Terribly Lottey

by Lacie Perry Parker

Just kidding.

  You see, my life isn’t over yet. At least not the exciting part. I say this with little enthusiasm, believe it or not. And guess what? Ryse’s mother gave me this book.

  I know your mouth must be open aghast. So I shall explain as best as can be expected.

  We were wandering through the desert, our tongues swollen to the size of our fists from lack of water, trying desperately to spot something. Something that inhabited people, people who had water, or something of the like. I can’t be sure, but it felt as if we were dying of thirst.

  What a wonderful place to die, right? I had just found my one and true love, and defeated the most venomous enemy I had come across yet. Except for I’m not really the kind of person who anticipates death, or an honorable death; don’t read me wrongly, I love Ryse and all, but this isn’t going to turn into a sob story on my account.

  Well anyway, I collapsed, falling onto Ivy. He attempted to catch me, I think, but he fell and I crushed him. For a second I thought I was Sharlotte Marish Rose Devingrole and began screaming out orders for water and transportation.

  “I think she’s gone mad!” I heard Ivy.

  “Which one of us hasn’t?!” I heard Ryse.

  Ivy pushed me off of him, and dust began swirling, all about my nose and through the few strands of hair I had left. Was I still that heavy?

  But it wasn’t me.

  I opened my eyes and curled into a ball as I watched a horrifically startling scene. A lady dressed in a hideous green, her hair and all, was twirling through the air, and it seemed to be on purpose. She landed at our feet, and laughed a few seconds, then bowed.

  “Oh, darling!” She put her arms out, and grabbed Ryse in a suffocating embrace.

  “Do you know her?” I asked, still on the ground. But then I saw Ryse’s face, his eyeballs popping out from the hug, looking mortified. I answered my own silly question.

  When the strange lady was done hugging Ryse, she turned to Ivy. “Oh, this must be her! How lovely, Ryse! A little on the hefty side, but any spell can correct that!”

  I scrambled out of the dust. “What in the world is she talking about?!?” I screeched.

  Ivy was the comedic relief. I thought for a moment that he would cry, but he uttered some words that squeaked. “Madam, I am not ‘a her’, I beg your pardon, although it should be you doing so.”

  I think that’s what he said.

  “Oh sorry, chap,” it seemed not a thing to her.

  Then… me. She turned to me. What dreadful eyes, what dreadful ears, and oh my, what a dreadful lady. If she can in fact be called that.

  “Oh,” she said quickly, politely. Then she turned to Ryse. “Why, you could’ve picked someone who wasn’t balding.”

  This lady is awfully lucky that our energy was drained to the last. If we had been our usual selves, we would have all pounced at once, knocking her tiny brains through her green ears.

  “Come with me, you two,” she held out her hands and closed her eyes.

  “What are you expecting?” I watched her little open hands. “Forgive me, but I’m all out of surprises.”

  The more offended she looked, the more satisfied I was.

  “Why, don’t you know who I am?” She sounded… astounded, I believe. Even if it was a little forced.

  “No,” Ivy and I chimed.

  “Oh, Ryse darling, you know who I am.” Her voice was sensual, and it made me both nervous and defensive. I flew to his side.

  “Enlighten me, for I think I have forgotten.” He entwined his hand in mine.

  “Why,” her favorite word, I do believe, “I’m your mother!”

  I know I should write that last word a million times bigger, and wider, and greener, because that was how it felt. But I don’t want to waste paper. And anything she says is a waste.

  “You’re fat and ugly and green and have being stupid down to a T!” I said, awfully quick but slurred, not knowing what I was saying or why. “Yes, you’re green. And Ryse is not. How can that be explained, then?”

  The green witch mother cackled seemingly ferociously, forcing me to cringe out of disgust. Then she asked, “What is Ryse’s last name?”

  “He doesn’t have one,” I answered for him, out of anxiousness.

  Green mother gave me an evil eye, one that said I am smarter than you think!!!

  “But neither do I!” I blurted loudly, attempting to show that my side of the case had far more logic. But, maybe some things just aren’t logical.

  “If he were your son, he’d at least have a hint of green to him somewhere. I haven’t left his side in days, and I personally haven’t noticed a green thing about him.” I turned up my nose happily.

  Then she raised a single green brow. “How is it then, dear girl, that you are the only Devingrole with green eyes and yellow locks?”

  I snorted, tried to, but I was a little startled, and it came out contortedly. “I’ll have you know that your source of information lacks, and that I am not in fact a Devingrole anymore, and never was. You should take some time and study your psychic history books.”

  Ryse grabbed my arm. He might have meant for me to stop. But how could a person such as me be cued and know it?

  I kept running my dainty but dry little mouth. “You aren’t very good with your little mind tricks and need to be a little more observant. I would have suggested before you came to take a fine powder and mist over your greenish areas before you announce that you have a brilliantly blonde haired son with a nicely worked complexion? I don’t believe it. You should have thought. And before you went and told me that I still belonged to the family that disowned and told me I was never un-disowned was utterly–”

  That wicked green monster of a feigning mother cut me off. “–Is that what they did?” And as if that weren’t bad enough, she started laughing at me, as if not a word of what I said was of truth. And that did not settle very well with me, might I add without haste.

  “Yes,” I snarled, “that is what they did to me. Do you find it amusing?” I strained to speak slowly.

  She… nodded. “I do.” Still laughing, though not in hysterics.

  “I don’t,” I gritted harshly. “Miss green monster lady, I am not enjoying our conversation in the least. I would like to graciously offer to stop and ask you to kindly allow us to continue on our way.” I tried to bite my tongue, but curiosity was strangling me. And I’m not even a cat. “Why, by the way, may I ask, do you in fact find it so amusing?”

  “What else did they tell you?” She asked, skipping around my very direct question.

  “Not your business, I’m afraid.”

  “Oh, but it could be.” She looked tantalized.

  I let out my hot air in a short sigh.

  “Have you ever even met your parents, Lottey?”

  Shook my head slowly.

  “Perhaps later. At this precise moment we need to be getting home so Ryse may be prepared for the crowning ceremony.”

  At these words, all of our chins dropped and hit the dust. I was, in fact, about to yell for smelling salts.

  I looked up at Ryse.

  “Hold on tight to one another, now!” Mother Green screeched happily.

  Ryse put a firm grip around my waist and squeezed me close. Ivy lunged and us, most likely a tad on the frightened side, and clutched us tightly as dusting began swirling around us.

  Amazingly, in a few moments we were in front of a classic castle. There was a moat with a drawbridge, guards stopping travelers and peddlers at the gates. For a second I thought I was aghast, but then I realized that I was utterly thrilled. The sky was blue and the grass and trees and bushes were green and full of blossoms; everything was absolutely picturesque. I closed my eyes and hiccupped with joy.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you lived in a castle, Ryse!” I exclaimed, almost in a shout.

  He looked down at me, sort of funny like, his hand still around my waist.

  “Oh,” I rumbled gleefully. Perhaps because he never knew? And at t
hat moment, I wasn’t even sure if he knew it now. He didn’t seem to be believing any of it.

  The green witch – I only call her a witch because her hair is green – came up from behind us and frightened the moisture from our skin. What a shame, too, seeing how dehydrated we all were.

  “Now come children, in we must go to meet Ryse’s father. He’ll be thrilled to see that we’re on time.” She squeezed in between my lover and I and began marching in the lead. I treaded behind Ryse and witch-mother, and Ivy treaded behind me. Every once and a while he would step on my heels, and I would scream at him.

  The gate was lowered especially for us, and as we crossed I insisted on Ryse escorting me personally. I felt awfully regal. Ivy said I was flamboyant. I said ‘thank you’ in the moment, but later on I began reasoning with myself: the only way Ivy would ever insult me was if I didn’t know he was doing it. I think he may have succeeded.

  “Make way for Queen Mersades!” Golden horns and trumpets and things that looked like animal horns were blown with tremendous air power to present green witch mother, who in reality is called Mersades, pronounced Mersu-dees. To me it sounds like a relative of the hemlock plant. Twice as poisonous.

  The castle had thrice the foyer space than Visel’s forbidden, no-more castle, and it was nice pastel colors, tiled with happy white and blue shiny stones. It was a breath of purified air to walk into, and I felt Ryse’s tight muscles un-tense themselves when we had fully entered. It’s a funny thing; the happier he is, the happier I am.

  “Stay here!” The vivacious green queen told us as she ran away and up a set of golden stairs.

  I felt as if I were being safeguarded or confined with all of the men in bright pink – yes, pink – uniforms and shields.

  I tired of staying in the same exact spot for too long and decided to make conversation. “Dear guard, may I ask why you are wearing pink? Presumably it would be because you prefer the color, but seeing that it is a uniform, I must implore upon you to tell me the reason.”

  The guard whom I was directing my speech to shifted in place, touched his collar lightly, then looked at me. “We..” he, I noticed, was caught very off-guard. Oh, I’ve just made a joke on accident. He is a guard. “We are, uh, a… happy kingdom.”

  “A happy kingdom,” another one said.

  “Ha, ha, ha,” another said, quite cynically.

  “I see, so happy,” I alleged. What a nice reaction I received, no?

  Just then Mersades green came flowing down the golden stair as if she were a pail of goo being poured out.

  “My Queen,” all bowed and put their hand over their head as if shielding themselves, out of reverence or something, besides us three of course. I believe we were excused on the behalf of our newness.

  “My dear boy, your father will see you now!” She exclaimed, causing all with ears pain.

  I followed Ryse up the stairs as he followed his green mother named Mersades. Ivy walked close beside me, shivering, even though it was nice and warm at the moment.

  “Lottey,” Ivy whispered at me, “Can I hold your hand? I’m a little frightened, I think.”

  I wasn’t sure if I was to believe him, turn around and slap him, or what. So I just said, “Oh, Ivy, grow up!”

  And he tagged along behind the rest of the trek to the… throne room. I suppose that is what is was. I'd never seen a throne room personally, but I had read about them, and it was, after all, a room with a long red carpet and a big golden throne at the end of it. I can’t imagine that it would be called anything other than a throne room, so that is what I shall refer to it as.

  We entered the throne room behind Mersades who introduced the King’s son to him and completely ignored the fact that the king’s son’s lover and loyal companion were standing right behind him.

  At this point, Ryse being a prince hadn’t really registered. I didn’t know how it could be, and I didn’t know how it couldn’t be, seeing that they had tracked him and his life. But why, I ask you, did they just now bring him in and tell him? Why did they not raise him in the palace as they should have if he were really the prince? A million quadrillion questions were there in my mouth, but I forced myself to chew and swallow for Ryse’s sake.

  There the king sat in front of us. His hair was a graying blonde color, wavy at his shoulders, with nice eyes and a nice gaze. He looked very tired, but also happy, and that made my hopes soar a little I’m afraid. Happiness is a great thing, and I actually appreciate it now, I suppose, compared to what I used to think of it. And I do prefer happiness to smirking and laughing uncontrollably. I think I have the force and will now to smack a smirking person’s face hard enough to erase their memory. Too bad I didn’t have that ability when confronted by the evil smirker, no?

  “Ryse,” the king said, in not so much a bellow, but a word. Not what I expected from a royal king. Although, looking at this king, he seemed different from what I thought a king would be. Lucky for everyone, I suppose. My ideas aren’t always doves in the sky and milk and honey.

  Ryse looked up at the king – his father? – with the strangest look in his eyes I have ever seen. He got down on one knee and sort of… bowed his head.

  How did he know what to do in front of royalty?

  “Please rise before me,” the king said. So far, he had not called him ‘my son’ or anything intimate such as that, so perhaps there was still a chance there was no blood relation. But – what was I thinking? Didn’t I want Ryse to be a prince? Then I could marry him and be a princess, just how I had always planned so long ago. But something about it, I don’t know, made me not want it to be. I almost wanted to be back out in the desert alone with him where we had suffered and found so much–

  But what was I thinking?

  Being royal was better than any mushy moment. Wasn’t it? Or was that little lady Devingrole peeking out of her hole in the ground?

  Ryse stood in the king’s presence and looked at him with a really strange look. My eyes dodged back and forth, and horror got caught in my throat when I realized there was resemblance.

  “Are you my son?” The king asked Ryse.

  And how would he know?

  “My Lord, that is for you to answer,” Ryse said. So perfectly. Even if he wasn’t the real heir or son or what, they were sure to want him anyway. His intellectuals were far past anyone I knew. Besides me… on some occasions, of course.

  I anxiously awaited the king’s answer.

  He stood, the king did, and began walking. Yes, he walked. And towards us, too. I think Ivy was ready to keel over. I tried not to think about my hair, or rather the lack of it, and fluttered closely to Ryse.

  “My son,” the king’s hand went to Ryse’s shoulder.

  The words stretched fifty miles long in a deep and horrendous noise that shook the inside of me to the point of collapsing. I fell onto Ryse’s arm, and in all the confusion that I felt, I said, “Ryse, you’re a prince!”

  My prince, I heard a growl inside of me somewhere.

  “Indeed, a prince,” the king turned to me. “Who might you be?” He asked me, not in a sense of ‘oh son introduce me to girl you plan on marrying’ or anything but sort of along the lines of ‘is she the one who so graciously carried your bags and fixed your food for you while you were in the middle of the desert’ thing. I snorted and held Ryse’s arm tighter.

  “This is Sharlotte Rose…Father,” he said, and his last word sounded so incredibly correct. Not forged or forced or awkward but correct. I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.

  For, I mean, I… could all of this really be happening?

  Green witch lady came running forth and stepped between Ryse and I. I glared at her and felt my body recoil with repulse.

  “Dear Ryse, we brought you here so you could be married!!” She hugged onto his arm, almost as I had. I took a step back and bumped Ivy.

  Ryse looked at me, glanced at me really, and then looked at his father. “Father, I…”

  The naturalness of Ryse with
his father was upsetting my stomach.

  “Oh, dear boy,” his green mother cut in, “we’ll be having a three night masquerade for you! And during one of those nights you can choose a suitable bride! Then, of course you probably already know the rest, in two or three years your father will resign and you will be king!”

  Ryse looked speechless, yet he was trying to talk. “But if I’m to be married, I already have–”

  “We’ll have to have you fitted, of course, not only for the balls but for everyday attired, too, seeing that–”

  “Mother!” Ryse looked inflamed.

  She laughed, after she was over being startled. “Oh, boy, I’m not your mother, I’m your stepmother!”

  Yes, I know, that explains a lot.

  It was Ryse’s turn to look startled. “Okay.” He blinked a few times, staring at his stepmother’s blaring smile. “But I must tell you that I already have someone that I would marry if I had to be betrothed so very soon.”

  What a romantic way to propose to me, right?

  “Who is it, my son? I would not want to force an arranged or forced marriage on you, by any means.”

  At least the king is a smart man. I can’t say the same for his wife, who must be his second wife, and quite arranged I do believe.

  Ryse looked at me, and I looked at him, then we looked at them. The king started a smile but the witch queen laughed. Quite hysterically.

  “Oh, poppycock my boy! You aren’t serious. Can’t be. Why, we couldn’t even get a royal hairdresser to address those things she has hanging from her head.”

  I know it sounds as if I’m bald, and I do feel that way, but I’m not. I look like an old woman with thinning hair and it’s continuously falling out.

  Green witch queen took her step-son by the arm and started dragging him away. I was completely flabbergasted, finding breathing complicated at the moment. Ivy looked like a bull ready to charge (a runt bull) and his nostrils were flaring.

  “You may be of royal flesh, but so his he now, isn’t he? Can’t you let him speak? There’s such a thing called love, you know!” Ivy called. Surprised? So was I. Sort of impressed, might I add.

  The witch queen stopped in mid high-pitch giggle and spun on her heel. “What is your name, impertinent one?”

  Ivy looked excited about being called impertinent. “Ivanm, or Ivy, your majesty,” he lavished.

  “Ivy?” She raised her eyebrows mischievously. “So it is.” She snapped her fingers, and there was a poof of green smoke, and a cackle on her part.

  And there was Ivy. An Ivy.

  She had turned him into a plant.

  I scooped the plant in its nicely painted pot into my arms, burning with rage and the need to know why Ryse wasn’t doing anything. He was killing me there, his stepmother’s arm around him, talking to him and leading him away from me, while he watched me over his shoulder until he was out of sight.

  My lip quivered, out of anger or sadness I wasn’t sure. I was so aghast that I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t really remember how to work my legs, to run after him, or to use my voice to scream to him. So I just stood there, my newly found courage disappearing down the drain.

  “First she thought I was a girl, and now she thinks I’m a plant,” the Ivy whimpered.

  Quite startled, I nearly dropped him. “Plants don’t talk.”

  “This one does.”

  “I’m glad, actually,” I said inattentively. My mind was somewhere beyond time and space, floating in between, mercilessly forgetting me and what I needed to do. That was why I didn’t know what do.

  And, I didn’t notice at the moment, but the king was still standing there in front of his throne.

  “She can be a bit pushy at times.”

  I looked up at him, wondering why he hadn’t said anything to his idiot of a queen, and why he hadn’t reared Ryse where he was supposed to be, if witch queen had known where he had been all along. “What is your name, your royal-ness?” No one had told me. And it was the only thing I could think of to say. I thought maybe if were on the kings good side I could win Ryse and the kingdom. I mean Ryse and his love. Or do I mean his position of power? Do I even know what I mean?

  The king cleared his throat. “I am Theeeb. But you’ll have to call me King Theeeb, of course.”

  I would really rather be calling him father-in-law Theeeb. By the way: Theeeb is pronounced Theb, but he just stretched it out so long that I had to write it correctly. That is of course if I put enough E’s in it.

  “You need to find a new queen.” I bit my tongue right after I said it, and I know it wasn’t my place to say it; but sometimes that old me shines through, blaringly actually, and she does stuff she shouldn’t. It just happens now that she was talking to someone who had the authority to legally have her head chopped off in public.

  “It’s a love-hate relationship,” he suddenly smiled, and his eyes twinkled very strangely. Not oddly strangely but familiarly strangely.

  My heart leapt, and I cringed. In spite of all that, though, somehow I accidentally giggled. That unsettled the emptiness of my shrunken abdomen.

  “Not meaning to pry, may I ask what happened to your hair?” He asked, seemingly in a better mood than I.

  “You may,” I said subtly.

  He smirked for a moment – yes, smirk, but I did control myself – and then asked, “What happened to it?”

  He seemed so much younger than he looked. It made me happier in one way, because I saw Ryse in him and it was wonderful that his sense of humor stayed that long. And if his did, so would Ryse’s, I presumed. “I,” not really knowing how to answer his question, a lump formed in my throat. Was I going to tell him that a master con-artist with the most beautiful face in the world lured me into his trap in his empty castle and then tore my dress and dangled me over his balcony by my hair? “I think my age is getting to me.”

  Oh, my hand is very on fire. I’m putting this dumb quill down and going to sleep.

  I asked Ivy what he thought would happen if I told him to grow up, now. He said not to try it.

  King Theeeb is very nice to me. It has been two days since we’ve arrived here, and two days since I last saw Ryse. I must tell you: if you ever have the desire to go mad, turn your only companion into a plant. He sings to me and waves his vines around even when I tell him that I need some quiet to think. He says I can't step on his toe or wallop him on the head anymore so he isn’t scared of me.

  Did he used to be scared of me?

  I threatened to start picking his leaves off one by one.

  Mersades put me up in this room, up here in this tower. As if I were Rapunzel, waiting for Prince Ryse. It isn’t the loveliest place in castle, regrettably, but at least she didn’t throw me out, which I nearly expected. The way she looks at me with her awful green eyes with this I hate you so leave my house before I turn you into an ugly frog with a pink ribbon look. And I’m sure she’d love to.

  She told me to stay here until I was called to do otherwise. My food is brought to me and I must say that I feel much more like a prisoner than a guest in this castle. But, at least, the colors here are the extreme opposite of Visel’s castle. Why do I keep referring to him? Can I not forget his horrors? Perhaps it’s the fact that I killed him that stays with me. I did kill him. I think. I mean, if I burst into flames like he had I know I would be dead, or wishing I were.

  Anyway. He’s not the topic of his story anymore.

  I hear that the masked ball preparations are being made at this very moment. I’m sure Ryse is being fitted for dashing princely costumes that bring out his lovely eyes and candle-melting smile. And I’m in here with Ivanm the plant wondering if I’ll live past my sixteenth year. That is, into my sixteenth year. I’m not that old yet. But it won’t be long.

  I was summoned to the throne room, believe it or not. Theeeb wanted to see me. He was waiting for me in his high golden throne, hair all pulled back nicely. It’s a shame Mersades has made me a captive, for Theeeb would have ma
de a great father-in-law. What am I saying? He will make a great father-in-law!

  He called me forward, and I stopped and bent down to one knee at the edge of the red carpet with golden fringes. He looked quite pleased. His crown is a bit much for his head, and this is the first time I have ever seen him wear it. Not that I’ve seen him more than once in my lifetime.

  “Lottey,” he stood, throwing me back by knowing my nickname. “I’ve been talking to Ryse about you. He said that come from a good family, noble blood.”

  That was how he knew. But why had Ryse told him that?

  “Yes,” he continued, “he said you are stunning when you have a full head of hair. But he doesn’t really mind it when you look as if you just climbed out of a hole in the ground, because he knows no other young men will be jealous.” He laughed.

  I didn’t.

  “I can see, just from our two encounters together that you seem to be a little power hungry.”

  I know, there is absolutely no way he could know that by now. Unless I was plain and apparent. Well, one must be true to their heart.

  He continued once more, “You said I need a new queen. I believe that I do. So you just stay patient, and wait up in that tower of yours. Something may happen. You never know.”

  He winked, with a hint of a nearly hidden smile. He waited for my reaction, which I struggled to conceal. He had already read me as if I were an open book, or I had screamed in his ear what I had hoped for all my life. Before I had met Ryse. I didn’t know what King Theeeb meant, so I bowed my head with a smile before tromping lightly back up to my tower.

  I am very befogged at the moment. But sometimes the only way to understand something is to leave it alone.

  Mersades gave me this book over four days ago. I haven’t seen her since.

  I’ve been trapped up here with no human contact, which is true because Ivy really doesn’t count. The ability to speak does not make one human.

  I have decided to seek her out, the little lazy, green nauseating, sordid of a female being. Whatever she is. I’m going to find her and ask her something. What am I going to ask her? I don’t know. Something. I know I’ll think of something when I see her puckered face.

  I found her.

  My, how pleasant this nice fresh page is. Why ruin it with the creature from the green and gooey depths of hell? Yes, I’ve decided that hell must be a very green place.

  I left my tower. I climbed down the dozens of stairs there for me to suffer over. I didn’t know where to even begin to look. I am not sure if the servants were told that I wasn’t supposed to be out of my room, but no one told me to get back in there, although they all looked at me as if I had fourteen eyes. But who’s to say I didn’t? I am in the house of a witch, after all.

  I trekked into a room at the far end of this wing in the palace, following the scent of greenness. She was sitting with some little goblin things at her side. It was as if she were telling them a story, and they were listening as if she were there mother. As a matter of fact, they do bear resemblance if I’m so horrid as to say.

  “Mersades!” I screeched. It was an impulse thing. I had always wanted to scream at her.

  She looked at me abruptly, me, standing there sort of crunched like, my tightened fist contorting my arms. She wanted to know why I yelled at her, but I didn’t know.

  “Why am I stuck in a horrid tower.” When I said it, it didn’t even sound like a question. It sounded a little friendly. A friendly complaint.

  She tinkled a laugh. It was worse than sickening.

  “Will you tell your children to stop staring at me,” I spat in repulse.

  “Children,” she patted them. “Don’t stare. It isn’t polite.” She looked at me. “But neither is yelling, I suppose.”

  I stared at her for a few moments. Her, and her… children. “And neither is turning people into plants!” I screeched, as if it were a game of toss.

  They are really her children?

  “I’m so sorry, dear girl. I didn’t realize that regular old human beings were so touchy, and, um, so easily bored.” She mocked me. Deviously she mocked me.

  “I just enjoy social interaction.” My nostrils flared so largely that I could look down and see them.

  “Okay, fine. I’ll set you up some interaction.”

  What she did is humiliating in a way, but at the same time it doesn’t bother me at all. She sent me on my way with the flick of her wrist – convenient, no? – to have a little one on one time with her husband. Now I don’t know why, but it does seem a little odd that she would send a young beauty to entertain the one she’s married to, but then again I’m sure I’m no inferior threat to her while I have no hair.

  I stood tautly at the king’s doorway. I didn’t want to knock, because I didn’t want to be there, even though King Theeeb is the only one beside my missing in action Ryse who understands me– …or at least isn’t cruel and vicious to me. (Once again, the plant does not count. Poor Ivy.) So I stood there. And waited.

  “Miss Lottey, King Theeeeeeeb is expecting you.”

  The door servant used even more e’s than I would have ever foresaw. What a way to get on the king’s good side; flourish and overelaborate his name. Why didn’t I think of that?

  The door servant led me to where Theeeb was sitting, on an elongated settee, with his feet propped up on one that wasn’t elongated. He was eating grapes.

  What a classic scene.

  “Lottey, please do come in.”

  So, he was still calling me Lottey. If he were trying to get on my good side he might try flourishes.

  I stepped further into the room, and elaborate room at that. As I was looking around, I chanced upon Theeeb’s feet. They were wrapped and bandaged, and I supposed that was why he was so propped up.

  “Yes,” he laughed, as soon as I noticed. “I wouldn’t normally be lounging about like this.”

  Something admirable in a king.

  “I’m afraid though,” he continued, “that it isn’t as humorous a scene as it seems. I’ve taken a fall on my horse and broken both of my ankles just as war has been declared on our kingdom.”

  It took me a second to breath it all in. War was declared and no one told me. How could I miss something like that? And with King Theeeb being injured at the same time, it’s a wonder I wasn’t thrown out the door to fight off the enemies. That’s how loved I feel. But, no– it took me flying down from my tower and ranting at greeny and her plant children to even find out! Incredible. I couldn’t find words to speak.

  Theeeb could, however. “Yes… and because of all this rather abrupt nonsense, I fear I have to give up the throne sooner than I had hoped.”

  I stood bleakly, not sure what to think still. “So… Ryse doesn’t have to marry, then?” I hoped. This was all so fanatical.

  “No, he does… the masked ball has been pushed to tonight.”

  I screamed inside my head. Without waiting for an invitation I sat down on the quaint little couch behind me. “How am I supposed to find a dress so soon?” I asked, testing him.

  “You wish to go?” An eyebrow was raised.

  As if he didn’t know. “Um, yes,” I said assumingly. “Seeing as I haven’t even seen Ryse since I was blown off, yes, I do,” I finished. Quite prominently, too.

  Just then, as if she had been eavesdropping all along, Mersades popped out of thin air right between the king and I. Theeeb didn’t look surprised, but I was rather startled.

  “Can you give me a moment or three alone with my husband?” She asked, stingingly persuasively.

  I gathered my skirt and turned around, but not without a dirty glance at the witch queen first. I managed to toss Theeeb a hurt and confused one. After turning the corner and I was out of sight, I stopped walking. There were no servants around and I wasn’t about to give up a chance to wreak revenge upon Mersades now that I had the chance. If she had the privilege of eavesdropping, so did I.

  “She knows him too well, you giddy old fool! If you were mor
e cautious maybe we’d be able to get through this without it blowing up in our faces.” Mersades’ voice was cold and low. But it was a sweeter sound than one would expect.

  “Oh, my dear, vile queen… if you were cautious, maybe you wouldn’t have to blame every mishap on me.” Theeeb was constantly cheery. It made me happy to hear him speak, and it reminded me of Ryse. Not that Ryse was always cheery, but I suppose it was the same balance as the king. His father. “And Mersades, who would believe that he was simply a clone anyway? It sounds rather preposterous in itself.” He chuckled.

  But I didn’t. Not quite understanding, I tried to stretch my ear. They were talking of very weird things, that were stupid and unbelievable– and that was exactly what Theeeb had pointed out. No one would believe that he was a clone.

  What and who were they talking about?

  “But this girl is strange,” Mersades hissed. “She’d tell Ryse as soon as she found out, if she ever did. She has a knack for getting in and out of trouble in odd ways.”

  Ahhhh––– Ryse was a clone?

  I must emphasize that there are absolutely no words to explain how and what I felt, or to console my sudden grief. So what am I supposed to write?

  My eyes rolled back in my head as my eyelids flutter helplessly over them.

  Ryse was a clone of Theeeb. The king was not his father. Ryse was his father.

  What were they planning on doing with that? I continued listening.

  “If Ryse married her, you would have to study Ryse even more closely. She’ll know if it’s not him. There’s no telling how… intimate they are.”

  I blushed and panicked in the same moment. I hated Mersades so that my blood boiled with every word she said– and I still didn’t quite understand what they were talking about. Clones and marriage and people being the same people as other people.

  “Well maybe we could explain the transformation to her– it will be the same person after all… she might understand.” Theeeb liked me. He wanted Ryse to marry me– he wanted to marry me.

  This is all so confusing. I do believe I understand though.

  Ryse is a clone of Theeeb who plans on re-inhabiting Ryse’s body so that he can reign again. Wait… has he come up with a foolproof plan to rule his kingdom forever? So he’ll clone himself to the end of time??

  I do believe he could, in fact. I don’t support it, of course. But I believe in him greatly and that his plan could’ve succeeded. And I am glad it happened, too, because if it hadn’t than the only Ryse that existed would be three times my age. So yes, his plan could have worked. That is… if I hadn’t found out about it.

  My deviating little self.

  But how am I supposed to stop them? I am, of course. I’m going to try until my heart drops to my stomach. Only Visel could stop me. Or not being able to find Ryse, whom I don’t the whereabouts at the moment. That could present very problematic.

  Chapter Nine