Awaken, Shadows of a Forgotten Past

by Marcia Maidana

  “I’m afraid you’re right. We have no evidence against her,” I said, “except for the fact that the poison had to be bought somewhere. This is a small town, inspector. Everybody knows everything that goes on. There aren’t many stores that sell household poison, and there is only one doctor who could prescribe a medical poison—Dr. Petersen.”

  “Yes, very good, miss. Very good, you seem well aware of the facts. When the results from the hospital come back, we will know for sure what we are dealing with,” responded Inspector Stanley. Under his scrutinizing gaze, I shivered when the phone rang.

  “It’s an attorney’s firm from New York City. They insist on speaking with Mrs. White,” Zaira informed, curiously. Inspector Stanley signaled for me to take the call.

  “This is Mr. Sterling’s personal secretary,” I said into the receiver. The man on the other end of the line explained that it was a confidential matter about Mr. Sterling’s will.

  “I handle all of his financial matters,” I added, and with that statement the lawyer’s concerns were settled.

  “The documents are finally in order. We are sorry that we were unable to finalize them last week, as we had agreed upon with Mrs. White.”

  “A will, you said?”

  “Yes, Mr. Alexander Sterling’s will.”

  “When were you first contacted on the matter?”

  “Mrs. White came to us a while ago. As Mr. Sterling’s only living cousin, she is the sole beneficiary of his fortune. Isn’t she?”

  I remembered the unusual trip which Mrs. White and Mr. Vines had taken to New York City when Alex had gone to England. It now fit perfectly.

  “Never mind that—the will is ready then?”

  “Yes, Mrs. White was to pick it up and have Mr. Sterling sign it in the presence of at least one witness.”

  “Of course, she was.” Mr. Vines would have served the purpose very well. “But I’m afraid Mr. Sterling is indisposed at the moment, and he’d like to settle the matter himself. Rest assured that he will return your call as soon as possible.” I wrote down the lawyer’s address and telephone number and replaced the receiver.

  “Well?” the inspector coaxed. Granny and Zaira looked at me with stunned eyes; they probably grasped the facts much more swiftly than the inspector.

  “As you might’ve deduced from my side of the conversation, I found you a motive. I’m sure that Mr. Sterling will confirm his ignorance regarding any recent will, especially one favoring Mrs. White.”

  Perhaps that’s what Mrs. White understood, when I said last night over the phone, “I know what you’ve done, and I’m coming to settle the debt.” She must have thought I had discovered her attempt to inherit Alex’s fortune. She would’ve had Alex sign it when the poison made him incoherent. To her disappointment, the will took longer than expected to be completed. A cold sensation filled my body, realizing that she was timing Alex’s death to the last minute. How much evil was part of this world? I hoped I would never find out; I had had more than my fair share already.

  Inspector Stanley rubbed his hand on his chin, thinking. “Hmm, it seems too good to be true.” He pressed a pen in all eagerness, scribbling information in his notebook. “We’ll have a talk with the attorney’s office, and we’ll track down Dr. Petersen. Of course, we will have to speak to Mr. Sterling as soon as he can.”

  “Certainly—as soon as he is able to do so.”

  “Very well, then.” Inspector Stanley’s inquisitive eyes observed us one last time before setting off to find Mrs. White and Mr. Vines. The officers were left behind to search their rooms.

  “Are you doing all right, child?” asked Granny, observing the weariness on my face.

  “It’s been a long night…” A long night of twenty-three years of recovered memories.

  “Why don’t you rest for a while,” Zaira suggested, compassionately. “I’m afraid Dr. Ferns will have to attend to you if you keep going like this.”

  “I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I want to be with Alex. Hopefully he’ll wake up soon.”

  “I’m sure he will. Don’t worry so much. He is doing fine,” Zaira comforted. “You go then, we’ll prepare breakfast.”

  “Yes, a must after such a stressful, sleepless night,” Granny added, adjusting her veil. “We need to restore our energy.”

  “I agree. I’ll be in his room.”

  I found Dr. Ferns sitting by the window, a peaceful look on his face. “He is much better.” The doctor sighed.

  “I’m so relieved. Thank you. Zaira is working on breakfast, please, do have something to eat.”

  “Don’t mind if I do.” He withdrew into the hall, humming happily beneath his breath.

  I stood by Alex’s side, my fingers intertwined with his. A flicker of light appeared underneath Alex’s long, dark eyelashes. A faint smile formed on his lips, expanding to his eyes. Our gaze met with a strong connection. The oneness that once had been ours had returned. All our experiences, our happiness and sufferings were all there in our gaze. There were no secrets, no hesitations, we knew who we were.

  “Hello, general, about time you came back to me.”

  “Hello, my lady,” he replied, faintly.

  “You haven’t called me that in a long time.” I placed his weak hand on my face.

  “I know, a very long time.”

  “I’m glad you’re back.”

  “You were the one who left me, twice. First in the New Forest and then yesterday.” Each word he spoke was filled with deep emotion.

  “You know.”

  “So do you.”

  “Yes, I know everything. I love you, Alex.” I stood over him to kiss his cheek. He pulled me into his weak arms. I crawled into the bed beside him.

  “Don’t say anything. Let me just enjoy this moment.” He held me tight. I closed my eyes; all the flaws of time vanished, and we were still the same.

  26

  ~ Clear Reality ~

  Alex was eager to discover how I knew the truth. He was also most anxious to recover from his illness and move on, but his body was slower than his mind to comply. Knowing that the events behind my death would agitate him, even more so after learning how he had been poisoned, I insisted that we waited until that evening to exchange our experiences. Not having a choice, Alex had agreed to repose and not ask any questions. The day, almost as if in compliance with him, had gone rather quickly.

  After supper, a cab collected Granny and Dr. Ferns to drive them back to town. Mr. Snider locked up the front gates and retired to his room. Zaira prepared the guest room for her and me to stay in.

  “You took forever. Where were you?” Alex asked from his bed as I entered his room.

  “It wasn’t that long. You’re very impatient, general.”

  “After almost twenty years of waiting, I can be a little impatient, my lady.” He patted down the blanket around him. “I can’t stay in bed one more minute.”

  I laughed. “You better stop complaining. Dr. Ferns said you are to have absolute rest, and that’s all there is to it.” I knelt on the bed, facing him.

  “Florence, I can’t wait any longer. Tell me, how do you know?” His pleading eyes unveiled the profundity of his curiosity, and the depth of all those years of suffering, of waiting.

  The first thing I told him was Mrs. White’s elaborate story about his and my past. How she had me believe that Alex had killed my father and the nanny had gone into exile to save my life. I also disclosed how Mrs. White had used the pictures to back up her lies.

  “Alex, I’m so sorry I believed that woman instead of even giving you a chance to explain. But after you hear me out, perhaps you’ll agree that it turned out for the best that way.”

  I then explained my encounter with Lucca, my journey back in time, and the truth behind my death.

  With deep disappointment in his voice Alex interrupted me and said, “I knew that Sunny must’ve been scared by something. I knew it. How could I have been so blind?” He shook his head vigorously.

&nbs
p; “Alex, please. Don’t blame yourself—there were things we didn’t know nor could’ve ever imagined.”

  “I should’ve known—I should have.”

  “Maybe now is not the right time for this…we can finish our discussion later.”

  “No, I’m sorry, Florence. Please, keep going. I need to know.”

  I observed his countenance for an instant. “All right, but if it agitates you, we’ll leave it for another time.”

  Alex nodded.

  Not wanting to overwhelm him, I only shared parts of the memory I had regained of Bransen, and of the chance to live again.

  “I don’t know what to say. I’m as stunned as the first time I saw you here at Oak’s Place. I’m stunned and grateful. Things could have been so much different. We could have been separated forever,” reflected Alex.

  “But we are together, that’s all that matters,” I reassured, and finally, I explained my return to the monastery and my confrontation with Mrs. White and Mr. Vines at Oak’s Place. Alex’s expression filled with many different emotions as he listened in silence but remained calm.

  “I was so lost without you…and I allowed that wretched woman to take advantage of me, to manipulate my emotions—I was such a fool.”

  “Alex, she was obsessed, or perhaps even in love with you.”

  “No, love doesn’t do the unspeakable things she did. She only loved one person—herself.”

  “I agree, yet her evil character is beyond my comprehension. She played all of us with perfect skills and determination.” Was she mentally ill or brilliantly dangerous? I might never know.

  Alex shook his head in regret. “Please forgive me, I can’t believe I brought her to Forte Radici, and I didn’t listen to you.”

  “Alex, hush—we have wasted enough time on her.”

  Alex took my hands into his. “Florence, tell me, am I still dreaming? Is this really happening?”

  I leaned forward and kissed his lips. “You are not dreaming, general, this is clear reality. But what is all of this about dreaming?”

  “I had a dream.”

  “When?”

  “I’m not sure…sometime when I was unconscious. It was after you got here, because I remember hearing your voice and Dr. Ferns’s.”

  “Well then. Go on, tell me.”

  “It was more than a dream, I think. It was as if I was actually there, but I knew I was in bed. I never lost awareness of my present circumstances.”

  “I think I know what you mean.”

  Alex reached for a strand of my hair. “Your hair is much shorter than it used to be.”

  “Shorter is easier to handle. I don’t have Mrs. Allerton to keep it under control.”

  Alex’s countenance filled with tenderness.

  “In my dream, I saw you standing on the banks of a clear river, dressed like you used to back in the New Forest. I stood on the other side of the river and couldn’t get to you. You walked straight into the water, heading toward me, and went completely under. After a while, you started to emerge, dressed like you do now. We embraced and at that moment, even though I was very aware that it was a dream, I knew it was you, my lady.”

  “The end from the beginning and the beginning from the end,” I stammered, acknowledging that that was our story. “It is hard to believe. I don’t understand it all, but I’m so grateful to be with you again.”

  “After Mrs. White lied to you, you left in such a rage that I was sure you would hate me forever. I thought she told you that I believed you to be my deceased wife, which I did, that I was insane, and that I would never love you for who you were. I thought you would never come back, you would never understand, and I couldn’t change my past nor my feelings for her, for you. I didn’t want to live anymore. I was ready to let my life slip away, then I heard your voice speaking to the doctor. You were here. You didn’t abandon me. I felt a great peace in my heart, and then I had the dream. The dream empowered my soul to fight for my life, to come back to you, because I knew it was you, my lady.”

  “Yes lieutenant, I’m your lady.”

  Alex laughed. It was so good to hear him laugh again. “I hated it when you called me lieutenant.”

  “I know, that’s why I did, lieutenant.” I grinned. “Life back then was so different. I think I like this modern time better.”

  “I haven’t thought much about that. Yes, I guess it was different. After I lost you and our baby, everything became the same to me. I stopped paying attention to society’s evolution. I lived one day at a time, hoping that I wouldn’t have many to live. I missed you, Florence.”

  “Alex, I love you.” I bent forward and kissed his cheek.

  “It’s so wonderful to look into your eyes and see you—to know that you know who you are and who I am.”

  “It is.”

  “Do you remember the first day you came here?”

  “How can I forget?”

  “You called before you came.”

  “Yes, I spoke with Zaira. You know, that reminds me of the reputation you have around here—no one in town likes you—I wonder why.” I smiled widely. Alex frowned. “Anyway, it was good that Zaira was polite over the phone. Otherwise I might not have come—there are too many infamous rumors circulating about Oak’s Place.”

  “People are funny that way. When I first came to live here, I got invited to many events, and because I turned them all down, the rumors began.”

  “It’s ridiculous.”

  “When you called that morning and Zaira answered the phone, I was in the kitchen and heard her repeat ‘Florence Contini’ as she wrote down your name to pass it on to Mrs. White.”

  “Where was Mrs. White?”

  “Out in the grounds somewhere.”

  “I was so lucky not to talk to her. She would’ve discouraged me from coming once she knew my name.”

  “Yes, we were lucky indeed. Florence, that day I heard your name for the first time after so many years, and I was shocked with fear, excitement, confusion, among many other emotions. I remember standing in the same spot in the kitchen staring at the lifeless fireplace for what it seemed forever. I will never forget that day because it was the day when life came back to my soul.”

  “I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been for you. For me it was a constant torture, because even though my mind didn’t remember the past, my heart did. I wanted so desperately to be with you but propriety and reason, and then lies, kept us apart. How terrible all the things that we had to go through—and all we wanted was to love each other.”

  I saw a twinkle in his eyes. “I agree with that completely,” he said.

  I shook my head, grateful that he was transforming back into the man I had always loved. The man who enjoyed teasing me, who enjoyed taking care of me, the man who fully completed me.

  Perhaps he read it on the expression in my face, but Alex understood my thoughts. He said, “I was locked up in a cocoon all these many years, wrapping myself with layers of resentment and pain. Now, I’m finally free from the walls that kept me a prisoner. I think I’ve emerged back into the real world much stronger and able to experience life on a higher level.”

  “You have no idea how much all of that means to me. I was so afraid to lose you…again.”

  Alex caressed my chin and said, “You will never lose me again, unless you want to.”

  “That will depend on how well you behave, lieutenant.”

  “You are very spoiled, miss.” He chuckled.

  “Maybe…I do have one request.”

  “And what is that, Miss Contini?”

  “That we enjoy the time we’ve been given to be together,” I answered, reality still sinking in.

  “That’s not going to be a problem.” He smiled, the same provocative smile he had twenty years ago.

  “I don’t want to know what you are thinking,” I teased.

  “I will tell you anyway, as soon as I recover,” he said and winked at me. “But for now, you should know that you make a fearful enemy
.” Alex pointed towards a drawer in his dresser. “Open it. You’ll find something there that belongs to you, and never again throw it at me. It cost a fortune, don’t you remember?”

  “I promise it will never leave my finger again, general.” I placed my wedding ring on my finger, where it would forever remain.

  “Oh, I see that I’m worthy of general now.”

  “I never said otherwise,” I responded. His countenance radiated a profound love as his eyes dwelt on me for a long while. I lay by his side, resting my head on his chest.

  “Crazy or not, I always knew it was you—Florence, remember when I went back to England?”

  “Yes. You were much healthier when you returned—I understand why now—Mrs. White wasn’t there to poison you.”

  “Yes, I understand it now too.”

  “Your trip was so unexpected. Why did you go?”

  “I did the unthinkable…” His arms tightened around my body, and he kissed my forehead. “I was going insane. I couldn’t understand what was happening. You were her, yet that was impossible. I saw you die…I buried you, Florence. But here you were, the same young woman I lost twenty years ago, the same beauty, the same softness, and this…” Alex touched my bracelet. “I buried it with you.”

  “Yes, I know. But what did you do?”

  “I had your grave dug up, your coffin taken out and opened.” His words came out fast.

  I gasped. “You did what?”

  “I can hardly believe it myself. But I had to know if I was losing my mind.”

  “Well, what did you find?”

  “Absolutely nothing. It was empty. Yet, there was no evidence of foul play or anything of that sort. Scotland Yard was there through it all. But, of course, it was empty—I now know why.”