Run

by Anna White

  "Ask her what's going on Haz? She's shut down a little. Even at work…" I didn't need to hear anymore. I was hurting her again. I promised her I'd never hurt her again and I was. I watched as she kissed her mums cheek and walked past me. I reached and gripped her fingers in mine as she glanced up for less than a second. There was that undeniable charge between us. I watched her walk away towards the toilets and excused myself from a boring conversation with university lectures. I followed her and locked the bathroom door behind me. She'd gone into a disabled loo and I glanced around it. She had just pulled up her knickers and I gulped as she flushed.

  "I'm so proud of you Av." Her eyes were filling with tears and she nearly pushed me over from the force she hugged me with. I held her head against my chest and watched her look up at me underneath her wet lashes. I wiped her tears and was careful not to smudge her make up. My heart ached seeing her upset.

  "Av tell me what's going on?" I whispered and watched her shake her head.

  "I don't know." Her voice was shaking as she placed her lips against mine. A groan escaped my lips as her fingers tangled in my hair and she pushed me against the bathroom door. Her kisses were frantic and needy and as my hand dropped to her arse she bit her lip. "I just need you." Her tone was breathy and sexy and I watched as she stepped out of her knickers. I felt my length growing in my trousers and cleared my throat. Her bright green eyes looked darker now as she kissed me again and started to undo my trousers. "Av," I tried to catch her attention. To ask her why now of all the times but I was so consumed with desire, I didn't really care. I picked her up and pushed her back against the cool tiled bathroom wall and heard her gasp. I pulled her dress around her waist as we kissed and dropped her on my length. I watched her eyes close and her lips part as she moaned my name. That sound made me weak. I fucked her. Harder just like she asked. It was quick and dirty and when we were finished and I placed her on her feet she kissed me slowly. "I love you." She ran her hand over my stubble and went to unlock the door. I pulled her arm back and pinned her to the door she'd just tried to unlock.

  "Tell me what's wrong Av? What have I done?" Tears pricked in my eyes and I watched her bite down on her lip.

  "I can't do this for the rest of my life Haz." She was now looking directly at me and my stomach churned. "I can't fuck you in the bathroom of my graduation forever. I can't avoid you in the day and spend the nights in your bed." Her voice cracked as she looked away from my eyes. "I'm in love with you Harry. So fucking in love with you," she wiped a tear off her face and took a breath "but I can't do this for the rest of my life. I can't hide us to keep myself safe." I watched her gulp and ran my fingers over her cheek. Her eyes closed and she kissed my hand softly. "We should get back." I shook my head at her and held her there for a while.

  "Av don't," I tried to hold on to my voice and I shook my head as I released her. "Is this it then?" I muttered and watched her kiss my cheek.

  "Please don't go back on that shit Haz. Don't kill yourself." I shook my head frantically and gripped onto her.

  "Please Av, don't fucking do this." I was begging. She couldn’t look me in the eyes. She glanced towards me and prized my hands off her.

  “Haz don’t make this harder.” Her eyes were full of tears again and for the first time in a long time I felt water escape my eyes. She unlocked the bathroom and made her way out of the loo. I followed her as I wiped my eyes, she shook her head at me. I gripped her hands in mine.

  “Where has this come from?” I questioned. People surrounded us today should have been one of the best days of her life. “Tell me Av? What have I done?” I pleaded with her and she stood still.

  “I can’t.” She whispered and blinked away tears. She pressed something into the palm of my hand and then released them. I watched her walk away. This all felt too real and far too final. I glanced down at a piece of paper in them and placed it in my pocket. My chest became tighter and a familiar burning feeling re-appeared. I ran my hand over my head and searched for Jay. I needed to get out of here.

  Jay was still standing speaking to somebody and no matter what I tried he didn’t look up. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I saw him calling.

  “Why are you at her graduation?” He questioned. His tainted Italian accent made everything in me bubble.

  “What do you want with her?” I muttered. I’d never felt a pain like this. My chest hurt. I placed my hand against it and heard him laugh.

  "Aww Harry you don't seem yourself?" His tone was patronising and I shook my head.

  "What have you said to her?" I spat at him. He continued to laugh and I placed the phone down and in my pocket. I wanted nothing more to do with him. He'd done something or said something to her I knew it. My eyes were really welling up as I looked back up Lena was standing next to me.

  "What's wrong Harry?" She squeezed my arm, her grip was comforting and as I looked towards her I gulped down the lump in my throat, forcing a smile.

  "Nothing Lena, I'm okay." I sounded sure of this when in reality I was anything but.

  I powered through more speeches and formalities and held it together well. As best as I could. Chlo had said Av had left pretty much straight after the ceremony and nobody knew where she'd gone. My chest thudded at the sound of her name. We were chatting with a man from another business who was involved in the graduate scheme and I placed my hand in my pocket. I felt the note and as I took it out her fancy writing covered the piece of paper.

  'I never wanted to hurt you and I'll love you for the rest of my life. I've done this for you… I'll see you at Honey's and Mike's Wedding.x'

  I gripped the note in my hand and exhaled. I closed my eyes momentarily and felt Chlo grip my arm. She peaked over my shoulder and read the note. Her dark eyes glazed over.

  "What the fuck is that?" She questioned under her breath. I shook my head and placed my arm around her softly.

  "She's just left me." Her eyes flickered and widened at my words. I couldn't make eye contact with her. I felt her squeeze me tightly and gulped.

  "There's a message in there Haz. I don't think this was her choice?" I watched her place the note back in my pocket. "I know her Haz." Her voice was sad. So sad and my guess was that mine would be worse.

  "I hope your right. I don't think I'll make it if your not Chlo." The sound of desperation left my mouth. A sound I'd never heard before.

  Holt - Sunday

  I knew I'd told him to meet me at Mike and Honey's wedding but now I wasn't so sure I was ready to tell him. I no longer felt sure of myself. Soph and Nance had joined me at home and the sinking feeling returned again. I felt empty. I ached for him. Nance pulled a face and exhaled.

  "You've been so quiet since graduation?" She questioned as though she wanted a response however I didn't want to answer her. Soph looked up from her phone and sighed.

  "Are you going to the wedding?" I shrugged. I hadn't made up my mind. "Honey and Mike won't miss us if we don't go?" She added softly and I felt Nance place her head on my shoulder. I frowned a little and went to open my mouth.

  "I have to go. He deserves to know?" I watched their eyes examine mine and I cleared my throat. They knew very little about any of the situation. I looked at my plate of toast and watched Nance tilt her head towards it.

  "You gonna eat that?" I shook my head. I didn't want it. I wasn't hungry. I hadn't been hungry for a while. She sighed and I closed my eyes as I squeezed her arm.

  The venue was spectacular. Honey really had outdone herself. It was a quaint little mannor house in the middle of the countryside. It was the wedding I'd always dreamed of having. Soph held my hand in hers and squeezed it softly. Neither of them had asked many probing questions however they knew something was off. I was grateful they hadn't asked. Because I couldn't lie anymore. I was so tired of lying. I held Sophs hand and watched her glance back at me the second she spotted Callum. I simply nodded and watched as she ran off to smooch him. I knew it had killed her being away from him so much this last week but I'd been gra
teful for her doing it. I needed my best friends this week. Nancy was chatting to Honey. She looked stunning. She was tiny, but her dress was huge. It was like something off a Disney movie. It sparkled underneath the dimly lit marquee. She floated across the room and as she joined her groom. I took a deep breath and grabbed an orange juice from a plate off a bartender who was walking around the venue. Though it was late September it was still warm out. It was however nearly dark. I smelt him before I saw him. The bride and groom were now standing on the dance floor and began to dance to 'A thousand years' I felt my eyes filling with tears and gulped.

  "She looks great don't she?" His voice was low and fragile sounding. I just nodded. I was petrified to turn to face him. His hands ran around my waist and he took a breath in as he placed his lips against my neck. I squeezed his arms in mine as my chest constricted. "Talk to me Av." He pleaded, my eyes darted back towards where they were dancing and as the DJ told everybody to join in I was pulled closer towards his body. His hands dipped towards my waist as we began to sway from side to side.

  "Don't leave me again?" I whispered. His nose ran over mine and I held back my tears.

  "You left me Av? Tell me what's going on?" We swayed softly and his lips traced mine slowly. His words sent my stomach into a flurry of butterflies.

  "I left because I couldn't keep hiding us. I want this with you." I tilted my head towards where the bride and groom were slow dancing and watched as his eyes lowered. "I want a home here with our friends and I want your babies." I watched his eyes widen as I said the word.

  "Av," he began and I shook my head softly.

  "He won't let us have any of that will he? He's never gonna stop?" My voice threatened to break and I felt him pull me softly outside of the marquee and towards the manor house. My chest pounded as we jogged away from all of the commotion. He closed the doors behind us and pushed me softly against a wooden coated wall. His lips landed on mine in an instant as he gripped the back of my hair softly.

  "He won't stop as long as he knows you mean something to me." His lips found mine again and I felt tears fall from my eyes. "You're always gonna mean something to me." His thumb caught my tears and I glanced in his pale blue eyes. They were pained and full of tears ready to escape. "So no matter what he's always gonna come for you Av." I shook my head and held his arms.

  "He just wants you back on his side." I tasted my tears as I spoke and watched him frown.

  "What'd you mean?" He looked confused.

  "I met with him before graduation. He made me promise to end things with you, he told me he needed you back on his side but didn't say why." His eyes searched my face.

  "Why didn't you tell me Avay?" Guilt flooded me, I placed my hand over my stomach slightly and gulped. His hand was still holding my face. My mouth had now gone dry and I closed my eyes as I shook my head. It was then that my brain stopped working. "Av tell me what the fucks going on?" I tore my eyes open and examined his.

  "I don't know what's going on Haz! We have to keep quiet for him to leave you alone." My voice sounded irate and he cupped my face again.

  "Then that's what we're gonna do." He breathed. "It's fucking killed me how you've been Av." I gulped and shook my head as I ran my fingers through his hair. "We'll fix it. I can give you the fancy wedding and the home with our friends." His words spiraled and I half smiled between my salty tears. "We're in so much fucking trouble Av." I half sobbed and half laughed. My make up had to be all over the place as we stood still like forbidden lovers against an old wooden paneled wall just in a staircase.

  "What the fuck are we meant to do?" I whispered and watched his shoulders rise and fall. He wiped my tears away along with the majority of my make up and kissed my lips.

  "I dunno but promise me you'll never hide something like that from me again?" I nodded. I should have told him. It's killed both of us to be like this. He pulled on my hands as he backed up the staircase. I followed him and watched him smile a little. "Do you really wanna get married?" He raised his brow and I shrugged before I flushed a little.

  "I ent got a clue what I want anymore." I admitted as I followed him up the small wooden staircase. His suit was the same one he'd worn to Harvey and Grace's wedding and I examined him. Somehow he filled it better now. I felt him run his thumb over the back of my hand and it was then that I knew I was safe.

  Vens - Monday

  I'd watched her all night. Well pretty much all night. Her breathing was mellow, it whistled between her lips as she pouted occasionally. I ran my fingers over her jaw as I moved her dark hair from her face. She moaned a little and my heart thudded. Her hand guided mine to her lips and she kissed my fingertips. Her eyes fluttered open, dark with want and my cock twitched in my boxers. I shook my head a little and watched her smile up at me softly. I watched as she guided her hand over her chest and down her stomach towards the top of her knickers. She bit down on her lip softly and I cleared my throat as I ran my fingers over the waist band. My cock grew in my boxers as she ran her hands over my shoulders and down my chest. I could feel my heart pounding.

  "What's up Vens?" She breathed as she flexed and stretched next to me. Her voice was soft and sleepy sexy. I shook my head and watched as she climbed to straddle me. My hands dropped to her hips and as I squeezed them I pulled her down to me. Her perfectly rounded boobs looked somewhat swollen as I placed my lips against hers.

  "I could ask you the same question Holt?" I raised my brow and watched as she shrugged. "I've never seen you so forward." She was always shy. But she wasn't this morning. She knew what she wanted. I took her tits in my hands and squeezed them softly. Her eyes closed as I wrapped my lips around the right one and rolled my tongue over the nipple.

  "Haz." She whimpered as I did it again. I stopped and looked back up towards her face. Her mouth was slightly open as I kissed her bottom lip.

  "I'd like you to tell me what you want Avaya." She grinned and placed her lips against mine.

  "I'd like this," she bit my lip before she took my hand in hers. "Here." She placed my hand between her legs. I could feel the moisture through the thin lace knickers. I smirked and chuckled.

  "I thought you'd never ask." I grinned as I took off her knickers and pulled her back down on my face. She laughed a little before my lips traced her inner thigh.

  "Shit." She muttered as her head tilted backwards, I could smell how turned on she was and I wanted nothing more than to taste how turned on she was.

  She was getting dressed. Her cheeks were still flushed red after our morning of passion. She was insatiable. I watched her pull on her baby blue wrapped dress and placed on my shoes. The hotel room was a slight mess. I bent down to throw her knickers to her. She smirked as she caught them.

  "I thought you'd be keeping them?" I chuckled and shook my head.

  "No you've gotta go for breakfast with a room full of other men." She laughed and landed a kiss on my cheek before she put them back on.

  "Okay you win." She placed her fingers in mine and went to unlock the door. I watched as she hesitated and ran my thumb over the back of her hand in an effort to soothe her. People would have realised that neither of us were around last night. If we went down to breakfast together we'd be 100% sussed. I raised my brow and pulled her hand to my mouth. "I should probably leave first hey?" Her eyes wandered over me and I smirked.

  "I don't care if the whole room knows we spent the night in bed together." I watched her roll her eyes and smirked.

  "Please don't make this more difficult." I sighed with her and pulled her into me. She smiled softly and her eyes danced a little as she ran her hand against my chest. "I need to eat." She muttered as her mouth invaded mine. I was relishing her heightened sex drive but I pulled away softly.

  "You go down, I'll join you shortly." I watched her frown a little before she nodded and left me alone in my hotel room. With a raging hard on. Again.

  By the time I got there she'd got her breakfast and was sipping on a cup of tea around a table full of big wigs. Sh
e’d become so much more comfortable around them since I’d first met her. I smirked at her as I grabbed some orange juice and took my seat opposite her at the round table. Harvey was amongst some of the big wigs sat around the table and he’d placed his arm over the back of her chair. She rolled her eyes at him and he grinned.

  “I didn’t realise you’d got a room booked?” He probed her, she smiled sweetly.

  “I went up early. I had a terrible headache.” She bit into her toast that was covered in butter and I laughed to myself. Harvey glanced towards me and raised his brow.

  “So what’s going on between the pair of you?” He wriggled his brows and mine furrowed. I had no idea how to respond to him. Av continued to eat her breakfast and was smiling at Grace who had now slapped Harvey around the head.

  “Christ sake Harv! I leave for two seconds and you waste no time in throwing yourself at her.” She rolled her brows as she sat next to her husband. He was now grinning at her. Grace was a saint. If he was my husband I’d have killed him years ago. She was a pretty girl. She smiled softly at me and I watched her throat gulp. Av was now frowning at her a little and I grinned.

  “Would anybody like any fruit juice?” I rose from my seat and watched Av nod.

  “I’ll go and grab some.” She walked towards the fruit juice stand and as I reached for the apple juice she touched my hand softly.

  “Can I ask you a question?” She muttered as she poured her apple juice.

  “Anything.” I whispered back towards her.

  “Anything ever happened between you and Grace?” She glanced at me underneath her eyelashes and I stifled my laugh. She pushed me a little. I glanced around the room, everybody was too busy socialising to notice us.

  “No.” Her shoulders squared off as she turned to face me.

  “She squeezed her legs together when she sat down and smiled at you.”

  “Oh aren’t you observant.” I teased as she frowned.