by Zane Menzy
“You’re so embarrassing. I am not looking at anything like what you’re suggesting.”
“That’s good. I would hate to have a blind son with incredibly hairy palms.” His mother laughed and walked away.
Keegan rolled his eyes. He may have found his mother’s pathetic attempt at humour funny had he not been shocked by the announcement Damon was arriving.
He must know this will be a fucked-up storm of awkward.
“Fuck,” Keegan mumbled to himself as he gripped his stubborn erection in his pants. Instinctively he knew that Damon’s visit was going to be every bit as hard as what was in his hand.
Chapter Two
Damon threw the old, worn travel bag onto the couch. He ripped open the zipper so he could start filling it with presents he had bought for Marie and Keegan. This festive trip south of the Bombay Hills to visit mother and son was not going to be easy. Truth be told, he didn’t even want to go. After what had unfolded in the cabin between him and Keegan it was going to take every ounce of strength for him to try and act normal.
What the fuck is normal anyway?
That was a perplexing question for a straight man who had been used like a sex toy by another male half his age. Damon had done his upmost to dismiss what they had done, sweeping the memory like dirty dust under some invisible rug in his mind. But try as he might, he still couldn’t erase the feeling of committing some sort of moral crime. As soon as he had arrived back in Auckland to his bachelor pad, he threw himself into his work and drunken nights out, getting laid with as many women as possible, desperate to try and salvage some heterosexual pride.
His pride may have taken a severe rogering but it had done some good. It had freed him of guilt. Guilt he had carried for years. Kegan’s father was the only other male Damon had ever been intimate with, and he hadn’t been kind about it. Damon and Matt may have remained best mates ever since those early days but Damon had always carried around a secret guilt about the way they had gotten to know each other and the way he had treated Matt. What Keegan did had help erase some of his guilt. It may not have been Matt who exacted the revenge—not that such a nice guy ever would—but his son without knowing had done a good fucking job of it with his young cock that was just as big as his father’s.
To be on the receiving end of such selfish passion had been infuriating, knowing he couldn’t escape Keegan’s wishes. The part Damon was most ashamed of was that a buried part of him had—for the briefest of moments—enjoyed it. He hadn’t enjoyed the pain, or the derogatory demands—of which there were plenty—but what he had enjoyed was the strange sense of freedom. In the strangest way, it almost felt liberating being pinned beneath Keegan’s young body drilling his arse. In that most submissive of moments Damon had been laid bare with nothing left to hide.
When Damon had gone that way in the summer of his youth he had been an arrogant rich kid who abused his position of so-called power by encouraging Matt to do him sexual favours in return for friendship. Damon had been the one in control. The one calling the shots. Back then it had been all about getting his end away, about finding fulfilment. Only one time—the last time—he was intimate with Matt had it been tender and loving. Not love in a sexual sense, just love from one friend to another.
How the fuck can I look Marie in the eye after what I did with her son?
Damon sighed, pinching the tip of his nose with his fingers. He shuddered thinking about it. It had been hard enough trying to look Matt in the face when he had returned from the trip with Keegan to the cabin. He considered Matt family and therefore Keegan was family, which made the whole thing feel uncomfortably incestuous.
I got fucked by a boy I am supposed to be a role model to. He used to call me uncle for fuck sake!
Damon wandered to the bathroom to grab his razor and toothbrush. As he returned to his bag on the couch, he heard a series of friendly knocks at the door. A quiet rhythmic thumping that was so polite in tone he knew who it would be.
Matty.
Damon ran a hand through his hair, bracing himself to act like everything was okay. He strolled over to the door and put his game face on. “Matty,” Damon said with a big smile. “Come in, brother.”
Matt was in his running gear of black shorts and black t-shirt. They were damp and his limbs dripped with perspiration. These clothes had become his second skin of late as he had taken up running and gyming, desperate to get into shape since his wife, Karina, and two step-sons had left him.
Matt offered a feeble wave, puffing heavily. He walked inside and took a seat on the couch beside Damon’s bag. He leant forward grabbing his knees, catching his breath.
“You look like you’re having a heart attack, Matty.”
“I feel like it too,” Matt said, rubbing the back of his neck. He glanced down at the open bag. “Are you heading down to see Keegan and Marie?”
Damon walked into the open plan kitchen. “Yep. I am heading down this evening.” He grabbed a glass from under the sink, holding it up in the air. “Fancy a water, old man?”
“Fuck yes,” Matt heaved out. He lay back into the couch, his breathing slowly returning to normal levels.
The way Matt was sprawled out in his gym gear made him look just how he did back in high school days when all he ever woe was baggy black clothing. He still had those sleepy blue eyes and pale skin. His black hair was no longer shaggy and aside from the specks of grey on his side burns, Matt still looked the same after all these years. Matthew Andrews may now be a successful accountant running his own firm, living in an executive house in their home suburb of Port Jackson but in Damon’s eyes, Matt would always be the lovable lad from poverty peak.
“Here you go,” Damon said, extending his hand out to pass Matt the tall glass of water. He nestled down in a chair across from where his mate was sitting. Matt gulped down the water greedily, drinking the entire lot. “Looks like you needed that,” Damon said.
Matt wiped his quenched lips. “Sure did. I’m absolutely shattered.”
“I guess you are getting old,” Damon teased.
“Ha. We’re the same age in case you had forgotten. Thirty-seven.”
“Yes, but you’re six months older than me, Matty. It makes quite a difference.” Damon grinned.
“Wow.” Matt rolled his eyes. “Six whole months.”
“Anyway, why are you still trying to kill yourself with all this fucking running.”
“I’m trying to lose the last of my fat.” Matt lifted his shirt up and patted his sweaty tummy, which was not fat at all.
“What are you talking about,” Damon exclaimed. “You’re not fat. You’re nice and normal.”
“The goal is to try and get myself some abs. I would like to say I had a six pack at least once in my life before I died. And not the kind that I keep in the fridge.”
“You don’t need abs. You’re fine just the way you are.” Damon didn’t understand Matt’s obsession with needing a defined stomach.
“Considering I’m a soon to be divorcee on the wrong side of thirty, I think I am gonna need to look better than just fine if I want to meet anyone.” Matt shook his head. “Ideally, I’d like to end up with a body like you.”
“Matty, it’s gonna take more than just running around the domain to get like this. You gotta be religious with your workouts and stop eating so much shit food.” He gave his pal a playful wink. “And figure out a way to inherit my genes.”
“There isn’t much I can do about changing my gene pool.” Matt tipped back the glass to feed his mouth the last remaining drips.
“You don’t need to change your gene pool. You don’t even need to have a body like mine. You have something even better.”
Matt put the glass down and frowned at Damon. “What’s that?”
“A fat wallet and pockets full of real estate,” Damon said plainly. “You have money, Matty! You don’t need to look like a fucking movie star as well.”
“Ha—” Matt chomped down on his own laughter. “I ain’t gonn
a have that much if Karina decides to try and get at my assets. She could get the house and half of everything.”
“Do you really think she will?” Damon knew this was something his mate worried about, but after years of knowing Karina she didn’t strike him as the type of person to take Matt to the cleaners. Besides, the woman had her own career and money, not to mention she had moved back to her native England. Getting a slice of Matt’s financial pie seemed more hassle than it was worth. “Even if she does take half of everything, you’re hardly going to be broke are you?” He shot Matt a condescending glare. “Are you?” he prodded.
“I guess not,” Matt mumbled.
“You’ll be fine, mate. You’re the most resilient fucker I know.”
“It’s not the money I’m worried about.” Matt sighed. “It’s being on my own again. It’s been so long since I’ve been single… I’m not used to it.”
This was true. Matt had been with Karina eight years. Since dating Marie at university, Matt had never been without a girlfriend for more than a few weeks. This past six months was the longest time he had ever been without a partner. Damon on the other hand enjoyed being single. He was so accustomed to his selfish life he couldn’t fathom the thought of sharing it, whereas Matt couldn’t handle the idea of not having anyone to share his life with.
Damon felt terrible for his best mate not being able to see Karina’s kids. He had helped raise both boys and even though he wasn’t their biological father, he had certainly treated them like they were his own. It was a sore point. After breaking up with Marie and returning to Auckland, Matt had never forgiven himself for losing contact with Keegan. The decision may have seemed sensible at the time to a barely turned twenty-year-old with big dreams, but Damon knew that it was one that Matt had grown to regret more and more as the years had gone by.
It was this decision and snowballing regret where Damon had come in to act as a male role model for Keegan. Marie’s family loathed Matt and he never tried standing up for himself to try and prove them wrong about any of their unflattering notions about him. As much as Damon loved his best mate, Matt was a chicken shit. He didn’t rock the boat and he kept his distance, scared to make a scene. After a couple years of barely seeing his own son, it wasn’t the fear of making a scene that kept Matt away but his embarrassment for not trying harder.
This is where Damon stepped up to the plate. He had made a promise to Matt when they became friends that he would always stand by him. Through right and wrong. While Matt was busy studying, getting on with life in Auckland, Damon offered to visit Marie and see how Keegan was doing. Matt was grateful and accepted Damon’s offer. The visits became a regular thing and soon he was driving down every few months to see how Marie and Keegan were getting on.
Marie’s family were nice people at heart and were nothing but lovely to Damon, but then they knew Damon came from a decent upbringing and even when Matt had achieved his own wealth and good-standing they never saw him more than the trashy kid Marie made the biggest mistake of her life with.
“Look, mate. You’ll be fine. Being single isn’t all that bad,” Damon said soothingly. “You’ll be able to come out with me. I’ll be your wingman.” He raised his eyebrows, trying to get an excited reaction out of Matt. “We will have a fucking blast.”
“You reckon?”
“Yeah, man. For sure.” Damon got to his feet, picked up Matt’s empty glass and walked towards the kitchen. “Trust me, Matty. You’ll be fine.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
“Of course, I’m right.” Damon put the glass in the sink, glancing back towards his friend.
“Maybe if Keegan decides to move up up he can join us,” Matt said, sounding hopeful.
Hearing Keegan’s name made Damon’s arsehole twitch.
I don’t think your son is going to be joining us in the hunt for women.
Damon forced up a smile. “Maybe. But do you really think an eighteen-year-old is going to want to hit the town with his dad?”
“I used to hang out a bit with my dad at that age.”
“To be fair, Matty, your dad is one cool cat and you had no fucking mates ‘till you met me.”
Matt laughed. “Yeah, he is one cool cat for sure. Speaking of which I get the luxury of having Christmas lunch with him tomorrow. I just hope he doesn’t try and bring a date.”
“Has Glen been chasing the old girls down at the tavern again?”
“Like a greyhound chasing a rabbit.”
Damon laughed. “That old bastard gets more action than me.”
“I don’t think anyone gets as much as action as you.” Matt focused his bright blue eyes on Damon. “Have you got any favourites so far this month? I reckon you should start releasing a calendar of your conquests.”
“Uh… no. It’s been a quiet month on that front,” Damon said, ignoring the joke. Images of Keegan naked in his arms blazed his mind. He cringed trying to dismantle the vision as a hot stab of lust went through him.
“Maybe you’re finally growing up,” Matt said.
“Fuck, I hope not. That might encourage the grey hairs to start growing.”
“You already colour your hair so maybe they have.”
“Piss off,” Damon chuckled. “I don’t dye my hair.”
Matt wagged his head. “Anyway, I better head off and continue getting this Greek God body I’m after.” He stood up and made his way towards the door. “Merry Christmas and I’ll come see you when you get back, okay?”
“Sure. Merry Christmas, Matty.”
“Oh, and Damon?” Matt poked his head back in the door.
“Yeah?”
“I know it’s not your responsibility but if you can… could you please try and convince Keegan to move up. I think it would be good for him… and me.” Matt smiled softly, a look that was almost painfully sad. He waved and disappeared out the door.
“Fuck sake,” Damon muttered to himself. He knew he would have to do his best to convince Keegan to move up. It was really the only reason he was even heading down. It would make Matt the happiest guy alive if Keegan were to move closer. And Damon wanted only good things for his best mate—even if the best thing was one incredibly fucking awkward situation for Damon.
Chapter Three
The summer sun shone down with menacing delight, scorching the land as if it were a savoury scone. The breeze coming in off the Tasman Sea was insignificant and offered little relief to the humidity in the air. As Keegan drove along, he could hear the melted and sticky tar squirting beneath his tires.
He was not looking forward to mowing the lawns if the day stayed hot like this. If he was being sensible he would have mowed them before going to visit Liam, but then Keegan wasn’t sensible. Not when it came to Liam. Nothing got in the way or came before his best friend and secret crush. After his night spent with Damon, Keegan was under no illusion now as to which direction his cock pointed. It pointed towards men. Especially men called Liam Corrigan.
This self-knowledge was a relief and a concern at the same time. The relief came from no longer being sexually confused. The concern stemmed from feeling on the outer with his friends. Liam, Skippy and Tony all chased after girls and Keegan knew in his heart of hearts he would never date girls again. It was a part of his life that was closed. A chapter that had come to an end after returning from his trip with Damon and breaking up with Tess.
He was exhilarated about what lay ahead but he was scared what his mates would think if they ever found out. And this is where the pain of an aching heart came into it. The only way he could ever have Liam was if he told Liam about himself. But then he knew that ran the risk of Liam taking things badly.
Would he disown me as a friend?
Keegan hoped not. Liam was a nice guy. The best guy. He wasn’t narrowminded but how would he feel finding out that his best mate had the hots for him? That his best mate had imagined a hundred different ways of fucking him? That his best mate had even snuck a pair of his freshly worn under
wear and pressed them to his face to jack off with.
Fuck I’m weird. Who does that?
Keegan cringed remembering the incident. He liked Liam so much that he would stoop to any level to have a piece of him. Even if the level was a warm, musty smell staining Liam’s underwear.
Liam had never done or said anything that remotely indicated he was into guys. Girls loved him and he was crazy about them in return. The closest Keegan had ever gotten to sharing his truth with Liam was the night of his birthday when they were drunkenly sprawled out on the roadside together; he had copped a feel of Liam’s crotch and left him the brightest love bite in history on his sexy neck.
Liam had just gone with the flow, offering himself to Keegan as a birthday wish. The best wish he could ever have been granted. The problem was Liam was so drunk that he didn’t even remember it happening. The next day when Liam had showed Keegan the bright red love bite on his neck, Keegan didn’t dare enlighten his mate who was responsible for the unsightly mark. He just played dumb and felt grateful for such a lucky escape from a premature outing.
It had taken a whole week for the love bite to fade. Liam had had to hide it whenever he left the house, wearing high collared shirts buttoned all the way up, sweating profusely in the heat of summer. Each time Keegan spotted it, he would have tingle of joy knowing it was his mouth that had planted such eye-catching passion on Liam’s smooth neck.
Keegan could see farmland in the distance, which meant he was getting close to his destination. Liam lived with his parents on the edge of town just before suburbia gave way to grassy paddocks. The Corrigan family home was only a few years old. It was made of deep-red bricks and had four large bedrooms. The windows were tinted; the type that acted like a mirror on the outside to give the occupants the best sort of privacy. Being so far out of town meant they had a large section. Liam’s mum had spent a small fortune turning it from a muddy mess into a well-established garden to appear older than its young age.