He grabbed my hand and gently turned my face to his. “I’ll be here when you’re ready, okay? I won’t run away and leave you. I’ll be here for you. It’s okay to let me in, I’m not going anywhere.”
I wanted so bad to believe that, but I just couldn’t.
***
Aiden
She had been acting weird all morning. I knew that she was feeling down, which she had been since the new year. I wanted to help her, but I wasn’t sure how to.
“Hey,” I said firmly when I saw a frown go across her pretty face. I wanted to bring herself out of her mind. I knew firsthand how detrimental a mind can be. “What are you thinking so hard about over there?” I grasped her hand to remind her that I was still there with her, and she wasn’t alone.
In all honesty I had expected for her to brush off the question like she always did.
“Why do you do this? I mean this with me. Why do you care about me and go out of your way to do things for me? Especially when this whole thing started out with me blackmailing you. This whole thing was simply supposed to be more of a business transaction and now look at us. I mean, look at you and then look at me. It just . . . it just doesn’t make any sense.”
I couldn’t form a coherent sentence in my head at her words. She was acting as if I was too good for her. That certainly wasn’t the case. I just started to talk, letting words just fly out of my mouth.
“Aubry, I’ve never met someone like you before. You’re so strong, yet so gentle and real. You’re mean and feisty, yet you are the most caring person that I know. You’re so small and fragile, yet I’ve seen you knock out grown men. You’ve shown me something in these couple of months that I can’t even explain. Aubry, I care about you . . . and it’s not just for you, it’s for me too. I need you. I need to learn more about you and what you’ve been through. I need to learn from you. I see how strong you are despite everything that you’ve obviously been through. That’s how I want to be. I care about you because I need to. Please let me.”
Her face flushed scarlet as she looked at me. She looked completely and totally surprised at my words.
“I um . . . Thank you. Thank you for caring,” it was all she said.
I couldn’t hold back my sigh.
She side-eyed me uncomfortably and then just let it all out, “Okay . . . look, I’m not good at any of this stuff. I’ve never even had a friend before, and all my life, I’ve had to push away anything with emotions and feelings. But thank you, Aiden. Thank you for inviting me into your life, and in turn, your friends’s and family’s lives too. I’ve never seen or felt so much love before. I need to learn from you too. Not only the fighting stuff but also to be brave and let people in like you have. I mean, you have these amazing people around you who would fight the whole world for you. I had no idea that even existed before meeting you. It’s going to take a while for me to let you in and trust you because I’ve been taught that everyone leaves me eventually, but just know that I’m trying. It’s just that I have a lot of baggage that comes along with me. I’m afraid that when I start to unload it on you, you’re going to decide that it’s too much and leave me stranded to pick the pieces back up by myself. I promise that I really am trying. I’ve been conditioned my whole life to run away from people and feelings, so it truly will take time. Just . . . thank you for being patient with me.”
I parked my car, completely speechless at her words, but I also knew that if I didn’t say anything, I’d lose the open conversation barrier that we had created. I definitely didn’t want that to happen.
So, I just let my mouth speak once again. “I’ll be here when you’re ready, okay? I won’t run away and leave you. I’ll be here for you. It’s okay to let me in, I’m not going anywhere.”
I really hoped that she believed me. I needed her to believe me. I really did mean it.
“Okay, um . . . so, I’ll see you later then,” she said as she slid out of the truck practically running away.
I had to laugh at that. She really sucked at emotions. She was worse than me, and I’m a dude. It was endearing, though.
***
The bell rang signaling lunch time. I had been looking forward to it all day long and not for the food. I was excited to see Aubry for the first time since getting to school. I was completely pathetic; I couldn’t even go four hours without seeing her. It was absolutely ridiculous.
I stood at the entrance of the cafeteria, trying to decide on where to sit. I really wanted to sit with Aubry because the girl had apparently taken over my whole life, but I also didn’t want to overcrowd her. Would that be what she thought?
I stood to the side for several minutes trying to decide. I was pretty damn sure that I was turning into a girl! I would have never done any of that before Aubry, granted that I had never cared about anyone the way that I cared about Aubry.
Brandon seemingly made the decision for me when he sat at our regular lunch table. I made my way over to the table and sat down next to him. I made a note to ask Aubry later if she’d be okay with us sitting with her or not, because frankly, I really didn’t want to sit at the regular table anymore especially with how they had been acting since they all found out Bri and I were siblings.
Brandon and I had been conversing amongst ourselves when we had been interrupted by someone sitting in front of us heavily.
“I still can’t believe that Briana is your sister,” James, a big dopey football player said, gawking at Briana and Aubry’s table.
I rolled my eyes at him. I was not in the mood.
“So, I heard that you brought that Aubry girl to school today,” he said with a deep-seated smirk on his face.
I nodded and shrugged at his words. I wasn’t hiding the fact.
“I’ve also heard that y’all have been messing around for a while now. Is that true?”
I didn’t answer that question. I didn’t feel like dealing with it. It was none of their business.
“I guess the better question is . . . why? Why would you be screwing her?”
I still said nothing.
“I mean honestly, she’s frumpy and weird. Not to mention, she’s not even attractive. She’s tiny.” He paused for a second and raised his eyebrows to see if I had anything to say. I still didn’t. “She must be amazing in bed then, huh? Is she like a gymnast or something?”
I tightened my fists in my lap, wanting to beat his face in.
“I can only imagine what great things she could do to me then.” He closed his eyes and grunted slightly. “I guess I’m going to have to get a piece of that.”
Without thinking of what I was doing, I was suddenly in his face and yanked him out of his chair. “Don’t you ever even fucking look at her!” I yelled, gaining the attention of the whole cafeteria.
Brandon was up as well and put a hand on my shoulder. “Aiden, stop. That’s enough. You are going to get suspended, and your mom will kill you,” he said quietly.
I let go of James’s shirt and backed away slowly. He was right, James wasn’t worth me getting trouble. However, he needed to keep Aubry’s name out of his damn mouth.
“What? You don’t like it when I talk about her like that? You think she’s all yours or something?” he said, talking as if she was a piece of property rather than a person. Who did he think he was? “You should share her. Let all of us have a turn with her. You know, sharing is caring.”
At that fucked up statement, I almost lost it. I was shaking because I was so mad. I took a few steps forward so I could bash his brains in, but I was stopped when Aubry stepped in front of me.
“Move,” I demanded.
She didn’t budge. “Aiden, you need to stop. Calm down.”
“Do you know what he was saying about you? They were things I wouldn’t even repeat to you,” I told her, trying to justify my actions. I looked at James, and all I could feel was anger running through my body.
She grabbed my chin and made me look at her. “Hey, look at me. It’s okay, Aiden. Whatever the idiot
said about me are only words. I’m sure I’ve had worse things said about me. Calm down and let it go.”
“Mmm, what other things does that mouth do?” I heard James say, making my blood boil. “You know what, I can kind of see what he sees in you. You are somewhat attractive, and I can imagine what you look like with your clothes off.”
She sucked in a deep breath and gritted her teeth together in anger. I could tell that she wanted to let me go to beat him or go do it herself.
Instead, she grabbed my hand firmly in hers and dragged me with her to her table. “Why don’t y’all sit with us from now on, okay?”
She sat down in her seat and pulled me down with her, not letting go of my hand for rest of the lunch period.
Well, I guess that made my lunchtime eating spot decision easier for me.
***
We had been training at the gym for hours after school, and it was pretty dang late. Every time I said, “It was time to stop,” Aubry would claim that she needed more work. She certainly wasn’t “relenting” like she said she was going to.
“You were supposed to chill,” I told her with a frown. “Come on, we need to ice you down. It’s time to stop.”
She rolled her eyes but followed me into the training room. I studied her back with a frown when she lifted her shirt. The black, blue, and sickly green colors had not faded at all. I didn’t understand how she was so tough. It made me nauseous to see what she had to endure every day.
I sighed as I set the ice packs down on her.
“Aiden, what was your childhood like?” she asked nonchalantly.
The question caught me completely off guard. “Well, um . . . it was good for the most part, I guess. I can’t really remember a lot of it, to be honest. I lived with my mom and dad until my dad left when I was four years old.” I paused I didn’t like to think about the first time my dad relapsed; it was terrible. I could still remember the cries from my mother when she had to kick my dad out.
“Then my mom had to work a lot to support us. My grandma and grandpa had us a lot growing up, that’s why we’re all so close with Pawpaw. My uncle Johnny had me a lot too, that’s how I got into fighting. My uncle pretty much became my father after that. I trained here at the gym with him and T all the time.” I sighed; I really missed my uncle too.
“And then, when I turned twelve, my dad came back. That’s why there’s such a big age gap between Bri and Cece; they didn’t have Cece until he came back. Me and my dad became best friends once again. We worked on cars together, that was kind of ‘our thing’. I kept on fighting, and I stayed into cars with my dad . . . and then he died.” I finished the story quickly because it hurt to think about. His death really fucked me up.
Aubry looked like she was about to have a panic attack, but suddenly, the look was wiped off of her face, and she then grabbed my hand with a firm squeeze. She was my comfort, my rock.
I glanced down at her delicate little hands and smiled. The cut on her thumb and pointer finger from Ronnie had the stitches out, but still wasn’t completely healed. It looked a lot better, though. Her knuckles were pretty much healed from her first few weeks of training with just one bruise left. She was healing rather quickly.
We sat in silence for a little while longer with her hand in mine.
“Okay, I guess we can change and then go,” I finally said, even though I wanted to stay with her, but my mother would kill me if I stayed out too much longer.
She began walking out of the room when I grabbed her arm gently.
“Do I ever get to hear about your childhood?” I asked softly.
She smiled softly at me and nodded. “Someday, okay?” she promised.
That was good enough for me.
***
We both got into the truck, and I quickly turned the heater on. The temperatures were getting lower and lower. The news even said it would probably snow in the next few days. Aubry told me the directions to her house. It was on the nice-ish part of town, mostly middle-class families. It was over by where we used to live before my dad died. That was something I definitely didn’t want to think about again.
The car ride was silent, and I could tell Aubry was tired as she was lost in her own little world. That was part of what I liked about her so much. She seemed to just be able to forget wherever she was or who she is and just get lost or go to sleep. She always made me feel comfortable.
We made it to the neighborhood, and she had me pull over on one of the first streets. “My house is just up there, but my dad is asleep, and I don’t want to wake him.”
Her face looked nervous, and I was worried about her. I had a bad feeling. Was it something to do with her dad? Did he beat her? I knew she had many scars, but none were recent.
I wanted to ask, but I knew she wouldn’t tell me.
“Well okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, smiling at her.
“See you tomorrow, Aid.”
I watched her walked pretty far down the block and then I turned around to go home thinking of Aubry . . . always thinking of Aubry.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
I’m fine
Aubry
We had been training for far too long. In all honesty, I was simply stalling because I had truly no idea where the dude was going to drop me off. I was screwed.
When Aiden finally put his foot down at my stalling, I had to comply. I didn’t want to, but I had to. I forgot that he actually had a family and people who cared about where he was all night long.
I sat in the chair, feeling like crap. I was in pain from going way too hard during training. I was tired from the lack of sleep in my life. I was hungry from not eating more than a few scraps. I was exhausted.
I could feel his eyes on my back as he put the ice down. I knew that it looked pretty awful. When he circled back around to my face, his eyes held pity for me—pity and worry.
To distract him from the awfulness of my back, I spoke up unexpectedly, “Aiden, what was your childhood like?” In all honesty, I wasn’t sure what was going to come out of my mouth, and I was just as surprised as he was. Still, I was seriously curious.
I could tell that he wasn’t expecting the question and struggled for an answer for a second. “Well, um . . . it was good for the most part, I guess. I can’t really remember a lot of it, to be honest. I lived with my mom and dad until my dad left when I was four years old.” He got a haunted look on his face as he spoke, “Then my mom had to work a lot to support us. My grandma and grandpa had us a lot growing up, that’s why we’re all so close with Pawpaw. My uncle Johnny had me a lot too, that’s how I got into fighting. My uncle pretty much became my father after that. I trained here at the gym with him and T all the time.”
I swallowed harshly at his obvious distress. I felt so bad. The boy went through far too much. “And then . . . when I turned twelve, my dad came back. That’s why there’s such a big age gap between Bri and Cece; they didn’t have Cece until he came back. Me and my dad became best friends once again. We worked on cars together, that was kind of ‘our thing’. I kept on fighting, and I stayed into cars with my dad . . . and then he died.”
I sucked in a deep breath at the last line—“then he died”. I quickly pushed away my thoughts that wanted to berate me. I couldn’t do that right then. I quickly and firmly grabbed his hand in mine. I just wanted to give him some comfort.
He looked at my hands in his. He ran his fingers over mine. His smile was small, but it was real.
In that moment, I felt . . . I don’t even know what the feeling was, it was just good.
After a while, we finally got up. We both knew it was time to go. My nervousness returned with a vengeance; I still wasn’t sure what sure where I was going. However, the nervousness slightly dissipated when Aiden grasped my arm softly. It was weird, just his touch calmed me.
“Do I ever get to hear about your childhood?” he whispered hesitantly.
“Someday, okay?” I told him with a promise in my voice.
&nbs
p; I really did want him to know. I just wasn’t sure if he could handle it.
***
“Where to?” he asked as we settled into his truck.
The little park where I had been sleeping in came to mind. I told him the direction of the neighborhood near that park, and he nodded. He seemed to know where he was going.
The silent car ride was pretty comfortable, but I was overly nervous—nervous about sleeping in the cold, nervous about him dropping me off at some random place, nervous about him finding out about my predicament, and nervous about my whole life in general. I was a wreck as was my life.
When we got into the neighborhood, I told him to stop. I spouted off some BS about my dad being asleep. He bought it easily.
When I got out of the truck, we said our goodbyes and took off down the street slowly. He watched me for a few moments but turned around a short minute later.
I took that as my cue to turn around and make my way to the park to seek refuge in it.
I curled up in the tunnel tightly. My ribs hurt, my head hurt, my teeth were chattering, and I was exhausted.
The last thing that I truly remembered was thinking about how tired I was so very tired.
***
I woke up to a loud cackle. Did I really let myself fall all the way asleep?
What the hell was the matter with me?
I stayed perfectly still and stopped breathing, hoping that maybe whoever it was would go away. Maybe the person didn’t see me.
“I can’t believe that your dumbass stayed in the same place all night long!” a deep voice said, making me lose hope very quickly.
Still, I didn’t dare move. I just hoped that he wasn’t talking to me.
Every single bit of my hope was shattered when I looked to the end of the small tunnel that I was in. James, the stupid jock, was there, crouching down at the opening, smirking at me menacingly.
Fighting For Life Page 29