Declan + Coraline

by J. J. McAvoy

  DECLAN

  She hadn’t said much as we drove to St. Peters. Her gaze was transfixed on the window as she focused on anything else but me. I preferred it that way. She had no idea what this meant…how much of a risk I was taking. But I knew myself well enough to know that I couldn’t…I wouldn’t just say goodbye and let someone else be with her. The thought made my blood boil.

  Parking next to Liam’s car, I stepped out and walked around to her side and opened the door for her. She stepped out gracefully and took my hand. I tried to lead her into the church but she held me still in front of her.

  “Cora?” I looked down at her.

  “This was the church my parents attended.” She looked up at me. “They got married here. Before I go in with you, I need to know if we are…if we’re serious now. I need to know that this isn’t just a fling or fun anymore.”

  She had no idea how serious this was.

  “Your mine, Coraline. I’m not letting go until you tell me to, and only when you tell me to,” I whispered as I kissed her forehead.

  “Don’t let me go.” She smiled at me, her brown eyes shining as the sunlight shifted.

  I hope she still felt that way later. Squeezing her hand, I nodded as I led her forward. Two of our family guards at the door glanced at her and then at me before they opened the doors for us.

  My heart was racing but I couldn’t let anyone know that. The church was packed with Irishmen, both young and old, and their grandmothers too, and I walked in, hand in hand with her, right to the front pew with the rest of my family.

  Liam, who sat on the end, was the first to see me. His eyes widened, as they looked at Coraline, and then at me.

  He stood up and stepped out, allowing us to step inside. Sedric was standing right there, his eyes as cold as ice. Evelyn stood on his other side, followed by Neal and Olivia. I sat down next to him as Evelyn waved and offered Coraline a slight smile. Coraline nervously returned it before she reached for the booklet in front of us.

  “Now or later?” Sedric whispered beside me.

  I rose with everyone as the priest came in. “Later.”

  He nodded and turned his attention to the front. I, on the other hand, turned slightly to watch as a few people pointed to us and whispered…if the Irish were anything, it wasn’t discrete. At least Olivia’s grandparents were both Irish, it was why her parents understood our family so well. But by walking Coraline to the front row and allowing her to sit down, I had basically just announced that she was mine…she was family. I had brought a complete outsider into our world, and as calm as Sedric was on the outside, I could tell he was fuming.

  One of the reasons we came to church wasn’t just because it made Evelyn happy, it was for the clan. We wore our thousand dollar suits and drove our expensive cars here to prove that we were able to take care of each other and them. We were the standard, the hope, and the law. Everything we did needed to either make us richer or make us stronger for everyone. But having Coraline just made me happy.

  “Are you okay?” she leaned in and whispered, still holding on to the book.

  “I’m fine.”

  For now.

  But by the time mass ended I could feel my heart beginning to race as Liam stepped out. I followed him while holding onto Coraline’s hand. Sedric and Evelyn walked out of the church first, and the rest of followed. When we were in the lobby area, Evelyn turned back.

  “Hi, I’m Evelyn.” She hugged her.

  “Hi.” Coraline giggled as she hugged her back. “I’m Coraline.”

  “Come, dear, Olivia and I would like to chat with you for a moment. We heard that you stole our Declan for a whole week.”

  She looked to me and I nodded and smiled as I kissed her cheek.

  “I’m heading to the restroom, I’ll see you in a few,” I said to her and Evelyn’s eyebrow raised at me. I kissed her cheek. “Please watch out for her.”

  She nodded to me and wrapped her arm around Coraline’s shoulders.

  It was only when they were far away from me that I turned to Sedric who was already walking towards the restroom. Liam and Neal waited for me to follow. I already knew what I was going to say…I just needed to be bold enough say it to the Ceann na Conairte. He wouldn’t kill me…I knew that. But her…that was a whole different story.

  The moment I got into the bathroom, the back of his fist hit me right across the face.

  “Have you lost your goddamn mind?!” he sneered at me while I wiped the blood from my lip.

  “Sedric—”

  “The very first words out of your mouth should be an apology, not my name, boy.”

  Just say it.

  I shook my head. “I’m not apologizing.”

  “Declan!” Liam grabbed ahold of me but I brushed him off.

  “For eighteen years I have been your son, Sedric. Never once have I asked for anything. I have dedicated my life to you, to my cousins, to our family! I have lied. I have stolen. I have killed and tortured, all for the sake of this goddamn family!”

  “You have done no more than I, or Liam, or Neal, or anyone else in this family!” he roared, but I didn’t back down. I couldn’t.

  “Well, now I’m asking for something. I’m asking for her. I want her! After just one week. Yes, call me a fool, smack me again if you’d like, do whatever you wish to me, but let me have this one thing. Dad…please just let me just have this one thing,” I begged.

  His fist clenched and he shook his head. “You’ve already made your choice…in front of the whole fucking world at that. But you’re fooling yourself if you think I have power here. It’s now in her hands. When she finds out what you are, what we are, and she walks away from you, you will have to be the one that puts a bullet in her skull. Or were you hoping that she would never find out.”

  “I just need time…”

  “For what? For her to love you? Do you think she can love you enough to forget that you’re a murderer? It—”

  “Evelyn did it for you!” I snapped, knowing that I was pushing my limits. “She was just like Coraline once upon a time, and she stayed by your side.”

  “And there are days when I wish she hadn’t. If you really care about her, let her go, Declan. Let her go before we hurt her.”

  “I’m too selfish for that.”

  His jaw clenched. “Tell her. Sooner rather than later so I’ll have less of a mess to clean up.”

  He brushed past me on his way out, and when he was gone, I took a deep breath. Neal patted my shoulder before leaving as well. Liam and I were the only ones left. Walking over to the sink, I grabbed a handful of paper towels and turned on the water.

  “Just say it,” I said to him as I dabbed at my lip.

  “Say what?” He placed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the door.

  “What you’re thinking. I’m insane, right?”

  “That wasn’t what I was thinking.”

  “What then?”

  “I might end up marrying an Italian. You’re with a black girl. I was thinking, ‘when did we become so progressive?’ ”

  Smiling, I gave up and threw the towels into the bin as I looked back at my reflection.

  “You think she’ll stay?”

  “For your sake, I hope she does.”

  “Why? Aren’t you all about marrying Irish?”

  He shrugged. “Like you said, for eighteen years you’ve asked for nothing, except her. Dad’s wrong, you’ve done more than I have. While I was playing around in college you were studying your ass off in computer sciences. Why? Because you thought it would help the family if we had a computer genius on the inside. You have always thought of the family before anything else, even yourself. Now all you want is a woman? I don’t care if she’s black, purple, green, Irish or not. You should have what you want.”

  “Thank you.” That was all I could say.

  He nodded and turned to leave but stopped. “Just tell me, why?”

  “She takes away the nightmares. And for the first ti
me in eighteen years I can dream again. She makes me smile a thousand times a day and laugh ten times as much.”

  “I’m jealous.” He smirked.

  “I hope you won’t always be.”

  “When are you going to tell her?”

  I paused for a second thinking.

  “On our third date. I want one more normal day as just Declan.”

  Don’t let go of me, Coraline.

  TEN

  “I have not broken your heart - you have broken it; and in breaking it, you have broken mine.”

  ―Emily Brontë

  CORALINE

  He had asked me to meet him at the same diner we first had coffee in. And I, being the anxious wreck that I was, sped through the rain, just so that I could get there ten minutes early. But much to my dismay, when I got there I could see him already sitting at the window.

  The rain poured down and I was under my red umbrella as I made a mad dash from the parking lot to the steps. I was shocked that he hadn’t noticed me yet. He was usually always aware of his surroundings. I waved, but he still didn’t notice me. He leaned back against the booth of the chair and stared intently at the table. Even as the waitress came over to him, he still didn’t move or speak. He was like stone. Walking up the stairs, the bell above the door rung as I entered, and I closed the umbrella and shook the water off of myself. But he still didn’t look up. I could see now he was staring at a watch in his hands…something was wrong.

  “Declan?”

  He blinked a few times and frowned as he glanced up at me and then at his watch.

  “You’re early.”

  “Do you want me to leave and come back?” I laughed nervously.

  “No.” He shook his head and stood up as I slid in across from him.

  “Why did you choose here?”

  “You don’t like it?” He paused before he could sit down. “We can go somewhere else if you like.”

  “Declan, it’s fine. It was just a question. What’s the matter with you?” I asked him.

  He sighed and finally sat down. Brushing his hands through his hair he looked up at me before looking away. “I need to tell you something and I don’t want to.”

  “Okay…”

  “I don’t want to because I’m afraid you’ll run.”

  “Let me guess, you’re a vampire,” I joked, but he didn’t crack a smile. “Declan?” I asked, worried now.

  He waved over a waitress and said, “I want everyone out, now.”

  She nodded quickly as she moved over to the other customers, who each gathered their things and left. More than a few of them were disgruntled, but no one could do anything about it as she ushered them out into the rain.

  “Do you own the place? You can’t just—”

  “Coraline.” He sighed. “I don’t own the diner, but I do own this neighborhood. They know enough to not argue.”

  “Okay, you’re scaring me now,” I said softly as he took my hand.

  “Ask me why they left?” He frowned squeezing my hand gently.

  For some reason I didn’t want to.

  “Coraline, ask me.”

  “Why…why did they leave?”

  “Because I’m a Callahan, and going against me could cost them their lives.”

  “What—”

  “You were born here, Coraline. You must have heard the stories. The Irish mob owns Chicago. All the drugs and the murders stems from one crime family.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “Declan, what are you saying? Your family has done so much for this city. New playgrounds, rebuilding hospitals, donating food–”

  “Just for our image. So that people like you could never believe that it was us. So that you would never think that the same people feeding bread to the homeless are the very ones who are giving them the best heroin at bottom dollar prices.”

  “Declan, this isn’t funny.” I pulled my hand away from his.

  He stared down at his empty hands and closed them into fists before he looked up at me. “When we were down in Cancun, the day you went shopping, I killed a man by the name of Emilio Guerra—No, I tortured and killed him for stealing cocaine from us, and selling it to a gang called the Seven Bloods of Southbend. Otis is part of that gang. I met you in the hospital that day because I went there to get information from him.”

  My heart was beating so quickly, as the blood rushed to my head, and everything started to spin. I slid out of the booth slowly. Knocking my umbrella against the ground, I stumbled forward.

  He grabbed on to me. “Coraline—”

  “Don’t touch me!” I pushed him away as hard as I could. I hadn’t realized that I was crying until I tried to look at him and he was just a blur. “How could you do this?”

  “Coraline—”

  “No! You don’t come in, sweep a girl off her feet and then, when she’s falling for you, tell her that you’re not only part of the mafia but that you’re also a fucking murderer!” I screamed at him, still unable to believe any of it.

  But it made sense.

  The money.

  The guards he had in Cancun.

  The way everyone looked at us when we were at church. I’d thought it was me. But it was him. It all made sense.

  “What happens to me?” I froze as my eyes widened. “You just told me the biggest secret in your family closet, so what happens to me?”

  “I would never hurt you, Cora,” he said as he took another step towards me. I stepped back.

  “But you’re not in charge.” My hand went to head as I tried to stop the world from spinning. “When we were in Cancun, you said you needed to do an errand for your uncle…your uncle who you went into the bathroom with you yesterday, and you came back with a cut on your lip. You said you’d broken up a fight between your cousins. That was a lie, wasn’t it?”

  He nodded.

  “He hit you because of me. He’s the one who’s in charge.”

  Again he nodded.

  “What did he say? What happens to me?”

  He didn’t speak.

  “Declan!”

  “He told me that you would walk away, and that when that happens he can never trust you.”

  I laughed just to stop myself from crying. My hand covered my mouth as I backed away from him.

  “Coraline, I’d kill myself before I ever hurt you.”

  “And that would stop him? He’s the head of the mafia; if you don’t kill me ,I’m sure he’ll find someone else. So my options are to be with you or die?”

  He closed his eyes and nodded as though it pained him.

  “You know, when I met you. I thought I was that I was the luckiest girl in the world. I thought that there was no way a guy like you could be interested in me. Oh my God…I must have looked so dumb.” I walked to the door. “I don’t know what will happen to me tomorrow, I just know that I can’t look at you today.” I ran out of the diner and into the rain. I didn’t care that my clothes were almost instantly drenched, I just needed to get away from him.

  “Coraline, please!” he yelled as he chased after me, but I got into my car as quickly as I could. My hands were shaking as I tried to put the key into the ignition.

  “Coraline! Coraline, don’t run. Please don’t run away from me again.” He banged on my window and I made sure all my doors were locked.

  “Coraline, I love you!” he yelled and I paused as I looked back up at him

  He was completely soaked in the rain that was now coming down even harder. Like a hail of bullets my mind mocked.

  He kept looking at me….begging me to open the door.

  “I know you’re scared, I would be too. But you know me, the real me. For a second remember…just remember how amazing it felt to hold on to each other. To make love to each other. Remember that and trust me enough to come back. Give me a chance, please. I will never hurt you.”

  The tears in my eyes burned as I shook my head, even though my hand reached for the door handle.

  I didn’t know him.

 
He was a liar.

  “Please stay away from me,” I replied as I drove away from him and allowed myself to cry.

  DECLAN

  I sat in the diner for three hours hoping she would come back.

  She didn’t.

  So I drove to the bar where Liam was waiting. The place was empty when I got there, with the exception of Liam who sat at the bar with an unopened bottle of brandy in front of him.

  “You’re going to need your own,” I told him as I reached for the bottle and grabbed a glass from behind the counter.

  “Someone’s going to have to drive your sorry ass home,” he whispered drinking water instead.

  “I thought brothers never let brothers drink alone.” I poured a shot and knocked it back, savoring the way it burned before I poured myself another.

  “I make exceptions for the heartbroken.”

  I tried to smile. “I’m not heartbroken. She meant nothing. I mean how could she? We didn’t even know each other for that long.”

  He glanced around the bar, then at me. “Who are you trying to feed that bullshit to? I don’t buy that and neither do you.”

  “I want to believe it though.” Then it wouldn’t hurt like this. “Why am I like this?”

  “Mom always said when Callahan men fall for a woman, we fall hard and with no reservations.”

  “She’s right again.” I smiled as I drank.

  “She’s always right. It’s annoying, isn’t it?” He shook his head.

  I stared into my glass and took a deep breath. “You remember when you said to stay away from good girls?”

  “Don’t start listening to me now.”

  I snorted. “But you were wrong. They don’t break us. We break us. By hurting them, we break us.”

  “Declan—”

  “He’s going to kill her isn’t he? Even if I don’t do it he will make sure she dies. He will never trust an outsider enough to let them know our secret.”

  “Then don’t give up on her.”

  I shook my head. He hadn’t seen the way she looked at me. Like I was monster…and I was.

  “This is too much. She’s scared and I don’t want to be selfish any more than I already have been.”

  Liam patted my shoulder and grinned. “Always be selfish, that’s my motto.”