by GG Anderson
I pasted on a smile. “Nothing, just–nothing.”
“Bullshit.” He dropped his pen. “Tell me.”
I laughed, taking the moment to inhale again, in an effort to calm my mind. My curls shook slightly. “Nope, I’m fine.”
Tyler’s face pinched. “Really? I know when a woman says she is fine, she is definitely NOT fine.”
He leaned in, touching my arm. “Please. What happened?”
I pulled away from his touch. Not because it didn’t feel nice, it felt amazing. It felt so warm. I knew to him my arm would feel like an ice cube. Again, one of the many strange little quirks about seeing ghosts. Something about their presence made my body temperature plummet.
“Savanah, what happened? You are freezing.” He reached over and grabbed his jacket. Before I could protest, he wrapped it around my shoulders. “What has you so spooked? Did someone say something to you?”
I laughed nervously, “No, thank goodness.” As soon as the words tumbled out, I regretted them.
Tyler’s expression stayed the same, but something changed in his eyes. The emerald had hardened. Anger, maybe? “Who? Tell me. Now.”
My cheeks glowed as the blood returned, making them almost burn. “Really, Tyler. I am fine. Really. I think I just freaked myself out a bit.”
He placed his hand back on my arm, this time with a gentleness. His eyes never left my face. “Savanah, I don’t believe you.” He moved his hand slowly, caressing my forearm, “I do however want you to know you can trust me. There is nothing you can say that would freak me out.”
I grinned thinly. If he only knew. “Thanks. I guess I’m just embarrassed what a scaredy cat I am.”
His hand slowed. “If that’s what you’re sticking with.”
My smile securely stuck to my face as I nodded. “Should we get to civ?”
Tyler let out a small sigh before removing his hand. I knew this was dangerous. He cared. That much I could see, but would he still if he knew the truth?
Freak, party of one, your table’s ready.
Leah left Saturday morning, leaving a quiet day for me to study and do laundry by myself. I headed down to throw in a load, balancing my latest book for Western Civilization. My steps broke the silence in the empty stairwell, marking each foot fall with obnoxiously loud echoes. A guy almost ran directly into me as I came around the corner.
“I’m sorry. I totally didn’t see you.”
His faded paramedic jacket looked soiled and aged. His eyes looked straight through me and walked past without a word proceeding up to the second floor. My book slipped to the side of the basket, so I stopped walking to grab it before it slipped off and toppled to the floor.
My blood ran cold.
Silence met my ears.
No sound. The guy couldn’t have left the stairwell yet, it had been just a few seconds since I passed him. Hesitantly I peered up the stairs. Nothing. No exit door had opened, and I could see no one. A shiver ran down my spine. “Damn it. I cursed under my breath as I quickened the pace.
Chapter Five
Fall leaves gave up their final grasp on the trees, floating down begrudgingly. As fall orange and golden shades began to fade, I found myself not only surviving midterms but already registering for January term classes. It blew my mind that I’d almost completed my first semester! The next week would be Thanksgiving, and I’d head home for the first time since moving to college. Life had settled, I had matured, but honestly, I didn’t feel that different.
Why?
Shouldn’t I feel grown up, and ready to live my best life? Shouldn’t I be confident? Instead, my feelings rolled around like a rollercoaster from one moment to the next.
One second, things are high and perfect, then I bomb a quiz and my emotions plummet like the tracks. Then, Leah says something sweet and kind and I can hear the cars being pulled, clackety-clack up by the chain to start the process over again.
Was this what being an adult felt like? If so, how did they always look like they had it all together?
Or maybe I was doing something wrong. Maybe I missed a step. Forgot to get my ticket punched. Looking around, it appeared most were riding this rollercoaster with a friend. It seemed everyone had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Even Leah had started dating a guy she met on one of her hikes.
I however, continued to be a single rider.
Not that Tyler hadn’t asked me out. He held my hand a few times, while studying, or walking home in private. Of course, in public it would have been obnoxious, but we hadn’t really moved past that. I inhaled, exhaling slowly, knowing full well it was me that kept the relationship at arm’s length.
Shoving my book roughly in my bag, I became slightly irritated at myself. Why did I have to be so guarded? It isn’t like I didn’t like him. I grabbed my phone and texted. The biggest rival basketball game happened tonight, and Tyler had mentioned it. Why not?
“U going to game.” I texted, hitting send before I could chicken out.
“yep”
I waited. Really? I would have to ask. I smiled, imagining the smirk he surely was sporting, waiting for my response. I typed slowly, trying to get the words right.
“Y” He shot back.
Dang it!
“ya wanna go together?” I swallowed hard, waiting for the message to come back. If he said no, I’d be forever humiliated.
“do you” Tyler messaged.
I rolled my eyes, “Are you freaking kidding? He's such a brat.”
“Um I guess.” I sent. Two can play this.
“Well if you want”
I waited.
The smiley winky face emoji popped up. “I’ll swing by after practice.”
“ok see u then”
I pulled my ear buds out of my pocket and hit my power play list.
I finished studying, grabbed food, and headed back to the room. My roommates were actually super nice, just not really my style. They’d all bonded and connected with their respective teams. They were sport girls through and through. I walked silently around the girls to my bed in the back of the room.
“Hey Savannah.” Camryn tipped her chin towards me with a smile.
“Hey guys.” I dropped my book bag and started digging for a shirt.
“So, you going to the game?”
One of the friends smiled and chided in, “Yeah she is.”
My color matched my curls. My expression fell.
Camryn stepped in, “Darcy, what does that mean?”
Darcy smiled widely. “Nothing, I just have class with a friend of hers.”
I turned toward my drawers, looking for my invisibility cloak. It had to be here someplace.
Camryn pushed Darcy’s arm, “Stop it,” she whispered, “she is really shy.”
Hmm, Camryn is cooler than I thought.
Darcy laughed, “She can be as shy as she wants. Tyler is so jacked about this; he could hardly sit still in lab.” Her brows raised.
I smiled; my blush still filled my cheeks. “It isn’t a big deal.”
“Oh, Tyler is awesome. Like he is a good guy, Savannah, that is so cool.” Camryn walked closer. “Do you need anything?”
“Hey, I can help with hair.” Darcy, plopped down on the bed, “I know it doesn’t look like it, but my mom is a hairstylist, and actually my sister is like super girly.” She shrugged her shoulders, “I did learn a few things just watching them.”
I smiled. They were being so nice. “I don’t think I am really going to get all dolled up. It isn’t that big of a deal.”
Darcy laughed, “Well, Tyler thinks it is.”
I blushed deeper.
“Stop it, you are stressing her out.” Camryn turned toward me, “But really, you are totally right. It isn’t that big of a deal. Dress however you want.”
I felt the emotions rise in my throat. I’d never realized how sweet Camryn really was. Here we’d lived in the same space for months, and never saw this side of her. “Seriously, thank you for being so nice.”
&
nbsp; Camryn’s face fell a little, “Of course Han. You are just so cute, I am so happy you are opening up.”
I glanced from Camryn to Darcy. Two jocks being like real girls. Humble gratitude oozed out. “Thanks, I guess I keep to myself.”
Darcy had moved to my dresser, “Ok, what are we putting you in?” She made herself right at home. “You gotta show a little skin.”
“Darcy!” Camryn scolded.
“For Christ sake, she doesn’t have to dress like a skank, just like an arm would be good. Maybe show she has a neck. Ohh, this brown top you have would bring out her eyes.” Darcy held up two shirts, one being a long sleeve, pretty much my standard look, and the other happened to be a thick turtleneck I hadn’t worn yet.
“Camryn, what do you have? I know you have some purple at least. My gosh, you can’t even tell where Savannah goes to school.”
I sighed a little. “Yeah, I don’t really shop.”
“I don’t know if I have anything that will fit you. You are so tiny.”
I couldn’t control my laughter. “Umm, I've never been told I was tiny.”
“Well, you are smaller than us. We shop in the football department. You don’t get scholarships with weak shoulders!” Darcy made her arms bulge out bigger. She really did have huge shoulders.
Camryn laughed, “Yeah, yeah, bench and deadlift record holder, we know.” She tossed a shirt at Darcy, “I just don’t bulk like you do. It’s frustrating.”
“You jump and run too. Why do you need to bulk? I only throw- big difference.”
I stood listening to their conversation, feeling completely left out. I couldn’t remember when I went to a gym-like ever. These two worked out daily.
“I still don’t see how you think I am small. I’m 5’9” for heck sake.”
“6’1” Camryn raised her hand. “If I could shoot a basket, I would be in basketball. Alas, I am strong!”
“5’ 10! Got you by an inch.”
“What’s Crystel got?”
“Um, don’t look through her stuff!” Camryn tried to block Darcy.
“Oh please, her girlfriend and I went to school together since third grade. Crys is fine. She comes off all cold and bitchy, but really she is a push over.”
“Either way, Darcy, no.” Camryn shut the drawer.
“Fine, then I am going deeper into your stuff. You must have something. Besides, Savannah has a bigger rack than you, so a little length would be perfect.
They pulled shirt after shirt, and I marveled at how many different styles they had. From strappy to tank to crop to everything in between. I had t-shirts, in a few colors. Basically, that was it.
Finally, after trying on at least fifteen different tops, they decided on one, and Darcy insisted on the ripped jeans. Totally fine with me since they were my favorite anyway.
Camryn propped open the door, letting some of the heat out. They sat me down, working with my hair and insisting I add a little make up. Again, things were pulled out of other drawers.
“You do realize I could never do this look again without your help.” I said in between hair pulls.
“Um, I am simply braiding your hair; it isn’t that hard.” Darcy said as she continued to wrap my hair tightly into thick reversed French braids.
Camryn dabbed on powder after powder. “It is bronzer and highlighter. Again, nothing too major. Just a little color.” I stared down as she worked on my eyelids. I looked back up and caught a glance of the same guy from the stairs. My blood drained from my face, and I felt my temperature drop. I inhaled, and barely returned air to my lungs.
“What the fuck?” Camryn looked at my face and followed my gaze to the door. “Savannah what just happened?” Darcy stopped mid braid. “Savannah? Savannah?”
I inhaled deeply, and tried to look natural, but he wouldn’t go away. He stood there, staring at me. Directly into my eyes. I looked away, shifting my focus around the room, but try as I might, I always landed back on him in the doorway.
I didn’t see Darcy, until the door slammed shut. “What the hell just happened?”
I looked back toward the door. I knew he stood just on the other side.
I sprinkled salt my first night in the dorm. I stepped on it, and squished it, and ground it deep into the short industrial carpet. I hadn’t sealed the door since, thinking it was silly to do it in the first place.
He oozed evil. Whoever he was, he was not good, and try as I might, I knew he would be back.
My eyes welled with tears. So much for my moment of perfectly normal.
So long athletic friends who didn’t think I was a freak.
I stood, wobbly, and walked to my shelf. No words left my lips. From behind my books and pictures, I pulled a small container of sea salt mixed with simple herbs. Walking past my silent friends, I spread a thin line across the door, under my breath incanting a simple saying I’d started years ago. “You are not welcome here, please pass by, you are not welcome here, keep going low or high.”
I stood up and returned the bottle to the back of the shelf.
Facing them for the first time, noting their blank expressions, wishing I could go back to just minutes ago. I inhaled, expecting their comments to start.
“You saw him, didn’t you?” Darcy’s face didn’t look angry, or disgusted. Her expression lay closer to knowing.
“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I turned toward my drawer, just rummaging clothes from one pile to another.
Darcy reached for my arm. “Holy shit, you are like ice.”
I shrugged away, “I just got a chill, it happens. “
“Bullshit.”
“Darcy, let her be.”
“No, I will not. She saw him. Don’t try to tell me otherwise.” She grabbed me and twirled me toward her. “Look at me.” Her fingers pressed deeply into my skin. Begrudgingly, I met her gaze. “Did-you-see-him?”
“Did you?” I breathed out thinly. My mind started to click into place. If Darcy was this adamant about it, then maybe I wasn’t alone. She said him. How could she know if it was a guy or a girl, or human for that matter? How could she have had any idea what was there unless… “Did you see him?”
“Of course not. I am not that cool.” Darcy dropped her grip.
My face fell. Silly, that I allowed my emotions to slightly slip into that small space called hope. To think I’m not alone. When would I ever learn?
“Then why are so sure she saw something? If you didn’t see anything, why would she? She got lightheaded, that’s all, isn’t it, Savanah? You just kind of got lightheaded, right?”
Oh, what I would have given it was true.
“Bullshit. She saw him, then she got out the salt to keep him out. There is not any other explanation.”
Darcy had a look of knowing on her face. How she knew, I couldn’t be sure, but she knew.
“How did you know?” My voice floated lightly.
Darcy’s eyes reflected a victorious twinkle. “I knew it. You’re special.”
Camryn looked from one to the other, “Seriously, what are you talking about?”
Darcy nodded toward me. “Savanah is a medium.”
Chapter Six
“Whoa back up. What?” Camryn sat slowly on the bed. “What the hell are you talking about? Savanah, what is she talking about?”
Darcy’s eyes never left my face. “You see, this building is haunted. There are supposedly a couple of ghosts that hang out. One good, a girl who never got the opportunity to experience college like us. She could pass you in the hall on her way to an English class and you would never know. Most people wouldn’t notice. Hell, I wouldn’t. Then there is the other ghost. He is so not good. He is evil, he is troubled, and he is the reason she is here. Murder suicide many years ago. Most people never really know the whole story. Some people don’t believe it anyway, but Savanah knows. She probably sees them all. Isn’t that right Savanah?”
Tears welled and brimmed the edges of my eyes. “I don’t want to see them.” I b
reathed. Falling into the chair, I lowered my head, observing how my tears splashed silently on my legs.
“This isn’t true. You guys are messing with me, right? Ghosts aren’t real. They’ve proven it. They’re all in people’s imaginations.”
“How long have you had the gift?”
I didn’t look up. I couldn’t swallow the lump in my throat. I simply shook my head. “No.” I whispered.
Darcy relentlessly stared at me. I could feel the weight of her eyes. “Yes. And I just saw it. I bet you’ve had this your whole life.” She finally looked at Camryn, “My grandmother was a medium. She was born with the sight. It really should be genetic, but none of us are that lucky.”
I laughed, “It isn’t lucky. It’s a curse. Besides I’m not a medium. A medium has talent. I just,”
“You just what? Can see those that have passed away? You can see the loved ones all of us would kill to see again?” Darcy’s eyes filled with a pain that caught me off guard. “I would kill for that gift, Savanah.”
Camryn stared completely mute, transfixed on their conversation.
“It is not a gift!” I wiped my eyes, “I am a freak. Having people whisper about you when you walk down the hall, and everyone sure that you are completely crazy, is not a gift. Seeing things that aren’t there is called crazy.
Darcy. “Wow, we’re gonna have to work on your outlook.” She flashed a smile, “Don’t worry, I got you.”
I blinked at her. She ‘got her’ as in she isn’t going to make fun of her and run screaming from the room? What the devil is going on?
Camryn finally broke her silence, “Savanah, this is true? You can really see things that are not really there?”
I nodded. “But could you please not tell the others? I don’t like to talk about it.”
“We won’t tell anyone, will we Cam?”
“No, of course not.”
“See? You’re safe.” Darcy smirked, “On one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“I want all the details. Like all of them. Before you go tell anyone else, I gotta know first.”
I tried to smile. What an odd conversation. Who wants to hear crazy girls’ hallucinations?