Secrets and Lies

by Kody Keplinger

  “Who is this?” Whitley asked after a few seconds.

  “A girl from my school. She’s on the cheerleading squad with me.”

  “Ugh. What is with this goddamn town and weird Internet harassment?” she asked. “This is disgusting.”

  It felt like something sharp had stabbed me in the gut. I’d forgotten until just then that Whitley had dealt with this kind of thing when she first came to Hamilton. People were posting pictures of her at parties on this really mean, hateful Facebook page. That was actually how everyone ended up finding out about her and Nathan.

  That Facebook page had made things in Hamilton horrible for Whitley. And none of the pictures were even of her in her underwear.

  Suddenly, everything that was happening to Elsie became even more real. Even more my fault for accidentally giving Justine the idea. For keeping my mouth shut because I was too scared of being humiliated myself.

  “Why exactly are you showing me this?” Whitley asked.

  “Because that’s my secret,” I told her. “I know who posted this video.”

  “So?”

  “So I feel terrible!” I said. I logged off the Internet and got up from Nathan’s chair. “I feel guilty.”

  “Why? You didn’t post the video…. Right?”

  “No.” I sat down on the bed beside her. “But my friend did…. Well, I thought she was my friend. It’s this girl named Justine. She doesn’t like Elsie, says Elsie’s not worth knowing because she’s an arrogant social climber. She did this to embarrass her—to take her down a notch, I guess.”

  “Ew,” Whitley said. “Sounds like Justine’s the one not worth knowing.”

  “She’s the most popular girl in the freshman class,” I said. “If she likes you, everyone wants to be your friend.”

  Whitley sighed and ran a hand through her long brown hair. “I do not miss high school,” she said. “I’m guessing that’s why you haven’t told anyone she did it?”

  “Yeah. Well, that and she said she’d make my life as miserable as Elsie’s if I did.” I bit my lip. “I don’t want to be a tattletale.”

  “Okay, Bailey, no one over the age of eight is a tattletale.”

  “Fine. A rat. A narc. Whatever. I don’t want to be that girl, Whitley. But knowing she did it—and knowing how upset Elsie is—is killing me.”

  “Do other people know she did it?” Whitley asked.

  “A couple. Just a few of Justine’s friends.”

  “Why does she have to know you’re the one who turned her in?” Whitley asked. “You’d tell the principal, right? Don’t they have to keep that confidential or something?”

  “I guess…. But why would anyone believe me? This girl has a spotless record. She’s the freshman class president. She has As in every class. Everyone likes her. They’ll think I’m making it up.”

  Whitley sat there for a second, thinking. “Hmm.”

  “I don’t know why I’m even telling you this,” I said. “There’s nothing I can do about it. I’ll just have to live the rest of my life feeling like a terrible person.”

  “Oh, stop whining,” Whitley said. “I have an idea. What if Justine turned herself in?”

  “She never would—”

  “What if she had to?”

  I stared at her. “What do you mean?”

  Just then, Nathan walked back into the room. “Okay. You two ready for the movie?” He stopped when he saw our faces. “Why so serious?” he asked in his best Joker impression.

  “No movie,” Whitley told him.

  “What? Why not?”

  She looked at me, then back at him, an evil grin spreading across her face. “Your sister needs your help,” she said. “And I think your geek skills may finally come in handy.”

  ***

  “I don’t know if I can do this,” I said as Whitley handed me my cell phone. “I can’t do this. I can’t—I can’t—”

  “It’s ringing,” Whitley said, sitting crisscrossed on my bedroom floor. “And recording.”

  “I can’t—”

  “Yes, you can. Now shut up, stop whining, and do it.”

  Nathan was a little kinder. He put a hand on my shoulder and said, “You’ll feel better when it’s over.”

  I pressed the phone to my ear.

  Two rings.

  “Hello?”

  “H-hey, Justine.”

  “Hey, Bailey.” She sounded like she was in a good mood. I wasn’t sure if that would make things better or worse. “What’s up?”

  “N-not much.” I couldn’t stop stuttering. “I just, uh…”

  Whitley glared at me. After a pause she mouthed, Come on.

  I cleared my throat. “You need to tell Principal Roth what you did.”

  “What did I do?”

  “You know,” I said. “The video… of Elsie. You need to tell him you posted it.”

  She burst out laughing. “What? Are you kidding me? Why would I tell him? What the hell are you thinking?”

  I swallowed. “If… if you don’t tell him, I will.”

  She stopped laughing. “You have lost your mind. Go ahead and tell him. He’ll never believe you. You don’t have any proof. And if he so much as asks me about it, I’ll turn it around. I’ll tell him you did it. And that’s the least of what I’ll do to you. People might like you now, Bailey, but they won’t if you mess with me. You’ll be a narc. No one will want to hang out with you.”

  I could feel my bottom lip shaking. It was disgusting, but as horrible as she was, I had to fight the urge to apologize. To beg for forgiveness. I didn’t like Justine anymore, but I wanted her to like me.

  Nathan squeezed my shoulder.

  “What if I did have proof?”

  “What?” Justine asked.

  “I have proof.”

  “That’s impossible,” she said. “The YouTube account is connected to an e-mail with a fake name. So are the links I sent. You can’t trace it back to me.”

  I glanced at Nathan. He nodded and held his hand out. I gave him the phone.

  “Hi. Justine? This is Bailey’s brother, Nathan. How much do you know about computers?” He paused. “Oh, okay. Well, that’s a bummer, because I know quite a bit. Has anyone ever explained IP addresses to you? Because the thing is, the YouTube account may be connected to a fake e-mail, but it’s also connected to a real IP address, which belongs to your computer. You following? So, turns out, I can track down your IP address through this account and prove that the video was uploaded from your computer…. Uh-huh. Well, I just thought you might like to know. Here’s Bailey.”

  He handed the phone back to me. I must have had a look of terror on my face because Whitley stood up and walked over to the bed to put an arm around my shoulders. I took a deep breath.

  “Justine?”

  “You got your geeky brother involved?” she snapped. “How old are you? Seven? I can’t believe I was actually friends with such a baby.”

  “I can’t believe I was friends with you, either,” I murmured. “So are you going to tell Principal Roth or do I have to?”

  There was a long pause. “I could tell them Brody did it, you know,” she said. “He has access to my computer. I could blame it on him. You wouldn’t like that, though, would you? Since you like him so much. Might as well kiss that good-bye either way. He’ll never like you. Not if you rat on his little sister.”

  “His little sister who’d be willing to throw him under the bus?” I asked. I’d been shaking before, but I was feeling different now. Angrier. “You’re worse than I thought you were. Your record might be clean, but you’ve done this before. I know about Gretchen. By the way, that IP address thing works on blogs as well.”

  “Go, Bailey,” Nathan mouthed, doing a little fist pump.

  I kept going. “And you couldn’t blame it on him anyway. He was at a game that night. People saw him there. He left school before the video was recorded. That wouldn’t be hard to prove.”

  Justine didn’t say anything.


  “Tell the principal,” I said. “You’ll get in less trouble if you turn yourself in. You’ll seem like a better person if you do than if I tell them the truth.”

  “He’ll expel me.” Her voice cracked, and for a second I wondered if she was crying. “I’ll be kicked off student council. I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for.”

  I was starting to feel sorry for her. Starting to regret this. Starting to think maybe I was wrong. But then I remembered that broken look on Elsie’s face on Monday. She hadn’t even been to school since then. If anyone deserved sympathy, it was her.

  “You win,” Justine said. “I’ll turn myself in. But people are still going to hate you, Bailey. I’m going to tell everyone you made me do this.”

  “That’s okay,” I said. “Maybe those people are the ones who—as you put it—aren’t worth knowing.”

  She made a small grunting noise before hanging up.

  I put my cell phone down and let out a breath. “She’s telling the principal tomorrow.”

  “Good,” Nathan said. “And if she doesn’t, you have that whole conversation recorded on your phone.”

  “Could you really do that?” I asked him. “All that stuff about the IP address?”

  He shrugged. “I actually don’t know. It’s possible on some sites, but I’ve never tried on YouTube. But I figured she wouldn’t know, either.”

  “Do you feel better?” Whitley asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I do… mostly.”

  “Now what’s wrong? Upset you’re not going to be Miss Popularity anymore?”

  I shook my head. “No…. Well, a little. But that’s okay. No, it’s just… Justine’s brother is this really cool, cute guy, and I think he was starting to like me. I don’t think he will after Justine tells him about that phone call.”

  “You’re too young to date anyway.”

  “Nathan,” Whitley said, rolling her eyes.

  “She is.”

  “Ignore him,” Whitley said. “He’s just jealous no one wanted to date him in ninth grade.”

  “Hey, you know that’s not true,” he argued. “I was on the basketball team. All sorts of girls wanted to date me. But I knew I was too young to date—and I was busy with school and sports.”

  “You mean you were busy playing with Star Wars action figures,” Whitley said.

  I grinned a little. “He totally was.”

  “I didn’t play with them,” Nathan said. “They were collectibles. I collected them.”

  “Okay, Nathan,” Whitley said. “I love you, but collecting action figures isn’t any less geeky than playing with them. In fact, it might be a little worse. But that’s okay.” She stood up and walked around to where he sat on my other side. “Because today your nerdy side was pretty useful. And kind of sexy.”

  “Really?” He smirked at her. “Want to go to my room and listen to me read from my computer sciences textbook?”

  “Mm. Maybe.”

  “Ew!” I said, slinging a pillow at them. “Get out.”

  “Gladly,” Nathan said, standing up and grabbing Whitley’s hand. “Good night, Bailey.”

  “Good night,” I said.

  Whitley stopped at the door and turned around. “And seriously. If the guy stops liking you, he sucks.”

  “Thanks.”

  It was easy to hear. But it wasn’t easy to believe. The truth was, Brody Frasier was amazing. And tonight, I’d lost any shot I may have had with him.

  Chapter Five

  By first period the next day, rumors were flying all over the place. Justine had been suspended, expelled, arrested. There were a thousand different stories, and no one seemed to know which ones were true. People only knew one thing for sure—this was my fault.

  Well, not everyone knew that. But Wendy and Melanie did. They’d both given me death glares in the hallway that morning, and I knew cheerleading practice later would be a nightmare.

  The rest of the semester would be a nightmare.

  I just had to keep reminding myself that I’d done the right thing. That Justine deserved whatever she got. And that anyone who thought otherwise was just as bad as she was.

  I told myself all these things, but it didn’t make things suck any less.

  Justine’s seat was empty when I got to class. But her brother’s wasn’t. While Mr. Daud drew a diagram of a triangle on the board, I noticed Brody looking at me. I looked down at my desk, not wanting to see his face. To see him glaring at me. I kept my head down for the rest of class.

  When the bell rang, I grabbed my things and ran toward the door as fast as I could. I wasn’t fast enough, though.

  “Bailey, wait.”

  I groaned quietly and stopped in my tracks. Brody was at my side a second later. I didn’t look at him.

  “Can I talk to you a second?”

  “Um… sure.”

  I followed him out of the classroom and down the hall to a small alcove. We wedged ourselves in, and the quarters were so close that, for a second, our knees brushed. I couldn’t avoid looking at him now. But when my eyes met his, I was surprised not to see any anger there.

  “I heard what happened,” he said. “With you and my sister.”

  “Oh, um… I’m sorry, but I just—”

  “Don’t be,” he said. “I knew it was her. Well, I thought it was. What she did was horrible, and I’m glad someone finally had the nerve to stand up to her.”

  “R-really?”

  “Yeah.” He looked down, his dark hair falling into his eyes. “You know… I’ve kind of liked you for a while.”

  “You have?”

  He nodded. “Actually, when I saw you hanging out with Justine, I was a little worried. That’s what I tried to tell you that night at my house. She’s manipulative and just… cold. I liked you because you didn’t seem like that kind of person at all. I’m glad I was right.”

  I had no idea what to say. I was sure my face was the color of a tomato, and I knew that if I opened my mouth I’d just be a stuttering, stammering mess.

  “Anyway,” Brody said, looking up again. His face was pretty red, too. “I was wondering if you’d want to go see a movie sometime. I don’t have my license yet, so one of my parents will have to drive us, but—”

  “I’d love to!” I squeaked.

  “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Cool.”

  We just stared at each other for a minute, neither of us saying anything. Finally, I cleared my throat. “Um, I should get to class…”

  “Right… Right.”

  We both slid out of the alcove and into the larger hallway. “You know,” I said. “If we start, like, hanging out, Justine is going to be really, really mad. She may actually try to kill us.”

  Brody grinned. “I can take it if you can.”

  “I can take it,” I said.

  “Good.” He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek. It was quick. It was nothing. But it made me feel like a million little sparks were lighting across my skin.

  “S-see you later,” I stuttered.

  “’Bye,” he said.

  Then I took off for biology in such a daze that I walked into the wrong classroom. Twice.

  ***

  Over the next few days, the truth about Justine’s punishment finally came out.

  She’d been suspended for two weeks, banned from all extracurricular activities, and placed in the school’s alternative education program for the rest of the year. Basically, that meant she had to take all her classes in one room, where she wasn’t allowed to talk or socialize with her friends. She even had a separate lunch. For a popular girl, there was no worse punishment.

  It was harsh, but Brody said it could have been worse. Principal Roth had wanted to expel her, but their parents had begged and pleaded. I guess they’d won in the end.

  Elsie still hadn’t come back to school. No one was talking about her or the video (which had been taken down) anymore, though. Instead, they were talking about me. Word had spread
that I was the reason Justine had turned herself in. Some people hated me for it. Melanie and Wendy found every reason they could to torture me in cheerleading practice. Ryan and Justine’s boyfriend, Eddie, tried to spread gross rumors about me, but none of them ever took off. And not everyone hated me. Some people liked me for what I’d done—like Brody, and some of Elsie’s friends.

  I wasn’t popular anymore, but I wasn’t alone, either. And at least there wasn’t any pressure about what I was wearing or how I fixed my hair anymore. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t fun, but it could have been worse.

  On Friday, Whitley and Nathan were going to pick me up after cheerleading practice and take me to a movie in Oak Hill, the next town over. Since I knew I could talk them into a quick detour, I volunteered to take Elsie her biology work from the past two weeks.

  “That would be wonderful, Miss Caulfield,” Mrs. Robb said, placing a few worksheets into a folder. “And I know you take good notes. Would you be okay with photocopying them for her?”

  “Of course.”

  “Thank you. I know she’s going through a hard time, and I don’t want her to feel too behind when she comes back.” She handed me the folder. “If she has any questions, tell her she can e-mail me.”

  “I will.”

  She smiled. “You’re a sweet girl,” she said. “Elsie’s lucky to have a friend like you right now.”

  I wasn’t sure I’d go that far. I still couldn’t shake the feeling that none of this would have happened to her if it wasn’t for me telling Justine about her locker room behavior. I owed her an apology, I decided, which was part of the reason I was going to her house after school—to drop off her homework and to clear my conscience.

  “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” I told Whitley and Nathan as I climbed out of the backseat.

  “If you take too long, we’re leaving without you,” Whitley said.

  Nathan rolled his eyes.

  “What?” she asked. “I don’t want to be late for the movie.”

  I laughed. “It won’t take that long… I hope.” I shut the door and walked up the driveway to Elsie’s front door. The closer I got, the more anxious I felt. By the time I rang the doorbell, my heart had jumped into my throat and started dancing. I swallowed, hard, and waited.