Sloth

by L-J Baker

  "I'm the one bleeding," the asshole said.

  The bartender appeared with a towel to sop up his blood.

  "Are you okay?" she asked Talia, who nodded, not ready to actually speak words. "I'm Harley, by the way. We haven't officially met."

  Talia nodded again, feeling a bit lightheaded. Luc walked his cousin away, whispering something with an angry face. Harley stayed with Talia, not saying anything, which she was grateful for. After Luc finished with the bloody guy, he walked back over, and Harley excused herself.

  "Did he do something inappropriate?" Luc reached for her arm, then stopped just before he reached her.

  "I'm really sorry," she said, finally finding her voice. "He said you were related, but then he grabbed me, and I just… I…"

  "Don't apologize. I'm sure that idiot deserved it. And even if he didn't, everyone around here has wanted to do that more than you could realize."

  She looked up and met his eyes. He should be angry with her for assaulting someone in his club. Not just someone, but his family, too. Not even for one second, did he think she was the one at fault. His first reaction was to check if she was all right. Even after he had to know, it was her fault.

  Talia rubbed her hand over the knuckles that connected with Cupid's face. She'd hit him pretty hard. She should have been happy knowing that she was able to react when she felt threatened. It was something she'd wondered about since she basically shut herself away. When it mattered most, she couldn't fight back. She'd wanted to, but her body refused to respond. Since then, she'd convinced herself that would never happen again, but she hadn't known for sure.

  "Let's get you some ice for that." Luc looked down at her hand and frowned, then led her toward the back of the club.

  He didn't speak the whole way up to his apartment. By the time they got there, she was sure he was angry with her. Not that she could blame him, but it was worth it to know she'd stood her ground and fought back. Once inside, he softly closed the door behind her and led her to the kitchen.

  "Pretty good right hook there." Luc smiled, pulling an ice pack out of the freezer and wrapping it in a towel. "You might be able to take up boxing if this gaming thing doesn't work out."

  "I really am sorry about your cousin." She put the ice on her hand and hopped up on a stool. The cold numbed the ache that throbbed in her knuckles.

  "You want to talk about it?" Luc came around and slid onto the seat next to her. His eyes were all warm and wide. It made her want to open up to him, to tell him the whole sorted mess. Instead, she shook her head.

  "I overreacted. Please, tell your cousin I'm sorry. Though he should learn to keep his hands to himself."

  Luc's eyes narrowed and he visibly tensed. "He touched you?"

  "No, I mean, yes. He grabbed my arm, to stop me from walking away, I guess. It wasn't anything bad. I just…" Her voice trailed off.

  It didn't matter if Luc was a good guy, or if she trusted him. Her lips refused to make the words come. She'd only told the whole story twice. Once to the university police officer who took her statement, in front of the dean, and once to the group where she met Sasha. Toby knew the story, because he'd been the one to find her after, but she never had to tell him what happened exactly.

  "I'm sorry about him. He's in some trouble and I'm trying to help him out. He's not normally around." Luc reached out to touch her arm, then stopped just before making contact.

  Talia wanted to feel his hand, warm against her skin. She also didn't want to be touched. It was a good representation of her daily life, the reason she'd started spending so much time alone. She didn't want to be cut off from the world, but how could she engage?

  "Did you finish up with Toby? Or should I go find him so he doesn't think you got kidnapped?"

  "We finished. I was actually looking for you when I ran into your cousin. Is his name really Cupid?"

  What was wrong with this family and their names?

  "Yes, though he likes to think he's cool and have people call him Q." Luc went over to the stove and started a kettle for tea. He got two mugs, tea bags, and a couple spoons. "So, you were looking for me?"

  She almost wished she hadn't admitted that part. Originally, she planned on playing it cool, making him come to her. Then she just blurted out that she'd been looking for him. Typical Talia. So uncool.

  "I figured I'd say hi before I headed out."

  "Sugar or honey?" Luc held up both items and waited for her to point to the honey. "I've been waiting days to see you and you were just going to give me a quick hello?"

  The kettle screeched and he poured the steaming water into both mugs, then dangled a tea bag into each. After the kettle was put away, he pushed the whole lot over so they could reach, then sat back down next to her. Talia tried to ignore his question and went about adding honey to the tea. It was a nice distraction, even if she wasn't normally a tea kind of girl. Coffee and energy drinks were usually her go-to caffeine source. Tea was nice on occasion, but not something she'd make for herself.

  "I'm sure you've managed just fine since Monday."

  "I haven't." Luc spooned some honey into his tea and fought back a smile. "It seemed like forever."

  She elbowed him in the side and tea splashed on the counter. "Liar."

  "It's true. I admit, I've been busy, with my cousin moving in and my sister on an extended visit, plus the business, but honestly, I have been looking forward to seeing you again."

  Talia wasn't sure what to say. They were just supposed to be friends. Then she'd kissed him. Even after explaining that it didn't mean anything, he still looked at her with that smoldering look that made her want to melt into him and feel him from within. There was something about Luc that made Talia want to see if things could go beyond friends, but she wasn't sure she was ready to make that step.

  "How's your hand?" Luc motioned to the swollen knuckles that hid under the ice pack he'd given her.

  "Numb, I guess." She shrugged and put the ice on the counter. They were red and sore, but she would survive.

  "Probably better than Cupid's nose." Luc chuckled. "I just wish I could have seen the look on his face when it happened."

  "You have security cameras. I'm sure it's saved forever."

  "You're right!" Luc's eyes lit up. "You just made my whole year."

  "Glad I could provide you with entertainment." Talia took a sip off the tea and placed the cup down. "Got a beer?"

  It was barely noon and she'd made enough bad decisions, but the tea sucked and she really needed something to take the edge off her nerves. Luc got up without a word, went to the fridge, and returned with two beers in his hands.

  "I'm not usually a day drinker," she said, taking a long pull off the bottle.

  "I am." Luc smiled and watched her take another long sip. "What have you been up to the last couple days?"

  "Working actually. You might have inspired me a little."

  "Me?"

  "Yeah. Talking to you gave me the little push I needed to get off my ass. Just don't tell my brother. He's been trying to motivate me for so long he might snap if I tell him you did it that easily."

  "My lips are sealed."

  Talia's eyes were drawn to his mouth and her thoughts wandered. If she wasn't careful, she'd end up kissing him again. Not that it would be bad to kiss Luc for real. She might have dreamed about doing just that. But she couldn't keep insisting they were only friends, and expect him to respect that, if she kept kissing him.

  "I should go." Talia stood, finished off her beer, and grabbed her bag. "Maybe I'll do more work."

  "Already?"

  She nodded and he frowned. It made her want to kiss him even more.

  "Okay, well what about dinner?"

  "What about it?"

  "We should get some. Together. Tonight." Luc followed behind her as she headed for the door. She had to get out of there quick before her wayward lips went rogue once again.

  "I don't know. I really should work. Once I get started, I tend to get w
rapped up in everything, so I might not even remember."

  "Fine. Tomorrow?" Luc jumped in front of her and blocked the door. He pushed his bottom lip into a pout and she could barely contain her laugh. How could anyone say no to that face?

  "Okay. Tomorrow, but nothing fancy."

  "I'll cook and we can watch a movie. You can come over in pajamas if you like."

  "Hmm. What movie?"

  "You can pick."

  "What will you cook?"

  "Anything you want."

  Talia thought for a long moment. She wasn't a fancy dinner kind of girl. It wasn't that she didn't like good food. It was more that she felt more comfortable at a barbecue than she did at a five star restaurant. Having Luc cook meant that anything they ate, would be relaxed and casual, and this time, being alone in his apartment didn't scare her so much.

  "How about burgers?"

  Luc smiled. "I can do that."

  "And remember," she said, halfway out his door. "This is just two friends hanging out."

  "I wouldn't have it any other way," he called after her.

  ***

  "You're working?" Sasha came in without knocking and flopped down on Talia's bed.

  "Yeah." Talia finished up the level she was on and pushed the headset down around her neck. "What's up? Shouldn't you be at work?" Anyone watching her stream live could still see her, but she didn't care. They were used to her by now.

  "I should."

  Sasha showing up in the middle of the day on a Friday couldn't be a good thing.

  "But?"

  "But I might have gotten fired." Sasha covered her face with her hands.

  "What does that mean? How are you not sure about something like that?" Talia logged off her game and tossed the headset on the floor with her controller. There was only so much her viewers needed to be part of.

  "Well, you remember I was sort of seeing Harvey a little?"

  "What I remember," Talia said, moving to sit next to her friend on the bed. "Was you sneaking around every possible chance with your married boss behind his wife's back."

  "Fine, make it sound dirty."

  "It was dirty. They have six kids." Talia rolled her eyes. "And he fired that Celia chick he was screwing, when he started seeing you."

  "Okay, so it was a little dirty."

  Talia raised her brow. "A little?"

  "That's not the point here."

  "Then what is the point?"

  Talia was sure Sasha was going to tell her that he broke it off, or that she'd had enough and told him it was over. She knew that her friend wasn't naive enough to think he'd leave his wife, so that was out. Something about the look on her face though, told her this was something much bigger.

  "You're not pregnant, are you?"

  "Of course not!" Sasha pushed Talia off the bed and she landed with a thump. "How stupid do you think I am?"

  Did she really expect an answer to that?

  "Uh, hello, married boss, six kids, serial cheater?"

  "Okay, fine, I haven't been making the most sound decisions, but I'm on the pill and I make him wrap that sausage up before it gets anywhere near the fire."

  Talia scrunched her nose up. "You probably don't want to use that analogy to a man. Even I'm smelling grilled sausages now." She got off the floor, sat back where she was, and took one of Sasha's hands. "Now tell me what's going on."

  "His wife came for a surprise visit."

  "Okay. So?"

  Sasha let out a long slow breath. "So, it's his birthday. She comes barreling into the office, two of the kids in tow, holding a massive amount of balloons."

  "If you're waiting for me to guess the rest, you're going to be disappointed."

  "Ugh." Sasha pulled her hand back and turned her face away. "She walked in… while I was giving him his birthday present… alone, in his office." She turned back and stared at Talia until the light went off in her mind and she finally understood.

  "Oh," she said, dragging it out far too long. "You're saying you were giving him a blow job." Talia thought about it a moment longer. "The kids saw that?"

  "I don't even know." Sasha threw her hands in the air before falling back on the bed. "There were so many balloons and he shoved me under the desk right away. Then his wife started screaming, and I don't know, there was just chaos."

  "How the hell did you get out of there?" Talia laid back and clasped Sasha's hand in hers.

  "I didn't for a while. I hid under the desk until the place cleared out for lunch. He followed her out with the kids. By the time I got out of there, they weren't around. I just grabbed my purse and came here."

  "So he didn't technically fire you?" Talia turned toward her friend and pushed some hair off her face.

  "Not officially, but you know he's going to. His wife will insist on it."

  "Assuming she isn't at home right now packing all his shit to toss his ass out on the street. Anyway, he can't legally fire you because his wife found out he's a sleaze. Just ask Ethan."

  "Well what am I gonna do about it? Sue him?" Tears welled in Sasha's eyes.

  "Hell yes. If he tries to tell you you're fired, you just tell him you're not leaving. If he has a problem with that, he can call your lawyer."

  "Ethan isn't a real lawyer yet and I can't afford to hire one, especially if I get fired."

  "Stop it, you're not getting fired. Besides, Ethan might not have passed the bar yet, but Luc is a lawyer. I'm sure he'd help out."

  She wasn't actually sure about that, but she hoped that if she asked nicely, he would agree to help. He did seem like the type of person who wouldn't want some asshole getting away with the shit Sasha's boss did.

  "Are you sleeping with him yet?" One lone tear escaped Sasha's eye and rolled down past her nose, making it look like snot leaking down her face. It was the only thing keeping Talia from wanting to punch her for asking that.

  "I told you we were just friends." Talia reached behind her for a tissue and handed it to Sasha.

  "Yeah, but I didn't think you were serious?" She bunched the tissue up and blew her nose, then wiped her eyes on the back of her sleeve. "Wait, you weren't serious, were you?"

  Even Talia knew that there was just enough denial in there to understand why her friend didn't believe her. Sometimes when she looked at him, she didn't believe it herself. She sat up, wishing they were still firmly focused on Sasha's problems. She didn't want to think about Luc, or the twisted feeling she got deep in her middle whenever he was around. That was complicated and Talia didn't need complicated.

  "Nothing is going on," she said, hoping it would be dropped.

  "Then why do you look so guilty." Sasha sat up and tossed her used tissue into a nearby trash can.

  "I don't."

  There was nothing to feel guilty about.

  Not really.

  "I might have been shoved under a desk today, after having been caught sucking off my boss by his wife and two small children, but I'm not an idiot. Okay, I realize that makes me sound like an idiot, but still. Tell me what's going on."

  "Seriously, there is nothing going on."

  "But you want there to be?"

  Talia wasn't sure how to answer that. Did she want something to be going on? She'd wanted to kiss him again, that much she knew, but a kiss and what Sasha was thinking, were two very different things.

  "No."

  "Was that an actual answer, or a question?"

  "We're just friends," Talia said, getting up to pace the room. "Which was my idea, by the way, in case you forgot."

  "You're allowed to change your mind, ya know?" Sasha walked over and put her hand on Talia's shoulder to stop her from moving. "If you want something more with him, it's okay."

  "I know that."

  "Do you?"

  She did. Mostly. Except when she thought about it.

  "Of course."

  "What if you came back to group?"

  Talia pulled away. She hadn't thought about group in over a year. She didn't even know that Sasha w
as still going.

  "What for?"

  "Support, Tal. You need to start living again, and having people around you who understand, can help that."

  "I have you."

  "It's not enough. You're still hiding in here all the time and not—"

  "Hiding? I'm working with Toby. I went on a couple dates. Now I have a new friend, who is a guy, by the way. I'm not hiding. I even started working more. What the hell do you expect from me, Sash? I'm trying here."

  "I know you are, but I also know you like this guy, and you're friend-zoning him because you're afraid. You were raped, Tal. It happened and it's not your fault, but you can't let it be your whole story."

  Talia was about to tell her to mind her own business, that she didn't even want to hear that word, and that it wasn't her story, when she looked up. Ethan was standing in her doorway, pale and silent. No one moved for a solid minute, then Ethan spun around and ran from her room. Seconds later the front door closed and he was gone.

  "Great." Talia followed, looking down the hallway of the apartment building, but he was gone. "Thanks a lot." She turned toward Sasha and glared.

  "I'm sorry, but he had to have known. He lives with you for fucks sake."

  "Did that look like he knew?"

  Talia always thought Ethan assumed something bad happened to her, but she had no idea what he thought it was. He never asked and she never told. It was their unspoken understanding. It might not have been the healthiest of arrangements, but it was how they were. The dean at her university told her to keep it quiet. He said no one would believe her story since she'd willingly gone with him and was drinking.

  Back then, she just wanted it over, so she stayed quiet. If he wasn't going to be prosecuted, what was the point in saying what happened? So she dropped out and hid away, just like Sasha said.

  He won.

  "I'll go find him." Sasha grabbed her purse and headed toward the door.

  "How are you going to find him?" Talia asked, grabbing Sasha's arm before she could get into the hall.

  "I know where he goes when he's upset."

  "How do you know that?"

  "Because I've seen him there. Stay here and I'll go talk to him."

  Talia let Sasha go, but she wasn't about to wait around until he returned with a million questions and that wounded expression because she'd never told him the truth. She grabbed her wallet and keys, and headed out the door.