by Anna White
“Right it’s 1pm time for drinks.”
“Gin and lemonade here we come!” Soph chirped and I groaned. My head was still sore and I didn’t think I could stomach anymore alcohol. I slid my feet into my sandals and began to walk with them. Our apartment complex wasn’t far from the beachfront and as we walked through the busy streets I smiled at Nance.
“I think I just want to sunbathe or maybe even go in the pool.” I nudged her arm and watched her nod.
“I’m up for a swim.” She added.
“I’ll get the gin in then.” We turned into our complex and watched as Soph jogged towards the pool bar. I examined her flirting with the lad behind the bar and laughed a little. The hut was wooden, and she was just tall enough to lean against it. The poor guy was blushing at her and I rolled my eyes.
“You think she’s missing Callum now?” I heard Nance stifle a laugh and placed my towel down on the lounger before I flicked off my sandals and placed myself on the plastic white bed.
“Probably missing his dick dunno about anything else.” I scoffed back my laugh as she threw her hands up and shrugged her shoulders. I pulled down my sunglasses and watched as she took a dive in the pool, the sun shone off her skin and I rolled my eyes. She was too pretty to be near.
It was getting on for 3pm, the hottest point isn’t the day. The air was muggy and I could feel my skin becoming ever hotter under the suns gaze. I peeled my eyes open and glanced to my left to see that both Soph and Nance had fallen asleep. I must have too. My dreams were plagued by his face. The memory of him lay passed out next to that skimpy blonde kept replaying and I shook my head softly. I thought that time would heal but it’s made me worse. I missed him. Even after seeing that I still yearned to touch him. I gulped and closed my eyes once more. There were footsteps coming from next to where we were laying and felt fingers trace over my stomach. I instantly sat up and clutched the hand.
“What the fuck,” my voice was loud, my eyes sprung open and I blinked rapidly. Shit what was he doing here? He was crouching beside me. His sunglasses covering his eyes, his skin looked darker in colour and I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to scream.
“It’s nice to see you too.” His voice sent shock waves through me and I realised I was still gripping his hand. He ran his thumb over it softly and I noticed that people were starting to stare at us. I pulled my sunglasses off my face and threw them next to me. My whole body had gone into shock.
“How did you,” my words began to fade and I sounded almost mouse like.
“What? Know where you were? Soph dropped you in it before you came out here.” I dropped his hand and stood from the lounger. I couldn’t deal with him right now. I’d flown 4 hours away to get rid of the thought of him and here he was leaning in front of me. I leant down and grabbed my bag. I threw it over my shoulder and began to walk away from him, I jogged up the white concrete stairs where stray cats were sat towards our apartment.
“Why are you even here?” I snapped, my words were sharp and anger bubbled in my stomach. “Have you no boundaries?” I suddenly stopped in my tracks as I hit our apartment door and glanced up at him. “I didn’t want to see you.” I hissed his way. His brilliant white vest was oversized, he looked bigger than before more defined, I could see his pecks and swallowed hard. I was lying. I had wanted nothing more than to see him. I watched as he lifted his glasses from his head and turned away from his eye contact. I couldn’t look at them.
“I came to apologise for my irrational behaviour. I want to explain.” His posture straightened. Do these men not know how to take a fucking hint? I’ve flown away from them. I turned and placed my hands against the apartment door and felt his hand grip my arm softly, his touch almost stung as I pulled it away. “Avay please?” His voice lowered and made my heart stop for a split second. I loved hearing him call me that. Tears began to fill my eyes and I shook my head. I pushed against the door and made my way into our apartment, the door didn’t close and I knew he’d followed me in. I placed my bag against the wicker backed sofa and stood still for a minute to gather my thoughts. I couldn’t speak. I had no words for him. I heard the door shut and I turned to examine him. His arms were folded across his chest and I frowned deeply. He was leaning against the door frame, his face was moody and masculine and his jaw tensed. I mimicked his body language.
“Avaya. Talk to me.” I held his gaze and pouted.
“Where do I start?” I scowled in his direction “you reveal your real business, which by the way I had an incline about already I’m not that naive and stupid you know,” I paused for a split second and watched his face twist “then you go all bipolar, you said you wanted me and then you go and fuck it all up by sleeping with a random girl, so I go away to get some space and you fucking follow me here!” I was almost screaming as he made his way closer to me. I could feel my heart pounding against my chest from the anger that coursed through my veins.
“So you knew about the business?” His eyes lowered, they darkened and I held my stance. I wasn’t going to back away. He was in the wrong. “And you think I’m bipolar?” There was a trace of a smirk appearing and I forced myself to hold back a tiny smile. He was finding this outburst of mine funny. “Lastly I’m not joking, I came here to explain myself and apologise Avay,” he reached out to touch my arm and I flinched before I closed my eyes. I braced myself for his touch. The trace of his fingers brushed my arms, slowly traveling up towards my neck and then my hair. My breathing hiked under his touch and my body was failing me. I needed her desperately to be strong, but I was no longer angry and he’d won. Again.
“Explain then.” I muttered the closer he got to me. I could almost taste him as his lips traced mine. Don’t kiss him don’t kiss him. My brain was screaming at me but I surrendered to my body as he lightly kissed my lips. He placed me around his waist in one swift movement, his touch had invaded mine as he pressed me against a wall in the apartment, our kiss was frantic and needy and I pulled on the back of his hair slightly. He moved his mouth away from mine before he let them linger across my jaw line, desire for him flooded me. The feeling of them against my skin almost stung. I caught my breath and opened my eyes slowly. I half expected him to have disappeared when I opened them but he was still stood there, all sexy ruffled hair and gleaming blue eyes. “This isn’t fair.” I said breathlessly when we parted I pushed against his shoulders lightly and felt him place me back on the floor. “You can’t just come here, do this and expect everything to be okay,” I frowned to myself as tears began to congregate in the corners of my eyes. I glanced at his chest that was exposed in his low hanging white vest and took a deep breath.
“Tell me you don’t want me Avaya.” He paused and my breathing hiked “tell me you don’t want me and I’ll leave.” His voice sounded strained, not strong. I was scared to look up at his face. I squeezed my eyes shut so that the tears dripped down my face.
“I can’t.” I admitted in a whisper, his hand held my face as he pulled my eyes to meet his gaze, his eyes looked clear and sincere.
“I’m sorry Avaya I really am.” I shook my head, his hand dropped from my face to my arms and I took in a sharp breath.
“Saying sorry doesn’t mean anything?” I moved out of his grasp as I made my way towards the large sliding door of our balcony.
“I mean it Av,” I found myself leaning against the white wall on our balcony “for fuck sake I’ve flew 4 hours to Tenerife to apologise because I just can’t fucking leave you alone.” I felt him grip my face in his hand, my eyes darted open and I held his wrist with my hand that was pressed against my face. “Look I’m shit at this. I’ve never had to prove I’m human to anybody before.” My eyes grew wider as he spoke the words. Prove he was human? What the fuck does that mean? His eyes looked tortured. I could imagine a much younger Harry lost and confused when I looked in them and felt my chest constrict.
“Have you sorted your head out yet?” I whispered as I continued to stare at him. I watched his expression.
“I’m trying,” he paused and ran his nose against mine. There was a gust of air which made the skin on my arms prickle “Chloe told me I had to get my act together or I’d lose you.” He scoffed a little “can you believe I took her advice on dating?” I smiled a small smile. A secret smile.
“Dating?” He shrugged and let go of my face. He held my hand in his and ran his thumb over the back of my hand.
“Well whatever this is, I took her advice and now I’m here.” My back was pressed agaisnt the slightly cooler white wall and I shifted a little “I thought showing you would make it easy for you to walk away and then you’d be safe, then I saw Holly and you were so fucking adamant that I wasn’t bad I knew I had to make that choice for you.” I shook my head at his words. None of it made sense. “It wasn’t until Chloe said you’d flew halfway over the other side of the world I knew I’d fucked it for real.” I held in the desire to roll my eyes and pushed against his chest softly before I made my way to the edge of the balcony to take in the views. His fingers traced over the bare skin of my back and I closed my eyes briefly. “I couldn’t lose you, when the words left her mouth I thought shit I’ve just lost the love of my life.” He paused and stopped himself almost instantly, his eyes mimicked mine and grew wide. Dear in headlights sprung to mind.
“The what?” I stammered on my words, he flushed red and raised his brow.
“What?” I turned to face him and his eyes ran over my chest.
“You just said,” I searched for eye contact and watched as he grew a little deeper red in colour. His Adam’s Apple rose and fell and I watched as he reached for the back of his neck.
“I won’t fuck up again Avay I swear.” I shook my head, my heart was pounding as I stepped closer to him.
“Say it again?” I whispered, he frowned and stayed silent. I huffed when he didn’t respond and began to walk away from him.
“I think I’m falling in love with you Avaya.” He pulled lightly on my wrist and I fell into his large arms. I fought to catch my breath and watched as he bent down to kiss me softly. I ran my hands around his neck and squeezed his shoulders.
“You think or you know?” I raised my brow at him and watched as he smirked and shrugged.
“I told you I was shit at this.” I chuckled slightly and ran my nose over his. We stood in silence for a while as I tried to grasp the concept of somebody like him loving somebody like me. The truth was I loved him and I think I was already in love with him. I felt his hands drop towards my bum. “You don’t have much on do you?” He teased.
“Not really.” I glanced down towards my white bikini and grew red.
“You’re tanned.” He announced and I laughed a little. Had he only just realised? I leant to plant a kiss against his stubble.
“I’ve been in the sun for 4 days?” I moved from his grasp and made my way towards our tiny kitchenette. I pulled a can of spanish beer out and threw it towards him. He frowned in my direction as he caught it and I cracked mine before I took a big sip. I wasn’t sure how else to react to his confession. I wasn’t ready to admit it out loud.
“Av it’s 4pm?” He looked down towards his can and I shrugged before I made my way towards our little wicker sofa.
“I’m on holiday? I could wake up and drink vodka and that would be fine.” He rolled his eyes as he took his seat next to me. The wicker sofa creaked under the pressure of us both on it.
“You know if you’d have told Jay you were staying in a 2 star apartment complex he would have upgraded you this is fucking shocking.” I laughed and took another sip of my beer.
“I don’t want your money Haz. I never have.” My eyes lowered as I glanced towards him from the corners of my eye. He was smirking as he placed the can against his lips. His arm fell across my shoulders and I felt him play with the string of my bikini. I tilted my head up to look at him. His blue eyes darkened and I bit down on my lip softly.
“Honestly you need to put clothes on…” I watched his dark gaze dip towards my chest and cleared my throat. My groin tensed with desire and I nudged him softly.
“You know just because you're here and you’ve admitted all of this doesn’t mean I forget what you did? I want an answer as to why and what you plan on doing to fix this…” I blurted out my true feelings. “Whatever this may be.” He smirked and saluted me.
“Yes mam,” I shook my head and smiled. “Nancy knows that I’m taking you out later, I’ll explain all then.” He ran his hand over my back again and I placed my head on his shoulders.
“Okay.” His sentence replayed over in my head and I stood up. “Hang on Nancy knew you were coming?” I scoffed and watched as he laughed. A whole hearted laugh and it made me want to burst.
“Oh yeah and Soph.” He winked at me as he stood from the sofa. “Be ready for 7?” He grinned, placed his beer down on our kitchenette and made his way towards the door. He was still grinning as he made his way out of the door.
“Ladies…” He gestured at Nance and Soph who were entering our apartment and my frown lowered at them. They are in trouble. I folded my arms across my chest and watched as they both cringed when the door closed behind them.
I watched as they sheepishly placed their bags on the sofa and smiled awkwardly at me. I frowned deeply at them both and watched Soph beam at me.
“Oh Avaya he sounded so upset when he called and we both knew you were upset too.” She fluttered her lovely long thick black lashed in my direction all whilst Nance stood as still as a statue.
“Did you really not want to see him?” Her voice was low and almost apologetic. I shrugged at her question.
“I did want to see him. I mean I needed answers?” I glanced back at my two best friends and half smiled as I dropped my arms to my side. I knew they only did something when they thought they were 100% right about something. They must have known how upset I’d been deep down and I laughed at the thought of him paying them off to keep their mouths shut and let a laugh escape my lips.
“So are you going to dinner with him or not?” Soph’s eyebrows wriggled around her face and I smiled.
“I am, he’s coming to pick me up at 7,” I glared at the both of them, they knew they’d kinda crossed lines and Nance shrugged her shoulders “So that means I need to shower.” My feet covered ground quickly and heard the pitter-patter of their feet behind me as I pulled my bikini off and turned on the shower.
“Can we choose what you wear? Did you bring any nice underwear?” As I turned to the sound of Sophia’s voice I lowered my eyes but her vibrant big smile caught mine.
“No, did you?” I threw my bikini top her way and heard them cackle.
“Of course she did…” Nance nudged her as I stepped into the steamy shower. This wasn’t a rare occurrence sharing a bathroom with them. This had been our college life, the memory of Sophia being stuck in the shower covered in purple hair dye from head to toe sprung to my mind and I laughed a little to myself. I remembered scrubbing her skin because she’d turned into Violet Beauregarde.
“So? What did he pay you?” I watched as Soph covered her chest with her hand and chuckled as the water trickled down my back.
“Not a penny actually! He said he’d only be here for a night, he asked how you were and I didn’t lie,” she was now rambling as she exposed their plans and Nance thumped her arm.
“She told him you were unstable.” A large smile spread the length of my face.
“Is that so?” They both went silent as I washed the soapy foam from my hair. “I don’t think I’ve been too bad?” A scoff came from Soph’s direction. She was now perched on the toilet and Nance sat on the bathroom floor.
“Nah course not.” Soph threw a towel at me as I turned off the shower. I wrapped the fluffy brilliant white towel around myself and stepped from the shower. They both studied me and I flushed a deep shade of red.
“Please stop looking at me like that.” I watched Soph grin and she placed her head against her hand that was resting on her knee.
“I wanna
know what you’ve given him, no man I’ve ever met would travel 4 hours to see a girl for one night…” I watched her eyes examine mine and I shook my head.
“I haven’t given him anything.” I lied. Only my virginity. A small choking sound came from behind us where Nance was hauling herself up from off the cold tiled floor in the bathroom. I shook my head and left them bickering behind me.
I placed the full length mirror against the wall in our bedroom and posed in front of it. I sighed and pulled the shirt off over my head before I flopped back on it in defeat. I had nothing to wear. I lay back and looked at the ceiling. My heels dangling off my feet, I heard the door creak.
“I know you’ve been hot for him but please tell me you’re wearing more than that?” Nance grinned, her red hair was vibrant under the lighting of the apartment and I sat up.
“I have nothing to wear so maybe he’ll get lucky hey?” I rolled my eyes as I stood up off the bed and watched her haul my suitcase towards where she was stood on the other side of the double bed we were sharing.
“You have! You brought loads of nice things!” I felt my frow furrow and watched as she pulled every single piece of clothing out and threw it to one side. “You have a nice white one…” she was now frantically searching “where the fucking hell has it gone?” I expelled the heels off my feet and helped her look for the one I think she was talking about. “Aha! There you are!” She pulled it from the bottom of the case in one triumphant swoop and I laughed. Grinning like a cheshire cat she threw it at me and nodded. “That’s the one you should wear.” I looked around the room of the contents of my case all over the place and rolled my eyes again. I hope she’s tidying this up… I pulled the tight material over my hair, being careful not to wipe off any makeup and fight with it over my hips. I heard a whistle from the door and watched Soph grin.