To Love A Friend

by Jana David

Allie

  His joke about me going through his underwear had left me mortified. Mostly because I couldn't say the thought hadn't crossed my mind.

  “Wait here a moment, would you? I'll just go grab something from upstairs.” Darcy abandoned the cutlery on the table and headed up the stairs.

  When he came back, he carried an armful of records. He lifted the one I'd been playing off the turntable and put a different one on.

  I recognised the song as soon as it started playing. It was the song his grandmother had taught us to waltz to.

  Darcy stood up and offered me his hand. “May I have this dance?”

  A little giggle escaped my lips. This was silly. But I was drunk, and I'd always loved dancing with Darcy. So I took his hand and he pulled me towards him. One hand in his, the other resting on his shoulder. It was all too familiar.

  Back in the day we'd both not been particularly thrilled when his grandmother suggested Darcy and I should learn the basics of ballroom dancing. We must have been about fourteen.

  “A good and proper gentleman knows his way around the dance floor”, she used to say. And she basically left us no choice but to get up off the floor and let her explain good posture and rhythm to us.

  Now, years later, the sad notes of this old-time classic made me instantly start swaying along. The song was called 'Que Sera, Sera'. I wasn't quite sure who the singer of this version was, but the woman's voice was full, and raspy on the old record as she was singing of love, life and the uncertainty of it all.

  We danced through the whole song. And when the next one came on, we just kept dancing. Neither of us said a word. Occasionally, Darcy would hum along to certain parts of a song, and I would feel the goosebumps prickle on my skin. I closed my eyes and let myself enjoy the warmth of his body against mine.

  I didn't think about what it meant, whether it was wrong or not to be dancing with him like this. It felt too good.

  I was so lost in the moment, it took a while for me to realise that the constant beeping sound in the background was actually the oven timer.

  I practically leaped out of Darcy's arms.

  “Dinner is ready”, I unnecessarily announced.

  Darcy nodded and followed me into the kitchen. He was closed off again. While we'd been dancing, he'd seemed to relax some. Now, his eyes had storm clouds in them again. There was a wall he was hiding behind. And since he'd made me spill all my trouble earlier, I was now determined to find out about his.

  I opened the oven door and the heavenly smell of food hit me. I desperately needed it. I shouldn't have drunk all that wine on an empty stomach.

  We each piled food onto our plate and sat down at the table. Darcy had even placed a few candles on it, making the whole setup appear ten times more festive.

  While we ate, I made an effort to stick to light-hearted topics of conversation. I was hoping it would loosen some of the tension for both of us.

  It seemed to work. We laughed, drank more wine, made stupid jokes and had an argument over whether a white wine would have been the better choice to go along with the meal (I argued against it, simply because I didn't like white wine).

  After we finished dinner, I put away the dishes, while Darcy wrapped the leftovers and put them in the fridge.

  “Is there any more wine?” I asked, leaning over to peek into the fridge, but Darcy stopped me.

  “I think you've had enough for tonight”, he said.

  I stuck my tongue out at him and wrinkled my nose.

  “Yep, and you are definitely drunk.” Darcy pulled me further away from the fridge and into the living room. Maybe he was right. The room seemed to spin slightly as I held onto him for support.

  “Why don't you sit down for a minute?” He took both my shoulders and pressed me firmly but gently down onto the sofa.

  So while he went back to the kitchen and finished cleaning up, I sat on the sofa and watched him. I had to admit, he looked incredibly handsome all dressed up as he was.

  “What happened to you tonight?” The words simply came out. I knew we had a good thing going, not talking about family problems, but I needed to know.

  I watched as his back stiffened. He was facing away from me, so I couldn't see his face, but I could read his body language, and he was not happy about my question. Good thing I was drunk and didn't care.

  “Tell me,”, I said. “I'm sure it can't be worse than my sad Christmas story.”

  Darcy gave a sarcastic laugh. “You have no idea”, he replied.

  He left the kitchen and walked over to the record player which was still playing in the background. When he turned it off, the silence that followed invaded the room like a dark shadow.