by Lexi Blake
He thrust hard inside her, filling her up in a way nothing else ever could. She bit her lip against calling out. The last thing she wanted to do was scare him away. He seemed to have momentarily forgotten she was delicate.
She gripped the table and tilted her pelvis back.
He slapped her ass, sending a thrill up her spine that made her groan.
“Hold still.” His voice had taken on a desperate tone.
He was as on the edge as she was.
They were in the same place. He was standing there with her, looking at a future where they weren’t together, where his lies had pushed them both over and she hadn’t trusted him enough to hold on.
This was why she was happy with the way he’d chosen to fuck her. She wasn’t sure she could have handled looking him in the eyes.
“You feel so good.” He thrust in and dragged that big cock of his out again. “Not one thing in this world ever fit me the way you do.”
He fucked her hard, giving her what she’d been craving for months. She needed this. She couldn’t get through the days without this. She held on to the table and rode the wave. When he reached from behind and his fingers found the piercing that sat against her clitoris, she screamed out his name as the rush took her.
She felt him come, his body stiffening and then relaxing.
For a moment there was nothing but the sound of their breathing, the sweet languor of her body after orgasm. It had been so intense, and now the comedown was every bit as fierce as the high.
“Let’s go to bed. That’s where we need to be.” Henry’s hand started to move up her body, sliding over her belly. He stopped and suddenly stood up. “Nell, I’m so sorry. Was I too rough?”
She forced herself to breathe. The moment was over, and she was faced with all her problems again. They hadn’t gone away and she’d known they wouldn’t, but somehow she’d thought if they could connect this way again, things might become clearer.
The only thing that was clear was how her world had turned upside down.
“I’m fine.” It seemed to be the only thing she was capable of saying these days. She was fine. She wasn’t going to fail again.
God, had she thought that? She hadn’t failed. Her body hadn’t failed. She wasn’t less of a woman. She knew those things and yet there was a part of her that still managed to feel them.
She was going to be alone. She was going to be her mother, all alone and trying to raise a child when the world saw her as something not normal, as something of a fool.
“Baby, I was too rough. I don’t know what I was thinking. Hell, I wasn’t thinking at all. I was being a selfish ass.” His hand ran down her back. “Let me get you in the bathtub. You can soak and I’ll call Caleb again.”
She pushed herself off the table, feeling infinitely older than she’d been before. She pulled up her skirt, settling it around her again. Normally she would simply walk around naked, but it didn’t feel right now. There was a distance between them, and it wasn’t all about his lies. It had been growing since before she discovered he wasn’t who she’d thought he was. “I’ll go take a shower. Don’t call Caleb. I’m fine. Every single thing I’ve read tells me sex is safe during a pregnancy. I’m not fragile.” The sound of a knock at the door startled her and reminded her that the world was still turning outside. “I’ll be right there.”
“Hush. They’ll go away,” Henry said, his voice going low.
She pulled on her blouse, buttoning it with shaky fingers. “Not if they’re looking for you. Isn’t that what you said? Those men were looking for you. The one you killed today was looking for you. We’ll be lucky if they don’t come in with guns blazing.”
She felt apart from herself, like she wasn’t real. The sarcasm coming out of her mouth wasn’t her style and yet she couldn’t stop the bitterness from bubbling over.
“Hey, Henry!” a familiar voice called. “Do you answer your phone, man? I’ve been calling for an hour.”
Henry’s jaw had turned to granite. “Go away, Max.”
“He can’t,” another voice said. Rye Harper had apparently accompanied his brother. “Rach told us both not to come home until we fixed the barn door. If you’ll let us use the drill, I promise I’ll make sure it gets back to you.”
“Hopefully in one piece.” Max’s face suddenly appeared at the window, his hand over his eyes to block the sunlight so he could see inside. “Put your shirt on, dude.”
“Damn it.” A hand came out and pulled Max away. “Never mind, Henry. You two have a good afternoon.”
“But he promised,” Max was saying. “And Nell’s already knocked up, so I don’t know what the big deal is.”
Well, that had gotten around pretty fast. “What did you promise Max?”
She straightened her skirt. Her body hummed pleasantly, but she didn’t think she could stand spending the next two hours with Henry hovering over her, apologizing for treating her like a woman and not some sickly patient. Telling her nothing had changed, and she should ignore the fact that she’d seen him standing over a dead body like a lion looming over his kill.
“I promised him I would help him fix his barn door. But he can do it himself,” Henry swore. “We’re going to make you comfortable and I’m going to behave like a good husband. I’m going to tell you everything.”
She didn’t think she could stand listening to him tell her his story either. She needed time. Maybe if he’d been willing to take her to bed and distract her, she might have been talked into it. But she had to process the first blow before she could handle anything more. “Go with him.”
His eyes widened. “No. We need to talk. People are going to know the truth soon, and I want you to know first.”
After Seth and Logan. After Nate and Cam. After Georgia. Probably some other people. She was far down on Henry’s need-to-know list. “I need time to think. I won’t go anywhere, and I won’t lock you out. But I need a couple of hours before I’m ready to talk to you. Please go with Max and Rye. Give me some space.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. If I go with them, I’ll end up talking to them. See. That’s one way I’m not the man I was. I’ll be too tempted to talk to them, and I owe you the truth first.”
She’d asked nicely. She’d told him what she needed, and now it was time to assert herself. Did he think she’d forgotten how to do this? She’d simply never had to do it with him. She walked to the door and flung it open as Rye and Max were about to get into their truck.
“What are you doing?” Henry moved in behind her, tugging his shirt over his head.
“Helping you out, dear.” She stepped on the porch. “Max, Rye, Henry is going to come with you. He needs some advice about how to tell his wife that he lied to her about his whole past and he’s some kind of superspy who likes to assassinate people. He killed a man today at the Feed Store Church, but it’s okay because he’s got law enforcement on his side. So take him away before I go back on my vow of nonviolence.”
Rye threw his head back and laughed. “That’s a good one.”
“What do you think you’re doing?” Henry stared down at her.
She stared right back. She hadn’t been intimidated when threatened with guns or Tasers, and she’d had her fair share of pepper spray to the eyes. She wasn’t going to allow her husband to intimidate her. “You had a problem. I solved it. Now everyone will know and you don’t have to worry.”
Rye was still laughing, but Max put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I don’t think she’s kidding, brother.”
Henry wasn’t even looking their way. “This is not how I wanted it to go.”
That was so sad for him. “Do you not get to control the narrative this way? I’ll be honest. I don’t care how you wanted this to go down. You can go with Max and Rye or you can go on your own, but I need a few hours alone. If you don’t give them to me, I’ll pack a bag and leave.”
She would almost have sworn she heard a growl coming from her husband.
“Or I can
pick you up and take you back inside.”
She faced him down. “And then you better hope you don’t sleep, Henry. Or Bishop. Or whoever you are.”
“You know exactly who I am. I’m your husband and I love you.” He backed off slightly. “I’ll go with them, but I swear, Nell, don’t try to leave. It’s dangerous and I’ll find you.”
She wasn’t stupid. If anyone was going to leave, it would be him. This was her cabin. Sure he’d been the one to restore it. He’d been the one who’d learned how to keep up the chinking and make the place safer and warmer in the winter. He’d put the shop together with his own two hands. But this was her home.
She had to figure out what she wanted.
She heard him stalk down the steps.
Nell walked back into the cabin and closed the door. When she heard the truck drive away, she was finally alone.
And finally able to cry.
* * * *
“Henry, I would like to point out that it was Max who was supposed to return all those tools he borrowed from you. I only borrowed that set of wrenches once, and I returned them quickly.” Rye Harper kept a careful distance from Henry. Since they’d gotten to the Harper Stables and Henry had made it plain that he was absolutely going to fix the barn door and anyone who tried to stop him was in trouble, Rye had watched him carefully.
Rye was scared of him. Good for fucking Rye because everyone should be afraid of him right now. He was angry. Brutally angry. Angry at himself. Angry at the fucking cartel that couldn’t stay away. Angry at the world because Nell was supposed to be his reward. After everything he’d gone through there should be a fucking reward, and she shouldn’t be able to change her mind because she’d found out he wasn’t perfect.
She’d seen him kill a man. She might never look at him the same way again.
He pulled the old latch off with far more strength than he needed to use and it went flying across the yard, barely missing Rye, who jumped out of the way.
“Sorry.” He wasn’t really sorry. There was still a part of him that thought if Max and Rye hadn’t shown up, he would have found a way to get through to his wife.
“No problem.” Rye gave him the same slow nod a man might give a hungry grizzly bear who was slowly walking past him. Nothing to see here, mighty predator. Just walk on by.
Max merely rolled his eyes. “It’s Henry, Rye. Stop acting like we’re in the presence of a serial killer. He’s Henry Flanders, and if he was going to kill me, he would have done it a long time ago. Hey, Henry, you going to teach me that neck thing you do? I got a couple of people I could use it on.”
At least Max was still Max. He’d taken the whole thing with a shrug and asked Henry if he needed a beer—which he’d turned down. Nell couldn’t drink so he shouldn’t either. Even though if he could ever have found solace in a bottle of Scotch, it would be now. But what if she needed him? What if they had to go to the hospital again?
“No, I will not teach you how to kill people.” He couldn’t imagine taking Max Harper on as a mentee. He’d had enough trouble with young Taggart, and Max was even worse. He set down the hammer. He’d had to use the claw even after he’d managed to get the bolts out. That sucker had taken root and it took force to get it off.
Maybe that’s what he should do. He would simply squat in his own home and vigorously protest any attempts at removal. Could one squat a marriage? If anyone could understand the power of protest, it was his wife.
“Come on, Henry. You know how bad it can get around here,” Max argued.
Rye stared his way. “So the guy who came after Gemma didn’t trip.”
He bit back a groan. He should write a full confession for the Bliss Gazette and then maybe he could stop answering this question. “No. I killed him because he’d shot Jesse, tried to kill me, and my wife was unprotected at the time. So I took the easy route and severed his spine at the C0-C1 joint, and then I left him on the forest floor because I didn’t give a shit.”
“See, how do you even find that joint thingee?” Max had the new latch in his hand but seemed far more interested in the conversation than the task that had been of utmost importance a mere hour before. “Do they have a class on that? How did they find you? The CIA, I mean.”
The Harper twins were proving the two problems he would have with the people around him. One part would be afraid of him. The other would be frustratingly curious about his past.
“I was in the Army. The Special Forces team I was on worked a couple of jobs with the Agency. They recruited me from there.” He hated how grim he sounded. He didn’t sound like himself—the himself he wanted to be, the one he liked to be.
Rye shook his head like he was trying to clear it. “You were in the Army?”
Max turned his brother’s way. “You forget so easily, man. Do you remember when he first came here? You remember how suspicious you were because he didn’t act like a dude who taught history at a sleepy college.”
He thought he’d been pretty good with that persona. “You know you’re giving in to stereotypes. Exactly how is a sleepy-town college professor supposed to act?”
Rye ignored him completely. “Yeah, but all his records checked out, and Bill vouched for him.”
“Of course his records checked out. He’s a good spy. He’s not a dummy spy. He’s got all kinds of ways to fool the system.” Max sounded more excited with every word. “See, I don’t view this as a bad or scary thing. He’s Henry and he’s always been the most helpful guy in town. Now he can help me in different ways.”
“I’m not assassinating anyone.” He knew exactly where Max’s brain would go. Oddly, Max’s normalcy was helping him calm down. Not everyone would look at him like he was some kind of monster. But he would have to put up with Max’s insane requests.
“Now don’t say that so fast. We have some obnoxious tourists,” Max replied. “Most of them from Texas.”
Yeah, he hadn’t mentioned that part. “I was actually born in Houston.”
Max groaned.
“I thought you were from Ohio,” Rye said with a shake of his head.
Ohio had seemed as middle of the road as a state could be. Everyone recognized it, but no one really knew what a person from Ohio was supposed to be. Unlike his home state. Especially in Colorado. Coloradans weren’t overly enthusiastic about Texans. Probably because they tended to come in, buy up all the land for their vacation homes, and then generally act like…well, like Texans. “Ohio blended in better.”
Rye seemed to still be catching up. “Does Bill know?”
Fuck. He was going to get Bill in trouble. Bill had been his contact here. Bill had built a whole life for himself, and he’d welcomed Henry with open arms. Bill had been the one who’d advised him to choose again, to make the decision that his life didn’t have to keep going the way it had gone, that a life well lived was one of conscious will.
He’d found Nell because of Bill.
“Of course Bill doesn’t know,” Max started.
Rye frowned and looked at Henry, though his expression had gone from wary to slightly excited. Like he’d figured something out. “Bill was in the Army. He was your CO, wasn’t he?”
Well, Rye had been the town’s sheriff for years. No one had ever said he wasn’t a smart man. “Yes.”
“Dude, does Bill know how to do all the stuff you do?” Max’s eyes had gone wide. “Does he do it naked? Because the naked thing would throw me off. When you think about it, it’s probably a good tactic. I would be terrified of a naked man trying to break my neck. And also, he wouldn’t have to worry about his clothes. Do you think that’s why he opened the naked resort?”
Rye had gotten all the brains in the family.
“Bill was strictly military, though he knew I worked for the Agency. I asked him to keep my secret. It’s all on me.” He couldn’t stand the thought of anyone turning against Bill because of him.
“That’s why you came here.” Rye’s tone had gone so much softer. “You came to see Bill. That�
�s why you go up the mountain and visit him every week. He’s your family.”
Bill had been good to him over the years. “He was the only friend I could talk to at the time. He’s a good man. I hope no one gets upset with him for keeping my secret. I know you’re not going to believe this, but I’m no danger to you.”
Rye sighed and shook his head. “You’re Henry. I’m sorry. It threw me for a loop, but Max is right. I knew something had changed in you when you came back. The first time you were here, there was something dangerous about you. I don’t normally run checks on tourists, but I did on you. When you came back, you were a different person.”
“Because he fell for Nell,” Max continued. “Like how I got so much nicer after we married Rach.”
Rye snorted. “Sure you did. You got smarter because you suddenly had a leash.” Rye leaned against one of the fence posts that separated the barn area from the big pasture. “I’m sorry if I freaked out. Max is right. Nothing has changed except you’ll have some interesting stories to tell over a couple of beers.”
“Most of those stories are classified.” He had so much to worry about beyond the cartel coming after him. “My whole life before I came here was classified. I didn’t exactly resign from the Agency. I wouldn’t have been allowed to. I knew too much.”
There would have been too many consequences. He wouldn’t have simply been allowed to walk away back then.
“How did you get away?” Rye asked.
“Blew up a car. Faked my death.” He’d had help, but he couldn’t talk about those Special Forces soldiers who’d risked a lot to get him out.
“What kind of car?” Max looked like a kid at Christmas. “How did you blow it? Could you do the same to Mel’s old clunker? It’s a menace. When you’re behind it you get a little high off the fumes coming out of that thing.”
Rye nodded. “That’s not a bad idea. Mel thinks the fumes keep the aliens away. He’ll think they’re fighting back. We’ll totally get away with it.”
If he didn’t watch it, he would get pulled into all the twins’ plans. “I don’t think Nate would like it if we started blowing up things.”