Dating My Best Friend: A Second Chance Romance

by Annie J. Rose

  “You really stepped in it, didn’t you?” I murmured to myself.

  I scratched behind Piper’s ear before we headed into the house. It had been a whirlwind of a day being back, and I needed some rest. I closed the front door behind me and locked it. Piper jumped up, nudging the lights on as she made her way around the house. I grinned as the lights flicked on, illuminating my childhood home.

  House, really. It didn’t much feel like a home.

  I walked into the kitchen and stood in the middle of it. Everywhere I looked, there was dust. I opened the cabinets, and the plates were coated in it. I picked up a mug, and they were filled with it. I walked over to the fridge and opened it up, staring at the bare expanse.

  Nothing in it.

  Kind of like my soul.

  “What do you think about pizza for dinner?” I asked.

  Piper barked as she came rushing into the kitchen.

  “Yeah, yeah. I gotta get your food out of the bed of the truck. You hungry, girl? Yes, you are. I bet you are, sweet girl.”

  I dipped down and let her lick my face. I scratched behind her ears and patted down her back. I sat on my ass and let her run me over, my back falling to the kitchen floor. The dust was almost too much. I’d have to clean this place up or have it professionally cleaned. One or the other. Then again, I didn’t sleep much most nights. If it wasn’t insomnia, it was nightmares waking me up every hour.

  I had enough time to clean it myself if I wanted to.

  “All right,” I grunted as I stood up, “first, we get you some food. Then, we get me some food. Then, we clean. How’s that sound?”

  Piper barked before she started whimpering.

  “I know, I know. You don’t like vacuums. But really. Have you seen this place?”

  She sighed and flopped down at my feet, which made me chuckle.

  “You can’t keep me here all night, Pipes. This house needs a good clean-down. No matter how you feel about it.”

  She yawned before grumbling at me, and I reached down to pet her head.

  “I promise I won’t run the vacuum for long. Just enough to make this place smell a little less musty.”

  Then, I made my way for the front door, ready to unpack the bed of my truck, get Piper some food, and then order myself a nice pizza. Maybe that place on the corner of Main and Lexington was still open.

  Because damn it, they had the best selection of toppings out of anywhere in Canaan.

  Chapter 7

  Khloe

  I dreaded every day I came into work now. Every morning, when I turned on the light, I wondered if Jasper would be there waiting for me, staring at me and wanting to talk. Every time I walked out of the library for the day, I wondered if he would be standing by my car. He’d been in town an entire week; surely, he had access to the precinct and their files by now. He could track down anything about me. The kind of car I drove now. Where I lived. Hell, he could probably use some sort of software to track where I was via my phone every second of every day.

  This is Jay we’re talking about. Not some psychopathic stalker.

  No. Jasper.

  Jay left a long time ago.

  The woman before me, who was the head librarian before she appointed me, had been there for me as a child and watched me grow up. I used to cut through her backyard with Jasper and pick dead weeds out of her yard to blow the seeds around. Miss Honeycutt never married. There were rumors that she’d had several trysts. The talk of the town, Mom always called her. But she always had a smile on her face, and she always sat in that office, right behind the door that held my name on it, manning her station until the day she passed away.

  Finding that note of hers that named me head librarian had been an incredible moment. Incredibly sobering, too. She’d hired me when I chose to stay in town for college instead of going away to be the big, bad computer science nerd and then supported me when I dropped out of community college to work at the library full-time.

  Mom hadn’t been happy about that. Not one bit. But, school didn’t hold the same flair for me during my senior year. I wasn’t excited about it. I didn’t want to sit mindlessly in classes and listen to older people drone on about stupid shit. I wanted to be working, paving my own way.

  Preferably, while not around people.

  “Good afternoon, Khloe!”

  I jumped at Matt’s voice. “Hey there. Hey. How—what are you doing here?”

  He paused. “I work the afternoon shift today. Did you forget?”

  “No, no. No. I didn’t…forget, necessarily.”

  He grinned. “Just slipped your mind?”

  I snapped. “There we go. Slipped my mind.”

  “So, I take it tonight’s event slipped your mind, too?”

  I blinked. “What?”

  He chuckled. “The First Friday event?”

  Oh shit. “With the police department.”

  “That’s the one. I’m here to help close before we set it up.”

  “Great.”

  “Don’t sound too enthusiastic now. I figured you’d miss me.”

  “No, no. It’s not that.”

  He leaned against the front desk. “Want to talk about it?”

  “Not particularly. Why don’t you clock in, and we’ll get started setting up.” Miss Honeycutt had started the tradition. It had been going on for as long as I could remember. Every first Friday of the month from 5:30 to 9:00, there were drink and food vendors, farmers came out to sell their fresh goods, and we got to advertise the library’s services and drum up donations, and generally remind the community that we were still there.

  And the police department sent a couple officers to do community outreach.

  Fuck.

  I knew that I would need to get used to the idea that Jasper was back in town and that I’d run into him from time to time. I needed to figure out a way to be okay with that. But I simply wasn’t ready just yet.

  The day flew by quicker than I wanted it to, and by the time the library closed down for the event, it felt like doomsday was upon me. We rushed around to help get the vendors set up. Matt cleared his throat and gargled with saltwater like he was about to give some spectacular performance. I unlocked the doors to the first level of the library we set up specifically for the kids, with craft tables to reading corners to shelves of books they could check out with me while I answered their questions and stood behind the front desk.

  Maybe Jasper won’t be here tonight.

  That was the best-case scenario. Worst case, however, I used his dog as an excuse for him to not come near me in the library.

  “Khloe?”

  “Yeah, Matt?”

  “Kent is here.”

  The tone of his voice told me everything I needed to know. Jasper was here, too. And so was that dog. But without its paws on my shoulders and its tongue slathering my face, I took a moment to get a good look at the animal and had to admit to myself that it was quite beautiful. And attentive.

  She stayed right up against Jasper’s side, her head underneath his palm.

  Huh.

  “Looks like a trauma dog. Or one of those support animals,” Matt said.

  I nodded slowly, remembering how he’d described her. “I think that’s what he said, yeah.”

  “I wonder what for.”

  I shrugged. “Probably something from the military.”

  “Maybe he’s got PTSD.”

  “Or maybe it’s one of those dogs that can sense a drop in insulin. Maybe he’s got diabetes.”

  “Don’t sound so hopeful,” Matt snickered.

  I saw Kent walking for the doors, and I drew in a deep breath. I’d made it through losing Jasper, burying my husband, and moving on with my life—I could deal with this. I was strong enough to do that. Kent came over and hugged me, very tight and very long, just how I loved his hugs.

  “I’m sorry,” he murmured.

  I sighed. “Warn me next time, yeah?”

  “I just figured it was easier to just get it
over with.”

  “Not your call, and you know that.”

  “Had to protect the new guy from getting killed and all that.”

  I snickered. “Asshole.”

  He grinned. “That’s Officer Asshole to you.”

  I giggled as his hands fell against my shoulders. He held me out away from him and smiled down at me with that cheeky little smile of his. He brought me back in for one last hug, and I sighed heavily, releasing all of my tension against his body. Kent’s hugs were the best. He had been there for me during a time where I’d pushed everyone else away, where I’d built up walls with cement and rebar to keep the pain and the hurt at bay.

  And he came slamming through it like a wrecking ball without any shits given to the world.

  “Love you, Khloe.”

  I nodded. “Love you, too, Kent.”

  He squeezed my shoulders. “Ready for the event?”

  I sighed. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  I peered around his body and saw Jasper heading for the library doors, then stopping. Heading for the doors, then stopping. Like he was constantly talking himself out of the idea.

  “Just let him bring the damn dog in so he can see you. He’s been shaking like a leaf in the wind all day,” Kent said.

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine. But please don’t let that dog jump on me again.”

  “Piper won’t jump you when she’s working.”

  “And what exactly does the dog do?”

  “Well, for starters, she alerts us to any panic attacks Jasper might have.”

  I cleared my throat, trying to push away the brief feeling of sympathy that flipped in my gut.

  “Okay. If the dog doesn't jump on me like last time, we’re all good,” I said.

  “Thanks. You’re the best,” Kent said.

  He beckoned for Jasper, and the man practically leaped through the doors. Piper stayed next to him, never once inching more than he did. Jasper stopped in front of me and reached out a hand. Begrudgingly, I took it.

  “This looks great in here,” he said as he shook my hand.

  I pulled my hand away quickly as electricity shot up my arm. Damn it. His touch still had the same effect on me that it had always had. And I hated it.

  “Thanks,” I said, hardly able to keep the waver out of my voice.

  I silently admonished my body for its betrayal when Jasper was near. He’d left, he’d forgotten about me, he’d broken my heart. There was no reason I should still get all warm and tingly in his presence.

  “Hey, I’m Matt. I’m the children’s librarian here.”

  Matt’s hand came out of nowhere, and he shook Jasper’s.

  “Nice to meet you,” Jasper said.

  His deep voice made my stomach jump and my heart slam against my ribcage.

  Pull it together, Khloe.

  “So, you ready for the first Friday event?” Jasper asked.

  “And that’s my cue. The kids are waiting. Khloe, want to introduce me?” Matt asked.

  I looked over at him and saw him nodding in the direction of the story-time mat. And sure enough, there were throngs of children sitting, waiting as patiently as kids could.

  “Thanks for coming,” I said to Jasper. Our eyes connected, and I felt my heart stop in my chest. His eyes hadn’t changed one bit. His face had worn with age, and the stubble on his jawline had been shaved clean. His hair was parted cleanly to one side, though still pretty long. But his eyes—those beautiful eyes I had fallen in love with as a teenage girl—still looked just like they had in my dreams.

  “I have to get going,” I said softly.

  Jasper nodded, then held out his arm. And together, the four of us made our way to the story-time mat. The kids clapped and cheered before I put my finger to my lips, silencing their applause. I stood in front of Matt’s chair and locked my hands together, making sure to count each and every head.

  For this first story, we had thirty-one kids, up from the twenty-two we had during last month’s event.

  “All right, kiddos. If you’re new to our event, welcome,” I said.

  The kids smiled at me, and I felt Jasper’s stare against my face.

  “Our story tonight is Lyle, Lyle Crocodile, and it’s my favorite story. I grew up with it as a kid,” I said.

  “She really did,” Jasper said.

  My eyes whipped over to his, and the kids turned their heads.

  “I mean, it was her favorite book. I remember her reading it all the time. Well into middle school,” he said.

  The kids giggled, and our gazes locked. And as he held my stare, it looked as if he was trying to apologize without using words.

  “Officer Willem is right. Back when I was a little girl, I used to read this book under my covers all the time. And now, our very own Mr. Matthew is going to read it for you guys tonight. How does that sound?” I asked.

  “Yeah!” the kids exclaimed.

  I put my finger to my lips. “If you’re really quiet, he might come out. Are you ready? Can you be very, very quiet?”

  The more they settled down, the closer Matt crept with the book.

  “Oh, kids. I think I see him,” I whispered.

  They gasped before one of the kids let out a loud “shh!”

  “Very quiet,” I whispered.

  “Hello, kids!” Matt exclaimed.

  He jumped out of the corner, and the kids jumped. Everyone fell apart in laughter, and Jasper’s boisterous sound filled the room. My eyes snapped straight to his, and I caught that broad smile again, the one that crinkled his eyes and ignited a fire behind that stare of his. I stepped off to the side and let Matt take the reins. But Jasper’s eyes followed me, and he suddenly appeared at my side.

  “You were great up there,” he murmured.

  I peeked up at him. “Thanks.”

  “You were always good with kids, you know.”

  I nodded softly. “I guess.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss, Khlo.”

  His words hit me hard, and I felt my eyes watering.

  “Please don’t call me that,” I whispered, my voice hitching.

  “I’m sorry for everything.”

  The gravelly sound of his voice made my heart surge with life. I was a widow. At one point in time, a dedicated wife. I didn’t need to be feeling this way about some boy that left all those years ago. But every time he stole a glance my way, electricity sizzled down my spine. Every time he murmured something to me, I felt my knees weaken. The heat of his body called to me. The smell of his aftershave filled my nostrils, causing my heart to skip a beat. I was caught between my past and my future, struggling to make sense of why Jasper still had this effect on me; why he still made me feel this way after all these years.

  You’re in hot water, Khloe.

  Yet, part of me didn’t seem to care as I scooted ever so closer to his body.

  Chapter 8

  Jasper

  With my first day of work behind me, I felt more prepared to tackle the real problem: unpacking my shit. With Piper circling my legs, I picked up my small box of books. I nudged my mother’s library open with my hip and drew in the smell of, well, dust. Not as much, though. I just needed to throw a window open, and things would be fine. I set the box of books down, my hands already sweating.

  I hadn’t been inside these rooms for so long.

  I looked over toward my mother’s chair and saw her sitting there. She had her leg curled up against her chest, with her heel digging into the cushion, her arm wrapped around the outside of her leg while she held her book in both of her hands. She always had the oddest ways of curling up while reading. And as her hair fell into her face, I smiled.

  While my heart tore itself apart.

  “Mom,” I murmured.

  She looked up at me and smiled. Those dazzling green eyes, ones I’d inherited from her. She smiled, and my heart came to life. Then, she faded away, leaving nothing but the imprint of her body against the chair and a small dip in the cushion where she always sa
t her heel.

  I walked over and slid my fingers across it.

  “Oh, Mom,” I whispered.

  Unpacking was a nightmare. My palms sweated as I scooted her books over, disturbing them for the first time in twelve years. I put my books on the shelves next to hers. I didn’t have many of them. But, each one of them I’d bought with her in mind. I read them, even though I hated reading. I read them to remind me of her and her love for reading. Every year, I promised to get through two books, just for her, one that got me to her birthday in the middle of July, and one that got me to her favorite time of year.

  Christmas.

  I sighed as I scooped up the cardboard box. I walked over to the banister and tossed it over the edge. It fell to the floor, smacking against the hardwood. Then, I reached for yet another box.

  One that belonged in my father’s cigar room.

  I wasn’t a smoker. But every year on his birthday, I had one just for him. I was running out, too. The cigars I’d stolen from his collection twelve years ago were almost gone. I had two left. One for his birthday in a couple of months, and one for next year. After that, I’d have to figure out where to buy them or find a new tradition.

  No. I’d have to figure out where to buy them.

  I licked my lips and paused. I closed my eyes and stood at the entryway to that damn room. After all these years, I still smelled traces of tobacco in the door, wafting underneath the crack of it. My hands shook. The small box I held wavered as I started blinking rapidly. My eyes burned. My heart clenched. I drew in a broken breath before I reached my foot out, softly pushing the door open.

  How the room still looked hazy, I wasn’t sure.

  Or maybe it was hazy because of my tears.

  “You don’t have to live forever. You just have to live.”

  I shook my head as I walked into the room. My father’s voice echoed off the corners of my mind as snippets of that damn book rushed to the forefront. Tuck Everlasting. I still didn’t know why my father enjoyed that book as much as he did. But every time I sat down at this closed door, he picked it up and read it to me, always picking up from where he left off the last time.