Crashing Hearts- The Complete Series

by Zane Menzy

  Thankfully after his father had gone and grabbed them each a drink, Keegan began to feel more at ease. They started off with how great it was to see him, asked how his mother was, how long was he in town for? After the polite formalities were out of the way, they talked for hours, going over the lost years they had not seen each other. Lost years. Keegan felt a tad guilty from all the hospitality being offered and that he hadn’t bothered to come up any sooner. But then it wasn’t like his father had ever bothered to come see him either.

  “Oi, blondini!” Garth yelled from the water’s edge. He began trudging forward, holding up his baggy black shorts that kept drooping. In a sloppy thud, he crashed his butt down on the towel beside Keegan. He dipped his head forward and started to shake his hair like a mangy dog, sending drips of water torpedoing all over Keegan.

  “Cheers for the shower, motley. Now I’m wet again!” Keegan laughed and shoved Garth’s shoulder.

  “Aww don’t you want my body’s juices.”

  “You can keep your juices to yourself.”

  Garth leaned forward, running his hands down his legs. “That’s not what you thought the night of Joel’s party,” he teased.

  “Okay, let’s not forget I was so pissed I was probably seeing two of you.”

  “You must have been in heaven having two of me,” Garth smirked.

  “You know, I just love how down to earth and not-vain-at-all you are.”

  “That’s me,” Garth said, flashing a sly wink. He looked down at his wet body, inspecting himself. “Are you serious that I ain’t your type?”

  “Yes, Garth. I can assure you that you’re safe from me ever trying to hit on you again. If the sun was my type, then you would be Pluto.”

  “Ouch,” Garth rubbed his chest dramatically like his heart was broken. “Way to let a fella down gently.”

  “I am sure you’ll live.”

  “What’s wrong with me then?” Garth asked in an accusing tone.

  Keegan laughed. “Nothing.”

  “Nar, come on,” Garth leered across at him. “What’s so wrong with me that I ain’t on your list?”

  Keegan nibbled on his lip. “I guess I prefer guys with muscles.”

  “Ha! What do you call these?” Garth sat up straight and flexed his bicep.

  “I would call those baby muscles that are waiting to grow up.”

  “Ooosh.” Garth laughed. “Their bigger than your muscles.”

  “You asked what I like in other guys, not what I look like.”

  “True,” Garth said. “What else?” His eyes daring Keegan to divulge more.

  “Well…” Keegan stared his friend up and down. “I prefer guys who know what something called a haircut is.”

  Garth ran a hand through his wet hair that was beyond shaggy. “Nothing wrong with my hair. You make it sound like it’s long or something.”

  “I just mean I prefer guys with shorter…tidier hair.”

  “How short are we talking?” Garth tugged on his hazardous fringe. “Like bald?”

  “No. Not solar panels.”

  “Right. Anything else about me you want to pull to pieces and give me a complex about?”

  Keegan rolled his eyes. “Oh god. You asked me to tell you, don’t get shitty.”

  “I’m not shitty.” Garth shook his head. “I am just amazed that you can’t see how fucking stunning I am.” Garth bent his legs up to rest his elbows on his knees. “Now I know you like my arse. Don’t even try to deny you checked it out the first night we met.”

  Keegan chuckled. “Okay, Garth. I admit. You have a nice arse for a weakling with a Woodstock hair doo.” He patted Garth on the shoulder. “Feel better?”

  “Pfft. Keegan, you need—” Garth’s mouth dried up of words as his sight was hijacked by a dark-haired beauty running past in a bikini. His eyes looked like they wanted to pop out and run after her.

  “You look like you have moved on already,” Keegan said, nudging him with his elbow.

  “Ha. Sorry. But that deserved my undivided attention.” He turned and faced Keegan. “I bet she would appreciate this hot body even if you don’t.” He patted his flat stomach, which was pale and smooth aside from a wide trail of hair that fed down below his belly button. Keegan flicked his eyes down at the self-confessed hot body. It wasn’t unattractive. Garth’s almost skinny appearance was probably fine to most people but it wasn’t Liam or Damon fine. Garth pointed a finger out at the crowd of people on the beach. “So then, Mr fussy, if I ain’t your type, which one of them are?”

  “Do we really need to find out what my type is? I don’t even know if I know yet.”

  “Yes we do,” Garth said quickly back. “You have had a rough arse fucking week and we need to find you the man of your dreams to take your mind off of things. So tell me… which one of them fine gents would you like to be bent to take it up the rear vent.”

  “Wow… your poetry is amaaazing,” Keegan mocked.

  “What can I say. I have a way with words.”

  Keegan nodded. “Mrs Palmer must get weak at the knuckles when she hears such romance.”

  Garth laughed. He held his hand out, wiggling his slender fingers. “Yep. One lucky lady I have here and she always puts out.” He finally laughed before launching back into Keegan about what his type was, “So… which guy here do you like?”

  “I dunno.” He scanned the beach, his eyes hopping from shirtless guy to shirtless guy. “I don’t know if any of them are my type.”

  Garth scoffed. “Oh, come on. You’re telling me you wouldn’t sleep with any of them?”

  Keegan shrugged.

  “Well, is there anyone back home that you like?” Garth asked.

  The fact Garth didn’t know the answer to this told him he hadn’t seen the video. “I suppose I have a bit of a crush on Liam.”

  “Joel’s little brother? Isn’t that one of your best mates?”

  “Was,” Keegan sighed. “I don’t think he has handled the finding out about me too well.”

  “Have you spoken to him?”

  “Not really.” Keegan shuffled uncomfortably on the towel. “I… I haven’t called him cos I don’t know what to say. In the video there is a part where I talk about how much I like him and so that has made shit more awkward.”

  “I see,” Garth said softly.

  “Like if it wasn’t bad enough seeing me fuck another guy it’s made weirder cos he knows how I feel about him.” Keegan cringed thinking about it. “I really screwed shit up.”

  “He could always contact you.” Garth nodded, backing up his claim. “It doesn’t have to be all up to you to be ringing and mending bridges.”

  “You reckon?”

  “Yes. Shit, Keegan, all you did was have sex and say you like someone. It’s hardly the crime of the fucking century. If it hadn’t been recorded then none of this would be a big deal. And if Liam with his big muscles and short tidy hair,” Garth said in a pissy voice, “is freaked out about it then that just makes him a fuckwit in my books.” The words came out with an angry edge. “I haven’t known you that long but I think you’re a decent guy and if Liam and you have been best mates for however many years then he should get over himself and fucking ring you already and find out how you are.”

  “You really think that?” Keegan asked, feeling better from hearing Garth’s perspective.

  “Fucking oath I do. I don’t think it. I know it.” Garth slowly nodded, a look of concentration on his face. “So guys like Liam are your type, aye?”

  “Apparently.”

  “How about you and me go out clubbing tonight and find you a Liam replacement.”

  “Clubbing?”

  “Yes, Keegan. Clubbing. We can go to a gay bar and see if we can find you some mindless gym bunny who doesn’t mind if you call him Liam number two.”

  He had never had a night out in Auckland before. The idea of it sounded fun but he wasn’t sure about hooking up with anyone. “I don’t think I am in the mood to be doing anything wi
th anybody just yet.”

  “Don’t be silly. You need to get back out there and find yaself a new stallion to ride.” Garth’s lips curled up mischievously. “Unless of course you want to be the one getting ridden.”

  “Let’s not go there.” Keegan shook his head.

  “Why not?”

  “Would you like it if I asked you how you like to fuck?”

  “Fuck. I don’t care. I’ll do any position the girl wants if she will have me.”

  Keegan sniffed loudly.

  “What are you doing?” Garth asked, frowning.

  “Just smelling that cologne, you got on. I think it’s called desperation by desperado.”

  Garth laughed, elbowing Keegan in the side. “I’ll give you desperate.” He looked out at the sea, lost in thought. “Yep, before I head back home I wanna make sure you have met someone awesome who can keep an eye on you while I’m not around.”

  Keegan’s stomach somersaulted hearing Garth mention he would be leaving. He didn’t want Garth to go. Having a friend with him was making staying with his father less awkward. “I thought you were gonna find a job and hang around.”

  Garth shrugged. “I was but… I haven’t even started looking. It could take a while to find something and then I’d have to try and find a flat and that would take ages. I can hardly stay with your dad much longer and wear out my welcome.”

  “You aren’t wearing out your welcome.”

  “Aww, will you miss me?” He eyed Keegan for a moment. “I know I’ll miss you.”

  Keegan smiled. “I’ll miss you too.” It felt like a sweet moment.

  Then Garth blew the moment to shards. “Yep. Tonight we hit town and find you some butt love.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Damon stood out on his balcony admiring the beautiful sunset while his mind mulled over ugly deeds. Matt had phoned him earlier and said he would stop in for a drink of water after his jog around the domain. Normally Damon liked that Matt would bother driving all the way to the city to get his cardio workout and then come see him, but now it was a painful inconvenience.

  Matt would be here any moment, completely unaware of the dirty game Damon was about to begin. A game he never thought he would do again. He brushed his sweaty palms down the front of his shirt. Damon didn’t do nervous as a rule. His natural disposition was one of confidence like most other good-looking people. An air of ease people like him took for granted. He didn’t take it for granted anymore. Not with how he had felt the past month with so much guilt and fear worming through his body.

  Jenna’s words of warning and how he go about solving his problem had been haunting in their cruelty. He knew Jenna adored Matt and that she was only giving Damon this advice to protect himself, but it was ruthless. Extremely ruthless.

  He may never even find out about me and Keegan.

  Damon had tried to comfort himself with this thought all week, hoping he wouldn’t have to resort to such duplicity. The internet was a universe and the video with Keegan was only one tiny spec in its vast ocean of stars. The chances of it surfacing were slim, surely.

  Weren’t they?

  It felt like being locked in a cold war, perched on a knife edge, waiting to fire the ghastliest weapon he possessed if Matt ever stumbled across the truth. The problem was he didn’t have a weapon. He didn’t have the kind of leverage Jenna said he needed. Matt was a nice guy and was void of scandal. A regular guy who had made himself wealthy through hard work and a bit of luck. As far as Damon knew not a cent of it was dirty money. This is why he was left to play the dirty game he had planned. It was the only chance he had to protect himself against an angry father’s backlash if the video were discovered.

  Damon let his mind wander through twenty years of friendship. Twenty awesome years. Even while Matt had lived overseas they had been in touch via email and Damon jetting over to holiday in London and catch up once every year. When Matt had returned to New Zealand, Damon became a regular guest at his waterfront home and was warmly welcomed by Matt’s new wife Karina. They had had some wonderful evenings and now Damon was on the verge of losing ever sharing another one with his best mate. He wished he had a remote control that could flick a switch inside Matt, making him obey, make him not get angry for Damon sleeping with his son.

  Damon’s trip down memory lane ended at the beginning. The summer they became friends. When anybody asked how they got to know each other they would both give the same bullshit answer. We knew each other growing up in Port Jackson. That wasn’t the whole story. Damon had never given Matt the time of day back in high school. Back then, Matthew—Fatty Matty—Andrews, was a lonely teen who was as uncool as you could get, dressed head to toe in shitty black outfits and who hung out by himself after his only friend Jason had left school. It was only once Matt took a job as a house cleaner for Jenna that Damon and Matt got to know each other. And it wasn’t the type of introduction to friendship you shared with others.

  Matt had been so enamoured by the popular kid Damon was back then that he would do anything for him. Absolutely anything. Damon had taken advantage of this and had got the young Matt to do him favours of a sexual nature. It had started off with just getting Matt to suck him off. Quick messy blowies. Matt wasn’t keen on the idea at first and had tried talking his way out of it. The dorky guy was straight but he was so fucking desperate to impress and be liked that he eventually relented and sucked Damon’s dick anyway.

  But then the strangest thing happened. Matt became attached. Needy and clingy like he was in love or some crazy shit. It had been a weird thing to have to deal with but rather than deal with it sensibly and explain to Matt it was just harmless fun, Damon took advantage of the boy’s emotions by stepping up the favours to full blown sex; bending Matt over and using him as a convenient place to stick his cock. Any hole’s a goal had been the philosophy and Damon followed it so brutally that Matt took more than one load inside him just to please the selfish horny teen Damon had been.

  In the end though Damon had regretted his actions. The way he had treated Matt was fucking ghastly and he succumb to a guilt so severe that he did everything he could to apologise. He had gone to Matt’s house where he said sorry for all the bad things he had done, all the selfish shit he had pulled and he made a promise to Matt that he would never ever hurt him again. Ever! After that promise was made they had gone to Matt’s bedroom and made love. Not fucked. It had been love. The weirdest kind of lovemaking though. The type that said goodbye and hello at the same time. It was a farewell to the sexual side of their dynamic but a big warm welcome to them becoming friends. Equals.

  After that last night spent intimately together, fusing their bodies in a mess of sticky limbs, they never mentioned any of it again. Damon didn’t know about Matt but he himself had done his best to never give it any thought. He threw the memory away like a piece of litter. As far as he was concerned they had both been young horny kids, exploring their sexuality and pushing some boundaries. That was all. Nothing more. And most definitely not something they would ever do again.

  ‘Till now.

  Damon swallowed hard. The only time he had ever had control over Matt was those early days. Those dark dubious days where he had ruled Matt’s heart. It was a fucking long shot but Damon needed to have Matt back to that dynamic. One where they weren’t equals. The one where Damon was ruler. Things had changed so fucking much though and it wasn’t high school anymore but Damon knew that even at thirty-seven he was still one of life’s cool kids and somewhere deep down Matt was still the unpopular loner desperate to be liked and given approval.

  This is so fucking bad, Damon thought.

  He may have let Keegan become his boss, but Damon needed to regain his sexual authority. He needed to copy Keegan’s ruthless approach and exert control over Matt. Damon felt his tummy squirm and his face burn with a shame that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. It was fucking crazy but he knew if Keegan walked in the door right now, he would probably do whatever the little punk wanted. Pro
bably even beg him to degrade him… use him again… punish him.

  Until Keegan had buried his dick inside him like he had erected a flagpole and conquered him, Damon had always done what Damon wanted. Nobody got shit from him unless he thought he was getting something out of it. He was selfish and he liked being selfish. But now he found himself under a spell where he had to give someone else what they asked for, no matter how destructive the request was. Keegan wasn’t even someone he was romantically interested in. He was only eighteen and had a fucking cock!

  None of this makes sense.

  Damon’s attention was swiftly brought back to Matt when he heard heavy footfall echoing up the stairs outside his apartment. He took a series of deep breaths, slapped his cheeks and said to himself, “Calm down, Damon. You got this.” He quickly stripped his shirt off, wanting his body to help do some of the work. He ignored his inner voice telling him how bad this all was.

  I’m sorry Matty, but this is the only way I know.

  Chapter Twenty

  Matt clutched his side that burned with stitch as he used his free hand to knock on Damon’s door. He felt woozy from all the running and when his mate opened the door it was a relief to go inside and collapse on the couch.

  “You look knackered, Matty,” Damon said, standing with his arms akimbo. He had no shirt on and showed off the type of body Matt wished he had.

  “Knackered,” Matt wheezed, “would be an understatement.” He pulled the bottom of his shirt up and wiped his sweaty face. “You know what they say, though. No pain, no gain.”

  Damon smiled. “That is true.” He walked over to the open plan kitchen, fossicking through his yellow Smeg fridge ‘till he emerged with a jug of icy chilled water, which he poured into a glass and brought back over. “Here you go. Nice n cold to cool you down.”

  “Cheers.” Matt grabbed the glass from Damon and down the whole thing in three thirsty mouthfuls.