King's Queen

by Marie Johnston

  My disappointment surprised me. I wasn’t ready to leave. The energy from the tournament still buzzed along the walls. Excitement. Exhilaration. Support. I missed this feeling. This was part of what I’d given up when I’d walked away from the sport after high school.

  I kept the resignation out of my voice. “I guess I can go find Kate.”

  “Violet told Katie she was starving. If they’re not in the club room, they’re in my office raiding my snack drawer.”

  The snack drawer he stocked for his grandkids. I gave him a nod and went in search of my wife and niece. The club room was bustling with activity. Jason and his boys were directing traffic for equipment return.

  Randall’s office was down the hall, a little-used space in the dark corner of the building that he’d been able to rent out.

  Noise faded behind me the closer I got, and Violet and Kate’s murmurs took over.

  “I haven’t seen that one,” Kate said. “Is it the one with Ariel’s daughter?”

  “Mm-hmm.” I could picture Violet’s legs swinging in Randall’s rolling chair. “Why don’t you want kids, Aunt Katie?”

  My steps faltered. I hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but I couldn’t move.

  “I did.”

  “Don’t you still?”

  “Yeah, but it’s just not meant to be.” The softness of Kate’s voice wrenched my heart. We had no idea if it was meant to be. We hadn’t tried to find out.

  “Why not?” Violet asked with the innocent persistence kids had. She was seven and she’d thought to ask.

  Kate was the most important person in my life and I’d never asked.

  I’d asked her for time yet again and she’d given it to me. I wanted to think that she’d talk to me if she felt strongly about starting a family now. I hadn’t pushed her to talk either. Was I afraid of what she’d say?

  “Dreams change sometimes.”

  A vise tightened around my chest. I was a selfish bastard. I’d wanted my life with Kate. I’d wanted her and I’d done what it took to get her. And she’d had to give up something she wanted. Kids. Her own family unit. Because of me.

  “You gonna have that last cracker?” Violet asked. Normally, the way she pilfered food would’ve made me chuckle, but all humor had drained out of me.

  I had to do something, and I hated the way my options were limited by what the board decided. There were still only twenty-four hours in a day. I couldn’t find out that Kate dreamed of having kids only to leave her to raise them while I was in the office.

  Maybe it was possible to parent while working as much as I did. I could finagle an assistant. Hire a personal assistant if Grams and the board refused additional positions.

  I’d make it work. For Kate.

  I rounded the corner and knocked on the doorframe.

  Kate was hunched over the old metal desk, her hoodie pushing her hair around her face. She smiled. “Hey. Want a Cheez-It?”

  “I’ll pass.” I hadn’t eaten those since I was a kid.

  “You ready to go?” she asked like she hadn’t just confessed to giving up important dreams to stay with me. While I’d given up nothing but a few hours of work that I packed in during time I would’ve been working out.

  “You two finish eating.”

  Kate dug into her tote at her feet. “Would you mind starting my car? My remote doesn’t reach from in the building.” She rose and walked toward me. “It really doesn’t work unless you’re standing right next to it. But I’m not parked far way. If you don’t mind—”

  I pressed my fingers against her plump lips. “Of course not.”

  Another problem she hadn’t mentioned. Kate wouldn’t give up the car and she wouldn’t waste time getting a new auto start. They weren’t critical to living in the north, but the other option was sitting in a frozen soda can when it was twenty below zero out, waiting for the heater to actually put out warm air.

  I lifted my winter coat from where she’d set it with hers next to the desk and put it on. “I’ll be right back.”

  I took the side exit to avoid the cleanup crew. As soon as I lost the protection of the building, the cold hit me and the fabric of my jacket crinkled like paper each time I moved. At Kate’s car, I tested the distance. The damn thing didn’t work even when I was twenty feet away. I got closer and tried. When it finally started, I peered in to make sure the locks hadn’t disengaged while I messed with the remote.

  I rarely drove Kate’s car. She probably thought the inside of her vehicle would piss me off. Her passenger seat was littered with receipts. Some forms in the back stood out among the spare gloves and hats and an old pair of athletic shoes in case she went for a walk during her lunch hour. It was her car, but something prompted me to unlock the door and pick up the official-looking documents. I’d never been a nosy fucker in my life, but when it came to papers and Kate, I’d become quite sensitive. Besides, what if they were something important she’d forgotten?

  I ignored the way the wind flayed the skin off my face as I read what was on the papers. An application for an apartment unit?

  How old was this?

  Sometime in the last four months. I let it fall back on the seat and shut the door. Locked the car.

  She’d gone apartment hunting.

  My wife had served me divorce papers, but after months of talking and growing closer, my mind had chosen to consider those documents as more of a warning. But an application for an apartment? With a year-long lease?

  Damn.

  Cold snaked through my jacket, its frigid fingers wrapping around my chest. I’d almost lost her. I could still lose her. The balance I’d worked so hard for was a mirage. She was sacrificing to stay with me.

  I rushed inside. She wasn’t in the office, but I found her at the front door, waving to Matt and Violet as they left.

  “I’ll walk you out.”

  “Sure.” She went to the side door I’d used before.

  I snagged her hand. We were alone on this side of the building, though Randall would come around soon to lock up. But I couldn’t wait to speak to her. “Do you want kids, Kate?”

  “We agreed we’d wait.” Her tone was light and neutral.

  “And we agreed to really talk to each other.”

  Her mouth tightened and she nodded. “Right. You’re right. Yes, I was disappointed when you said you weren’t ready, that your job was still too much. And that’s okay. I’ve realized that your company is your priority and that’s okay. I love you. I love my life with you.”

  “It won’t be forever—”

  “Aiden.” Sadness leaked into her small smile. “I don’t want to raise a kid who wonders why a parent is never around, like my brothers and I did. You don’t want that either, and it’s okay.” She moved closer to me and put her hands on my shoulders. “You wouldn’t forgive yourself if you made your kids feel like they weren’t enough. We have nieces and nephews and we’re only going to get more. It’s okay. I’m okay with it.”

  Dreams change sometimes.

  I wasn’t okay with it. She loved her dad, but she was constantly left wanting more. Then she dealt with her guilt for what paltry attention he gave her when her brothers were lucky to get a birthday card. I’d spent too many years missing Mama and wishing Dad were around more. It was why I’d wanted to wait to have kids of my own. For the reasons Kate had said.

  But later had turned into years. What did I expect another “later” would do? What happened when Dad retired? If I took over as CEO, my time would be in even shorter supply.

  That was my future. That was what was expected of me.

  And my wife was willing to give up something as significant as kids to stay with me, and to save our hypothetical kids from experiencing what we had.

  Was that what I wanted our future to be? If it wasn’t, what was I prepared to do about it?

  “I need to run back to work. Just for a little bit.”

  Disappointment flickered in her eyes.

  “I’ll be home in an hour. I
promise.”

  She nodded and I rushed out the door. The next few calls I made would be some of the most important of my life.

  Kate

  * * *

  Can you come to the office as soon as you’re done with work?

  Aiden had been quiet all weekend since the tournament. He’d worked at the home office all day yesterday, and he’d been a driven man. I hadn’t thought he could level up after the last month, but there he was, growling into his phone and pacing the home office. He hadn’t even worked out.

  Would I find out what was up? Pulling into a parking spot at King Oil headquarters, my gaze caught on a familiar pickup. Was Dawson here too?

  I had gotten done at five and come straight here. The lot was over half empty. All but the inner office got to work their eight hours and go home.

  I got out and gave the familiar pickup another look. The one parked next to it looked like Xander’s. That was too much of a coincidence.

  I scanned the lot for Gentry’s pickup. Yep, in the farthest corner. Gentry probably parked there to leave open closer spots for the rest of his employees, but Kendall likely reinforced it to add more steps into their day.

  Was Beck here too? If all three brothers were at King Oil, and Aiden wanted me here, what did that mean?

  I was about to walk in when Lauren breezed out. “Oh! Kate!” She threw her arms open, then froze. “I never hugged you at the library. Am I allowed to hug the boss’s wife here?”

  I grinned and stepped into her firm embrace. “You can hug me anywhere. I’ve missed you, but I’m so glad I don’t see you for all the right reasons.”

  “This job is the best.” She nodded toward the door, then tucked her chin into the collar of her black dress jacket. “Was that the rest of the family I saw walk in earlier? Talk about a serious case of the nerves. All the Kings are in the castle.”

  I didn’t mention that I had no clue why they were there. “Nothing to be nervous about. You do good work.”

  Lauren’s nod was solemn. “I’ll continue to be the best assistant they ever hired. Frigid days like this, I’m grateful for a job with a roof over my head and heat pumping through the vents.” She squeezed my arm. “I’d better let you go. Something important’s going on and I’m not going to be the one holding you up.”

  Something important. I rushed to the elevator and hit the button. On the ride up, I took my coat off. The doors opened and I frowned. The floor was quiet. Gentry’s office door was open but the lights were off, same with Kendall’s office, and Phillip wasn’t at his desk.

  Aiden’s door was open and his light was on, but I didn’t hear voices. Where were the others?

  My husband was at his desk, but he wasn’t working. He was doing the slouchy thing that made him look so damn good. His suit coat hung on the chair behind him and he was missing his tie. The top buttons of his mauve shirt were undone, his cowlick was sticking up, and he was contemplating the top of his desk. As for the desk, it was empty. There was no tablet. His phone was nowhere to be seen and he wasn’t looking at his computer screen. Was it even on?

  I’d never seen him like this. Not in his work office or at home. “Aiden?”

  He lifted his dark gaze but I couldn’t read his expression. “Hey. You can set your coat in here.”

  “What’s going on? Your brothers are here?”

  “Yes. We’re having a meeting before the board gets here.”

  “There’s a board meeting tonight?” What was going on? His brothers had no power over the board. Were they coming to work here? Beck, maybe. He could sell his tech company, or heck, run both, but I doubted he wanted to. He loved his job and he loved Eva more. Xander didn’t hate the company, but his attitude was live and let live. Dawson wasn’t leaving the ranch.

  “Yes.” Aiden rose and rounded his desk. Putting his hand on my lower back, he led me toward the stairwell. The conference room was down one level. “I have something to tell you, and to tell the others.”

  He stayed quiet and I kept my questions to myself. Aiden was half in his head and half with me. He led me through the open office space that was normally bright with natural light during the day.

  My stomach fluttered as several pairs of eyes watched us enter the conference room. It wasn’t just Aiden’s brothers. Their wives were here too, and they were as quiet as me, their curious gazes following us to the head of the table by the mantel.

  Gentry’s brow was furrowed. Didn’t he know what this pre-meeting was about?

  What the hell was going on?

  Aiden pulled out a rolling chair for me. When I was settled, he sat and folded his arms on the table.

  “When I married Kate, you thought it was for the money.” He looked at his dad first. Gentry didn’t avoid his gaze, just dipped his head. The brothers’ gazes brushed across me before they nodded too.

  “We know you love her,” Beck said.

  “Right,” Aiden said quietly. “I can’t deny the trust was my original motivation. There was a lot riding on my decision, for all of us. As for how I felt about Kate, my private life was just that—mine.” He cleared his throat. “But I realize that I’ve kept a lot to myself over the years, and all it’s done is hurt me and those closest to me. And that’s gotta stop.”

  Several bodies shifting in their seats filled the silence.

  “I want to tell you all why I married Kate, and when I’m done, you’ll know why I’ve made the decision I have.”

  Curiosity and anxiety mingled in my gut. I’d never seen Aiden so open with his family. I treasured the times he could be himself and joke around with them, but he was never this earnest.

  He worked his jaw. The rest of the room stayed quiet, all sensing the weight of his decision and his determination.

  He lifted his gaze to mine and held his hand out. I slipped my fingers into his warm hand.

  His gaze softened but couldn’t hide the underlying concern. “I have a story I need to tell you.”

  Chapter 21

  Aiden

  * * *

  Eighteen years ago…

  * * *

  My next opponent’s details ran through my head as I sat with my teammates in a high school gymnasium in Billings. Jason McDonough. Sophomore. Fifteen like me. I hadn’t faced him before. He’d hit a growth spurt and was now in my weight class.

  Running through the data took my mind off what was missing about today. My dad had to fly to a meeting in Dallas. My brothers were home doing chores. I’d ridden the bus to the meet with the rest of my team. Grams never came to my competitions and I doubted it would change since DB had passed away. I had no one in the stands.

  Mama had never missed one of my matches. Acid clawed its way up my throat as I struggled to direct my attention away from the gaping hole in the bleachers. I couldn’t stop Mama’s voice from flitting through my mind.

  You can do this, Aiden.

  Don’t underestimate your opponent.

  The only thing you have to prove is that you tried your hardest.

  She would watch me and support the rest of my team, cheering for them through wins and losses. She’d study the weight class above me in case I wrestled up. Then I’d catch a ride home with her instead of taking the bus and she’d talk strategy.

  That wouldn’t happen anymore. It wouldn’t happen ever again.

  The longer she was gone, the more DB’s voice infiltrated my thoughts. If you’re wasting time wrestling, you’d better make damn sure you’re winning.

  I swallowed hard. Jason McDonough. Ranked eighth in the state. He’d won his last match with a 5–3 decision against Miles City last week. I forced my gaze to the two bodies grappling on the mat. I cheered when the rest of my team cheered, echoing whatever they said, floating through this night on autopilot, like I’d done all last year.

  My attention caught on a girl about my age watching the pair wrestling. My gaze drifted away, then returned. She must be a team manager. But there was something about her. Several team managers I’d come ac
ross in my time wrestling were girls. Some wanted to wrestle but didn’t want the BS that came with a girl wrestling in the sport. Some were girlfriends of wrestlers on the team. Others just loved the sport and being a part of a team.

  This girl was evaluating. The air around her was more serious than the others.

  Plain brown hair with blond highlights that could just be from the gym’s lighting hung past her shoulders, fluffing out at the ends, like she brushed it once in the morning and forgot about it. She didn’t wear any makeup that I could tell, but I never noticed those types of things. Weird that I’d start today.

  Did I need to be distracted that badly?

  I must’ve. I couldn’t quit watching her. She was across from me. I could cheer on my teammates while still watching her beyond the pair on the mat.

  She shifted, her intelligent eyes studying the ref now. Her change in position allowed me to read her shirt. I’d rather be reading.

  The corner of my mouth tipped up. A saying so at odds with her intensity. Perhaps it was true for her the rest of the day, but the way her hands clenched…no. She wanted to be here.

  The match wrapped up. The two guys stood side by side until the ref came over and raised one boy’s arm. The wrestler from Billings had won that one.

  The pressure was on me even more.

  The girl wandered to where her team waited. The guys moved and shifted to let her through but didn’t give her any more attention than that. They were used to her presence, but she wasn’t quite one of them. She stopped by my opponent, Jason McDonough.

  My eyes narrowed. Tingles of awareness traced down my spine. Had the other guys ignored her because she was with Jason?

  She murmured to him. His gaze flicked across to my teammate. Jason’s and the girl’s profiles were the same. A little upturn at the end of the nose. Round cheeks that had probably been cherubic until puberty. They even crossed their arms the same.

  A beat of relief had my mouth tipping up again. Siblings.