As Many Reps as Possible

by Jason Khalipa

  Of course, nothing will do the work for you. You need to both understand and implement focus. For example, these principles tell me that at times my phone is a distraction, but it is up to me to find the right way to deal with it and focus on the things that need to get done. So, for example, my wife and I will swap phones on occasion. That way, I don’t have access to my email and social media, but if she (or anyone else) needs to contact me in an emergency, they still can. Little things like this aren’t so little when they are done in a wider context.

  Applying the focus element of the AMRAP Mentality is easy in theory, but in practice can actually be quite difficult—which is why I am constantly working on this skill. It boils down to the following: at work, be at work and work; at home, be at home and focus on your home life; and when you are working out, get after it and then move on to other things. The concept is simple, but the execution takes practice and constant reflection. Evaluate yourself with a brutal honesty. How present actually are you?

  Recall the analogy of the AMRAP Mentality to riding a bike? Focus fits perfectly here. To ride a bike without toppling over, you must first master the balance of keeping yourself upright through intense focus. Have you ever been riding a bike, gotten distracted, and ended up going off course or even falling? It certainly has happened to me.

  Just like riding a bike requires your attention and pedaling, the AMRAP Mentality demands your attention and work. And similarly to how you need to pump the pedals yourself, the work in your life won’t be done for you unless you actually do it. Yes, this means YOU actually will need to roll up your sleeves, align your focus, and work. No one will do it for you, and you don’t want someone doing it for you—because this is the path to unlocking your true potential.

  One of the most crucial factors in developing next-level focus involves emotional control. The most critical error I see people make in business, competition, and relationships is the tendency to lose control of their emotions when the heat starts to rise or when they are faced with adversity. Winners stay calm and channel that stress into productive energy. Losers complain, fly off the handle, and lose their cool. In my experience, this comes down to a fault in focus. And it begs the question…are you focused on the right things? Or, do you tend to focus on the things that you can’t control?

  Relentless Positivity and Knowing

  What’s in Your Control

  Over the course of my career as a professional athlete, I’ve gone through many types of training. In addition to physical training, I’ve pushed myself to train up the mental muscles that help me get a handle on my ability to focus on the right thing at the right time, under the kind of pressure that a large crowd and live TV broadcast can stir up. To do this, I actually employed a mindset coach for many of my competitive years. This education helped me across the board to become less stressed, reactive, and distracted, and more focused, reasoned, and present.

  In 2008, I was the world champion. But undeniably, my game was off during the 2009 CrossFit Games. I had become too focused on things that were outside my control, which resulted in a crippling anxiety that eventually caught up with me. Instead of focusing on my own preparation, mindset, and plan of attack, I was far too worried about my competitors, the workouts, the judges, and the conditions. There were several factors that caused me to lose my focus, but I’d say the biggest was that I hadn’t learned to adjust to the pressure of being the champ, and to pressure in general.

  By the time the events began, I had wasted so much energy on things I couldn’t control that I had little left for the actual physical endeavor. These distractions took me off my game and likely caused me to perform less than my best. After coming to grips with failing to meet my expectations, and those of the people around me, I knew I needed to learn how to stay focused on what was in my control.

  To that end, I met with mindset coach Adam Saucedo, who laid out the following exercise in which I charted the stressors in my life. Adam asked me to draw two circles on a piece of paper. He then instructed me to place everything within my control in the left circle and the things outside my control in the right circle. When I finished, it felt like someone had just taken a 500-pound barbell off my back. I had been carrying all this extra baggage for so long—I now felt free.

  At the time, I did this exercise solely to help me compete; but later, I would incorporate it after Ava’s diagnosis. While it didn’t happen overnight, I began to more effectively compartmentalize what was in my control and what was not. I noticed the change first in fitness, and then in all aspects of my life. I worked for years on this single concept, continually attacking the mental image of those two circles.

  It paid off in spades in sport, life, and business. When you are able to focus on what is in your control—and push away the things you can’t change—you can turn almost any situation around. This is especially powerful during times of strife. Once you relinquish the worries associated with all the “noise,” you reclaim power over your life. It gives me goosebumps to this day!

  When working on this approach with Adam, I also developed the habit of incorporating positive self-talk. This took an especially long time for me to develop, but it played a critical role in so many situations. There were countless times when I would find myself in the middle of a workout and a negative thought would run through my head.

  “Your legs are dead. You can’t go much longer. You’re finished.”

  “You can’t keep up with him. You felt tired today. You’ve got so much going on.”

  “You’re looking small today. The bar feels heavy. Your back feels tight.”

  Damn. Even writing those out makes me feel bad. Focusing on these types of negative thoughts will not help the situation—it will just let them get the better of you. Your legs won’t feel better, they will feel worse. You won’t snap out of it and get a burst of energy…you’ll take a break, yawn, and feel even more tired. Sound familiar? These thoughts need to be treated like a cancer—identified and excised immediately. You need to force them out and replace them with positive reinforcement.

  Instead of, “Jason, your legs hurt…” I shift the focus away from the pain and fatigue to sentiments that benefit me, like, “Woo! My legs are burning. It feels like they are growing. Good. Getting stronger.” Sometimes I think of it as coaching someone. Those of you who have coached or motivated someone: you would never say something like, “Your legs hurt. You probably can’t breathe. You shouldn’t even be here.” You would say, “Nice work! Keep moving! You’re getting so strong! Your movement looks great!” And so on. This same thing should apply to the way you coach yourself through life. I use exercise as an example often because I truly believe the concepts of effective training transcend the gym and carry over into life.

  Committed to Curing Ava

  The development of these skills was really put to the test when Ava was diagnosed with leukemia in 2016. It was a situation that we obviously weren’t expecting and one that demanded vigilant, maniacal focus from Ashley and me for an extended period of time. During that time, we came to rely on positive self-talk, focusing on what we could control, and emotional discipline that would enable us to make the choices necessary to cure Ava. It was the most important moment of my life. I could not be distracted by anything on the fringe. Sleepless nights at the hospital, emergency procedures, and being there for my family—I think this experience showcases the true power of the AMRAP Mentality.

  When Ava was diagnosed, I called my mom and dad, Sue and Robert, immediately. My dad had leukemia when I was in high school and understood better than anyone else how to cope and get through this challenging time. Our families’ unwavering support helped define and align my focus. This diagnosis, like it does for all when it comes to cancer, hit us hard. Everything was instantly turned upside down. Ashley and I were overcome by emotions, thoughts, and concerns. For example, what would we do with our two-year-old son, Kaden? We were likely going to be in the hospital for a month straight, and we needed help
. I asked my parents if they could take care of Kaden while we figured out the path forward. I knew this would mean that my parents would need to take time off work and adjust their lives. My dad’s answer will stick with me forever: “Your mom and I already told work that we will be out indefinitely. You need to focus on one thing—getting Ava well.”

  This lesson on focus from my dad was soon matched by the rest of the family. Everyone arrived at the hospital shortly after the word was out, which is something my wife and I will never take for granted. Family is everything. When you feel like the room is closing in on you and you’re grasping for the thinnest slivers of light…these are the people you need. I can only imagine what the doctors and nurses were thinking, seeing the waiting room filled every day for a month. I didn’t take many pictures during this time, but I didn’t need to because I’ll never forget the love and support.

  With the complete love and support of my family I was able to apply a supercharged version of the AMRAP Mentality to Ava’s diagnosis. In a manner that could only be described as surgical, I systemically cut out things I had no control over and set my sights squarely on getting Ava well. The stakes couldn’t have been any higher. I relied on the AMRAP Mentality to make every day, hour, and minute count as best I could. I relied on it to push myself to be better informed, better prepared, and better equipped. I read every book on cancer I could find. I learned everything I could about Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia, or ALL. I leaned heavily on the AMRAP Mentality to evaluate the effectiveness of everything I was doing. I reevaluated my entire life. My focus was laser-like…nothing else mattered at this point but my family.

  Next-Level Focus in Action

  Let me take you back to Stanford Children’s Hospital, but this time a few weeks after the initial diagnosis. By this time the harsh reality had set in—our daughter had cancer. My wife and I were keeping a twenty-four-hour watch on Ava, day after day. The slightest changes in her temperature or appearance were critical signs in understanding and identifying how she was doing. It was an emotional rollercoaster, with life and death hanging in the balance. It was exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally. Day after day, hour after hour, we kept vigilant watch. The moments in competition, when my muscles burned and my entire body felt on the verge of collapse…they pale in comparison to those days. Our focus, stamina, and emotional control—all key elements of the AMRAP Mentality—were tested beyond what we could have ever imagined.

  Then one day…we saw a shift. We noticed a very subtle change in Ava’s vital signs, and without hesitation called the doctor in. Unfortunately, it quickly became clear this was not the good kind of shift. What had started very subtly turned into a sharp, severe drop in blood pressure. With a quick turn of his head, the doctor momentarily shifted his attention from Ava and looked at us. Even before he spoke, his eyes made clear to us the seriousness of the situation. His words were clear and direct, “If Ava’s blood pressure doesn’t come up in the next two minutes, I want to prepare you for what will happen. I will call a rapid response team. We will need to act without interference. It will be a lot of people.” I gripped Ashley’s hand firmly.

  Two minutes later he called in the rapid response team, and twenty emergency medical clinicians rushed into the room. I’ve never been more frightened in my life. The lead doctor, to whom I will forever be grateful, spoke with clear yet undeniably urgent direction to the entire team. Each team member had a specific responsibility. It was the most inspiring expression of teamwork I have ever seen. Ashley and I could only stand back and watch. We held our breaths, not speaking a word. It was obvious that our daughter’s life was not in our hands…but theirs. We quite simply, after all our watching and reading and waiting, had no control.

  After what seemed like a lifetime of intense discussion followed by quick action, infusion, and medication, the tone changed. Ava was rolled out of the room and taken to the ICU. But the frantic pace had noticeably slowed…the tone went from life and death to one of optimistic concern. I remember looking at Ashley as we went upstairs and asking, “Did you hear how their voices changed?” She responded, “Yes, definitely.” The whole situation only lasted ten minutes. But in that ten minutes we experienced nearly every human emotion possible.

  I share this with you as a very cut and dry (albeit, extreme) example of what is under your control versus what is not. During those fateful ten minutes, it was clear that the only things Ashley and I could control were our emotions and mindsets. Literally everything else was out of our hands. All responsibility was squarely in the hands of Ava’s doctors. Their actions, and God’s will, would determine the outcome. My mind was occupied with other things at the time, but looking back I can clearly see that those doctors were using the AMRAP Mentality. They had a clear why (getting my daughter through this crisis), were focused on all the right things at the right time, worked incredibly hard, and when they had to, shifted gears. It was awe-inspiring to say the least. This is only one example of the caliber and professionalism of the medical team at Stanford. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last that they saved our daughter’s life.

  Ashley – Her Grace, Her Strength, and Her WHY

  The AMRAP Mentality can be discovered and practiced in many ways. There is no one-size-fits-all solution. Some people might need many years (with plenty of mistakes along the way) to discover their why and develop the other elements. I certainly fall into that category—I was not an overnight success (and still don’t feel like I have reached “success”), and the AMRAP Mentality is not something that, once achieved, stays with you no matter what! The lifestyle and ethos have to be maintained.

  Other people, though, might stumble into their why, and learn the other steps of the Mentality, much more quickly. These sorts of people are often thrown into the deep end of life, knocked out of their comfort zones by something unexpected and difficult. My wife, Ashley, is one of these people.

  When Ava got sick, Ashley’s grit and positivity prevailed. As long as I had known her, she had been my rock. She was always consistent, solid, and thoughtful. She also encouraged me to up my game when I needed it. By the time of Ava’s diagnosis, we had known each other for a long time. Ashley’s actions and attitude in the hospital were certainly not a surprise to me, and I was incredibly proud. She didn’t waste time or energy blaming anyone or obsessing over the question why us? She saddled up for the battle and took hold of what she could control.

  Ashley has always been an incredible mother. But when we got Ava’s diagnosis, I noticed an immediate change. She ramped things up into a higher gear, and I could tell she had found a new strength. I was all over the doctors, wanting to get additional information, learning about treatments, putting in that work. Ashley instantly became the one who kept everything running, with a level of commitment that never faltered. If a call needed to be made, she was on it. If something needed doing, she knew just what to do before anyone else had even processed it. What I saw that first night was an amazing thing. It had taken me years to find my why, but she had found hers in a single night: she was going to keep this family together no matter what.

  At that moment, Ashley’s words and actions were equivalent to a re-evaluation. I’ll never forget the first talk we had after finding out Ava was diagnosed. To this day it remains the single greatest “pump up” speech I have ever heard. It was 1 a.m. when we received the news of Ava’s diagnosis; prior to this we had a strong idea of what was going on but no confirmation. At the time it was Ashley, Ava, myself, and my father-in-law in the room. The doctor asked me to step outside and gave me the worst news I had ever received. It took me a little while to get myself together, but I finally walked back into the room to share the information with Ashley and my father-in-law. Ashley and I chose to leave the room and discuss in the hall where Ava couldn’t see or hear us. At the time I was crying, she might have been also…emotions were high, and I was searching for the next step.

  Similar to a warrior prepared for battle, Ashley
spoke with clear and specific instructions.

  “Jason, tell our family the news, tell them that if they want to cry they can cry outside; once they see Ava there will be no tears. There will be nothing but positivity surrounding our daughter. Let’s go back inside…we will beat this.”

  Ashley led the charge emotionally. She learned right away the need to shift gears, to work hard—the AMRAP Mentality, in a way, came naturally to her. As Ava neared the end of her treatment, Ashley turned her why in a new direction. She had kept our family together, fighting as a unit against what life had thrown at us. Now, she was going to help other families do the same. To do that, she started a non-profit called Ava’s Kitchen, which raises money to help other families battling pediatric cancer.

  Ashley achieved a clarity of vision that I found truly inspiring. While we had taken different paths, and learned in our own ways, we ended up in the same place—the implementation of all levels of the AMRAP Mentality. The flexibility of this system means that it not only can it strike in many ways, it can also scale with any situation. You’ll find out more about this later in the book.

  Reader Exercise

  Mindfulness AMRAP – 10 minutes:

  Set a clock for ten minutes and start with a blank sheet of paper. Draw two large circles on the paper. Over the circle on the right, write “Out of my control.” Over the circle on the left, write “In my control.” Before the clock starts, identify an area in your life that may be causing you stress. Whether it is work, business, competing, relationship, etc. Then start the clock. For ten minutes write down what is in vs. out of your control in the respective circles. The out-of-control circle may fill up fast while the in-control circle may only have a few items. Don’t worry, that’s normal. The lesson is in the identification process. Once you are done, look at the lists and start to focus solely on what you can control. Let everything else go. You will be amazed at how different you will feel after reflecting on how much thought you place on things you have no control over. Once you stop worrying about things outside of your control you will unlock unbelievable potential previously unexplored.