Party Hard

by David Petrie

  Upon his death, the Coin's Somno system would be forced into an auto-restart sequence before reconnecting to his sleeping brain to let him back into the game. How long it took to reestablish the link and log back in varied from person to person. For Farn, it always took around fifteen minutes. After that, the Coin would appear alive and well again at the last spawn point visited. Although, he would lose any progress he'd made during the night as well as any items he hadn’t stored in his virtual inventory.

  The Shield inside the cage raised one hand in victory while an elven man, wearing only a pair of shorts and a caster, ran into the cage to administer a few recovery spells. Half the crowd cheered while the other hurled curse words at the player. The victor exited the cage as a tall, attractive woman wearing a small breastplate and short leather skirt entered. The long, fluffy tail of a reynard swayed softly behind her, lifting the back of her skirt almost high enough to see where it connected at the base of her spine. A tall set of pointy, fox-like ears sat atop her head. The reynard race was the more popular of Noctem's two beastkin-themed avatar models that had been added to the game in the first expansion a few months after launch. They still weren't as common as human players, but they gave some much-needed diversity to the game. There were also several less-human races, but the system couldn't get the user's brain to sync with a body that was too far removed from what they were used to, which was probably why they only existed as the game's non-player characters. As far as users went, a cute pair of ears and a tail were as exotic as it got.

  "That was a decent match," announced the reynard woman. "Let's hear it for the victor, BadMatt69!" She arched an eyebrow in his direction. "Really? 69? How old are you? Thirteen?" she asked, getting a laugh from the crowd. "Okay, anyway, for this next match we're doing something a little different. We tried to say no to this, but what the hell, it will probably be pretty funny. So, without further adieu, I give you, MurderStorm!"

  A hulking man, who had apparently named himself MurderStorm, ducked as he entered the cage dressed in the tattered leather armor of a Rage class. The twisted horns of a ram on his head marked him as a faunus, the other beastkin race. He held a short but wide axe in one hand, his muscles twitching as his fingers curled around the grip. The crowd cheered as he approached the pretty reynard woman in the center, towering over her by at least a foot.

  "Wow, you're a big fella, huh? What're you doing after the fight? You like foxes?" She allowed her tail to brush against his leg.

  MurderStorm answered with an impolite grunt.

  "Okay then," she added in an awkward tone before making her second announcement. "And now, for our challenger, the Leaf that wouldn't take no for an answer, Kegan!" The crowd went quiet.

  A well-tanned, dark-eyed elf made his way out of the crowd at the gate and stepped into the cage. He wore a simple sleeveless top with a v-neck and a pair of wide flowing pants with several red and brown sashes wrapped around his waist, hanging to one side. His hair was styled with an asymmetrical cut, spiked up at an angle on top and long on one side. Streaks of maroon wove through his otherwise black locks which, on top of being Asian, made him look like a Korean pop star. None of that mattered now because the fact that all he carried was a bow and a handful of arrows made him look ridiculous in front of the massive Rage as he approached. Laughter burst out all around the cage as some of the crowd rushed to place last minute bets.

  Farnsworth turned to look at Max with one thumb hooked back at the Leaf in the cage.

  He responded with a hard to read smile as if he knew something that she didn't.

  She groaned and turned back to the cage.

  "Alright, everyone, no more bets." The tall reynard woman held out her hands, palms facing the crowd. "Combatants take your places." She pointed to two opposite corners of the cage. Kegan took his place in one where a faded circle on the floor marked his starting point. MurderStorm did the same on the other side. The Leaf shook out his arms and did some light stretching to limber up while the crowd’s laughter continued. MurderStorm just cracked his neck with an audible pop that could be heard over the noise. The reynard woman rushed to the gate as if she didn't want to get caught in the middle of what was about to happen. A bell rang as soon as she made her escape.

  Kegan nocked an arrow while holding the rest in his draw hand before making eye contact with his opponent. The Rage, being a class made for all-out attacks, wasted no time. He rushed forward, axe in front of him ready to block an arrow or two. Kegan let one fly, and as predicted, the Rage swatted it out of the air causing it to ricochet, hitting a spectator with a surprised yelp, having made the mistake of standing in the front.

  Kira snorted a laugh.

  With the first arrow deflected, MurderStorm should have been able to close the gap before Kegan could find time to fire again. He drew back his axe for a swing guaranteed to do maximum damage. He looked like he wasn't going to be satisfied unless he could cut the elf clean in half, but as soon as he moved the axe from in front of him, an arrow pierced his shoulder. He didn't seem to wonder how the elf had followed his first shot so quickly. If he had, he might have been able to come up with a better strategy, but honestly, Farn didn’t expect that level of thought from someone named MurderStorm. Instead, he kept going, since for his class, taking a couple arrows was probably an acceptable risk. But it wasn't a couple. Arrows pierced his body one after another at a speed unheard of. They hit in quick succession. Three, four, no, six. Farn almost couldn’t keep track.

  MurderStorm attempted to bring his axe back to block, but he had swung too far behind in preparation to attack. It took too long, leaving him helpless as Kegan flipped arrows from his draw hand onto the bowstring and fired in almost the same motion. It wasn't a skill or ability, but rather, it was sleight-of-hand, a trick that Kegan had somehow mastered.

  Finally, the Leaf stood with his hand empty as the Rage stumbled toward him, losing all momentum as the eight poison-tipped arrows that had pierced his skin did their work. Kegan stepped to the side, exiting his starting circle for the first time during the fight to make room for the falling brute. The lifeless corpse of MurderStorm slammed into the floor, arrows snapping underneath while a few pushed through his body like a pin cushion. Kegan then held out his hands and gave a little bow as if to say ‘ta-da.’

  Sparkling particles rose from the body on the floor as the reynard woman came back in. She looked confused like she had somehow missed the fight altogether. Which was possible, since the whole thing had taken less than ten seconds.

  Farn looked back at Max, who again gave the same annoying smile as before. She saw him glance at a page in his journal, probably checking the balance of his bank account that had just received his winnings. Then he led the party down to the cage entrance as Kegan was exiting to a mixture of boos, laughter, and curse words. He took one more bow just before stepping outside. More curse words were launched in his direction.

  "You're not making many friends here are you, Kegel?' asked Max in greeting.

  Kegan faked a laugh through a layer of sarcasm. "I get it; my name sounds like a groin exercise. That joke never gets old." He threw his bow over his shoulder and slung it across his body at an angle.

  "Have you ever known him to let a joke die when its time has passed?" Kira asked.

  "Repetition." Max held up a finger. "It's repetition that makes things funny."

  Kegan tilted his head and nodded as if seeing Max's point, but then turned to Kira and Ginger, ignoring him completely. "Anyway, how are you two? You're looking pretty as usual." He glanced to Farn with a smile. "Who's your friend?"

  "This is Farnsworth. She's working with us on this one," Max explained as the leaf shook her hand.

  Farn forced out a quick, "Nice to meet you."

  With introductions out of the way, they got down to business.

  "So, what's this mission all about?" Kegan asked.

  Ginger butted in, "Don't bother; it's apparently a big secret." She still looked irritated at the lack
of information.

  "Oh, okay." Kegan shrugged without a hint of curiosity. He must not have been bothered by it as much as she was.

  Farn gathered with the group close to Kira so her teleport could accommodate their larger number. She selected a destination and swiped down to activate the spell. That was when a loud creak struck the air, followed by several deafening cracks. The overcrowded platform shifted below Farn’s feet, dropping a few inches.

  She glanced at Kira in panic as the orange shell of the teleport spell began to form around them ever so slowly. Too slowly. Several more cracks sounded out along with a cacophony of screams from all around them as the platform gave way and fell into the river below.

  Chapter Nine

  Screams filled Max's ears as he took a deep breath and let out one of his own. He clung to the only thing within reach that might save him from the fall. The rest of the party did the same, each holding tight until the glowing shell of a teleport spell dispersed.

  "Everybody off NOW!" Kira cried in protest.

  Max let his voice trail off into surprised silence, his feet once again on solid ground. The central park in the city of Valain surrounded him. A few players that happened to be hanging around the teleport point made it their business to stop and stare. Something told him it had to do with the sudden screaming that had accompanied his party’s arrival. Although, it could also have been the fact that four high-level adventurers, including himself, were clinging to an uncomfortable-looking fairy as if their lives depended on it.

  "I'm so not kidding!" Kira continued as Max released his small savior, the others following his lead. "Whichever of you grabbed my ass is gonna die," she added, shoving at him and Kegan even after she was free.

  Max held his hands in front of him as if pleading, hoping to stop her long enough so he could explain. "Relax. I touched your butt earlier. So really, it's old news at this point."

  She did not relax. Instead, she wound up and threw a punch with all her strength. It impacted weakly against his shoulder, a frustrated growl percolating in her throat as her nostrils flared.

  "Okay, okay, I'm kidding. I'm pretty sure it wasn't me anyway." Max brushed off his shoulder, pretending that her attack had hurt.

  Farnsworth laughed at the exchange but stopped herself short, looking somewhat guilty. Like a cat that swallowed the canary. Max wondered if she had been the real transgressor of the butt-touching in question.

  Ginger stepped in to referee, "Okay, little one, if it makes you feel better you can touch his butt."

  Kira crossed her arms and stamped one foot. "I don't want to. His butt is full of farts."

  "Then it's settled," Ginger put an end to the dispute. "Go get some food and leave the adults to get things done," she commanded in a tone that was somehow kind and strict at the same time.

  Kira perked up at the mention of food and made her way back to the stands that she had visited earlier that night, this time buying a paper bag filled with some form of pastries. One thing about eating in a virtual world was that it wasn't possible to get full, a fact that Max had seen demonstrated numerous times as Kira gave new meaning to the word binge.

  Ginger watched the fairy. "That was easier than expected."

  "Food always works with her. She has a one-track mind," Max commented.

  "Wait, why were you touching her ass earlier?" asked Kegan, shoving up next to him.

  Ginger jumped on the subject as well, as if she had completely forgotten what she had said about being adults, "Yeah, you passed up an opportunity with me earlier, and now I hear you're running around groping her all night."

  Max held up his hands again in defense. "Woah, I wasn't groping her all night. I slapped her on the ass once tonight. Once! And it was strictly for comedic value."

  That was when Farn spoke up, looking confused, "I have to ask, are you two not a couple? Because I thought—"

  "Oh, God no!" Max cut her off. "You thought she and I were?"

  "Uh huh." Farn nodded.

  "Nooooooo, no, no, no, no. We're friends. Have been since elementary school. And let's just say, she's not my type." He avoided the full explanation.

  Kira returned a moment later with a danish hanging out of her mouth before handing the paper bag she had purchased to Farn, implying that there was one inside for everyone.

  The Shield took one and passed it along.

  "What’d I miss?" asked Kira, talking with her mouth full.

  "Nothing important," Max answered as he took the bag of pastries.

  Kira snatched it back. "You don't get one." She squinted at him as hard as she could.

  "Anyway, what class do we need for our last member?" Farn asked, reminding Max that they were still on a mission.

  Kira ceased her squinting but continued to look at Max to hear his answer.

  "I was thinking a Venom mage. I already messaged one before we got here."

  Farn nodded. "Great! Where do we need to go to meet them?"

  "Nowhere, he's right there." Max pointed to a young reynard in black robes sitting on a bench near the edge of the park engrossed in a book. "He wasn't busy, and he can teleport, so he came to meet us."

  "Oh," Farn sounded a little disappointed.

  "That kinda kills our recruitment montage," Kira commented while examining her danish as if trying to find the perfect bite.

  "Yeah, but what are you gonna do?” Max shrugged before calling out to the mage. "Hey, Corvin!"

  Corvin's tall black ears twitched upwards at the sound of his name. He lifted his head, his attention drawn away from the small, leather-bound book that he had been holding sideways, the inside of which held a screen running an emulator of a Sega Genesis. It was a third-party app that he had purchased a while back. His one good eye followed the sound of Max's voice, while his other hid behind a heavy cloth that wrapped diagonally around his head, covering almost half his face. A shaggy mop of black hair matched his tail and ears, and combined with his thick black robes, it gave him a rather dark presence. He slid the emulator into one of his inner pockets and stood up quietly. Despite his somber appearance, a smile showed on his face as he approached the party as if he was just happy to be there. "Hey, Max, thanks for the invite."

  "No probs. Thanks for meeting us."

  "Nice to see you too, Kira," the boy added.

  "Likewise," she chirped, rewarding him with a smile and a fresh pastry from the bag.

  Corvin took the danish and nibbled politely without saying anything more to the rest of the group. The mage had always been quiet, and considering he didn’t know anyone other than Max and Kira, his silence wasn’t a surprise.

  Max slapped a hand to the mage’s back, not wanting him to fade into the background like he usually did. “This guy here has taken down a number of Nightmares with us. So, don’t let the gentle face and fluffy ears fool you. He’s a badass through and through.”

  Corvin brushed pastry crumbs off his face, having been startled mid-bite by Max’s introduction. “I, ah, thanks.”

  “Glad to have you.” Kegan held out his hand to shake.

  The others shook the Venom's hand as well, passing their contact info along.

  Once it seemed like they were finished, Max cleared his throat to get everyone's attention. It ended up being louder than he had intended, which caused him to pause when everyone looked in his direction. He reached a hand back and scratched the back of his head. "Ahh, okay. This quest is gonna be a little different in that we will be the only party in Noctem to participate in it. Also, it will probably be the hardest that any of us have ever attempted. That being said, if anyone wants to change their mind, this might be your last chance." He glanced around as the group remained silent. "Okay then. Kira, will you do the honors?" He motioned to her as he finished his mediocre pep-talk.

  Kira nodded and swiped open her spell-craft menu.

  Corvin, the only other magic user, watched as she snapped the rows of glowing glyphs into alignment. His eyes widened as she selected a destinati
on that wasn't available to the public.

  Tendrils of orange light wove around Max and his party, enveloping them in silence as it blocked out the city beyond. Only the sound of nervous breathing reached his ears as the team's shared body heat raised the temperature inside, increasing the tension in the air along with it until finally, cool air rushed in. Particles of light vanished in an upwards sweep revealing the bridge of an airship. Sitting in the captain’s chair was Alastair.

  Gray steel and hardwood lined the floor, giving the craft a classy yet militaristic appearance. Most airships didn't have a crew since they just followed a preset schedule and path, but this one was different. Control stations were placed around the sides of the room with crew members bustling about them. A faunas stood with her hands on an old-style ship wheel in front of a gigantic window. Its panes consisted of circular sections riveted together, suggesting the nose of a World War II bomber. Two more crew, an elf and a human, sat at consoles behind her. The three were dressed in uniforms bearing patches with the Checkpoint logo. They must have been the ship’s main navigators. At the back of the bridge, Alastair had gained two Shields bracketing him as if they were his personal guards. He had also had changed into a long gray coat with a high collar and epaulets that fit him as if painstakingly tailored. The change made him looked like a vampiric version of a military general.