Risking It All

by Melissa Stevens

  She narrowed her eyes a moment then continued. “Have you had coffee yet?” Ma asked as she stepped back and looked him up and down.

  “One cup, but I’m always up for more.”

  “As bad as your daddy with the coffee. He’ll drink it all day if I let him.” Ma shook her head but went to the cabinet and pulled down a mug. “Still drink it black?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Thorne glanced around the kitchen, knowing there had to be more to do. “What’s next?”

  “There’s a lot, but nothing pressing. Let’s sit down for a few. If you want, you can peel the potatoes while we have our coffee.”

  “No problem, where are they?”

  “That bag over there.” She waved one hand at the ten-pound bag of russets in the corner before picking up both mugs and carrying them to the small breakfast table.

  Thorne gathered what he’d need and took it all to the table before sitting across from Mom.

  “Tell me about you.” Ma eyed him as she sipped her coffee.

  “Not a lot to tell, Ma. I teach school, I come home and grade their work. I got to school the next day.” He took a drink, closing his eyes for a moment as he let the dark, rich brew flow through his senses, then set the cup aside and picked up a potato.

  “That’s all? No life? No friends? No fun? You never go out?”

  Thorne shook his head and chuckled as he went to work peeling. “I go out once in a while and I have friends. Most of them are married though, so it’s either take them away from their families or feel like a fifth wheel.”

  “Not a third?”

  “Third wheels can be useful, Ma, fifth are just redundant. I do it once in a while, but I feel guilty if I try to pull them away too often.”

  “No girlfriend? Don’t you want to get married some day? Maybe give me grandbabies?”

  He had to give her credit, he was thirty, and this was the first he was hearing about her asking for grandchildren. Maybe because Yeats was still in school.

  “There is this one woman.” Thorne found himself talking before he’d planned to. “I like her, a lot, but I have to move slow.”

  “Tell me about her.” Ma leaned back in her seat and watched him.

  Thorne focused on the work his hands were doing as he spoke.

  “She’s amazingly strong, yet sensitive. She’s a new teacher this year, her classroom is across the hall from mine, that’s how I met her.” He glanced up at Ma to gauge her reaction before looking back to what he was doing. “She’s calm and patient. Most of the students love her, which in high school could mean a few things.”

  “She’s hot, that’s the word you guys are using now right?” Ma wore a small smile, waiting for his reaction.

  “That’s all it would take for the boys to like her, yeah. And I can’t argue that, she’s pretty sexy. That’s the word I prefer.” He scowled at Ma for just a moment. “But that’s not it. She has a passion and, I don’t know, fire, about English that she can make most of the kids care. High school English can be one of the most boring classes on Earth, or if you have a good teacher it can be fun. Nancy makes it fun.”

  “Nancy? That’s an unusual name for a kid these days.”

  “Like Hawthorne isn’t? Or Frost, or Yeats?” He didn’t give Ma a chance to respond but didn’t miss the flush that spread across her cheeks. “Besides, she’s not a kid. I’d guess she’s somewhere between my age and Frost’s.”

  “That’s an uncommon age for the first year teaching.” Ma tilted her head to one side. “Usually it’s much younger or much older.”

  Thorne agreed, but he understood Nancy’s delay. Ma wasn’t wrong, usually first year teachers were either right out of college or second career, and in their late thirties or forties. She was fishing for more information, but he wasn’t biting.

  “Anyway. I’m getting to know her, letting her get comfortable before I ask her out.”

  “What if she’s not interested? What if you spend all this time waiting and she’s not the one?”

  “Then she’s not the one.” He looked up and met Ma’s gaze. “Ma. She’s the one. I just have to wait until she’s ready.” He paused, half expecting her to say something more, but she didn’t just sipped her coffee and waited. “On the plus side, she’s already got kids.”

  “Oh?” Ma’s eyes widened. “She’s divorced?” It was an easy, and normally not wrong, assumption to make.

  “No, widowed. Her husband was killed in the military. I don’t know much, she doesn’t talk about it much. Only that it was a shock and he left her with four small kids.”

  “Four? How small?” Ma leaned forward, interested now.

  Thorne was quiet a moment as he tried to figure out ages from when he’d seen all the kids at the park that day.

  “Between maybe a year and six or seven. They're older now. The baby looks about three.”

  “That poor dear. Does she have any family in the area?”

  “A brother is all I know about. She has other family, but not close. And her husband’s parents have been no help. From what I’ve picked up, they blame her for his death.”

  “That poor thing. She’s had a rough time of it hasn’t she? I feel for her.” Ma fell quiet. Thorne kept peeling potatoes, making his way through the bag one by one. “So it’s been about two years?”

  “About that.”

  “That’s good. If it were recent she wouldn’t be ready.”

  “I’m not sure she’s ready yet. She’s still wearing her wedding ring. And I’m not going to push. My plan is to ease in. Be her friend, her best friend if I can manage it. Just slowly make myself indispensable to her. Not that she needs me. But I want to be there for her, help her, and take care of her if she’ll let me.” He shook his head as he thought about her. “She’s one of the strongest women I’ve known. Most would be left irreparably broken if that had happened to them, and while I don’t doubt she was broken, at least for a while, she’s picked up the pieces and is working her ass off to make a good life for her kids.”

  “I’m glad you think you’ve found the one. I wish you luck and can’t wait till you bring her around. And those babies. Babies need spoiling.”

  “They’re not babies anymore. Tommy is in the third grade. That’s her oldest.”

  “He’s not grown and on his own, he’s still a baby.” Ma sniffed. “He’d benefit from more people to love and care about him.”

  “He would.” Thorne couldn’t argue there. “They all could.”

  “One thing you need to think about though,” Ma set her empty mug aside and leaned close. She wanted him to pay close attention. “If she’s already got kids will she want more? More than that, will you be content to raise hers, without having any of your own, if she’s not?” Ma leaned back but didn’t take her eyes off him. “I’ll not take sides either way, but you need to think about that. Decide where you stand before you get too involved in her life, before you become indispensable to her.”

  Thorne finished peeling the last potato and dropped it in the bowl with the others before he sat back and stared at Ma for a while. Damn. She’s right. That hadn’t occurred to him and she was right it was something he needed to make sure he was all right with before he made a place in her life, and the kids’ lives, for him. Offhand he’d say it didn’t matter, he would be okay with it, but deep down he knew this was something he needed to spend time with to be absolutely certain he would be okay with. Because it was something that could destroy them both if he was wrong.

  “I hadn’t thought about it, but you’re right, Ma. I’ll see her Monday and nothing will change, either way I want to be her friend, but I’ll think about it. I’ll figure it out before I do anything that will hurt either her or her kids.”

  “Good.” Ma pushed herself to her feet. “Now I’ve got to get started on your brother.”

  The temptation was too strong. Thorne stood and picked up his bowl.

  “Already Ma? You always threatened to cut it off if we got a girl pregnant in high sc
hool, now you’re going to encourage Yeats to do just that? Getting a little desperate, aren’t you?”

  “Oh you!” She gasped and slapped at him with a towel. “You know I was talking about Frost, you scoundrel!” She laughed a moment and Thorne took advantage of her distraction to carry the bowl of potatoes to the sink and turn on the water.

  “What pan you want these in?”

  “The big pot. It’s over there next to the stove.”

  Thorne fetched the pot and brought it back, he set it on the counter next to the cutting board he’d already taken out and started chopping the potatoes, dropping them in the pot as he got done.

  “I won’t be ready to cook those for a while yet, but it’ll be nice that they’re ready.”

  He finished cutting them then put the pot in the sink and put in enough water to cover the potatoes before lifting it out.

  “Which burner?”

  “The back one, but it’s easier if you add the water on the stove.”

  “Why?” he frowned.

  “Cause I have a hard time lifting the pan full of potatoes and water.”

  He didn’t roll his eyes, he just picked it up and set it on the stove.

  “Show off.”

  “I’ll take it off for you too.”

  “Thank you.”

  “What about the sweet potatoes, I know those need to get started soon so we can peel them.”

  “They do.” She talked him through getting the sweet potatoes started while she refilled her coffee cup and went back to the table. “I could get used to this. You cook and I’ll sit here and give directions.”

  “I’m okay with that, Ma. Just tell me what to do.”

  “Grab that apron over there. You need to start the bread next.” She nodded to the hook next to the back door where several aprons hung. Thorne did as he was told and got to work.

  Thorne got the bread set to rise and was working on the dressing when Charlie and Dad came in.

  “How’s dinner coming?” Dad took one look at Thorne behind the stove and frowned. His eyes skipped across the room until he found Ma sitting at the table, her feet propped up. “Are you all right? Did something happen?”

  “I’m fine, nothing happened. Thorne offered to cook while I sit here and tell him what to do. I never had anyone who wanted to spend time in the kitchen with me, at least no one who wasn’t under foot half the time, instead of helping, I thought I’d give it a try.”

  “That apron looks amazing on you, bro.” Charlie gave him a lopsided grin. Thorne looked down and noticed what it said for the first time. ‘Kiss the Cook’.

  “Thanks, sis, want to come give me a kiss?” He turned one cheek toward her so she could.

  “I’ll hold out till after we eat. See if I survive.” Charlie shot him a satisfied grin, thinking she’d won the exchange, and maybe she had, but a battle was not the war. And there was always a verbal war between the two of them.

  Thorne considered flipping her off but decided to wait. He’d have a chance to say or do something that would shut her up later, he knew. He just had to bide his time.

  “Charlotte Ann!” Ma snapped. “You’re tracking mud all over my clean floor. Boots off and clean that up right now.”

  Thorne kept his mouth shut and kept working, but he couldn’t help the small surge of satisfaction that rushed through him that Ma had jumped all over Charlie. He knew better than to gloat though, then Ma would be all over him.

  Dad looked at him as if he wasn’t sure about what he was seeing then turned back to Ma.

  “You sure you’re all right? You’ve not been hurting or anything?”

  “No, Paul, I’m fine. Go on into the living room and turn on your game. If you’re done with chores then Frost should be too, he’ll be here soon.”

  “If you’re sure.” He started for the living room then stopped and looked around. “Where’s Yeats? Why isn’t he in here with you?”

  “He’s around somewhere,” Ma said. “I saw him this morning.”

  “I haven’t seen him.” Thorne shrugged. He’d figured his brother was holed up in his bedroom with either a video game or a phone, at his age it had been difficult to keep him off the phone with Tiffany. Tiffany. Thorne smiled to himself at the memory. He hadn’t thought about her in longer than he could remember. At sixteen he’d been certain she would be his wife and by now they’d have their two point three kids and be settled somewhere living happily ever after.

  “What’s on your mind?” Ma’s voice pulled him back to the present. Thorne glanced up and found her watching him, Dad and Charlie both gone.

  “I was just thinking about when I was Yeats’ age.”

  “Must have been pretty good thoughts.”

  “I thought he might be on the phone, I remembered how at that age you could barely get me off the phone with Tiffany. I wonder what’s she’s up to these days?”

  “She got married a couple years ago. To some guy in Colorado. Her mom told me last month Tiffany just had a baby, she’s a new grandma.”

  Thorne narrowed his eyes at the cutting board a moment then paused and looked up at Ma with one lifted brow.

  “Is that why the sudden interest in grandkids?”

  “No. I’ve been wanting grandchildren for a while. I’ve been waiting for you to find your place, to settle down and be ready to start a family. I’ve also been waiting for Yeats to get older, so I’m not spending as much time raising him as I have been. You know things get easier, and harder, when your kid gets a driver’s license? It makes your days easier when they can go and do without you, but it’s so hard not to worry every time they leave the house.”

  Thorne didn’t know what to say to that, instead he just kept working.

  “I’m glad you waited until you were established and ready before starting a family. Besides. I wouldn’t have enjoyed grandkids as much as I can now if you’d started having them ten years ago. Yeats was just starting school.” Ma shook her head. “That would have been hard to really enjoy.”

  Chapter 13

  “This guy Warren was questioning you about? Are you actually seeing him, even thinking about it or was he just being a pain in the ass?”

  Nancy rolled her eyes. She and Hayley had gotten up early, disgustingly early, to hit sales. Now they were standing in line at Target, waiting for their turn to check out. But Nancy had scored several great gifts for the kids so she was in a better mood than the day before.

  “My brother is an ass. He enjoys tormenting me just because he can.”

  “So there’s nothing between you and the other teacher?”

  “He’s friendly, I’ve seen him outside of work a whopping two times, once was at homecoming. The other was when I’d taken the kids to the park, Tommy found him running and got excited. He made sure to let Thorne know we were there. We talked a few minutes and he went home.” Nancy shook her head. “I’m not sure why Warren thinks he’s my next beau. I’m not ready for that. I’m not ready for someone else.” She looked down at her hand and the ring still sitting on her third finger. “I can’t even take off my wedding band.” Her voice cracked but she didn’t care. It was all she could do to keep the tears from welling in her eyes.

  Hayley didn’t say anything and Nancy took a moment to close her eyes and take a deep breath. This was not the place to fall apart. There was a point in time when she’d been unable to do anything, even get groceries, without occasionally losing control, but she’d gotten past that. At least she’d thought she had.

  It didn’t take long. A few breaths and she’d regained control. But she’d didn’t want to talk about Thomas, not here, and maybe not any time soon.

  “It looks like we’ll get out of here in about half an hour or so, you have another store in mind?”

  “No this was my big stop.”

  “Want to go back and rescue Warren or want to stop and get breakfast?”

  That was all the encouragement Nancy needed.

  “You mean sit down to a leisurely meal, that�
��s not timed, with another adult and no children I’m expected to control? I’m in.”

  “Great. What do you want to eat?”

  “I’m not picky, I’ll be glad just to be able to eat while it’s still hot.”

  Hayley laughed.

  “How’s Angie’s?”

  “Sounds great.”

  Conversation turned to safe things, how the kids were doing in school, their favorite TV shows, and what was on the radio these days while they waited their turn at the register.

  Angie’s wasn’t as busy as Nancy expected. She’d figured there would be a lot of people going out for breakfast after early morning shopping, but only about half the tables were filled. The rare occasion she came out for breakfast, that’s about what she saw here. Granted it wasn’t often and it had been a long time since she’d felt up to wrestling the kids out the door so early.

  They found a table and placed their orders, then sat chatting while they waited.

  “Ms. Fisher!” A girl of about fifteen waived from a couple tables away. Nancy waved back.

  “One of your students?” Hayley glanced at the girl then turned back to Nancy.

  “Yeah. I’m not really used to it yet but I get stopped now and then while I’m out. It’s usually nice, though once I had someone who wanted to chew me out for not giving her son an A when he hadn’t even bothered to pretend to do the assignment. He didn’t even bother to turn in the paper assigned.” Nancy shook her head. “Still, the good ones,” she tilted her head toward where the girl sat with what looked like her family, “far outweigh the not so good.”

  “I get it. We get stopped outside our work hours too. It’s something you get used to.”

  “It may take me a while.”

  They were still waiting for their food when the bells on the door jingled. Nancy looked up out of habit more than anything, and spotted Thorne coming in. For just a moment she had an urge to hide her face, to hide so he wouldn’t see her and maybe stop. She realized it was foolish. It was embarrassment from Warren’s questioning that gave her the urge and she quickly pushed it away.