Bewilderness

by Karen Tucker

  Luce looked at him. “So why the hell did GC drive us all the way out here?”

  “Research as in research chemicals?” I said. They were pretty fascinating, from what I’d read on Reddit. Basically scientists would take an illegal drug and change up a molecule or two, creating a whole new substance that was technically legal even though it could still mess you up six ways from Sunday.

  “Smart girl.” The doctor turned to me with a smile of approval. You could hear a faint clicking in his little Keebler jaw. “The field is quite intriguing, with considerable untapped potential.”

  “Okay, now we’re getting somewhere,” Luce said. “How about hooking us up with some of that research.”

  The doctor studied Luce’s face like she was under a microscope in a lab. “You’re aware there’s a risk factor.”

  “Come on,” she said. “Everything on this whole entire planet is risky. I know two chicks who ODd in sober living. Another in rehab. Another one in her parents’ house while they snored their heads off the next room.” She took a bite of cookie and washed it down with a chug of seltzer. “This one guy? Clean for over eleven months, works the steps, goes to daily meetings. Eats a couple presses and poof. Gone forever.”

  I reached for her hand, but she tucked it under her leg before I could get there.

  “Maybe he was right,” she said after a moment. “Maybe that’s the way to do it. Just slip away when nobody’s watching.”

  “Hey,” I said. “Don’t say that.”

  “At least he’s not dealing with this shit anymore.” She drained the rest of her glass and sank into the cushions. “It’s just. So. Fucking. Exhausting.”

  It struck me that I was pretty tired from everything too. Following her lead, I drank some more of my seltzer and helped myself to another cookie, hoping the sugar would kick in before too much longer.

  “You girls do seem a bit low energy,” said the doctor. There was that weird clicking in his jaw again. “I can give you something to help with that if you’re interested.”

  “Sure man, throw it in the bag. Whatever.” Luce’s voice sounded drowsy and hoarse, the way it always got in peak allergy season.

  I leaned toward her. “How you feeling?”

  She gazed at me through the half-lidded eyes of someone about to fall out.

  Clearly she was having a reaction to the dope we’d sniffed off the hood of Gayle Crystal’s Corolla. Maybe it had been cut with ground-up Benadryl to make people think they were getting an extra good nod on. Maybe she’d hit a hot spot of fent. When a knock came at the door and a man’s voice called out that the cab was ready, relief went zooming all through me. Forget the stupid research chemicals, we needed to get Luce home soon as possible. I tugged at her elbow. “Come on, our ride’s here.”

  She didn’t answer, just groaned a little.

  “It’s unlocked,” the doctor called out.

  The door opened and the cabdriver entered. White dude. Forties. Slicked-back brown hair, navy windbreaker, pleated khakis. A bulky canvas satchel tucked under one arm. He placed it on the coffee table, next to the plate of cookies, and then without being asked he eased off a pair of boat shoes and stored them in the cubby next to mine and Luce’s.

  I tried to pull myself up but my head kept bobbing onto my chest and my limbs felt stuffed with concrete. “Wait,” I heard myself say. At last I fell back onto the sofa, useless. I must have hit a hot spot too.

  From somewhere inside my body I watched as the cabdriver unzipped his satchel and withdrew several tubes of metal. He screwed them together, revealing a tripod. He pulled out a complicated-looking camera and selected a lens. “How we doing?” he said to the doctor.

  “One down, one to go,” he said.

  I remember turning to Luce and seeing her head slumped on her shoulders, eyes closed, her mouth hanging open.

  I remember the doctor saying I needed a refill.

  I remember watching him top off my glass, sit down beside me, and hold the drink to my lips until I choked down a few swallows.

  The lights dimmed into a briny green.

  When the doctor got up from the couch, the whole room lurched sideways as if it had been thrown off-balance. The cabdriver leaned over and peered into my eyes. “Don’t worry, we’re just going to take a few pictures.” He squeezed my bad knee like a cook testing meat for doneness.

  When the doctor came back into focus, the dog leash was hanging from his hand.

  r/opioids • Posted by u/86thepervontable3 14 hours ago

  Need advice please

  So my friend is having a rough time. What happened was we were clean for 11 months but then her boyfriend ODd and she slipped on K (asthma attack, not her fault), we got kicked out of his memorial (also not her fault), and we both ended up sniffing h. Then last night we got roofied (don’t want to get into that here) and afterward things got even worse. Point is, I keep trying to get her back to a meeting and she always says yes, but when the time comes she backs out. Any ideas?

  all 80 comments

  sorted by: old (suggested)

  Please keep discussion civil!

  PLEASE READ THE RULES BEFORE COMMENTING! NO SOURCING!

  allbarredout89 31 points • 14 hours ago

  No offense, but you what you need is to worry about your own self before you worry about her. Don’t see a whole lot of taking responsibility happening.

  thegameisrigs 7 points • 14 hours ago

  was thinking the same thing haha

  86thepervontable3 3 points • 14 hours ago

  Did you even read the post? I am taking responsibility. I’m trying to get her to a meeting!

  lungingtheairduster 19 points • 14 hours ago

  You got kicked out the funeral? You show up wasted?

  86thepervontable3 2 points • 14 hours ago

  Memorial and no.

  signmycardplease 12 points • 14 hours ago

  IANAL but you might be able to get her detained if she’s posing a threat to herself or others. Probably depends on where you’re at. I know in Florida you can get someone Baker-acted without too much trouble. My parents did it to me twice. Only good for 72 hours, but if she’s in bad enough shape you can get her involuntary rehab which is more longterm. Hard agree you need to take responsbility for your choices.

  cheekingmymeds 5 points • 14 hours ago

  in cali its called a 5150. been there done that, can be ok if you know what your doing.

  andthedishranawaywiththespoon 8 points • 14 hours ago

  username checks out

  86thepervontable3 2 points • 14 hours ago

  Yeah, rehab is off the table. Not sending her anywhere, thanks though

  cottonsick 11 points • 14 hours ago

  oh my god I was roofied once by someone I used to think was a friend. Im so sorry that happened to you. Never knew what he did to me exactly since I was in full-on blackout but mentallyit fucked me up big time. Sending big hugs.

  86thepervontable3 9 points • 14 hours ago

  Hugs back to you. Thanks.

  needlesandpins 11 points • 13 hours ago

  holy shit i’m sorry. Go the cops now so they can get evidence. Getting your pubes combed isn’t fun and neither is court but at least the dude who assalted me got jail time.

  86thepervontable3 8 points • 13 hours ago

  We weren’t assaulted.

  needlesandpins 12 points • 13 hours ago

  OK but how do you know you weren’t assalted if you were roofied?

  86thepervontable3 2 points • 13 hours ago

  We were mostly blacked out but there are some fuzzy parts I kind of remember (camera, dog leash). I think they just took some fucked up pics of me and my friend. Probably online already.

  proboville 18 points • 13 hours ago

  girl that happened to me once except it was my boyfriend at the time who did it. only reason I found out is cause a co-worker saw the shots for sale on kik. kik is crazy, like no mods or anything. still messed up
about it

  cottonsick 10 points • 13 hours ago

  Dog leash? Fuuuuuck. Prob on some. onion site by now. I’m sorry.

  needlesandpins 31 points • 13 hours ago

  THAT IS STILL ASSAULT. Please please report this and get help. You need to focus on recovery and your health rn. I’ve been there too and you can get through this.

  Edit: spelling

  dudesfuckingsuck 18 points • 13 hours ago

  This x 1000000000000

  andthedishranawaywiththespoon

  11 points • 13 hours ago

  ding ding ding we have a winner!

  86thepervontable3 3 points • 13 hours ago

  um ok thanks for the advice, but no cops. Also, can we stay on topic?

  foilsagain 18 points • 12 hours ago

  THEY?!!?

  PharmaJohn 11 points • 13 hours ago

  You know that story about the airplane masks? from the rooms? put it on yourself first then your friend. Gotta take care of yourself before worrying bout others.

  86thepervontable3 1 point • 13 hours ago

  I am taking care of myself! I’m the one keeping LE off our back, I’m the one making sure we’re eating, I’m the one reminding her to use her inhaler so she doesn’t have another asthma attack. You don’t know the whole story!

  PharmaJohn 10 points • 13 hours ago

  My point exactly. Check out al-anon. You could use some detachment. Good luck.

  86thepervontable3 –3 points • 13 hours ago

  JFC can you read? We’re not drinkers. DoC is pills.

  Edit: why the downvotes? I’m just being honest.

  kratomredhead 9 points • 12 hours ago

  try kratom. takes the edge off when you’re tryin to quit.

  igotthat50ioweyou 24 points • 12 hours ago

  Maybe an intervention would work? Though honestly it sounds like you have some control issues. Do you have a parent who’s afflicted?

  hookitupfat 8 points • 12 hours ago

  Totally thought the same thing when I read this

  86thepervontable3 0 points • 12 hours ago

  Not sure why I’m getting jumped on here. I’m just trying to help my friend.

  snitchesgetstitches 14 points • 12 hours ago

  What does your sponsor say? You told them all this right?

  coffinsup 2 points • 8 hours ago

  lol word

  thegameisrigs 7 points • 12 hours ago

  Set her up and get her arrested. If she’s a first-timer she’ll probably get court ordered rehab.

  allbarredout89 38 points • 12 hours ago

  Only do this if she’s white! If she’s Black or brown forget it, she’ll get jail.

  getthempressies 14 points • 11 hours ago

  would upvote this a thousand times. the system is fucked.

  snowballerqueen 13 points • 9 hours ago

  Can confirm. We have a rehab/work release program at my job (food service) and it’s all white guys but one. Black people get locked up like always. This country is sick.

  shitbangstough 4 points • 12 hours ago

  hey its her life man. faster she hits bottom, faster she gets up. load her up with china white n see what happens

  86thepervontable3 2 points • 12 hours ago

  Wow. WTF is wrong with you.

  shitbangstough 4 points • 6 hours ago

  haha to much to get into here fam

  kratomredhead 1 point • 12 hours ago

  seriously tho try kratom. helps with the cravings and its legal

  out4delivery 9 points • 11 hours ago

  enough with the kratom posts. we get it. your into kratom.

  kratomredhead 0 points • 11 hours ago

  this is my second kratom post?

  out4delivery 10 points • 10 hours ago

  user history says different

  offpaperin6 13 points • 10 hours ago

  imo kratom does nothing. only thing that ever worked is subs but i’m tryin a wean myself off them too.

  southieskeezah 2 points • 4 hours ago

  where do you get subs. I don’t have insurance

  offpaperin6 3 points • 4 hours ago

  you can buy them on the street if you wnt but some clinics have them. where you at?

  AutoModerator 4 points • 4 hours ago

  this post has been removed by autobot. no sourcing, no locations.

  southieskeezah 2 points • 4 hours ago

  wow really autobot?

  snowwhite1010 7 points • 4 hours ago

  Mod here. Read the sidebar. We have rules in place so we don’t get shut down.

  southieskeezah 3 points • 4 hours ago

  ne. that better mods?

  offpaperin6 8 points • 4 hours ago

  dont know about that. i’m westcoast

  tylersmom79 18 points • 12 hours ago

  Why do you think meetings are the way to go? My bf went to plenty and he still ODd. Left me with our 2 yr old kid. Actually he used to be on this sub pretty regular, anyone remember u/waitingonapackage?

  bluelightinthebathroom 9 points • 12 hours ago

  Whoa yes, haven’t seen him around lately. He passed? When? Deepest condolences.

  tylersmom79 17 points • 12 hours ago

  December 26

  iswearitsavitamin 8 points • 12 hours ago

  .

  mycathasdiabetes 8 points • 12 hours ago

  .

  morefentpops4me 12 points • 12 hours ago

  oh my god i’m so sad. dude had the biggest heart and he was so funny. RIP he’ll be missed. I’m sorry for your loss

  throwitallawayaccount 7 points • 12 hours ago

  .

  animalPharm160 5 points • 11 hours ago

  .

  buyingpissinabongshop 3 points • 11 hours ago

  .

  ropeadopegirl 1 point • 10 hours ago

  sorry but what’s with all the dots? newbie here

  buyingpissinabongshop 8 points • 10 hours ago

  Moment of Silence for someone who Died

  junkyarddogbiteshard 4 points • 10 hours ago

  .

  yourabscessstinks 2 points • 3 hours ago

  .

  eatingcerealwithafork 4 points • 12 hours ago

  why stop youre friend from using heroine if she wants? its her life. shes an adult.

  AutoModerator 2 points • 12 hours ago

  A heroine is a female who faces danger or adversity and displays courage. Heroin is a name for diacetylmorphine which comes from its sale as branded product by Bayer in the early 1900s.

  I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  pandorasboxxx 1 point • 10 hours ago

  good bot

  B0tRank 1 point • 10 hours ago

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  cottonfever 4 points • 12 hours ago

  My stepmom forced me to go to rehab and it saved my life. Def doesn’t always work though. No easy answers.

  86thepervontable3 –7 points • 12 hours ago

  I SAID NO REHAB WHY IS THIS SUB FULL OF FUCKING IDIOTS!

  junkscience101 9 points • 12 hours ago

  Wow no need to smash the all caps. I know you’ve been through some shit but we’re just trying to help you

  dontlabratme 2 points • 12 hours ago

  facts

  86thepervontable3 –9 points • 12 hours ago

  [deleted]

  86thepervontable3 –15 points • 12 hours ago

  [deleted]

  junkscience101 22 points • 12 hours ago

  Um, hey buddy. You got any landing gear over there or?

>   86thepervontable3 2 points • 11 hours ago

  nvr mind people, all good now. tmrw is a new day 1:)

  eatingcerealwithafork 8 points • 9 hours ago

  looks like op got some more powder lmaoooo. good luck sis

  looking4afiend 1 point • 11 hours ago

  tar or #4

  daddyl0nglegs 1 point • 8 hours ago

  maybe shes just sad about her man. cut her some slack, shell come around sooner or later. keep us posted. btw get some narcan if you havent got it already

  hairynodder 1 point • 9 minutes ago

  Sorry if this is off topic. If I post a pic will someone tell me if my shits pressed or not?

  IT TOOK SOME EFFORT BUT AT LAST I MANAGED TO roll over and pull myself up to a sitting position. Night air thick like a curtain. Jumble of voices off in the distance. Gasoline fumes, an idling engine. I was in a parking lot, I realized. A pair of headlights washed over my body and soon a chill wind rose up and I began to shiver. My new leather jacket was gone. When someone slid their hands under my arms and hoisted me skyward I tried to scream but all that came out was an ugly gurgle.