The Reluctant Medium

by GG Anderson

  My frame went cold. “Oh.”

  Cam caught the expression on my face, “This wasn’t your mom was it?”

  Damn she was so perceptive. I shook my head. “Do you know who it was?” She asked, keeping her voice down.

  “Elizabeth.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Camryn wanted to know all the details. She and I slipped down to the common room to chat quietly without waking up everyone.

  I explained the visit with Elizabeth and how Tyler had helped me see her. Camryn didn’t interrupt, she didn’t move. Her face held a tight, calm expression.

  "So, that’s pretty much it,” I folded my hands in my lap, leaning back in my chair.

  She leaned back too, meeting my eyes. “Wow. You are so beyond amazing. Like, you are so cool.”

  I laughed, “Whatever, I am so the opposite of cool.”

  She nodded her head, “Yeah, you can talk to the dead, you can communicate with ghosts that have been dead for however long, and not only talk to them, see them! Do you realize how strange that is? Do you realize how RARE that is?” she scanned the room to assure we were still alone, “Do you realize how special it is? You are truly gifted. Completely magical.” The awe in her eyes was uncanny. It made me uncomfortable.

  “Anyway, that’s what happened,” I looked down at my feet. “And somehow I fell asleep thinking of her and dreamt about it.”

  “Ok, so no big deal,” Camryn laughed and winked at me.

  “I really don’t think it is. Besides, I just want to try and find out what happened to her and move on. Or help her move on, or whatever.”

  “Well I hope you can,” Camryn yawned.

  Movement over at the corner of the common area made my blood run cold. “Where is she?” His voice sounded horse, thick from lack of use.

  Camryn’s sleepiness dissipated as she followed my eyes to where he stood. “What? Who do you see?”

  I focused on him standing at the far end of the common room. “I can’t help you,” my words were just above a whisper.

  Camryn looked between the empty space and me, silently trying to see what I could see.

  “Where is she?” The words came louder this time, closer. He stood halfway in the middle of the common area.

  I raised my chin, “I will not help you.” The cold filled my lungs, my feet felt like ice cubes.

  “Where is she?” He asked again, this time standing just behind Camryn’s chair. His eyes flickered down to her unknowing frame.

  I forced myself to stand and walk towards him. Each step weighed 100 pounds. I breathed deeply with each movement. I grasped the back of her chair as I stood inches from him. “I said, I will not help you. You are not welcome here. You need to leave.” I tried to put power behind my words, but they fell flat.

  “Where is she?” the voice raised slightly.

  “No!” I drew all the strength I could muster, “You are not welcome. Leave now!” My arm pushed out, still gripping the back of her chair with the other. I reached nothing but air, and yet it cut through his image like I had plunged my hand into ice cold water.

  For just a second.

  Then he was gone.

  I looked around, leaning heavily on the back of the chair. Camryn reached back. “What the actual hell just happened?”

  I breathed deeply. “Remember the stalker dude? Well he’s back.”

  Camryn looked around the room. Her eyes portrayed the uneasiness she was trying hard to hide.

  “He’s gone. At least for right now,” I took another deep breath; “Can we go back to bed? I’m beat?”

  Camryn laughed but stood up, with one more cautious glance around the empty room.

  We walked through the door as quiet as possible, tiptoeing to our beds. “Hey Han?” Camryn asked.

  “Yeah?”

  “Can he get in here?” the catch in her voice made the apparent fear she felt now in the dark, more obvious.

  “No.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Yes.”

  “Ok, Goodnight.”

  I planned to strengthen the door first thing in the morning.

  I woke tired but didn’t have any more dreams for the rest of the night that I could remember. I strengthened the seal on the entry to the room and grabbed my books, running late to class.

  This was my lab, which I hated because science and I have a mutual understanding. I didn’t try and completely understand her, and she didn’t try and blow me up. There was really no point to trying to understand labs. It was much more a practice to just keep from doing anything stupid.

  The class was long and I constantly moved to keep from nodding off. I went and used the restroom at one point, just to keep myself from falling over. Boredom was not the friend of the tired mind.

  Walking back, I heard footsteps behind me.

  I turned to catch sight of an older man walking towards me, grasping a thin hospital gown. “Excuse me nurse!” he called after me.

  I turned away from him, focusing on the classroom, hurrying through the door. I slid into my chair, refusing to look back.

  What the hell? two days ago, only a flicker here and there and now we had full on stalker ghosts everywhere I went?

  “Hey! I am talking to you!” The man stood next to my table, bent over me.

  I angled my chair away, turning slightly into my lab partners’ space.

  “Don’t ignore me! I have been waiting for the doctor forever. Can someone please tell me when my wife is going to get here?” His voice cracked slightly.

  I took a deep breath, and looked at my lab partner, “Sorry, it must have been something I ate. I’ll be back,” I got up and headed back out of the room, tipping my head towards the man. Each step took focus, each breath took intention.

  I found a small bench down the hall, just past the bathrooms. I knew the cadaver labs were at the end of the corridor, but I had no plans on getting closer than this.

  I sat down, grounding myself, trying very hard to stay centered. “I am so sorry to tell you this, but you are dead” How exactly was I supposed to deliver this news? I couldn’t really break it to him gently. I needed him to understand and move on.

  “Well aren’t you the smart nurse! I know I am dead missy; I am asking when my wife is going to get here?”

  His words took me back. “You know?”

  “I died on the operating table; heart attacks are not exactly an easy thing to get through. Now, when is my wife coming to pick me up?”

  My mind spun and I had to focus on my breathing to keep from passing out. “Sir, I don’t know. I haven’t seen your wife.”

  “Well a lot of help you are,” he turned and walked back towards the cadaver lab.

  Feeling returned to my toes.

  What the hell?

  I got up and headed back toward my class.

  I marked time with each step, each lecture, but couldn’t tell you what happened in any of them. I couldn’t stop thinking about the last 24 hours. What a complete change in my reality.

  I walked to lunch in a fog, not even sure if I noticed who passed by me. Grabbing food, I found a table near a window and munched mindlessly.

  So apparently the gift was back, and the door was wide open.

  “Hey, can I sit with you for a few?” A girl sat down, looking completely out of place. I looked around, not sure where she came from.

  “Sure. I’m Savanah,” I tried to act normal.

  “I’m Karson,” She looked over her shoulder again. "My dad thought I was a boy,” she laughed. “That’s ok, he wants me to be a doctor too,” her laughs felt off, out of place.

  “Yeah, what are you majoring in?” I shivered slightly. Consequences of sitting next to the windows in winter.

  “I’m going to major in journalism.”

  Going…

  I took another look at her and I realized she was wearing cut off 501 jean shorts.

  In winter.

  I exhaled and I felt the ice flood out of my lungs.
/>   “So what year are you?” I asked casually, now focusing on keeping myself grounded.

  “I’m a senior. I can’t wait for college. Are you so excited?”

  I nodded and took a bite of French fry.

  She scanned the room again, “I don’t know where my friends are, I’ve been looking for them,” her face shook in frustration. “Anyway, are you coming here for college?”

  I nodded, “Yeah, I can’t wait.”

  “I don’t know yet. I mean I wouldn’t mind it here, it is a great school, but my ex-boyfriend lives close,” she shrugged and blushed a little, “It was a really bad break up,” she met my eyes, “So yeah, there’s that.” Karson laughed nervously. “Anyway, away college is looking good if you know what I mean,” she rocked back and forth on her stool.

  “Yeah, I can imagine. You should totally go away; ex-boyfriends are the worst.”

  “Totally. Like, I can’t even get over the drama.” She looked around again, “Ok, I am going to go. Thanks for letting me chat.”

  “Bye Karson.”

  “See ya around, Savanah.”

  I watched her walk out of the room, but no one else noticed her. “Who ya looking at?” Tyler took the seat that Karson just vacated.

  I met his face, “Um this was been the weirdest day.”

  “Yeah? Cause you had a pretty weird night.”

  I looked in front of him, he must have already eaten. “You already ate?”

  “Yeah,” He laughed, “I called to you when you got here, but when you didn’t answer, I figured you were deep in thought. Then I saw you talking to yourself, I thought I better come over and make sure you were ok.”

  I met his eyes, “Today has been weirder.”

  “Weirder than last night?”

  I shook my head, raising my eyes brows as high as they would go. “Oh yeah, your girlfriend is batshit crazy.”

  He laughed and took my hand, “Tell me something I don’t already know.”

  “Well, you thought I was talking to myself. Apparently, I was talking to my new friend Karson. She is a senior in high school and just went through a really bad breakup with her boyfriend,” I shook my head erratically. “Yeah, and THEN BEFORE at lab, I had an old guy follow me from the bathroom INTO my class, asking the nurse, by the way that is me, if I had seen his wife.”

  Tyler’s eyes filled with humor and something else I couldn’t identify.

  I took a sip, “OH but it’s ok, because he knew he was dead,” I started laughing. “Holy crap this day is nuts.”

  “So, what? They all see you now and they’re everywhere? Hmm, so I guess you don’t need me anymore.”

  I looked up at him quickly, realizing his eyes rang with humor.

  “You wanna head to the auditorium? Cause apparently, the doors are open, and I am here to listen to whatever ghostly stories you may have. Just call it ghost confessional! Pope Savanah at your service,” my voice was a little higher than I realized, and a few people looked at us. I took a deep breath. “And that doesn’t even count the crazy night with stalker guy in the common room last night.”

  Poor Tyler stared at me trying to follow along.

  “I’m so sorry,” I stood up, “First things first, let’s see if grandpa’s home.” I reached for his hand.

  He looked at my outstretched fingers and shook his head slowly, “The good news is you’re not boring,” he took my hand, and we left the dining hall, cutting across the grass to the auditorium. The stairs echoed as we made our way down to the basement.

  “Now, I do think he has been harder because he isn’t here, like here on campus here. Everyone else I’ve talked to – well mostly today have been here. Even the old dude was from the cadaver lab. So, if it doesn’t work, please remember it isn’t that I am not trying.”

  I held his hands, and he twisted his around to interlace our fingers. “Savanah, thank you for trying. You do realize that no one else on earth could even attempt what you are doing, right?”

  I blinked. I never saw it that way. I never saw it being an issue of something no one else could do. “I really do want to help,” his hands dropped mine and took the sides of my face so quickly I didn’t even realize he had done it, until his lips crashed into mine.

  There was that fire.

  There was the inferno I had felt yesterday.

  It was if the heat was never going to completely die out now that it started. The simple touch of his lips sent my emotions into overdrive. My fingers wove through his hair, gripping tightly, trying to melt into him.

  His lips traveled down my neck and I sighed, allowing my eyes to flutter open just slightly. “Oh Tyler.”

  “That boy should have better manners than that.” The voice broke through my euphoria like a bucket of water. I pushed him back but maintained my hand on his neck.

  “I am so sorry sir; we shouldn’t have carried on like that.”

  Tyler looked completely humiliated. “Gramps?” His words were thin, and he started to pull away from me.

  I grabbed tightly to his hand.

  “Oh, I was young once, but he should be a bit more of a gentleman.”

  “Yes sir” I looked at Tyler sideways, “He actually is quite a gentleman. We just got a little carried away.”

  “Gramps, we need your help,” Tyler talked to the empty air.

  “How long have you and my grandson been dating?”

  “We have been going together for about a month now,” I smiled at Tyler, although he looked slightly frustrated.

  “Well then, I guess I can understand where you are coming from,” the man laughed a little.

  “Excuse me Sir, Tyler needs some help if you don’t mind.”

  The man looked around, “So why are we here?”

  I met Tyler’s anxious eyes, then looked back at his grandpa. “We came to talk, and honestly hoped you would be here too,” I breathed deeply again, I needed to stay grounded, keep him talking.

  “We need to know where his last will is. The final one he wrote. If not, everything he worked for will be gone,” Tyler’s eyes darted around the room while he bounced with nerves next to me, not really helping the calming process I focused so hard on.

  “Why isn’t he talking to me?” the look of confusion crossed the grandfathers face. Hurt maybe?

  “I am sorry, but Tyler can’t see you today, Sir. You see, not very many people can. I am trying to help him.”

  “What’s wrong with his eyes? I don’t understand. He always had great eyesight.” The man stepped closer to Tyler, adding to the intensity of the energy.

  I had to focus with all my might to keep upright. My words slowed. “Sir, since your passing not everyone can see you as clearly.”

  He reached toward Tyler and everything went black.

  I woke up with Tyler leaning over me. His expression of concern faltered slightly, disappointment clouded his face, quickly turning to shame. “I take it he’s gone?”

  I nodded, pulling myself upright. “Tyler, I’m sorry. He touched you and the energy was just too much.”

  The color drained from his face. “He touched me?”

  I checked inventory of my limbs, shaking them to get the circulation moving, and took a deep breath, “Tyler, he doesn’t realize he’s dead.”

  Tyler’s face read horror. “How is that possible?”

  I shrugged, reaching for my water bottle. “I don’t know honestly, but I got it pretty clear he had no idea.”

  Tyler searched the floor for something. His eyes burning into the grey concrete.

  “Tyler, we can try again.”

  He shifted his focus to a far wall, diverting his eyes from my face. “It’s ok, I don’t know if it will do any good. If he doesn’t even know he passed away, how is he supposed to know? We’re running out of time,” his last words were just above a whisper.

  I reached for his hand. “I can do this; I know I can.” And somehow, I knew I was right.

  I could do this. I had made contact with more spirits
in the last two days than I had in my entire life.

  "It’s ok, we’ll try later. I gotta get to practice," he squeezed my hand. “I really appreciate your help. Seriously Savanah, I don’t know what I would do without you.” He stood and I watched him walk up the stairs. I didn’t follow him. It was obvious he needed a minute to get his head right before swinging a bat around.

  I stood up, feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket. Checking the text, it was from Camryn.

  “Dinner?”

  I quickly texted back yes and waited for her emoji to pop up.

  I walked the stairs out of the basement, feeling exhausted.

  I had a ton of reading to do and it wasn’t going to get easier the later the day got.

  The cold bit at my cheeks as I made my way to the library. I was sick of the library. The last thing I wanted to do was sit and read again.

  Pouting, I walked through the glass doors and ascended the wide-open stairs. I chose a table close to the windows, staring over the train tracks, wishing I could jump a train and head off on an adventure.

  What a juvenile thing to do. I had no reason to run away, life was going really well. Things were exactly what I wanted, right?

  I sighed and cracked the book that seemed to be yelling at me from my backpack.

  Reading was slow, but finally it was time to head to the dining hall.

  I gathered my stuff, more awake, knowing I didn’t have to be in homework purgatory any longer.

  Just as I stood to leave, I fell back into my chair.

  “Where is my sweater? I know it was in this load!”

  A girl stood with a basket of laundry, staring at me with wild eyes. I glanced around, hoping her caregiver was close, but no, I was definitely the only one who could see her.

  Awesome.

  Three in one day.

  “I know you took it! It is my favorite sweater! Give it back, I need that sweater.” She got closer, leaning in towards me.

  “I promise I do not have your sweater,” my feet tingled, and I gripped the side of the table. “You need to go.”

  “NO!!! You took it! I told them you stole it! I told them, but no one will listen! I can’t pass a test without that sweater!”

  I inhaled deeply. “I promise I do not have it, maybe you should walk towards the light to look for it.” I had no idea if there was a light, but heck it was worth a shot.