Sloth

by L-J Baker

  "Don't even say it." Talia sat straight up and held one hand up in a stop position. "I just don't want to go. Don't read more into it than it is."

  "Talia, I know you. And I know why you're in such a panic. It's been over a year."

  "Almost two. To the day, in fact."

  "Okay, two, and it's time—"

  "If you say to move on, I'm going to punch you in the twat." Talia balled her fists and held her breath.

  "I was going to say, live your life again. You can't stay in this room alone forever."

  "Why not?" Talia grabbed a hoodie from the pile and hugged it to her chest. "I like it here. All my favorite things are here."

  "It's not healthy. Look, I get why you never followed through with the complaint, but dropping out of school, hiding away here, it's letting him win. You're stronger than that."

  "I dropped out because it wasn't for me and I'm not hiding here. I work from home. It's just where I like to be." Talia wasn't about to admit that what happened was the reason she didn't finish her degree, or why she prefers to still live with her brother, or why leaving the house brings her to the border of panic. That would be letting him win.

  "It doesn't matter what excuses you give yourself, Tal, you know the truth." Sasha stood up and walked toward the door. "For what it's worth, I think you should go."

  Before she could argue, Sasha was out of the room. Talia heard her talk to Ethan briefly, then the front door close.

  Talia and Sasha met right after everything happened, in a crisis group of all places. Sasha was dealing with some stuff that happened in her senior year of high school, and doing much better than Talia, who was a complete mess at the time. Not that anyone outside of her group knew that. She put on a brave face and tried to put it behind her. Really, she did.

  She never told her brother or father what happened. She did report it to the school, but nothing was done about it. It was a he-said/she-said sort of thing and he was the school's best hockey player, so what she said didn't hold much weight.

  After being told there was nothing she could do, and a number of threats from him and his teammates, she'd given up on the whole thing. Then she'd given up on finishing school, the part-time job she'd enjoyed before that, and just about all forms of socializing. She even stopped going to the group after a few months. Her only saving grace was the friendship she forged with Sasha.

  After a while, she didn't care anymore. Her new life wasn't so bad. Sure she never had money, and her brother was constantly on her ass about being lazy, but she was okay with it. It was only when Sasha pushed her to go out, to do social things, that it became an issue.

  Now for God only knew what reason, she'd agreed to have dinner with some stranger. Luc did seem like a decent guy, but then they all did at first. She even enjoyed having a drink with him earlier. There was a clear attraction, and something more, something drawing her in to him. That was the part that should be setting off alarm bells. Instead, it was the part that said sure complete stranger, I'll come to your apartment alone and have dinner with you.

  Talia flopped her back down on the bed.

  She actually wanted to see him again. When he'd blurted out the invitation, she immediately said yes. He set off a heat in her middle that spread over her like a wildfire. Those kinds of feelings had been dormant in her for too long. Her brain struggled with the fact that she liked it that way about as much as she wanted to feel that way again. But she couldn't have it both ways. She had to either block it all out and keep going as she'd been, or open the floodgate and risk herself again.

  She didn't like either option.

  After a quick knock at her door, Ethan stuck his head in without waiting for her to answer. "Sasha said you're going out. You need a ride?"

  Talia made a mental note to thank her friend for that, with a slap, in the head.

  "Actually, I was considering canceling." She slid off the bed, onto the floor, bringing half the clothes mountain with her. She wished she could hide under it, rather than have her brother look at her with that pity stare any longer.

  "You sure?" Ethan walked over and pulled the clothes off her head. "It would do you good to get out."

  "I went out last night."

  He held a hand out to help her off the floor and she accepted, though she wasn't sure why.

  "So then you can do it again."

  Ethan knew something went down with her, but they never talked about it. He never pushed for information and she never offered any. It wasn't the kind of relationship they had. Not that he wouldn't have hunted that bastard down and killed him for what he did to her. He likely would have, but that wasn't what Talia wanted for her brother. His life didn't need to be ruined too.

  "I can go with you?" Ethan started picking clothes up off the floor and tossing them on her bed.

  "Yeah, sure. I can bring my brother with me on a date. Sounds like a great time."

  "Sounds better than staying home alone." He stood there, giving her a goofy look, waiting for her to make up her mind. "So, a date, huh?"

  "Fine, whatever, I'll go." She threw her hands in the air and tried to figure out why she agreed at all.

  "Great. Now change, you look like a bum. I'll wait downstairs." He kissed her cheek and ran out before she could change her mind.

  All she could do now was hope for the best.

  ***

  Luc made a conscious decision to break the rules again. Harley would be angry if she found out, but he didn't care. This one time, he would do things his way. With a newfound determination to continue with the game, mostly so Michael couldn't have the satisfaction of knowing he'd taken something so important from him, he wasn't about to leave everything up to chance. He needed an edge.

  The mirror showed him Talia, almost canceling their date, and shed some light on what obstacles he had to look forward to, but he needed more information. He flicked his hand over the reflection and spun time backwards. He needed to go back, to see exactly how damaged this girl might be. It was sort of becoming a pattern with these girls. Harley probably searched for them with that in mind.

  Guilt pricked at his mind. This wasn't the sort of this Luc normally did. It was a total invasion of privacy, the kind of thing he imagined Cupid having no issues with. But Luc wasn't anything like that low hanging fruit of the family tree. He tried to be a better man. But this time, he pushed the guilt away and continued.

  Nearly an hour later, having gone all the way back to a flat-chested Talia in braces, he knew enough to hopefully get through the month with her. He wasn't sure what it was about her that made Harley think they could be soul mates, but he had found her endearing.

  The month wouldn't be as easy as he would have liked, but most things worth having weren't. Luc tried to plan out how he would get Talia to trust him as he made dinner. She looked like a pasta kind of girl, so he hoped that she wouldn't scoff at the meal. If she did, he could take her out, but Luc always found that the best place to get to know someone was right there in his apartment.

  It was quiet, he could pick the music they liked, there were no interruptions, or he hoped there would be none. They could also follow their own timetable,with no worry about holding up a table and keeping someone from making enough money for the night. Even without considering the enormous bed separated only by a set of French doors, it was the best place for a first date.

  The things Talia had been through might make this venue more difficult, though. She was struggling with being alone with him and he understood why. He couldn't let her know that, but he still needed to find a way to put her at ease. Luc considered texting her and suggesting they go out instead, but there were too many uncontrollable variables in a restaurant. At least in his apartment, he knew what to expect.

  Unless Michael decided to make an appearance.

  Even Luc's own home wasn't safe. Michael tried to take everything from him once before. Back then, he'd succeeded. This time, Luc refused to allow the same result. He would keep Talia safe. He had to.
The doorbell rang and he was out of options. One way or another, this was his time to get to know the next girl. The flutter he felt when he opened the door and saw her standing there, was enough to tell him she was worth the effort.

  She just might be the one.

  "I brought wine." She held up the bottle and shrugged. "Then I realized how stupid that was, because you own a bar."

  Luc took the bottle from her and smiled. "I appreciate it nonetheless. Come in and make yourself comfortable."

  Talia cringed just enough to notice, as Luc reached for her coat. She tried to hide the reaction and he pretended not to notice.

  "Nice place." She looked around as she followed him into the kitchen area.

  "Thanks. I hope you like pasta. I wasn't sure what you eat and figured you can't go wrong with pasta."

  "With meatballs?" She settled at the breakfast bar, while Luc went around the other side to finish preparing their meal.

  "Of course and freshly baked bread."

  "You make bread?" She raised one brow and leaned her head down on her hand, propped up at the elbow.

  "Not in ages. I sent for some from my favorite Italian restaurant. The rest I made. I hope that's okay?" Luc dipped a wooden spoon into the sauce pot and offered Talia a taste.

  "Anything homemade is fine with me. I'm used to microwave meals." She leaned in, blew on the spoon a few times, and sucked the sauce off. "Oh, that's good."

  "I'm glad you like it." Luc beamed. "I was afraid maybe you were low-carb, or paleo, or whatever is in these days."

  "Why? Do I look like I need a diet?" Talia scrunched her nose up, revealing two perfectly placed dimples on either side of her mouth. She wasn't super slim, but Luc didn't need her to be. She was beautiful as she was. Her curves and softness, were in all the right places to fit her unique body.

  "Definitely not, but then neither do most women who jump from one diet to the next. I'm a believer in body positivity. I think the human form is beautiful and should be appreciated in all its wondrous variations."

  Talia rolled her eyes. "Sure you do."

  "You think I'm making that up?"

  "I do. Look at you. Your near-perfect body tells me that you put some effort into looking that way, and if you think your own body needs work, then how can you think everyone else is fine as is?"

  "Actually, I don't do anything to look like this. I know, that makes me sound like a douche, but really, I can't win either way here, can I?"

  She wasn't buying it, but it was true. He couldn't exactly tell her he was an angel and all angels had a perfect physique. At least when compared to human standards of beauty.

  "Probably not." She shifted in her seat and glanced around the kitchen. "So do you always cook for women on the first date?"

  "Not always, but it's easier to get to know someone when you don't have to deal with the noise of a restaurant, or the interruptions of people."

  "And it's easier to get them in bed, right?"

  Luc popped open the wine she brought and set it down before pouring them some. "Talia, that's not why I invited you here. At the risk of again sounding like a douche, I can get women in my bed with little effort. I don't need pretenses or excuses. I invited you here to get to know you."

  "Why?"

  Luc poured wine into both glasses and pushed one toward Talia. He waited until she took a sip to answer. "Today, when we were talking, it felt like there was something there, a spark. I know that sounds cliche, but it's true. I've gotten to a point in my life where I need to stop passing up opportunities when they're slapping me in the face."

  "And I'm an opportunity?"

  "Maybe that wasn't the best way to word it. You're someone I'd like to get to know better, someone I think there could be a possibility with. I think we owe it to ourselves to find out if there's something here. Don't you?"

  She took a long gulp off her drink and put the glass down. "I'm not really looking to hook up with anyone right now."

  "Hooking up isn't what I'm looking for." It was something Luc never thought he'd hear himself say out loud. Or even just in his head. Or even think.

  "So what are you looking for?"

  "Connection. Something more than casual sex, or a few meaningless dates. Someone who accepts me, the way I am, and still wants to be with me." Luc drank half the wine in his glass and topped off both glasses. With the way things were going, he was going to need to switch to something harder soon.

  She stayed quiet for a long time. Luc allowed her to process her thoughts and went back to preparing their meal. It wasn't really how he saw the night progressing, but he held out hope. Maybe after she got some food in her, she would feel more like talking. Until then, Luc would suffer through the silence.

  Once he'd plated their food, he carried it over to the table, and motioned for her to join him. Talia brought their wine, the bottle, and the silverware that he's set out.

  "This smells delicious." She took a deep breath in and closed her eyes.

  Luc waited for her to take a taste and give her approval before digging into his own plate.

  "How did you learn to cook?" she asked between bites of food.

  "I guess it's just something I picked up over the years. Do you cook?"

  "Not really. I mean, I know how, but it's just easier to pop something in the microwave."

  "Is it just you?"

  "Just me?"

  "Yes, I mean, do you live alone?" Luc ripped two pieces off the bread and handed one to her.

  "I live with my brother, Ethan." She took the bread and nibbled off one end.

  "Your brother? How's that working out?"

  "He's a pain in the ass. I love him dearly, but he's a bigger nag than our dad."

  "Yeah, I can understand that. I don't live with my brother anymore, but he hangs around a lot. He's okay, but still a pain in the ass."

  "Is that the blond guy who dragged you away?" She took a long sip off her wine and went back to work on the pasta.

  "Yeah, that's Azrael. He's been helping me out with some business stuff."

  "Are your parents like Greek gods or something?" she asked with a mouthful of pasta. "Because it doesn't seem possible to look like you two and still be human."

  Luc coughed and swallowed hard. If only she knew the truth.

  "I guess we're just lucky."

  "Are there more of you? Tell me there's not like six of you out there somewhere." She stopped, fork halfway to her mouth, and waited for him to answer.

  "There might be several more floating around. You should see my sister, Uriel." Not that Luc wanted Uriel anywhere near Talia, but her looks were unreal.

  "I'm noticing an angel theme."

  "Yeah." Luc laughed. "My dad has a sense of humor. And by that, I mean none at all."

  "My dad's a good guy. I think he just never understood me." She finished the last bits of food and pushed her plate away. "My God, that was good."

  "Let's leave him out of this." Luc poured them both some more wine and smiled. "So, why do you think your dad never understood you?"

  "Part cultural, part stubbornness, part because he's a guy."

  "Cultural?"

  "Yeah, dad is a white, republican, gun-owning, businessman. Mom, is a free-spirit, black, liberal, musician. They're nothing alike, which is probably why they didn't stay together. Mom took off a while back to follow her dreams. At least dad stuck around. I gotta give him credit for that, but he wasn't easy to live with."

  "So now you live with your brother."

  "Dad got us an apartment when we went off to college and we just stayed."

  Luc was trying not to steer the conversation in any direction that might upset her, but he was having a hard time. He grabbed the plates and brought them over to the sink, hoping to give himself a few moments to make a better plan. Getting to know her was important, but after cheating with the mirror, he knew enough to know that there were some subjects he shouldn't bring up.

  "Now what?" She popped up behind him, making Luc nea
rly drop one of the plates.

  "What do you mean?" He turned to face her. She was close, too close, especially for someone who was hesitant to even be in his apartment alone with him.

  "We had dinner, we talked, now what?"

  Her body was stiff, tense, as if she was ready for a fight. She'd relaxed during dinner, but Luc could tell that her mistrust was back.

  "Watch a movie? Play a game? Take a walk? It's early, so I was hoping you'd stay a bit longer." Luc watched her face with each suggestion. He fought the urge to peek inside her head and find the right thing to say. He'd cheated with the mirror, but that was crossing a line.

  "Maybe I should go." She turned, but Luc grabbed her arm.

  "Tomorrow then?"

  He didn't want her to leave, but he knew better than to try to push her. He would be patient if that's what she needed. What he really wanted, was to take away the bad things that happened to her, to selectively erase some memories and give her a reset. Being an angel, he had the power to do just that, but Luc would never abuse such a thing. Her life was her life, and it happened how it happened. He had no right to tamper with it without her permission.

  "I don't know. Like I told you, I'm not really looking for anything. This was nice and all, but I don't see a point."

  Luc dropped her arm and sighed. "Friends then? Everyone needs friends."

  She narrowed her eyes and took a step back. "I'm sure you have lots of friends."

  "Not as many as you might think."

  Not many that he could trust, anyway. So, maybe they had a little something in common already. Neither of them were big on trust.

  "Fine. Tomorrow. Come to my place and I'll see how bad you are at video games."

  The last video game Luc played was Pac-man, so that should be interesting.

  "It's a date."

  "It's not a date."

  "A play-date then?" Luc tried to flash her one of his irresistible smiles, but she just blinked a few times.

  "My brother will be home."

  "I can bring mine, if you want to make it teams?"

  "No." She took another step back. "Ethan's not into games."

  She held out a hand, like they were completing a business deal. Luc took it and shook. "Tomorrow then." And with that, she left, leaving Luc standing in the kitchen, wondering what he'd gotten himself into.