by Ellen Joy
She snapped out of her thoughts when someone knocked on the door.
“Just a second!” As she headed back to the party, she noticed the house had a golden glow from all the Christmas lights. A nautical theme blended in with the holiday decor. She slowed by a table with framed photographs of the Williams family. Everyone carried the same photogenic gene, even the dang dog.
Matt walked over with a half grin. “How are you getting home? I could find you a ride.”
“I’ll walk back.” She remembered the way. “It’s only a couple of blocks.”
He looked down at her feet. “But you’re in heels.”
She glanced down at her black shoes, regretting ever drinking that wintery dream David gave her. “I’m from Minnesota.”
“Then you should know better.”
His remark caught her off-guard, and a laugh escaped her. “Touché.”
She spotted Frank and David. They stood behind the kitchen counter with Sarah, absorbed in conversation. A perfect time to sneak out.
She noticed Matt smiling at her. “What?”
He stuffed his free hand in his pocket and took another sip of beer. “I can’t believe you’re standing in my parents’ home after all these years.”
She wondered if he knew the story. How her fiancé had left her. He didn’t let on. “Wasn’t this the part of the barn?”
He pointed above them. “Yup. They moved the kitchen out here and redid everything, but kept the loft.”
Her cheeks flushed as she looked up to a balcony. They had their first kiss up there, among old wooden lobster traps and fishing gear. They had dangled their feet over the wooden edge and looked out at the whole harbor.
“They’ve done a beautiful job.” She checked on David and Frank, who were still distracted. If she wanted to get out of there, she needed to do it now. She’d thank them later. Turning to Matt, she said, “I think I’m going to sneak out now. Thanks for inviting me. It was really nice.”
“Let me grab your coat for you, and I’ll walk you home.”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
“I’m sure you will, Minnesota, but I’d like some fresh air.”
“You’re as bad as David and Frank.”
He led her down the hall to a smaller room in the front of the house. On the sofa, she found her coat and bundled it around her, pulling up the hood. As soon as he opened the door, the cold air rushed inside. They quickly stepped out so as not to let the warm air escape.
“The snowbanks are up to my waist already.” She couldn’t believe how much snow the town already had.
Matt followed behind her on the front walkway. “It’s been a crazy start to winter.”
The noise from the party dulled once they reached the road. Off in the distance, the waves sprayed the rock cliffs and the sporadic clanging of a bell clanged. Through the bare trees and houses, she could see the small town twinkling below.
Their footsteps crunched the packed snow underfoot as they walked. A few minutes passed before Matt broke the silence. “The water glows on nights like tonight.”
“Hmmm.” Her gaze fell on the water. It was true. The light from the waxing moon illuminated the clouds lingering from the storm. The whitecaps appeared fluorescent from their vantage point.
“Do you remember when I took you surfing?” Matt asked.
The image of her head smashing on the edge of the board flashed in her mind. “I’ll never forget it. That’s the first time I got stitches.”
Matt laughed.
Her fingertips traced the scar on her forehead. “I believe you’re the one who almost fainted.”
He made a face. “There was so much blood!”
The image of Matt sitting on the beach as she used his towel for her head flashed through her mind. Once he recovered, though, he was her knight in shining armor. He took her to the emergency room, held her hand while the doctor stitched her up, and gave her a bouquet of wildflowers the next day. It was one of the most romantic gestures she had ever received.
As they approached her aunt’s street the sidewalk hadn’t been cleared, and Kate did her best to step over the embankment, but her heel slipped on a patch of ice and her leg swung out in front of her. Just as she slipped, Matt grabbed her elbow and swept his arm around her waist, steadying her on her feet.
“Thank you,” she said.
He took a second to look into her eyes before he said, “You’re welcome.”
He slowed down as she walked up the steps to the front door, staying on the sidewalk.
“It was nice seeing you.”
“You, too.” He stuffed his hands into his coat pockets. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” She gave a little wave and unlocked the door. Before stepping inside, she glanced back at Matt. He waved and watched her until she stepped inside.
Immediately, she rushed to the kitchen and reached for her phone, charging on the counter. She hesitated before she picked it up. Even as hard as it had been to pretend at the party, she was thankful that she had gone. Frank and David were right. There were a few brief moments where she wasn’t obsessing about everything falling apart around her.
She stared at her phone’s black screen, afraid to wake it up and be confronted by the truth. Had anything changed, or would the pain wash over her again? Her thumb pressed the home button and she scanned the names listed on the screen—texts from her family and friends. She didn’t bother to read any of them. None of them were from Eric.
Without second guessing herself, she typed a message. Merry Christmas. It would be enough for him to know that she was reaching out. It was up to him from this point.
She pulled open the sliding door and started counting the waves, but Eric continued to sneak into her thoughts. What was he doing? Where was he? Who was he with before midnight on Christmas Eve?
Kate took off her dress and put on her pajamas, then started a fire. When it was crackling, she opened the windows. The tangy scent of salt permeated the room. She listened as the ocean waves crashed against the rocky shore.
She sat, twisting her ring around her finger, and studied it one last time. She eased it over her knuckle and pulled it off, placing it on the floor in front of her. Eric always had a great sense of style. Designer clothes, classic cars and diamond rings. It was beautiful. A round-cut stone set in a vintage French halo. She often stared at its beauty, not believing it was hers.
She first met Eric at the diner in downtown Minneapolis. She was sitting alone in a booth reading a book on her lunch break, when he slid across from her and introduced himself. He rambled on for over a minute, telling all about how he had attended business school in the east, started working at a bank in Minneapolis, but hoped to return to the suburbs of Chicago. She didn’t say a word until he stopped to take a breath, and said to him, “I’m not Becky.”
Kate laughed as his face dropped, clearly embarrassed. But even though his face reddened, he exuded confidence.
She immediately fell for him.
Since Eric had the same ambition in business as she had in design, she wasn’t in a rush to get married. As she worked her way up as a graphic designer, he worked his way up in the bank.
And make her way she did. The small start-up she worked at suddenly had over a dozen employees, with Kate being officially vice president of design. It was everything she had worked for, but she secretly hated it. She no longer designed, she managed other designers. She loved her boss, Rodney, and the people she worked with, but she didn’t like being middle management. The only reason she stayed was because with the new house and the wedding, she couldn’t afford to think about switching to a new job, earning less. She thought getting married and having a home with Eric was all she needed.
There was only one time other than with Eric, that she’d been in love. Before her parent’s divorce, when she believed life was full of possibilities and happily-ever-afters. The summer with Matt.
She had always known about Matt, the local boy from town.
She and her sister Jen would walk from Vivi’s house and cross the footbridge to the village. They’d buy an ice cream, or stop at the candy store. Matt was always on the periphery, hanging around Camden Cove.
But it wasn’t until the summer, when she turned thirteen that she fell for the cute local boy. As she sifted through the sand to collect sea glass, he walked up to her, pushing his bike. He peeked inside her plastic bag and saw her meager findings.
“You need to go to Perkin’s Beach.” He pointed toward the coastal trail.
She stood, covering her eyes as she looked down the trail. Her hair blew in her face. She had never gone that far away from her aunt’s house.
“I could show you,” he said, throwing his leg over the bike. He pointed to his handlebars. “You want a ride?”
She didn’t move at first, not sure if she should go with him or not, but she wanted the colorful gems. The thrill of this cute boy offering her a ride to a beach overcame any doubts she had about not telling her aunt where she was going. She’d face the consequences later. She lifted herself up on the handlebars.
He rode her all the way down to the end of the trail and into a different neighborhood. Houses stood against the shoreline, nestled within tall bushes. The scent of beach roses perfumed the air. He pointed to a tall wooden structure with sticks hanging off its sides. “That’s an osprey nest.” Above them, a large bird circled the nest with a fish dangling out of its mouth.
He continued to pedal down the narrow streets lined with weathered cottages. Flowers in window boxes blew in the wind as they rode by, bouncing over every pebble and patch of sand. At the end of the road, he slowed down and she jumped off.
“That’s Perkin’s Beach.” He pointed to an inlet full of sand and shells. They were the only ones there, except a pair of seagulls picking at the ground.
She turned to him in surprise. “How come nobody’s here?”
He dropped his bike in the tall sea grass, toasted from the sun, and started toward the water. “No one knows about this place, because the locals don’t tell the tourists about it.”
She loved the idea that he thought her worthy to share the village’s secret beach. It looked as though it hadn’t been touched for years. Large branches of driftwood were anchored on the shore. Shells and rocks had been washed up by the waves. Blackened seaweed, burnt from the summer’s rays, covered the sand.
She followed him over a small footpath. As soon as she stepped onto the sand, she saw her first piece of glass. It was a frosted blue and the shape of a triangle. It fit inside the palm of her hand. Its rippled edge was dull from the ocean’s tumbling.
“Look for light reflecting off the glass.” He bent down, turned his head to the side and pointed ahead of them at a round, clear, circle poking out of the sand. They both ran toward it and dug it out. The round glass bottle was rough. “My whole life, I’ve never found a bottle washed up before. You must be lucky.”
She held the glass treasure in her hands and studied the pores in the glass. “Not until I met you.”
They spent the remainder of the day hunting. When they climbed up the rocks and down into their crevices, he’d hold out his hand to help guide her. By the time she needed to head back, they had found a full bag’s worth. She didn’t want the treasure hunt to end.
When he dropped her off at the public beach, she watched him ride away. That was the first time she had fallen for someone, and for three summers afterwards, she kept a look out for the Maine boy. Hoping he’d be where she and her friends were, praying he’d show up, and disappointed when it didn’t happen. It wasn’t until the summer when she turned sixteen that he once more showed up in her life.
Her sister had graduated high school and got a job to save up for college. Her mother found full-time work. The day she dropped Kate off at the airport, she wore a dress suit she had bought at Talbots and plain black high heels. She kissed Kate on the cheek and told her to help wash the dishes. She had a whole summer with just her aunt. The beach. And Matt.
It was the best summer of her life.
And then the worst.
Once she returned home, everything had changed. Her dad had moved out, her sister left for college, and her mother fell apart.
As an adult, she had been so careful with her emotions. Her mother complained that her father was a dreamer. She warned Kate to fall in love with someone stable. Eric was the very definition, and she couldn’t even hold onto him.
She picked up her engagement ring and rolled the band between her finger and thumb. She couldn’t keep wearing it. He hadn’t reached out. She couldn’t pretend with her family anymore that everything was alright, because everything wasn’t alright.
The bells from the congregational church rang out, signaling midnight. Christmas morning had arrived.
She dialed her sister. Back home it was eleven, but Jen would still be up getting ready for Christmas morning.
“Hey, what’s up?” her sister mumbled into the receiver.
“He left me, Jen. Eric left me.”
Five
Kate woke to the sound of the doorbell. Vivi’s bedside clock read five minutes past eight. She pressed the home button on her phone to make sure it was correct. Who was here?
Eric.
She flung the covers off, ignored the pounding in her head and rushed to the front door. He got a flight. She would have her Christmas after all. He still loved her.
She swung open the door and Matt stood there, wearing a Santa hat and holding a snowboard. “Merry Christmas.”
She rubbed her eyes, not believing what she saw. He wore snow pants, boots and gloves. The cold swept into the house, and even in her flannel pajamas, she shivered from behind the door. What was he doing here?
As if he read her thoughts, he said, “It’ll be crowded today, so we should get up there when it opens.” He checked his watch. “It takes about an hour.”
“What?”
“I’m taking you snowboarding.”
“Did we make plans?” She may have forgotten a few minor details from the party, but she’d remember making plans to go snowboarding.
“You mentioned you wanted to go, so I’m taking you.”
“But it’s Christmas.”
“And it’s one of the busiest days of the year. We should leave soon if we want a parking spot.”
“Seriously? Whose snowboard is that?”
He looked at the snowboard, then back to her. “It’s my sister’s.”
“What?” Kate couldn’t believe what was happening. “I can’t take your sister’s snowboard.”
“Sure you can.” Matt held up a white bag with a red bow. “My uncle made some pastries.”
“Don’t you have plans with your family?” She tried to wrap her head around what was happening. Was Matt really standing on her doorstep on Christmas morning?
He shrugged. “I’ve been meaning to go, but never had a good excuse. Come on. I have a helmet and everything.”
What was with that family and their powers of persuasion? Once again, she felt helpless. She stood there, speechless, and glanced down at her phone. No new messages had appeared since she checked the last time. Even after reaching out to Eric last night, he hadn’t replied. He hadn’t changed his mind. They were really over.
“I don’t think—”
“David made almond and cheese brioches.” Matt shook the bag.
A warm, nutty aroma drifted through the paper bag, triggering her appetite. Her stomach growled. Everything in her body told her to snag those brioches and crawl back in bed, hide under the covers and escape from the world. Snowboarding was the last thing she wanted to do, but as he held his sister’s board with that smile of his, it suddenly seemed a lot better than crying all day.
“How long do I have to get ready?”
The right corner of Matt’s mouth perked up. “If we leave soon, we can get there when it opens. I have a large coffee and a breakfast sandwich waiting for you in the truck.”
“David
made sandwiches, too?”
He shook his head. “No, I did.”
He handed over the white bag. “You can eat these while you’re getting ready.”
She thought of the ski stuff still inside her suitcase. “I’ll be as quick as I can.”
He picked up the snowboard and tucked it under his arm. “I’ll wait in the truck.”
She leaned against the door, not believing what was happening. She rummaged through her suitcase, throwing clothes along the couch, stripping out of her pajamas as quickly as possible. She was going snowboarding, in Maine, on Christmas Day... with Matt Williams.
The first boy to ever break her heart. Or was it she who broke her own heart? She wasn’t quite sure at this point. If she had hurt him, he was clearly over it. If anything, he felt sorry for her. His uncles had surely told her story by now.
As she pulled her wool sweater out, she noticed her journal stuffed at the bottom of her suitcase. Inside those pages was the detailed itinerary she created for the trip. She had made a plan for each day. She ripped the first few pages out, crumpled them into a ball, and threw them into the fireplace. Then, on a clean page, she began a new list. She wrote snowboard on top.
Check.
After three layers and a brush of the teeth, she slammed the front door behind her and jogged out to the truck. He passed her a warm package when she got inside, and backed out of the driveway as she bit into the sandwich.
“Are there hash browns in this?” she mumbled to him with her mouth full.
“My uncles aren’t the only geniuses with breakfast foods.”
She moaned with her second bite. It was exactly what she wanted. He passed over a large steaming travel mug.
“We’ll be there in about an hour.” He shifted the gearshift into drive, still wearing the Santa hat.
She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She felt like a teenager again.
He pulled out a CD and inserted it into the stereo. It took a second to recognize the song. She could see him peeking at her as the music played, holding back a smile. “Is this my mixed CD?”