The Darkest Canyon

by Roberta Kagan

  “Sit,” the guard said, indicating a row of chairs, then she walked away.

  A half hour passed before a man wearing a clean, pressed SS uniform walked over to Hilde.

  “Good morning,” he said, his voice soft and his high German impeccable. “I’m Commandant Gunther Tamaschke. Welcome to Ravensbrück. You’re Hilde Dusel, am I correct?”

  “Yes.” She smiled shyly. Even though he was soft spoken, Tamaschke was an intimidating man.

  “Come into my office,” he said. She followed him into a beautifully decorated room, with a hand-carved wooden desk, a plush sofa, several matching chairs, and a large picture of the führer on the wall. As she stood in this man’s finely decorated office, Hilde felt a strong wave of inferiority. As she observed all the fine things, she was reminded of growing up in poverty. The man seemed so well educated. Something she was not.

  “Your fiancé spoke quite highly of you,” Tamaschke said, tapping a pencil on his desk. “He thinks you have what it takes to work under the SS. What do you think? Do you think so?”

  “Yes, Herr Commandant. I believe I do,” she stammered.

  “Are you of pure German blood? No unsavory ancestors in the mix that we might find if we start digging? A dirty Jew, or a Jehovah’s Witness? A filthy Gypsy, perhaps?”

  “No, nothing like that. I am pure.”

  “I didn’t think so. Axel would never have recommended you if there were a problem. And, frankly, you seem to be perfect for the job. But, of course, we must run the customary background check. However, don’t worry yourself too much. It’s routine.” He smiled a half smile, and she noticed that one of his eyes seemed to drift.

  Hilde nodded. The commandant was not an attractive man. His face was full, jowls hung from his cheeks. His eyes were small, dark, and deep set. His face was not chiseled like a Nordic god, as was the Aryan ideal. But his power gave him an air of authority that she found intriguing. Then he turned his gaze directly on her, and she felt her blood go cold. I have nothing to hide. Why am I afraid of him? she wondered. Then she stammered, “Of course, I understand.”

  “Well, I’ll see to it that all of that messy paperwork is taken care of as soon as possible.” He gave her a quick smile then walked over to the window and glanced outside. “Cold out there,” he said then added, “As you can see, we are under construction. Those men out there are slave laborers from Sachsenhausen. They’re lazy and slow, but at least we don’t have to pay them anything. But, unfortunately, they take their time in finishing a job. Therefore, I don’t expect the camp to be open until May or June. So, if all checks out all right, that is when you will start working.”

  “Excuse me, Herr Commandant. But is this a prison?”

  “It will be a prison camp, yes; that is correct. It is to be the first camp exclusively for women. For female enemies of the Reich, political prisoners, thieves, communists, Roma, Jews. A collection of the earth’s most abhorrent women. Quite a miserable crowd, don’t you think?” His voice was strong and authoritative. But now he was smiling at her in a way that made Hilde feel like she was a part of the staff already. Hilde was in awe of him. Her father had run out on her and her mother when Hilde was young. And she’d always longed for a father. This man, even though there was something under his calm surface that she found a little frightening, had the potential to be the powerful and respected father figure she’d always wished for. If he were her father, people would look at her as a force to be reckoned with. At that moment, Hilde decided that, if she could find a way to prove herself worthy, the staff at Ravensbrück might become the family she’d never had. And although this man’s lips were almost always curved into a scowl when he smiled at her she felt included, as if like he liked and accepted her.

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  “They certainly are.” He smiled again, but only half of his mouth curved, the other half remaining downcast. Then he went on to say, “So I must ask you once more, do you think you have a strong and firm hand, strong enough to handle prison inmates? They can be quite manipulative. You will find that they don’t appreciate that we are giving them food and shelter. Instead, they will try to make you pity them, so you will let them escape or give them more than they deserve. Extra food, that sort of thing. However, it is your job to make sure that they do not manipulate you or escape, at any cost. Do you understand me?”

  “Yes.” She nodded again.

  “And no matter what happens, you must always remember that these women you will be guarding are our enemies. They oppose the Reich, and they stand in the way of our vision of a better Germany. Especially the Jews. You will find that the Jews are the most manipulative of all. We intend to bring their children with them to the camp. I assume many of them will tell you that the children need your help. Don’t believe them; they want to make you soft. You must never trust them. It is imperative to your work for the fatherland that you never, never allow them to get close to you or to get under your skin.”

  “I will do as you instruct, Herr Commandant.”

  “That’s what I like to hear. You can go now. After you have passed the background check, you will receive a letter telling you when to report to work.”

  “Thank you, and I will look forward to hearing from you.”

  “Very good. I’ll have Helga show you out.”

  CHAPTER 7

  Berlin

  When Hilde returned to Berlin, she stopped at a café where she planned to have an early dinner. But before she placed her order, she took the most recent letter she’d received from Axel out of her purse and went to call him on the public pay phone.

  It took a while for the woman who answered to find Axel. But Hilde waited and continued to drop coins in the phone until finally he came on the line.

  “Axel?”

  “Hilde! How are you?”

  “Very good.”

  “The interview?”

  “I just got back.”

  “So? Tell me? How did it go?”

  She told him all about the interview in detail.

  “And once my background check is completed, I will receive a letter with my starting date.”

  “So you got the job?”

  “As long as my purity check comes back perfect, yes, I think I did.”

  “And, of course, it will.”

  “Of course,” she said.

  “That’s wonderful news. We must celebrate. Why don’t you make arrangements to come here and see me? You’ll have some time before you start your new job. Spend a couple of days? I miss you terribly,” Axel said.

  “I’m still working at the factory.”

  “Take the time off. Who cares now that you have this new job. The new job pays twice as much anyway.”

  “Well, I agree. But until I start at Ravensbrück, I will stay at my current job and earn as much as possible. But I will ask nicely if I can take a little time off to come and see you.”

  “That’s my girl. Very smart. We will need every penny to start our lives, once we are married.”

  “If I come to see you, where would I stay?”

  “With me, of course, silly. I have a roommate, but I will ask him if he can find some other accommodation while you’re here.”

  “But don’t you have to work?”

  “Of course, but I won’t take any night watch while you’re here. I’ll spend every night with you, adoring you.”

  “It has been a while . . .” Hilde said, wishing she were as enthusiastic as he was about spending the night with him.

  “Too long,” Axel whispered. “I think about you every day. I want to hold you in my arms. I long to kiss your lips again. Hilde, I yearn to feel myself inside of you . . .”

  “Axel!” She felt her face turn hot. She was in the middle of a crowded café, and although no one else could hear her conversation, she felt exposed.

  “Am I embarrassing you?”

  “Yes, actually, a little.”

  He laughed. “We are engaged. We are in love. No need to feel as
hamed.”

  “Yes, well, I have never talked about it so openly.”

  He laughed again. “How soon can you take off a few days from work?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll see if they will allow me to take off in a couple of weeks.”

  “Talk to your boss and let me know. Then I’ll make all the arrangements.”

  “I will. I’ll call you as soon as I have an idea if and when I can come.”

  “Good! And you’ll get a chance to see what working at a camp is like. I assume Ravensbrück won’t be much different from Buchenwald.”

  “Is it hard work?”

  “Sometimes. It’s a bit dirty; the Jews are filthy people by nature. We fight lice here all the time. And controlling them can get messy, if you know what I mean. It’s important that they never see a guard as weak. We must maintain our authority and keep them afraid all the time. Some of the men like it. They enjoy the power. For me, it’s just a job. I don’t much care for the Jews, anyway. But on the bright side, there is plenty to eat and drink. And we do have fun. Once the prisoners are secured away for the night, all of us guards have a few drinks and a few laughs. It’s not bad, not really.”

  “It doesn’t sound bad.”

  “And, of course, waking up beside you every day, my love, will be the most pleasant thing I will have experienced in a long time.”

  The operator broke into the call asking for more money.

  “There’s the operator. I don’t have any more change. I’d better hang up. But I’ll be in touch as soon as I have any news,” she said.

  “Goodbye and dream of me until we are together,” Axel said.

  Hilde hung up the phone and sat down at a table in the back of the café.

  “Can I help you?” A young, pretty waitress with long blonde braids asked.

  “Yes, I’d like an order of potato pancakes, please.”

  “Yes, Fräulein. Right away.”

  “Please make them as crispy as you can.”

  “Of course.”

  Hilde watched the sun set as she ate. I am happy about the job. But it’s bittersweet. I’ll miss Gretchen terribly.

  CHAPTER 8

  Gretchen’s Apartment, Berlin

  Rebecca stayed down in the cellar during the day. It was dark, and candles were hard to come by, so they used them sparingly. Many evenings Gretchen went downstairs to share a late dinner with Rebecca. However, they didn’t want to move Rebecca upstairs until she had papers.

  Gretchen brought the gold ring and necklace that Eli had left for her and Rebecca, to a man who she recalled had come to see her father right after he returned from being arrested. It was late at night when the man had come to her home. Her father thought Gretchen was asleep, so he never bothered to close the door to her bedroom. She wasn’t able to hear the entire conversation, but she had listened as closely as she could and had learned that the man’s name was Otto Brant. He had come to ask her father to join him in the resistance. Karl Schmidt, Gretchen’s father, had refused, using the excuse that he was afraid for his daughter. However, he wished Brant luck and promised never to reveal anything about his visit. Before Brant left, Gretchen had heard him tell her father that if he ever changed his mind he could find Brant at the tailor shop. “Look at you, Karl. They beat the living hell out of you. Your nose is broken. You’ve got a gash on your head the size of a canyon. Do you think they are done with you?”

  “I don’t know, Brant. But I can’t do anything. I can’t put my little girl at risk. I am going to follow my brother-in-law’s suggestion and join the army. That’s all I can do.”

  “If you change your mind, just go to the tailor shop and ask for me, Karl.”

  So when Gretchen needed papers for Rebecca, she remembered the conversation, and she went to find Otto Brant. At first, he was reluctant to speak to her. He denied everything. He denied that he was part of the resistance. He denied the visit with her father. He firmly denied all of it. But when Gretchen began to cry and told him that she was hiding a Jewish woman in her cellar, the short, slender Brant took a deep breath and invited Gretchen to follow him into the back room. The room smelled of leather. Old shoes, boots, handbags, and belts lay scattered around the room.

  “Sit,” Brant said, and Gretchen sat. “Where is your father?”

  She told him how her father had left for the army. He had done it because he thought it would help if he proved his allegiance to the party. “But he hates the party. You know that. You saw what they did to him when he tried to help the Jewish professors at the university where he worked.”

  “Yes, I saw him. They beat him badly. But I’ve seen them do worse.”

  “I’m sure. That’s why I need your help.”

  “Professor Schmidt, a solider? Oh!” He sighed, changing the subject. “Poor Karl. Have you heard from him?”

  “Once, last year. But not since.”

  “And, of course, you know that Hitler has his claws in Austria and in Poland.”

  “Yes, I know. He is a horrible man. He has stolen the rights from the Jews and anyone else he doesn’t think is fit to live. And . . . and . . . he is the reason my poor father is off, trying to be a soldier.” She felt tears beginning to form in her eyes. “Well.” She straightened her back, willing herself not to cry anymore. “I didn’t come here for your sympathy. I came for your help.”

  “What do you want?” Brant asked.

  “I told you I am hiding a young woman in my cellar. Two people can’t survive on the rations of one. Especially with the rations being as meager as they are. Anyway, the Jewish woman who I am hiding is blonde and looks very Aryan. So we’ve decided to have papers made for her, so she can get a job and a ration card. I need false papers. Can you help me?”

  “Papers? This is dangerous business.” Brant rubbed his chin.

  “Dying of starvation isn’t much less dangerous, is it?” Gretchen asked in a sarcastic tone.

  “You have your father’s wit.” Brant smiled at her.

  “Well, can you help us? Will you help us?”

  “Perhaps.”

  “I can pay you,” Gretchen said. “I have a gold ring and a gold necklace.

  A gentle smile came over Brant’s face. ‘I don’t want your money,” he said. “Of course, you do realize that this woman, the one who you want the papers for, will be taking an enormous risk.”

  “I do. She does too,” Gretchen said.

  Brant nodded. “I’ll do what I can,” he said and got up, showing Gretchen to the door.

  Weeks passed with no word from Brant. Gretchen was afraid that he’d been caught. There was nothing else they could do, so she and Rebecca did the best they could to survive on Gretchen’s measly rations and whatever was left of the food Hilde had given Gretchen as gifts. It wasn’t much, but at least they were alive. And then one day, almost a full month after Gretchen’s meeting with Brant, there was a knock on the door to her flat. She was just returning from work and wasn’t expecting anyone. A quick bolt of fear shot through her. In the back of her mind, she was always afraid that they’d been caught. But when she opened the door, it was Otto Brandt.

  “Can I come in?” he asked.

  She nodded. “Yes of course. Sit down, please. Let me make you a cup of tea.”

  “No, thank you,” he said. He sat down on a chair by the kitchen table and took several folded documents out of the breast pocket of his coat. “These papers belonged to a woman who lived in Bamberg, a small village in Bavaria. She died quietly in her home at twenty-six. From what I understand, she was a sickly girl and rarely left the house. Because she almost never went outside, no one really knew her in the neighborhood. After her death, her family desperately needed money so they sold these papers.”

  Gretchen took the papers and read the name aloud. “Eva Teichmann.”

  “Yes. That’s your Jewish friend’s new name,” Otto Brant said.

  “Thank you,” Gretchen said, gripping the papers tightly. “You have no idea what this means to us. I
can never express the extent of my gratitude in words.”

  Otto nodded. “I did this as a favor to your father. He was a good friend of mine. I knew him for many years. He wasn’t much of a resistant, always went with the flow. But he was a good man, a quiet man. Always stayed out of trouble.”

  “Are you sure I can’t get you a cup of tea or ersatz coffee?” Gretchen asked.

  “No, thank you again, but I must be going.”

  And then Otto left.

  Two days later, Rebecca went to the factory where Gretchen was employed to apply for work. She filled out her employment application under the name of Eva Teichmann. There were no openings, but the boss promised to keep her application on hand. Now, two weeks had passed since Brant had brought the papers and Rebecca still had no job. It had been over a month since Hilde’s last visit and all the food gifts she’d given Gretchen were gone. There was no extra money to purchase food on the black market. Gretchen and Rebecca talked things over and agreed that Rebecca must apply for her ration card. But they wished they could wait until she had found work. They were still afraid of Rebecca being discovered at the ration office where they might ask a lot of questions. It was difficult enough allowing Rebecca to go out and apply for work, hoping all the while that no one suspected the papers of being false.

  The night before Rebecca went to the factory, they ate the two last slices of bread and completely fabricated a story for Rebecca to use when anyone asked questions.

  “You will be Eva from now on,” Gretchen said. “Even in the apartment, when we are talking, I will call you Eva. That will help you get used to the name.”

  Gretchen described a christening. She made Eva memorize the steps. Then they found the name of a church in Bavaria where, if anyone asked, Eva would say she had been christened. It all sounded plausible. But if anything went wrong, Rebecca would be arrested. And because she had already said she was staying with Gretchen, the Gestapo would want to speak with Gretchen too. Both of them could easily end up in police custody. It was all an overwhelmingly terrifying plan. And because they were too afraid to go forward, they kept putting it off.