“Stop it,” Naomi says, and I cock my head. “I can see your wheels turning, when what you should be doing is hustling that skinny ass of yours to the young adult section.”
“Okay. Okay.” My hand trails down Neb’s arm. His very muscular arm. “Do you mind if I ditch you for a few minutes?”
He grabs my hand and kisses my fingers.
Right, that’s why I didn’t mind skipping my books.
“It’ll take me that long to put these books away. I’ll meet you at the register.”
“Okay, I’ll—”
“Oh my god, GO!” Naomi shoves me away from Neb and calls over her shoulder. “See you in a few!” Then she leads me through the maze of bookshelves.
“How have you already navigated this place?”
She laughs over her shoulder. “Because I didn’t have a hottie to stare at.”
My face flames. “Is it that obvious?”
“That he’s hot? Yes.”
“No, that I’m staring.”
“Yes, but he’s staring too. It’s cute. As soon as one of you looks away, the other starts to ogle, like your heads are on this pendulum.” She turns her head from side to side, her hands out wide like she’s pulling the strings of a marionette.
“I feel bad leaving him alone.”
“He’ll live.” She stops suddenly and I run into her. “And what was that look before about?”
I reach blindly for the books next to us and yank one off the shelf. “This is supposed to be really good.”
“Sage.”
The cover comes into focus and I stifle a laugh. Vampirina Going Batty. “No, really. It’s like a bestseller.”
She takes the book from me and puts it back on the shelf. “Vampirina will not get you out of this.” Her hand finds mine and she squeezes. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Do you promise not to self-help me?”
A smile spreads across her face. “No.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t know. I’m scared that I’m falling into my same patterns. You know, history repeating itself and all that.” My love of history has taught me that mankind is destined to make the same mistakes over and over again, and why would I be any different?
“Is this about Asston?”
My sigh is my answer.
“Sage, I can’t change the bullshit you went through with him. Believe me, if I could, I would. But you can’t doubt every guy from here on out. Neb seems really genuine.”
“Seems.”
“Has he done anything to make you think otherwise?”
“That bullshit with Tara didn’t help.”
She touches her finger to her chin. I don’t think she realizes how much she emulates her mother. “That was unfortunate. But I believe he didn’t invite her. And that he immediately kicked her out.”
“But still.”
“What do you want? He’s hot. Tara’s a barracuda. You can’t blame her for trying.”
I give her a half-smile. “Watch me.”
Naomi pulls me into a hug. Somehow she always knows exactly what I need. “Three Good Things About Having a Fishing License.”
I laugh into her hair. “You can harpoon barracuda.”
“No catch and release?”
“I don’t always have to be the nice girl.”
She steps back. “Fair enough. Are we gonna stand here all day or are you going to find a book you actually want to read?”
“Lead the way.” I pull out my phone to check the time as we round a corner and I collide with an older woman with an armful of books. The woman gasps as books fly through the air and scatter across the floor, taking my phone with them. My stomach drops when it lands with a sickening clatter on the worn tile floor and skitters away.
“Oh, dear!” she says, crouching to pick up her books when all I can see is my Precious lying facedown against a display of Star Wars toys. But I help her first because I’m nothing if not polite. Quickly stacking the books in a somewhat manageable pile, I mumble an apology then reach for my phone.
And slowly turn it over.
And nearly throw up.
My phone is a cubist painting come to life. The display lights up, but the shattered screen distorts the selfie of Naomi and me from the last day of school and a chunk’s missing from the bottom corner.
“Dude,” Naomi says from behind me. “What’d you do to my face?”
But her teasing has no effect. I’m too stunned to speak.
“Maybe we can get it fixed while we’re here.” She throws it out like a lifeline, but I can see her mentally ticking off the things we’d miss while waiting for a tech to fix my phone.
My Precious.
I cradle it against my chest. “No, I don’t want to screw up anyone’s day over my stupidity.”
Naomi gives me a look I know well. One I learned to ignore when I was dating Pax. “That was not your fault. She plowed into you. Stop blaming yourself for an accident.”
I sigh long and loud but it doesn’t release the frustration coursing through me. “Let’s go wait for Neb.”
“We’ve still got a few minutes.”
But my good mood splintered with my phone, and perusing other universes will only make me want to escape. With a deep breath, I force a smile, determined to live in this moment. Well, maybe not this exact moment, but the moment that includes my best friend, a big city, and a boy who’s turning out to be better than I dared to imagine. “I’ll tell him we’re heading to the front.” I lift my phone and my chest twists all over again. “Three Good Things About Taking a Break from Technology?”
“I’ll do it,” Naomi says, tapping out a message. “Come on.” She strides to the front of the store, a woman on a mission.
My finger trails the edge of my phone, carefully avoiding the jagged pieces of glass. “How many times am I going to check it?”
She taps a finger to her chin. “I check my phone roughly every three minutes, and since we’re here for another night, it’ll be at least two days before you can get it fixed, times however many times three minutes an hour is, times at least thirty-six hours.”
“Super helpful, thanks.” My destroyed phone chimes in my hand. A text flashes across the screen but it’s impossible to read who it’s from, let alone the actual message. “Ughhhhhhhh,” I groan, shaking it over my head.
Naomi tugs at my arm. “You’re gonna get glass in your hair.” She turns and smiles at the cashier. “Could I get a paper bag? My friend here is—” She glances at me as I stare wistfully at the screen. “Having some issues.”
The woman hands over a book-sized paper bag and Naomi holds it open as another text brightens the display. “Turn it off, then put it to bed.”
My breath quickens and my throat tightens. “Why off?”
“At least then you won’t know you’re getting messages.”
“I’ll know.”
“Think of it this way: now you can explore the city like the original explorers. Free from technology and the burdens of being connected to the—” Her phone chimes and she glances at it.
I snort. “You were saying?”
“I will be your tether to the outside world. Now turn it off.”
I do as she says and whisper goodnight as I drop it into the bag. “Will you text my mom for me? She’ll freak if I don’t check in soon.”
Naomi nods and sends the message.
“Didn’t you get my text?” Neb says from behind us.
We both turn, our mournful expressions making his eyes grow wide.
“There’s been an accident,” Naomi says.
“There was nothing we could do,” I say, holding up the bag.
He peers inside and groans. “Oh, that sucks.”
“Sucks doesn’t begin to cover it,” I say. “But I don’t want it to ruin the rest of the day.” I nod at the books in his arms. “What’d you settle on?”
“I took your advice and picked one that my dad used to read to me.” He holds up an illustrated cover of constellat
ions with a child explorer. “Plus a couple that just came out. One that’s about the discovery of gravitational waves. It says the first recorded sounds were caused when two black holes collided! And this one is about the astronomer who convinced everyone that UFOs are real. And of course I had to get deGrasse’s latest book.”
“Of course,” I say as Naomi says, “Who?”
His mouth falls. “Neil deGrasse Tyson. World-famous astrophysicist. Director of the Hayden Planetarium in New York. He’s credited with making the universe accessible to everyday people with his books, TV shows, and podcasts. Oh, and he’s also behind Pluto being declassified as a planet.”
“Ooh.” Naomi scowls. “I have a bone to pick with him about that. Picking on a planet for being different.”
Neb shrugs. “There’s a chance the decision could be reversed.”
“How are you only seventeen?” I ask, a little star-struck, no pun intended. It’s not uncommon for guys my age to be obsessive about something, but usually it’s sports or music or something a little more… accessible. The world of astrophysics and its leaders is a universe completely unknown to me.
I take the Neil book from him. The cover has the deep blues and blacks most people associate with outer space, with a swirl of stars sweeping through the title. “Astrophysics for People in a Hurry. Why do I get the feeling you already know everything in this book?”
His gentle smile makes my heart skip a beat. “My dad didn’t believe these concepts were too advanced for me. He broke them down and made them easy to understand.”
Naomi takes a book from him and turns it over to look at the description. “So you believe in UFOs?”
“You don’t?”
They both look at me. “I haven’t put much thought into it?”
“I guess to me it feels very insular to assume there isn’t other life in outer space,” Neb says. “Why are we so unique? There are millions of galaxies out there, galaxies just like ours.”
“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Naomi says.
I smile. “There could be other life forms having this same conversation in another universe.”
Naomi hands the book back to Neb. “I bet they aren’t risking not getting doughnuts because they’re taking too long in a bookstore.”
He glances at my hands and his smile drops. “You’re not getting anything?”
“It’s fine. Let’s get out of here and go exploring.”
“Doughnuts await!” Naomi shouts, causing several heads to turn our way.
Neb pays and I put my brick of a phone in my bag. It was comforting having it nearby, even in its unconscious state, and I try to ignore the flutter of panic that ripples through me when I let go of it.
The sunlight blinds me when we step outside, and the sounds of traffic and people on the street replace the relative quiet of the bookstore.
“VooDoo!” Naomi shouts with a fist pump to the sky.
“This way,” Neb says. He walks with a confidence I don’t think I’ve ever felt, especially not in a city with a thousand ways to get lost. A thousand ways for things to go wrong.
I do a double take at an SUV that looks a lot like Pax’s, but shake it off. There’s no reason for him to be here. Unless Tara and Ariana convinced him to drive. He may have been a jerk to me but his sister’s got him wrapped around her finger.
I take a deep breath, hoping Neb didn’t notice my momentary panic. “How do you already know where everything is?”
“VooDoo’s east of Powell’s toward the river, which is this way.” He points in the direction we’re walking. “Then we’ll backtrack to the Rose Garden. Assuming you still want to go?”
“Yes, but you didn’t answer my question. And don’t tell me that studying the constellations helps you find your way on city streets.”
He laughs, slipping his hand through mine. “I was actually learning celestial navigation before…” he trails off and I fill in the blanks. Before his dad died. “But in this case, I studied the map before we left.”
“What’s it gonna be?” Naomi asks as we hustle across the street in front of a turning car.
“Mexican Hot Chocolate.” The words come out automatically, and I immediately wish I could reel them back in. I do like chocolate, but that was Pax’s influence. I’ve always preferred lighter flavors. “Scratch that. I want something lemony.”
“Then lemony you shall have,” Neb says. “As for me, if it’s got bacon, I’m there.”
“Ooh, good call,” Naomi says.
When the bright pink building comes into view, Naomi and I squeal. “We made it!” she says, jumping in circles on the sidewalk. There isn’t a line outside, so we might be in and out pretty quickly, except—
“Ugh,” Neb sighs, his hand on the door. The line snakes through the store, wrapping around displays of T-shirts and mugs and pre-packaged boxes of doughnuts. Cinnamon and vanilla fill the air, mixing with the scent of fried dough and a variety of spices I couldn’t begin to tell apart. But I barely register any of that. All I can see are the people crammed shoulder to shoulder, waiting patiently for their turn to order.
“This is gonna take forever,” Naomi whines.
My breath comes in short gasps. Thoughts of the Easy Keasy Lemon Peasy doughnut disintegrate as I focus on staying calm. On not letting Neb see this part of me.
Which only makes it worse.
The people closest to us give us pitying looks, and one guy smiles. “But it’s so worth it.”
I reach for my phone to check the time and come up short. “How much… time… do we have?” Focus on keeping my voice steady.
Naomi locks eyes with me and I give a tiny nod. She’s witnessed—and talked me down from—enough panic attacks to know what this is doing to me.
“Hour and a half,” Neb says.
Naomi tosses her head back and flails her arms at her side. “We don’t have time for both!” She draws out the last word until every person in the shop stares at us. Then she gives me a wink and I want to hug her for drawing the attention away from me.
“Maybe Kit and Theo are still coming here,” Neb says. “They could grab ours.”
“Kit wouldn’t do that,” Naomi says. “It would require him to care about someone other than himself for more than five minutes.”
“But Theo… would.” My skin feels clammy and a trickle of sweat runs down my back. I don’t think I’ll pass out in here, but it’s getting harder to breathe.
The line inches forward. A few people have come in behind us so we’re truly trapped in the middle. My lungs constrict and the edges of my vision go fuzzy.
Naomi pokes Neb’s arm. “Hey Science Boy. Can you calculate how long this will take?”
He stands at his full height and scans the room. “By my estimate, you’ve got roughly one minute per person—maybe two—and thirty-three people ahead of us, so forty minutes at a minimum.”
“We should go,” Naomi says.
“Are you sure?” Getting that out in one breath makes my head swim.
She exhales loudly. “Yes. But let’s go before I change my mind.” She loops her arm through mine and holds me tightly. We squeeze past the people behind us and push through the door. “Goodbye, sweet sweetness!” Naomi yells into the store.
The air outside is hot and humid, and my hands drop to my knees.
“Are you okay?” Neb asks.
“Just got… a head rush.”
Naomi unhooks my water bottle from my bag and pushes it into my hand. “Drink.”
The lukewarm water slides down my throat, loosening the pressure in my chest better than the sticky summer air.
“I swear I don’t understand my brother sometimes,” Naomi paces next to me, once again distracting Neb. “He’s always sucking up to Kit.” She crosses her arms and takes a deep breath. “Theo went with him today because I asked, but I still don’t get it. For a hot minute I thought maybe he had a crush on Kit, but he would’ve told me.”
“Theo’s gay?” Neb asks
. His expression is cautious, or maybe he doesn’t have to pretend to be casual about it and he’s simply curious.
Naomi looks startled. “Bi. But he said you knew.”
“He made a comment but I didn’t… Ahh, so that’s what he meant.”
Her face relaxes. “And he flirts with anyone with a pulse, so I can never tell if he actually likes someone or if he’s just being Theo.”
Neb shrugs. “Kit can be cool when it’s only us. Maybe that’s why Theo goes out of his way with him. But what do I know?”
“You ready, chickadee?” Naomi pushes my ponytail off my neck.
I give her a grateful smile and nod.
We power walk past restaurants and clothing stores, several of which cause Naomi to press her hand against the window longingly, but she never insists we go inside. People crowd the streets, and I focus on our destination and the wide open spaces of the garden. Where people should be spread out and not all trying to look at the same thing.
“I know why I want to see the roses,” I say to her as we wait to cross a street. “But I never realized this was something you’re into.”
She waits until we’re in the intersection to answer. “It’s silly, but the garden has always seemed magical to me. Our parents brought us here a couple times when we were kids and it was like stepping into a fairy tale. I was big into princesses in my formative years and I was sure my Prince Charming was hiding in the roses.”
Picturing a young Naomi searching the roses for her prince, her red hair bouncing behind her, brings a smile to my face. She’s not usually much of a romantic—I own that label in our friendship—and I wonder what else she’s hiding about herself.
“I also spent a lot of time looking for frogs.” She laughs, pressing her hand to her belly. “Theo had me convinced that if I kissed the right one, my prince would appear.”
Neb slips his hand into mine and I get all fluttery inside. Have I found my prince? I want to follow my heart and see where it takes me, but I can’t let go of the fear that it’ll all end in disaster. Again.
Chasing the Sun Page 15