelled, “Quit staring at me!” He laughed out loud.

  “No!” someone screamed from the doorway.

  Shane whipped his head around to see a young man (monster, another one of those monsters) standing at the doorway. This one had a skull painted onto his face. A skull? Was that supposed to be intimidating? Shane was not going to be intimidated anymore.

  I’m Shane goddamn Rogers, me and my new weapon are going to kick everyone’s ass. Shane and Bonesaw... one formidable team. Come at me, monsters, and lose limb after limb after limb!

  Sally didn’t need a weapon.

  Sally was a weapon!

  No, not a weapon. She was your little girl.

  My little girl! Dead.

  The young cannibal sprinted toward Shane and began to grapple with him. “You can’t beat me, I’m invincible!” Shane growled, before biting down on the young man’s ear. The young cannibal’s grip loosened and Shane shoved him away.

  The young man saw his own ear in Shane’s mouth. “Fuck!” he screamed. He then glanced at Big Rex’s body on the floor. “D-Dad...”

  Shane spat out the ear and said, “Dad? That your daddy? You Little Rex?”

  “Fuck you!” Little Rex roared. “You fucking monster!”

  “Takes one to know one.”

  What’s that, Bonesaw? Dismember this motherfucker? Good idea. Swinging the blade wildly, Shane rapidly approached Little Rex. Slice, slash, slice and dice. Sever whatever! Hack, cleave, chop—take a little off the top. Matching severed heads? Good idea! Little Rex is going to join his papa in Hell!

  First one arm, then the other—good work, Bonesaw. Now time for the head. Hold still, you shit! Shane wondered if he could take Little Rex’s head off with one clean blow—his neck was not as thick as his father’s, so Shane was confident that he could. He swung his good pal, Bonesaw, and it turned out he could take the young man’s head off with one blow. As the head rolled along the floor, Shane felt a sense of pride.

  Clapping hands—now Maria was at the doorway, wearing a white wedding dress. “Well done, Shane,” she said scowling. “Well fucking done.”

  “Maria?” Shocked, Shane dropped Bonesaw. “You’re alive?”

  “I wish you’d stop saying that.” She looked around the room. “This is some mess you made. You happy with yourself?”

  “I did what I had to do.”

  “Sure. OK. You had to do this. Got ya.”

  Puzzled, Shane shrugged. “What’s the matter? They’re fucking cannibals.”

  “Watch your fucking language!” she yelled. “Look at this mess. I mean, really look at it. You’re so stupid sometimes.

  Stupid Shane, gone insane, feel the pain inside your brain!

  Dance for the darkness.

  Shane looked at Big Rex’s body, then Little Rex’s. “They’re monsters. They eat people—families like ours!”

  “We’re not a family. Not anymore.”

  “What are you talking about? Of course we are.” Shane’s head began to ache. “We are a family!”

  “Nope. I’m dead, remember?”

  He tried really hard to think straight. “You are?”

  “Yep. And Sally... well... you let her down big time.”

  “Where is she? Is she here?”

  Maria sighed. “No, she is not here, idiot. She’s back where you left her. She died on the street because you made her fight. You really are a selfish bastard.”

  He remembered now. He remembered Sally dying—shot in the fucking head—and he remembered Maria dying. Oh yeah, my family is dead. But how was his wife standing right in front of him? If she had died, how could she be standing there talking to him. He could not work it out. Maria is dead... but she’s here talking to me. Dead, but talking. Deceased, but walking.

  Shane looked his wife in the eyes and said, “How are you here if you’re dead?”

  Maria put a lit cigarette to her lips. She did not have a cigarette a second ago, Shane was sure of that. After blowing smoke out of her mouth, Maria looked at the dead bodies and said, “Look. Really look.”

  Little Rex. Big Rex. Blood. Headless. “I don’t understand,” Shane whispered.

  Then, the scene began to dissolve, slowly revealing the truth. And the truth was, Little Rex and Big Rex were not cannibals. Shane was not in the school, he was in someone’s home, someone’s living room. What the fuck? Shane recoiled in horror—he had just...

  “I thought they were... monsters.”

  “Maybe they were,” Maria said. “But they were not the monsters you thought they were. To me, it seems like they were just a father and his son trying to get by. It looks like they were just trying to survive, like you and Sally.”

  Shane pressed his fingers against his head. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” He could feel something inside of his skull. “What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong? What’s wrong?”

  “The darkness got inside you. Remember?”

  Oh, God, yes! I remember now! It got me. The damn darkness got me! It was outside, whispering. Then it got inside!

  Lowering his hands, Shane said, “I have to end this before I fall any deeper.” He looked at the severed heads. “Jesus Christ. I murdered them.”

  Maria threw her cigarette to the floor. “Yes you did. You never did have much self-control. I’m surprised you never tried to kill Sally, cook her, and eat her.” She smirked.

  He angrily pointed at his dead wife. “Shut up! I would never do something like that! Sally meant the world to me!”

  “Sally meant the world was yours.”

  “Shut up!”

  “She was your weapon.”

  “No!”

  Maria moved in close and slapped Shane across the head. “Sing her a fucking lullaby! Play a game with her! No, you just—”

  “I was just trying to...”

  Maria sighed. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore. She’s gone, and soon... you’ll be gone, too.”

  Shane focused on the dead father and son once more. “There must be something I can do for them. There must be some way I can fix this.” He picked up Big Rex’s head.

  “There’s nothing you can do. Look at them, you fool. You don’t have your head screwed on right.”

  That was it! The solution! “I have it, Maria!” Shane knelt down at Big Rex’s body. “This will work, I’m sure of it.” He pressed the head against the body, trying to put it back where it should be.

  Maria rolled her eyes. “What... the fuck... are you doing?”

  “I’m... I’m going to... screw his head back on!” He turned the head around and around but it was no use, the head would not reattach to Big Rex’s body.” Out of frustration, Shane threw the head across the room. “Fuck!” he screamed.

  “It was a stupid idea,” Maria said.
<
br />   “Shut up. The boy, maybe it will work with the boy. He’s young, looks relatively healthy. Yeah, I can at least fix the boy.”

  “Shane...”

  He scrambled over to the boy’s head and picked it up. “I’ll fix you, Little Rex.” He was almost certain that this would work.

  “Shane, it’s pointless, you damn idiot.”

  “I’m gonna fix him.” Shane darted over to the boy’s body and dropped to his knees. “You’ll be just fine, lad.” He repeated the process, but Maria was right, it was pointless. “No,” Shane whimpered. “Come on, go back on. Come on, come on, come on!”

  “Some things you can’t fix.”

  “Fuck!” Shane roared, throwing the head away.

  “I think... the best thing to do right now... is end it yourself.” Maria frowned. “Just end it. The darkness will just drag you down, farther and farther.”

  On his knees, sobbing like a child, Shane said, “No fixing any of this. Farther and farther down into the darkness.” He glanced at his old pal, Bonesaw. “I should end it now.”

  “It would be the best thing to do.”

  “At least we’ll all be together.”

  Maria shrugged with little emotion on her face. “Sure.”

  “Sweetheart?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Do you think... do you think the world will recover?”

  “Not a fucking chance.”

  “So... that’s it?”

  “That... is... it.”

  “Yeah... you’re probably right.” Shane took a deep breath and then crawled over to Bonesaw. “You gotta help me, buddy. Can you do that? Huh? I can’t let the darkness drag me all the way down. You have to help me, one last time.” Bonesaw did not respond. Shane pressed his hands together. “Come on, please?”

  “Shane?” Maria said. “Aren’t you overlooking something? Something pretty damn big?”

  What could it be? He thought for a moment. Of course! Hands! Shane had two hands! “Does this mean... I didn’t really kill innocent people? This is all just... an illusion created by the darkness inside my head, isn’t it?”

  Maria was barely paying attention to her husband. “Sure. Maybe. Who knows. You gonna kill yourself or not?”