Afraid of what more might come out of his mouth, I stay silent and stew in peace. I know I was an asshole and should have just told her straight what was going on. I thought I was doing what was best for her, and as Dylan pointed out I was scared what she’d choose if I gave her a choice. But can I really go after her and explain, and maybe see how things can be between us away from where she was sick?
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll come back with you.” I grin. “You can help me clean up my mess in the house first, and then we’ll leave.” Frowning, I ask, “Should I call Ramon?”
“I’ll take care of that while you’re cleaning your shit up.”
54
Paige
“Why are you cleaning out the guest room?” I frown at my dad, Ramon, who has just finished making the bed with fresh linen.
“We’re going to have a guest staying with us for a short while.” He won’t meet my gaze as he fluffs the pillows.
“Anyone I know?” I hope they’re not going to be staying too long, I’m not in the most sociable of moods at the moment, thanks to Seth’s harsh dismissal.
His mother’s words are still ringing in my ears, and Seth’s lack of intervention drive the hurt even deeper. I never asked, or even expected Seth to take over and insist on being the one to help me through my treatment, but he had, which is why I can’t understand why he wanted me gone now. On my way home I’d tried to rationalize his actions, and my only conclusion is that my sickness finally tired him out, but I can’t find it in me to forgive him yet. I’ve fallen really hard for him and I’d been ready to transition our friendship into something more. How wrong I had been.
“Um, maybe,” Ramon answers with a wince.
“Do you not want me to know who it is? I’m not really up to entertaining Dad.”
Ramon walks around the bed and grasps ahold of my shoulders.
“Give him a chance, honey.” He leans forward and places a gentle kiss to my forehead.
“Him?” I mutter, just as I hear the front door creak and then muffled voices reach my ears.
Familiar voices!
My heart begins to pound when I hear Seth’s voice, my eyes narrowing into slits at Ramon. “He’s here?”
Standing with his hands placed strongly on his hips, he nods. “Let him explain, Paige.”
I shake my head, tears blinding me. “I can’t. He hurt me.”
“I know he did.”
I’m angry at them for letting him come here when they know what he’s done to me. He’s left a hole in my heart. I’m not sure I have the strength right now to do anything but hide. “I’m going to my room.” I turn and quickly get inside and lock the door before anyone can stop me. I hear Ramon call my name. I ignore him. I love both of my dads but right now I hate that they’ve done this to me; forced me to see Seth again. I don’t understand why they’d let him come here after everything.
A slight knock on my door followed by, “Paige, please open your door,” from Noah. “Please let me in.” I hear him sigh. “I’m alone,” he whispers.
Not bothering to grab a tissue, I cross my bedroom and unlock the door for Noah. He takes one look at my face and tugs me into his arms, holding me close. “I’m sorry we dropped this on you.” He kisses the top of my head and keeping his arms around me, shuffles me into my room, closing the door behind him.
“Why is he here?” I ask, tilting my tearstained face up to his.
He kisses my forehead. “Seth has been with you for months. He insisted he wanted to be there for you and we let him. He never once complained. Never once asked us for help. Even when I felt he was reaching his limit with stress and worry. He stayed by your side, and he helped you through what will probably be the worst time of your life. Now, he had pressure coming from all directions to move forward with his life and to let you come home.” He kisses my cheek. “Honey, that young man in the kitchen chose the wrong way about getting you to come home, but he had his reasons. You need to talk to him, let him explain.”
I blink wondering what pressure he’s talking about. “His parents?” I guess. “They’ve been on the phone a few times asking him when he’s going back to Boston.”
“Talk to Seth,” Noah says strongly, a wry smile on his lips. “I have a feeling he isn’t planning on leaving for a while…or so he says.” He kisses me on my other cheek and leaves me to my own thoughts.
There is a huge part of me that wants to talk to Seth because I do miss him terribly, but there is a part of me that hurts too badly. But it’s Seth, the man who held me through the worst of my sickness. He was always there for me, not once letting me think it was too much for him. So why once I was on the road to recovery did he have a change of heart? I don’t know how men think or this particular one, but in order to move on I do need to talk to him. Realistically I’m aware of that. I just want everything, especially my heart to stop hurting. I’m fed up of constantly being in pain.
Slowly opening my bedroom door, I slip downstairs, catching my breath when I see Seth. He’s tall and muscular with his dark hair longer now, growing out from the shaved military cut he’d had done when I’d had my head shaved. He is still as handsome as ever and it takes all my strength not to run and throw myself into his arms. I’ve missed him so much. I thought I would, but not to the extent I have. I’d lived with him for months. He’s seen me at my worst and my best, we know each other in and out.
Seth suddenly meets my gaze and all conversation in the kitchen stalls, and I feel all eyes on me, even though Seth is the only one I see.
“Paige?” Ramon steps forward, holding his arms out. “I’m glad you’re joining us.” I find myself in his arms and he whispers, “Are you sure you’re okay to do this now?”
I swallow hard. “It’s fine.” I pat him slightly on the back and he releases me. I offer a small smile toward Noah, and my sheepish cousin, Dylan, when it all falls in to place.
It was Dylan who went to Seth and brought him back here. I should have known. They’ve been best friends for a few years, and always have each other’s back. Seeing them here together makes sense, I raise a brow toward Dylan who looks everywhere but at me.
“Typical,” I mutter under my breath before I finally give Seth my full attention. “I thought I’d be the last person you’d want to see.” I don’t miss the pain that flashes across his face at my words, but I do try to ignore it. Why should I make it easy for him?
“Why don’t you go out on the back deck and talk. There’s a nice breeze in the air so it’s not too hot,” Noah suggests, nodding toward the double glass doors behind the breakfast nook.
Knowing this is the reason that Seth is here, I cross toward the back deck, sitting in my favorite seat. The chairs are large and the cushions larger, so it really is easy to curl up and get comfortable.
Seth sits opposite so he can see me, but looks anything but comfortable as he sits forward with his elbows on his knees, his hands locked together.
“What do you have to say to me that hasn’t been said?” I pause. “Because I thought your mom really put it all out in the open.” I want him to know how much he’s hurt me, just standing by while she’d torn me down, and I hope before he leaves the house that he does.
“I was afraid you’d choose home instead of me,” he blurts, followed by a wince. He jumps up and starts pacing back and forth. “I’d had enough of everyone wanting something from me. Not you. But my parents wouldn’t stop bugging me to send you home so I’d go back to Boston. They also wanted their beach house back. Your dads constantly messaged me asking when you were heading home. I knew it was a matter of time and I panicked, okay?”
He runs his hands through his hair. “I wanted you to come to Boston with me. Share the apartment with me, Dylan, and Jaxon. Sleep in my room with me. Just…be with me dammit. But in the end I got scared and didn’t ask. I knew you hated the city, being around lots of people. I couldn’t do that to you, and I was scared, no I was terrified that you’d choose home instead of me, so I let you th
ink I’d had enough, to send you home.”
I stare at Seth in complete surprise at his confession, knowing that I believe him because it’s too far fetched not too. I just don’t know how I’m supposed to respond because no amount of words or confession will take the hurt already caused away.
“You let your mom talk to me the way she did in front of your father and sister. It was embarrassing and heartbreaking. For so long you had been in my corner and then all of a sudden you just left me to fend for myself. I can’t express how much that hurt me, Seth. I don’t understand why you couldn’t have just sat me down and explained everything to me. Explained what everyone wanted, and to let me choose, instead of deciding for me.”
“That’s just it. I didn’t decide for you on purpose. I decided because I didn’t want you to reject me. That terrified me.”
“So instead you rejected me. I get it.” I turn away, not wanting him to see the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks.
“No!” Seth crouches in front of my chair and cupping my face gently in his large hands, forces me to look at him. “My feelings for you have only grown Paige. I’m so sorry that I let you think otherwise. I only let you think I’d had enough because I was scared. Really scared. I was an asshole. I know I should have told you but hell, I didn’t want to lose you, which I did anyway. I’m really stupid sometimes.” He laughs. “Where you’re concerned I’m pretty stupid most of the time.”
“I’m still angry with you Seth. That apology doesn’t take away the hurt you caused me.” I push him away and move toward the doorway. “For the record, I’d have visited my family, but I’d have come to Boston with you. I’d have gone anywhere with you, if you’d asked. But you didn’t. And now it’s too late.” Without a glance, I head inside, ignoring my fathers and Dylan, I make a bee line for my bedroom, before my tears fall harder.
55
Seth
I’d have gone anywhere with you, if you’d asked.
Now it’s too late.
The words Paige spoke play over and over in my head, keeping me from falling asleep. Sleep has been hard to come by since she’d left the beach house anyway, but knowing she would have chosen me…and that she is sleeping down the hallway plays havoc with my mind. I can’t stop turning her words over and over.
She has to accept my apology and come back with me, or I could transfer here for my last semester. It wouldn’t be ideal, but if Paige won’t leave then I have to stay too, until she believes me. There’s no other way. I glance at the glowing screen of my phone and realize it’s past two in the morning, so everyone else should be asleep. Would it be wise to slip down the hallway and into Paige’s room? I’m about to try.
I don’t make any noise as I slip from the guest room, and slowly make my way down the hallway to Paige’s room at the end. There are no creeks, and I slip inside her room unnoticed. I’m surprised she hasn’t locked her door, but then again, she wouldn’t be expecting me to visit her in the middle of the night. I glance down and wince thinking that perhaps I should have put some sweats on to cover my briefs. Too late now.
Paige is restless in bed and has the cover kicked off, showing me her beautiful body. She wears only a tiny pair of panties that barely cover her silky dark curls, and a white vest top stretched over her generous breasts. My breath catches in my throat and my body reacts in a way that makes me really wish I’d worn sweats. My briefs don’t hide a damn thing and barely cover my straining cock.
Hoping like hell she doesn’t scream the place down, I kneel on the bed at her feet and slowly move up to lie beside her. The moment I do, she’s in my arms. A leg is thrown over my hip, her foot pressing against my ass as she rubs her pussy up and down my erection. She moans loudly, and it takes a hell of a lot of control for me to grab her bottom and hold her still. My breath is hard just like my body, and I ache badly, but no way can I let this continue when I’m certain she’s still asleep.
Leaning forward, I hiss out a sharp breath when the hard tips of her breasts rub against my naked chest. They’re hard tight buds beneath her stretchy top and my mouth waters wanting to nibble and suck on all her delicious flesh. “Paige,” I whisper into her ear.
“Hmm,” she mumbles.
“Paige, you’re killing me here.”
She stills at my words and the moment her eyes open, she turns her head slightly to meet my gaze. “I wanted to talk and you attacked me.”
She gasps and tries to move away, but no way is that happening. “I want you to feel what you do to me. Only you Paige. My dick is so hard that I’m afraid I’ll come in my briefs like a horny teenager. The feel of your pussy and tits rubbing on me drives me totally crazy…and I bet if I slip my fingers into your tiny panties, I’d feel you wet and swollen with need for me.”
“I was dreaming,” she moans, clamping her mouth closed.
I nuzzle into her neck and feel her pulse kick up a notch. “About me.”
“No.”
“Yes, you were. Don’t lie to me Paige. I promise never to lie to you again. I’ll always be honest even if it’s something you don’t want to hear.” I nibble at her collarbone. “I’m so damn sorry I was an asshole. I can’t promise I won’t be again, but I can and will promise never to lie to you again.” I squeeze her ass, causing a sharp gasp to leave her lips, which in turn makes my cock jerk hard against her.
“I promise not to lie to you Seth.” She moans and jerks her hips. “But you’re not getting into my panties in my parents house.”
My eyes light as I lift my head, holding her gaze. “So does that mean when we’re not at your parents house, your little panties are free game to me?”
“You’re not getting into my panties Seth.”
“I don’t want to get into your panties.” I smirk. “I want to slide my cock inside of your wet, hot, tight body. I want you to ride me so I can watch your tits bounce in my face. I want to put my mouth on your pussy and lick you until you come crying my name. I want to feel your lips wrap around my cock while I watch you sucking me off. I’ve had those dreams since we first met over two years ago.” I kiss her surprised lips. “How am I doing with only telling you the truth?”
“Hmm,” she clears her throat while I grin down at her beautiful face. “You’re doing good. So good in fact, that I might be the one taking advantage of you in my parents’ house.”
“Heck no.” I catch her wandering hand as it starts to slip into my briefs. “I want you, Paige. It’s obviously something you can’t miss even if I hadn’t admitted it so explicitly.” I kiss her lips again, unable to stop touching her. “Are we good, Paige? Can you forgive me for being an asshole? Can you give me another chance and date me?” I brush a light kiss over her lips. “Be mine Paige.”
She reaches up and caresses the side of my face. “Please don’t hurt me like that ever again. I can’t tell you how much that hurt.”
“Never.” Settling down on the bed, I move Paige so that I’m spooning behind her. “I’m going to hold you while we sleep. I need to give you that, and I need it too.”
“I do need you holding me.”
She wiggles back and her bottom ends up so snug against my groin that my dick throbs between her buttocks. “Ignore my reaction to you.”
“You feel really good.” She giggles, rubbing and pushing.
“Please stop,” I bite her earlobe, “because I’m seconds from ripping your panties off and fucking you. It would be hard and quick, and then I would never be able to look your fathers in the eye again.”
“What’s gotten into you?” She questions. “We’ve never been this close before with so little clothing between us.”
“I want to get into you,” I admit. “I screwed up big time and I’m not going to risk losing you again. We’re meant to be together and I’m going to prove it to you…just not in your parents’ house.”
Paige snuggles closer and sighs. “I still can’t understand why you hurt me like you did. You must have realized how much that would hurt.”
&n
bsp; I breathe into her neck wondering what the hell to say because I did know I’d hurt her. “All I can do is apologize over and over again for hurting you. Even though I knew it would hurt deeply, I never thought it would hurt as much as it did…or maybe I did. I don’t know anymore. All I know is that I never once regretted being with you. Not once Paige. My first thought was always about you. Even after I’d sent you running home, my first thought was of you. I honestly want to see what we have now you’re recovering.” I kiss her shoulder. “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be with you.”
“It’s going to take time for me to trust you fully again. You know that, right?” She turns in my arms, her body close.
Wrapping her tightly in my arms, I sigh in relief and pleasure that she’s here, pressed against me. She hasn’t pushed me away or screamed for me to leave. “I’ll earn that trust.”
“I’m tired,” she mutters against my neck, sending goose bumps down my spine and around to my groin.
She chuckles, wiggles, and falls asleep while my body is screaming for release.
56
Paige
I slowly open my eyes knowing that I’m lying pressed against Seth’s hard and aroused body. His breathing is ragged but I think he’s still asleep so I let my eyes run over his chest as I move away. His grip on my hips tightens and I’m not going to complain because feeling his hard morning erection pressing long and thick along my lower body is delicious. I run my hands over his chest, feeling all the definition along his torso, and find his nipples through the light dusting of hair. I use my fingers to rub the hard buds and feel his answering arousal in the jerk of his penis.
“You’re asking for trouble,” he whispers, deeply.
“I’m enjoying touching you.”
He groans. “I love having your hands on me…even if I’m going to need a very long cold shower before seeing anyone else.”
McKenzie Cousins Box Set 2 Page 23