To Love A Friend

by Jana David

Allie

  My phone rang in the middle of the night, and I was up within seconds, thinking it was my mother, or maybe my father telling me she had been admitted to the hospital again.

  It was neither of them.

  “Hello?” I whispered, casting a sidelong glance over at Ian, who was still peacefully sleeping.

  I was greeted by a low, raspy voice, still soft as velvet, despite him being obviously drunk.

  “I love you”, Darcy slurred.

  I closed my eyes for a second. This couldn't be happening.

  “Allie? Allie, are you there? Did you hear me?” His voice was getting louder. I wanted to tell him to stay quiet. I didn't want Ian to wake up.

  “I'm here”, I said.

  “Good.”

  We were both quiet for a second.

  “Darcy, where are you?”

  “Doesn't matter”, he said. But it mattered to me.

  “I love you, Allie. And I want you. I want you so fuckin' bad, it's driving me crazy.”

  Beside me, Ian stirred in his sleep, so I quietly got up and tiptoed out into the hallway.

  “Darcy. Where. Are. You?” I tried to give my voice a firm tone to make him listen and stop his drunken rambling.

  “Don't really know. I was at Rob's. But I left. Was getting too loud in there.”

  “Is someone there with you?” It was below freezing outside, and I knew how alcohol could make a person blissfully unaware of the weather conditions. Also, who the hell was Rob?

  Darcy gave a dismissive sniff. “Of course there is no one here. Nobody likes me. Nobody wants to hang out with someone like me.”

  And then he started singing his own version of 'Only the Lonely'. I was beginning to wonder whether he wasn't just drunk, but had had something to smoke as well.

  “Listen, I'm coming to get you, okay? But you need to tell me where you are. Or at least give me a general idea”, I said.

  He was still singing.

  “Darcy! Listen to me!” I was speaking louder than I probably should have, and that's when I heard a door behind me open.

  “What's going on?”

  It was Sam standing in the doorway, wide awake and with a wary expression on his face.

  I only wondered for a second whether it was smart to involve him in this. Sam had a car, I didn't, and I was really starting to worry about Darcy.

  I covered the phone with my hand. “Darcy is drunk”, I told him. “I'm not sure where he is, but I'm afraid he'll do something stupid if we don't go get him.”

  Sam didn't hesitate for a second. “Come on, I'll drive.” He went back to his room and emerged a moment later with some shoes, a jacket and his keys. I was still in pyjamas, but I didn't want to go back to Ian's room and chance waking him up. Sam tossed me the jacket he was carrying.

  “Put this on. We don't want you to freeze to death.”

  I motioned to him. “What about you?”

  “I'm fine in this.” He pulled the strings of the hoodie he was wearing. “So, where are we going?”

  I was already heading down the stairs. “I'm not entirely sure.” I spoke into the phone again, “Where are you?” I said very slowly, hoping to finally get a useful response out of him.

  “Dunno”, I heard Darcy mumble. “Quit asking me useless questions.” Useless...right...

  “Do you know someone named Rob?”, I turned to Sam instead. He just nodded and opened the door.

  “Who are you talking to?” Darcy asked over the phone. I figured it was best to keep him on the line until we found him. Hopefully talking would keep him busy and out of trouble.

  “Sam”, I said. “We're coming to get you. Just try to stay where you are now, okay? Don't go wandering off.”

  “Is Ian coming, too?” There was an edge to his voice now. One that told me to be careful. “I don't want him to come, Allie. He can't see me like this.”

  “He's not coming”, I told him. “It's just Sam and I, don't worry about it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Stay on the phone with me, alright? We're coming to get you.”

  I only got another grunt in response.

  As we got into the car I asked Sam, “So who is Rob?”

  “The guy who owns the pub down the street”, he just said.

  Rob's establishment was only a two-minute drive from the house, but it took us about twenty minutes to find Darcy. He was sitting on the edge of a park bench, staring off into the distance, the phone on his ear.

  I hung up as Sam pulled up to the curb and was out of the car before he could even shut the motor off.

  “Darcy!”

  He lifted his head, saw me coming and attempted to stand up on two swaying feet. He only managed to stand upright for a few seconds, before he sat back down again.

  “I'm sorry”, he said when I reached him. “I shouldn't have called you.”

  He was only wearing a thin dress shirt, and when I took his hand, it was ice-cold. I took Sam's jacket off and tried to pull it over his shoulders, but he shrugged it off. “I'm not cold.”

  “Darcy, you're five minutes away from hypothermia. Put on the jacket!”

  “No, you keep it. It's cold.”

  Yeah, no kidding, it was cold. I rolled my eyes, ready to shout at him.

  “What the hell, mate?” Sam caught up with us. He took one look at Darcy's sad form on the bench and bent down to help him up. “C'mon, let's get you home.”

  I was glad he'd come along, because alone I would have never been able to get Darcy to move. Even together we struggled to keep him on his feet, basically supporting his full weight on our shoulders.

  When we finally reached the car, we put Darcy in the back, and I slid in next to him.

  “If you feel sick, tell me. Please don't throw up in my car. You make a mess, you clean it up, got it?” Sam said before closing the door behind us.

  “I'm not going to puke”, Darcy mumbled, but he dry-swallowed a few times, as if to test his stomach's holding power.

  “I'll keep a close eye on him”, I told Sam.

  “Just hold his head out the window should he get sick, okay? I'd like to be able to use this car tomorrow without having to spray an entire bottle of air freshener around.”

  “Drive, Sam. I'll deal with Darcy.”

  So we took off. Darcy seemed okay for the time being. His head was resting against the window, and he was staring through the glass, the city lights reflecting in his eyes.

  I began to relax. That was, until Darcy uttered this sentence:

  “I'm going to destroy him.”

  I froze. “Who? Ian?” I asked, slightly horrified.

  But Darcy shook his head. “No, my dad.”

  “What? Why?”

  “Because he's the biggest fucking bastard I've ever seen. And...god, I hate him so much.”

  A sinking feeling was spreading through me. “What happened, Darcy?”

  He didn't answer. It began to dawn on me that something must have happened at his father's tonight. Again.

  “I just fucking hate him. I'm going to do everything he wants me to do, work with him, fucking 'learn the ropes' from him, whatever, and then I'm going to take him down. I don't care what it takes. I'm going to ruin his life the way he ruined ours.”

  He was starting to scare me.

  “You don't mean that”, I said.

  “Yes, I mean that!” Darcy half-shouted.

  “Hey, tone it down back there, will ya?” Sam said, turning around.

  Darcy's glassy eyes focussed on him. “Don't yell at me”, he grumbled. I almost laughed.

  “I'll keep my voice down if you keep yours down”, Sam simply answered, turning his full attention back on the street.

  “So what happened tonight?” I tried again. But Darcy didn't seem to be in the talkative mood any more.

  “Nothing”, he scoffed. “Just leave me alone.”

  That was why I hated dealing with drunk people. They were like children. Their moods could change from happy, to angry, to sa
d in a matter of seconds. And no amount of reasoning would get through to them. I sighed.

  Silence descended on the car and I let it. We could talk about it tomorrow, when Darcy was less drunk and more willing to have a reasonable conversation.

  “I love you. You know that, right?” I turned to face him. My heart stopped beating for a second. “It should've been me. You never should've ended up with Ian. He—“

  “Darcy!” I interrupted him, desperately trying to shut him up. He couldn't say this. Not now. Not ever. What was he thinking?! Right, he was drunk, he wasn't thinking. I noticed Sam looking at us through the rear-view mirror.

  His expression was hard to read, but he was probably able to connect the dots here. Sam wasn't stupid. I would have to talk to him later. For now, Darcy was the most pressing issue.

  My efforts to silence him proved pointless. Shaking his head vigorously, he went on, “No, Allie, I need to say this now. You don't know the full truth.”

  I had no idea what he was talking about, but I had a feeling it was something bad.

  “Ian, he broke our pact. He betrayed me.”

  This just left me even more confused. “What are you talking about?!”

  “The pact, god dammit!”

  “For the last time, quit shouting back there!” Sam pulled into an empty car park in front of a closed video game shop.

  He turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Alright, you two talk, and I'm just going to step outside for a minute. Sound like a good idea?” Sam was mainly focussing on and talking to me, because let's face it, Darcy was too far gone at that point to understand what Sam really meant.

  I nodded, thankful that he was giving us the privacy. Darcy had already said too much tonight. At the same time I felt bad for sending Sam out into the cold.

  “We won't be long”, I promised him.

  “Just make sure he gets all his drunken feelings sorted out now, because you don't need a confrontation tonight, believe me.” Sam gave me one last look over the shoulder before he closed the door behind him, and Darcy and I were alone.

  “Okay, now listen to me”, I said, my voice firm as I grabbed the front of Darcy's shirt and tried to get him to focus on me. “Tell me what 'pact' you were talking about.”

  A poor attempt at a half smile appeared on Darcy's lips. “I can't tell you that. It's a secret.” His expression turned serious. “A big, fat, fucking secret.”

  I was really starting to lose patience with him.

  “Darcy, Shut up! Then tell me, what happened tonight!”

  He looked at me, actually focused on me for once. “Had a lovely dinner with the family.” His voice was dripping sarcasm. “What about you? Did you and Ian have a nice evening, then? Did you cuddle up in bed just like we did last week?”

  Heat spread over my cheeks and I felt myself becoming defensive. “I don't think that's any of your business.”

  He gave a sarcastic laugh. “So when Ian isn't home, I'm good enough as a replacement, keeping the bed warm for him, but as soon as he comes home, you kick me out again. And I'm just supposed to be okay with that?”

  “That's not how it was, and you know it. Nothing happened between us.”

  “Between you and me, or you and Ian?” All of a sudden, he didn't sound so drunk any more. His eyes were clear and alert, focused solely on me.

  “You have to let it go, Darcy. It was a mistake. It didn't mean anything.” I knew these words sounded harsh, but I had to make him understand, it had been a mistake. I should've never let myself get carried away like that.

  “We kissed, Al. You slept in my bed. But if you want to call that a mistake, be my guest.”

  I looked at him, but truly didn't know what to say. Darcy and I could never be together. Ending it now was our only option if we wanted to save not only our friendship, but also the friendship with Ian.

  “Please understand”, I pleaded. I didn't care how desperate I sounded.

  Darcy turned his face away from me, finally breaking eye-contact. “If that's what you want, I can't change your mind, can I?” He laughed a humourless laugh. “Now can we please go home? I fell like shit.”

  By the time Sam got back in the car, Darcy was already asleep. “Sort everything out?” he asked. I didn't know how to answer that. We hadn't 'sorted' anything. I had a feeling our little talk had raised even more questions than had been answered.

  “Listen, it's none of my business, but Darce and Ian are both my friends, so I feel like I need to say a few things.” With a sidelong glance at Darcy, who was happily snoring, his face smashed up against the window, Sam continued, “The way I see it, you're the one who has the power here, to save us all from imminent disaster. Sorry if that sounds like something from a sci-fi movie. I'm not sure what exactly went on between you and Darcy, and I most definitely don't want to know, but it's obvious that he's in love with you. I'm not saying that you're solely responsible. You're not, but I know you care deeply for both of them. So please, do whatever you need to do in order to sort this out, okay?”

  I inwardly cringed. Hearing Sam say it out loud so blatantly made me wonder just how obvious it was that there was something going on between Darcy and I. If Sam knew, what were the chances of Ian suspecting something? Even just the fact that I was thinking and worrying about such a thing was totally messed up.

  “Don't worry, I don't think Ian has caught on to it yet”, Sam said as if reading my thoughts. “But he won't be ignorant forever. And quite frankly, I considered talking to him about it on several occasions.”

  “Please don't. I—“

  “I won't”, Sam cut me off. “I know what it would do to both of them if he found out. And I don't want to be responsible for it. I like you, Allie, I really do, but you're leading him on, and I think you know as well as I do, that nothing good can come out of that.”

  I felt like a school girl caught cheating on a test. “I know”, I simply said, casting a sidelong glance at Darcy. He looked so innocent when he slept.

  We had to wake him up to get him into the house. He was grumpy, swearing at Sam the whole time and refusing to even let me touch him, but eventually we made it inside.

  As soon as the door closed behind us, Darcy went very quiet. I saw the sweat breaking out on his forehead, and he looked very pale. He was going to be sick.

  To his credit, he did make it to the toilet before losing all the contents of his stomach.