“And just like that, he’s going to get his way, I can’t say no to that now. Damn him for making me love him so much!” I giggled as Bart got into the cab of the truck.
“Do I want to know what’s so funny?” He reached for Bliss’ hand, holding it tightly.
“Nothing my love, I just agreed to get married before the baby comes, that’s all. Don’t look so pleased, I just understand that if it’s important to you I’m willing to compromise. Since you got to decide when, I get to decide how big it will be.” Bliss was smiling like the cat who caught the mouse, while Bart groaned before putting the truck in drive. I had a feeling that he knew what she had planned, and he wasn’t too thrilled with it. It felt good to laugh, it felt good to be with friends, and it felt less like my heart was breaking.
Once we got to the bar Bart went to visit with Matt, while we stole Jesse away for some girl time. Both seemed reluctant to let the other out of their sight, but they didn’t argue. Something going on there, and denying it was a waste of time. You could feel the pull between them like it was a physical thing. Matt never took his eyes off Jesse as we danced, drank, well she drank, while Bliss and I had water. Soon she was pretty drunk, and Bliss gave me a mischievous smile, she had a plan.
“Hey Jesse, have you noticed Matt hasn’t taken his eyes off you the whole night?” Jesse looked back at Matt who was cleaning the bar for like the hundredth time since we came in, while looking right at Jesse. She blushed all over, shaking her head.
“It doesn’t mean anything; he says I’m not his type. He holds me all night long, and nothing, not even an early morning pop tent. He’s just overprotective of me, that’s all.” She waved at him smiling like a crazy person. Shockingly he waved back smiling, just like her. Sure, he wasn’t interested.
“Wait, are you telling me you sleep together, but aren’t having sex?” Bliss looked just as shocked as I was. Matt either truly didn’t want her, or he deserved some major brownie points for being such a gentleman.
“Oh shit, I wasn’t supposed to say that, was I. Don’t tell him I told you, he just holds me, so I don’t wake up screaming. Ooops! There I go again, wasn’t supposed to talk about that either, sorry.” Jesse got up and started walking across the bar towards Matt, clearly intending on telling him everything she’d just told us. Bliss and I looked at each other with mirrored looks of concern.
“Do you know anything about that?” I asked Bliss, but she just shrugged.
“After she got here, I gave her your number to get some help, because it was clear that something happened to her. She wouldn’t really talk to me about anything, except to say she had to leave her parents place. But I could tell there was something else, I had no idea it was giving her nightmares. Now I feel like a total bitch for giving Matt hell for hitting on her, if he’s able to be there for her, he’s my hero.” We both turned as we heard Jesse scream. She was about halfway to the bar, and some very drunk guy had his hand around her waist trying to get her to dance. Both Bliss and I started toward her, but before we made it, Matt was there pummeling the guy.
“Don’t ever touch what belongs to me!” Matt kept saying it over, and over again as he punched the guy. Bart and two of his bouncers finally pulled him away from the guy hauling his ass outside. Jesse looked like a deer caught in the headlights.
“You said I wasn’t your type, you lied to me.” They were barely above a whisper, but Matt flinched at them.
“Yes, but let me explain Jesse, please.” Jesse looked angry; no, she looked down right pissed off.
“I let you touch me, I let you hold me, you swore it was in friendship. You lied to me! I trusted you, and you lied to me.” She felt betrayed by the one person she’d felt comfortable enough to show her vulnerable side to. Running past the gawkers, she made her way to the stairs in the back of the bar leading to the office. Matt cursed under his breath before heading after her.
“Nope, nothing going on between those two at all.” Bliss laughed aloud as we made our way out the door, ladies night clearly over for all of us. Bart looked confused, while I kept wondering how Matt had hidden his feelings for so long. It had been obvious to us. How could Jesse miss it?
Those thoughts lead me to think about my own situation with a certain biker bad boy. He had good intentions, just like Matt. Would Jesse listen to him, let him explain, or would she tell him to get out and don’t come back? Was I a fool for not giving Castor the benefit of the doubt? He’d explained why he no longer cared who fathered my child, because he wanted me no matter what else. He hadn’t said he wouldn’t raise the baby, he’d simply said he wanted me with or without the baby.
Don’t get me wrong, I wanted him to want the baby, but I wanted him to want me too. Did I want him to want me because of the baby, or in spite of it? God, I hated hormones, I hated doubts, and I hated feeling like I wasn’t in control of the situation. Damn it, I wanted the man. I wanted him in the morning, in the evening, and twice at night if I could have him. I wanted him with the baby or without the baby, did that make me a bad person, no. So why had I decided that he was the bad person in all of this?
Granted, I felt like he didn’t trust me completely, but had I really given him my full trust. Not really, I didn’t wait for him to try and help with Michael. No, instead I took control to keep him safe. I was just as guilty of distrust as he was, and yet I’d condemned him for it. We both made mistakes, but that didn’t mean our baby had to suffer for them. It was time for me to take control of the situation; I just hoped it worked out the way I wanted it to.
“Bart, would you do me a favor and drop me off at your father's house please?” Bliss whirled around to face me, giving me a what-the-hell look. I shrugged my shoulders, not even sure what my plan was, but knowing I needed to see Castor.
“Are you feeling alright? Should we take you to the hospital?” Bliss asked with a smile on her face.
“No, I just realized there are some things that need to be cleared up between us, or we’ll never be able to move forward.” She gave me the thumbs up as Bart pulled into the driveway a few minutes later. I still didn’t know what I was going to say, but I was sure I’d figure it out before I got to the door. “Thank you, I’ll call you tomorrow and let you know how things went.” Before either of them could stop me, I was out the truck and halfway up the driveway.
How to start the conversation was still being worked out when I knocked on the door. It swung open to reveal Castor in nothing, but a pair of sleep pants. All thoughts left my brain as I focused on his body. Fuck, why did he have to look so damn good? My panties were sopping wet just looking at him, damn hormones. “Sure, keep telling yourself that” a tiny voice inside my head said.
My mouth wouldn’t work as he looked me up and down with hunger in his eyes. It was like the flood gates opened just from him looking at me. Feeling a little feisty, I put my hand on my hip and gave him my best sexy smirk, which probably looked like I swallowed a stinky fish.
“See anything you like?” His sexy ass grin spread across his face before he pulled me inside against his body.
Chapter Eighteen
POPS
Seeing her on my doorstep in that dress and heels, all coherent thought left my brain and traveled south straight to my dick. Feeling her next to me was like a fire lit up on my balls, damn I wanted her. “I don’t like what I see, I love what I see gorgeous.” Grabbing a fist full of her hair, I pulled her head back to make her look at me; her eyes held warmth and understanding that wasn’t there before. She slipped her tongue out to wet her plump lips; I couldn’t resist the invitation any longer.
Leaning down I captured her lips with mine, she invaded my senses, making me moan against her lips. You never know how much you miss something so small until it’s taken from you. I nibbled on her bottom lip, coaxing her tongue out to play with mine. Our tongues dueling together, created an electric current between us. For a moment I had my doubts that she was truly there in my arms. I’d had so many dreams lately of just this
happening, that I briefly thought of pinching myself. Before I could give her exactly what we both wanted, I needed to know what changed, and she needed to know what I’d found out from the doctor. I just prayed when everything was said and done, she wouldn’t pull away from me again.
Pulling away from her, she murmured in protest, clinging to my biceps. I was tempted to say the hell with talking and give into both of our desires, but then she would probably hate me again come morning. Needing this to last beyond one night, I reluctantly had her sit down on the couch. She wasn’t very happy when I took a spot on the chair on the other side of the room. When she moved to come towards me, I put my hand up.
“Please, as much as I want you right now, we need to talk. Don’t you think sweetheart?” Huffing slightly, she crossed her arms under her breasts, causing the dress to be even tighter against them. Fuck, this was going to be harder than I thought. Even with sleep pants on my shit was getting tight. “Believe me, there’s nothing more I’d like to do than to pull the dress up, bend you over the nearest piece of furniture and fuck you senseless, but we need to clear the air between us before any of that.” She rubbed her thighs together, and I could tell my words turned her on even more. Good, I was glad I wasn’t the only one suffering at this moment.
“You’re right, I know you are, but couldn’t we talk after. I wouldn’t have come here if I didn’t want to, shouldn’t that count for something.” She was showing me her vulnerable side, and the dick in me wanted to make her suffer a little longer, but the man inside of me knew how much it took for her to show me this side of her. I couldn’t use that against her, no matter what the case may be, I loved her too much for that shit.
“It does count for something sugar, but we have too much standing between us right now. You would hate yourself tomorrow, or me, or both of us. I don’t want that for you, I want tonight to be our new beginning, and I don’t want anything to taint that. Now, do you want to tell me what changed your mind, or what made you decide to come here?” She looked down at her fingernails; I could see the wheels turning even from where I sat. I’d never seen her unsure of herself, she was always so in charge of who she was. The fact that I was part of the reason she was unsure of herself pissed me off. My actions, my words, made her feel this way, and I needed to fix that shit.
“I saw something tonight that made me realize that the same thing I accused you of doing to me, I was doing to you. It wasn’t fair of me; I didn’t trust you any more than you trusted me. It wasn’t fair of me to not trust you; you gave me no reason not to trust you and every reason to.” She looked at me with hopeful eyes; she needed me to make the next move.
“Do you finally get that I’m not them? That I’ll never be them, I may not be perfect, but I’ll never turn into those men. Will you trust that just because I call you “my woman” doesn’t mean you have no say in our life? Because honey, I plan to claim you for all to see you as “my woman”, I need to know you understand that. I need to know that you understand the difference in who I am, and what they were. I’ll never share you with anyone; I’ll never lay a hand on you in any way but lovingly. I won’t put up with anyone disrespecting you, but I will make sure everyone knows you are mine.” Her eyes grew as round as saucers listening to me, her lips parted as she thought for a second to argue, but then they closed just as quickly and instead nodded. “I need to hear the words Bethy.”
“I know that you aren’t them, you are so far from what they were, that I don’t even understand how I could compare you to them. Hearing you say things like “make you mine” sent me in panic mode, made me see things that weren’t really there. Made memories I’d tried to outrun for so long, come flooding to the surface. But I should have looked, really looked at how you were with your men, but more importantly how you were with Bliss. You were willing to go to therapy with her, willing to do whatever it took to help her get past what she went through. The fact that you took her in when she was a teenager to keep her from someone that acted so close to how my own father did should have said it all loud and clear.” Seeing the tears streaming down her face, I can’t stay away from her anymore, it’s my kryptonite. I needed to comfort her and touching her made me feel better too. Moving over to the couch, I pulled her into my arms tucking her head under my chin.
“You had every right to panic baby, I stood for everything you wanted to avoid, everything you wanted to forget about your own past. Just like the way you make me feel scared the shit out of me, the last time I had feelings even close to what I have for you, it turned out to be a lie. Then to have you tell me about the baby, it felt it was happening again, that what we’d had was a lie. I wasn’t fair either, I had no reason not to believe you, but I couldn’t think straight in the hospital. Not an excuse, because then when I went to your house I completely screwed that up. You know I practiced my speech for two days before I even had the nerve to head over to your place, I had it all planned and then it went to shit as soon as I opened my mouth.” She giggled against my chest, making me smile; it gave me hope that we would be alright.
“Yeah that wasn’t your best work, although I’m not sure I was much better when I told you about the baby. I didn’t want to spring it on you like that, my hormones are out of whack, and I lost my shit. My plan was to tell you how much I loved you first; you know butter you up before I dropped the bomb. Clearly, we both need work on our communication skills, which is funnier for me than you because I’m a fucking therapist; it’s kind of my job to be able to communicate. Don’t laugh, it’s true, if word gets out I can’t communicate can you imagine how my business will decline.” She smacked me against my chest when I continued to laugh at her; it was cute that she was worried about word getting out about her being stubborn. I was pretty sure the whole town knew exactly how stubborn she was, but there was no way I was going to be the one to break it to her. I valued my life and limbs too much for that shit.
She snuggled against my chest, running her nose along it, making it hard for me to think clearly. Just having her near me made it hard, but when she started to touch me, I was fucking lost. There was something about her that soothed my whole being, it brought me peace. Her scent, her touch, her body, her heart, and her soul sang me a lullaby that only I could hear.
“Baby, if you keep that up I won’t be responsible for my actions, you’re tempting my beast within. I’m trying to be a gentleman, you know, talk about our relationship, hash things out, but I’m no saint.” Her lips latched onto one of my nipples sucking it between her teeth before nipping at it. Fuck, this woman was going to kill me at this rate.
“What if I want you to be the devil instead of the saint?” She looked up at me with hooded eyes, filled with promise. Standing up suddenly from where we were sitting; she looked upset until I reached down to pick her up. She squeaked a small protest, as I carried her back to my bedroom slung over my shoulder. “Put me down, you’ll hurt your back; you just got out the hospital two weeks ago.” Smacking her on her ass, I kept walking.
“You weigh nothing, I’m taking you to my bedroom to fuck you senseless, and then we will continue our discussion. That way you will agree to whatever I say, because you will be too satisfied to argue, see I win.” She tried to swat my ass, but before she could, I dumped her on my bed with a bounce.
“Too satisfied huh, I’ll be the judge of that. What if you are so satisfied you agree to everything I say?” She yanked down my sleep pants in a blink of an eye, sliding down from the bed onto her knees on the floor. Wrapping her hands around my cock, she gazed up at me mischievously. I hoped she realized two could play this game. I will say though, once her mouth was around my cock, I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to tell her just that.
She hollowed out her cheeks, while fondling my balls with her hand, fuck if I didn’t feel close to coming already. Holding onto my restraint, I took my time watching her make my cock disappear between her lips, each time going deeper than the last until she was able to slide it all the way down her throat. I
groaned resisting the urge to fuck her mouth, trying to just enjoy the feel of her throat muscles flexing around the head of my cock. She started to hum in the back of her throat, and I almost lost it. It was too much, and yet just enough pleasure. The vibrations traveled all the way to my balls and up my back the pleasure was so intense. The look of triumph on her face was the only thing that kept me from coming down her throat.
“You think you’re pretty slick, huh babe? It’s my turn now.” I chuckled a little before I hauled her up and tossed her back on the bed yanking her butt to the edge of the bed, I prepared to have my feast. Her pussy was glistening in the light, I ran my finger down the length of her, and her back arched off the bed with a moan. Before I delved in I started to hum, she looked down at me between her legs, smiling. Latching onto her clit I continued to hum, her reaction was instant, legs began closing around my head, and the begging began. I wasn’t having that shit; I gripped her thighs in my hands and spread her wide for me to devour her. She tasted like all my favorite sugary sweets, and I never wanted to stop feasting.
“Castor, please, oh god, yes.” She was incoherent with pleasure, and as she thrashed about, it took all my effort to keep her in place. I circled her clit, avoided the little nub, instead bringing her to the brink without letting her fall over just yet. “Stop teasing me, you bastard, and make me come!” She growled out, when I avoided her clit to lick her from top to bottom stopping to pump my tongue in and out of her heat.
“Patience my love, I promise it will be worth it.” She glared down at me, making me wonder if my dick would be safe after what I was doing to her, but figured it was worth the risk to hear her scream in a few seconds. Letting go of one of her legs, I ran my finger over her clit gently, using circular soft strokes. She was building to an explosion, and I wanted to hear her scream. Dipping first one then two fingers at the sound of her frustrated huff, I curled my fingers just slightly and began to fuck her with them. Her head was thrashing from side to side, she was calling my name, and her hand came up gripping my wrist, before she unleashed her explosion. She screamed my name, and it was fucking music to my ears.
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