by Ellen Joy
He nodded and sipped his coffee. “I have to say, I had forgotten how bad your music preferences were.”
She laughed, cringing at the playlist. “I can’t believe you still have it.” She picked up the case sitting in the console. She recognized her teenage writing on the back, signed with a pink heart and her old nickname, Katie. “You’re the only person who still calls me that.”
“I like Katie for you.” He drove the truck down into the center of town and stopped at the only light. “My sister found it in my old room, and hung on to it to give me a hard time.” He tapped the wheel with his thumb. “After she saw you last night, she pulled it out. I still get teased about you, after all this time.”
She hid her smile by looking out the window. “My aunt does the same. She always brings you up.” She noticed his bare ring finger and said, “I thought you’d be married by now.”
“I was.” He drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel as the music played. “I got divorced.”
And there’s that good ol’ foot in the mouth, she thought to herself. She regretted saying anything. She assumed that since he hadn’t mentioned a wife, he wasn’t married. She didn’t think it would be because he had got divorced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s not tragic, just wasn’t meant to be.”
She snuck a glance. His eyes were on the road. She couldn’t tell if she’d hit a nerve or not. He didn’t add any more, and it wasn’t any of her business. She wouldn’t get personal again.
“Will I get killed out there today?”
It was a valid question.
His smile returned, and she instantly felt better. “Probably.”
For the rest of the ride, their conversation remained neutral. He asked about her work, she told him about living in the Twin Cities. She avoided mentioning anything about Eric, and he didn’t ask. Mostly they talked about fishing. The idea of living off the water, fighting the elements to catch lobsters, fascinated her.
“Do you wear the skipper outfit?”
Matt’s face twisted in disgust. “First of all, no respectable fisherman calls it an outfit, and second, they’re called Grundens. So yeah... I wear the skipper outfit.”
She laughed. “I always pictured the guy on the frozen fish sticks box when thinking about lobstermen.”
“You imagined that I looked like Gorton’s Fisherman? He’s wicked old.” He shook his head. “Aren’t you all fishermen in Minnesota, it being the land of ten thousand lakes?”
She liked his sarcastic tone. “It’s more like 13,000, but no, I’ve never fished.”
“You’ve never fished? Ever?”
“I grew up with a sister, and my dad never took me.”
“Have you been on a boat?”
“Nope.”
“All those summers in Camden Cove, and you’ve never been on a boat?”
“Nope.”
“That’ll have to change.”
She couldn’t hold back her smile. The thought of being at the helm of a ship sailing into the ocean’s waves with the whole world before her, seemed to be exactly what she needed. Out in the middle of the ocean, away from everything.
When he pulled into the parking lot, attendants directed each vehicle around the snow-covered ground. She leaned forward and looked up to the top of the mountain. “How high is the beginner’s area?”
“It’s not too bad.” He parked and then glanced up at the slopes. He pointed to a hill in front of them. Groups of children gathered at the base. It made Afton Alps’ black diamonds look like bunny hills.
He opened his door and jumped out. He walked to the back to grab the equipment as she pushed herself out of the truck. The snow blinded her, and she lifted her hand to block the sun. Each slope was narrow and vertical. Some peaks couldn’t be seen.
She was going to die.
He tossed her a helmet and pulled out the two snowboards. “You ready?”
“Nope.” She gulped as she fastened her chin strap.
He slammed the lift gate, picked up the boards and headed towards the lodge. “There’s no chickening out, Minnesota.”
KATE STOOD ON THE SNOWBOARD as Matt held her up. She clung to his gloved hands as she shimmied her body to the edge of the hill. His own board sat on the racks at the bottom. After her first attempt at getting off the carpet lift failed, he stayed on foot.
“Please don’t let go until I’m ready.” She looked out beyond him down the hill. People were scattered around the beginner’s area like ants at a picnic. Poor innocent targets, if she couldn’t stop.
“You’re going to be fine.” He stepped back to give her more room to steer. “You just have to go for it.”
She blew out a heavy breath and released her grip. She crouched, bending her knees as she pushed away. “Okay, here goes nothing.”
At first, Matt ran beside her, but soon, she gained unwanted momentum and he faded away as small children came dangerously close to her. Before she knew it, the snowboard sped down the hill like Clark Griswold’s greased steel sled.
“Use your edges!” he shouted out after her, running to catch up.
She whipped her snowboard around, her hips perpendicular to the slope, but the motion cut the front edge of the board, and she plunged to the ground. Her body bounced twice against the packed snow before coming to a sliding stop. Ice scraped against her face.
She didn’t move at first. The wind had been knocked out of her, and she struggled before she could take a breath. Slowly, she moved each body part to make sure there was nothing broken. She pushed herself up onto her knees as Matt ran toward her, a look of horror streaked across his face. That’s when she noticed the blood in the snow.
He fell on his knees next to her. “Oh, crap.”
“What?” She felt a sudden pounding between her eyes. She pulled off her glove and immediately examined her nose by pinching the bridge between her fingers. “Ouch! Do you think it’s broken?”
His face scrunched up as he pulled out a cloth he kept for wiping his goggles and handed it to her. She bunched it underneath her nose.
“You hit the ground pretty hard. We should bring you to the first aid office.”
She kept the cloth under her nose as he helped take off her bindings and lifted her up on her feet.
“Anything else hurt?” The poor guy’s face twisted and creased as he looked at her. It said it all. He was worried she’d have another meltdown.
There she was, dumped figuratively and literally, and it all happened in front of him... again. Suddenly, a laugh escaped and made her snort. Which hurt, but it made her laugh more, and Matt appeared even more frightened. She couldn’t stop laughing.
“Are you going to be alright?”
“Do you think it’s too early for a drink?”
A small grin appeared. “You definitely earned it.”
Matt grabbed her board and stood. He held out his hand and pulled her up. She checked the cloth to see if the bleeding continued, but it looked like it had already stopped. As they walked down the mountain to the first aid station, he held his arm out, and she gladly took hold.
After her examination, even though it had swelled up to twice its normal size, the kind woman determined she didn’t have any broken bones, just a big bump on the head. The swelling didn’t stop at her nose, but continued around her eyes, and with three different shades of pink.
Matt put his arm around her shoulder once they left and steered her toward the lodge. “I think this calls for a Bloody Mary.”
A COUPLE OF BURGERS and a Bloody Mary later, Katie’s face had swelled up even more, as Matt predicted.
“My face and butt hurt.”
“At least you know how to stop,” Matt teased. “Once you get your edges down, you’ll be sailing down the mountain.”
“I think I’d rather watch from the lodge.” She spun her glass in both hands. “I’m glad I tried, though. It was fun.”
It pleased him that she hadn’t checked her phone throughout th
e whole lunch. On the drive up, she had peeked at it continuously. Was she enjoying his company?
“If you have no other plans tonight, my mom makes an incredible Christmas dinner with all the fixings.” He didn’t want the day with her to end.
“Didn’t your mom just throw a huge party last night?” she asked.
Matt leaned back in his chair. “Believe me, she’d have it no other way.”
She contemplated for a while, giving him hope, but then shook her head. “Thanks, but I’d like to stay in, tonight.” Katie glanced out the windows that faced the slopes. “I’m exhausted.”
He decided not to push, wondering what the fiancé was thinking. How could he leave her alone on Christmas? He excused himself to the bathroom, but snuck his credit card to the bartender to cover the bill. On his return, he saw that Katie had left a tip.
“You didn’t have to pay,” she said.
“It was the least I could do. After all, I’m the one who forced you to go snowboarding.”
“You didn’t force me. I accepted your invitation.”
He stared into her hazel eyes for a second too long before she looked away. She played with her coaster, and he worried that he had made her uncomfortable.
It was hard not to look at her. Even with a swollen nose, she reminded him of the good old days, when he didn’t have a worry in the world other than getting on the water. He wished he could go back and change things, fight harder for the things he loved.
“You ready?” she asked, getting out of her seat, breaking the spell.
He followed her out of the lodge to where she’d stopped, looking up. Thick, heavy snowflakes cascaded from the sky and landed softly on her eyelashes. The snow twirled around her as she stood there. A strong urge to pull her into his arms came over him. The feeling was fleeting, but caught him off guard. Was it the damsel in distress, or the reminiscing that was getting to him?
He continued to remind himself how clearly unavailable she was on the drive back, but the closer he got to Camden Cove, the more he dreaded dropping her off and going their separate ways. What was it about her that was making him react this way?
Lavender.
She smelled of vanilla and lavender.
“How long are you staying around?” he asked, as he pulled into her aunt’s driveway, stalling.
“I don’t know.” She sighed. “I have no plans.”
“Then come tonight.” He tried again, but he could tell by the way she scrunched her face that she wasn’t interested. He resorted to begging. “Come. Before another decade and a half, passes.”
Katie bit her bottom lip. “How about a boat ride instead?”
“Now?”
She laughed, then shook her head. “During the day.”
“You do realize it’s winter, right? Not really the best boating season.”
“Will you take me out to catch some lobsters?” A smile grew on her face.
He waited to answer as a buzzing feeling swept over him. “Only if you wear a skipper outfit.”
She laughed harder this time, her head tilted back. It was like an old song. Memories of the old days flooded his head. “How about tomorrow?”
“That sounds perfect.”
He popped his door open and jumped out. He tried to make it to the other side before she opened hers, but she had already hopped out of the truck.
“I’ll pick you up at nine.”
As he walked her to the front door, she remarked about the driveway being plowed. He didn’t tell her he had arranged for the guys to do it, even had the van cleaned off.
The closer they got to the door, the stronger the urge to get close to her became.
“So, tomorrow?” She turned the door handle and pushed it open.
“Dress warm.”
She gave a quick wave as she stepped inside.
He walked away as coolly as possible, but floored it to his apartment the second he got in the truck. He was late for Christmas dinner. His mom was going to kill him.
Six
“So, you made it,” his younger sister Lauren razzed him as soon as he shut the door. She sat on the couch and didn’t look up, her thumbs typing away on her phone.
“I’m not that late.” He checked the clock. Only an hour. He looked around the room. His father was sitting in his recliner, Jack in the kitchen. “Adam and Elizabeth aren’t even here.”
“We told them to come a little bit later.” Jack handed him a beer. “We figured you’d be late, after carving the trails.”
“Ha, ha.” Matt twisted the cap off. “Speaking of which, where’s your ball and chain?”
Jack rolled his eyes. “In the kitchen.”
Matt looked in the kitchen and saw Rachael walking out of the pantry with his mom, the two of them fixing something together. Their relationship was natural and easy. Justine and Sarah were like oil and water. Never easy.
“Well, you decided to show up.” Sarah didn’t waste any time.
“I think it was very nice of you to take her snowboarding today,” Rachael said, while laying napkins on the table.
“Yes, it was.” Sarah nodded. “She must be devastated. Apparently, her fiancé hasn’t called her since the whole thing happened.”
“She was supposed to have a guy with her?” John asked from his chair.
“Seriously?” Lauren looked up from her phone. “Mom’s been talking about this all day.”
John just shrugged and returned to reading the paper.
Matt hated thinking about his reaction in the snowstorm. She came to Camden Cove alone. All alone. He looked out the window toward Vivi’s house. He wanted to head over there and make sure she didn’t spend Christmas evening alone, as well, but he decided against it. Tomorrow, he’d take her out on the water and do whatever it took to get her mind off the guy who was crazy enough to let her go.
Sarah shook her head. “Frank said she had no idea it was coming.”
“Mom, stop,” Matt said, as a sudden urge to protect her privacy came over him.
She put her hand on her chest and shook her head. “I just feel terrible for her.”
“It’s none of our business what happened.” He knew how much the women loved a good story, but it didn’t feel right, letting them talk about Katie.
Sarah looked to Rachael, then to Lauren.
The door swung open and his sister walked in with Lucy. Her husband Adam came in behind them with presents in his arms. Matt got up to help.
“Did you hear about Tyler?” Jack asked from the couch.
Matt had noticed that his cousin had called while he was out with Katie, but he figured he was calling for the holidays. “No, what?”
“Some of his traps were cut, too,” Jack said. “Out by Taylor’s Falls.”
Two days of tampering with cages, two different families. This was no longer a joke. “Do they know who’s doing this?”
Jack shook his head. “You should be careful.” He leaned closer to Matt. “I heard Freddy’s buddy O’Malley is back in town.”
There were no laws protecting Maine’s long history of territory rights, but the Atlantic fishermen almost always abided by unwritten rules like law. Families passed down territories from father to son.
Before he could say anything else on the matter, Lucy ran up and squeezed him into a big hug, squealing in delight.
“I thought the lady in the pretty dress was going to be here,” Lucy said. “Is she your girlfriend?”
He noticed that the women in the room all became quiet. “No, she’s not my girlfriend.”
Jack turned to hang up the coats, then started in just as Matt predicted. “So you just take random women snowboarding?”
Matt looked at his mother as she hugged Lucy, ignoring him.
“You totally still have a thing for her,” Elizabeth teased. “You were practically drooling last night.”
He rolled his eyes. “I was not.”
He hoped he hadn’t been. Did Katie think that, too?
�
�He asked me to give back a mixed CD she made for him!” Lauren hooted from the couch. The women erupted into laughter.
“Last night, you two looked like you were having fun,” Elizabeth continued tormenting him.
He didn’t engage in any of the banter. It was all true, of course, but Matt wasn’t going to admit it.
KATE SAT IN FRONT OF the fire with the lights out. Her phone lay face down on the floor in front of her, her journal next to it. She took another deep breath and held it in as she stared at the pulsating coals. Her thoughts swirled out of control once again.
Off in the distance, the ocean’s symphony played its familiar tune. The night had not been as hard as expected. With the driveway and van cleaned off, it prompted her to take a long drive, winding along Route 1, playing sad love songs as she passed through the small seaside villages. When she made her way back home, she found leftovers from the night before with David and Frank, along with more chocolate truffles, in the fridge.
As she sat in front of the fire, she opened the leather cover of her journal and wrote lobstering. She immediately crossed it out. She didn’t want to jinx herself. Planning didn’t seem to work out that well for her.
And just like that, Eric popped into her head. Things she didn’t allow herself to see before, that were now as clear as day. Problems she either denied, or chose to ignore. Not that it mattered now, she supposed, but her heart didn’t seem to want to admit it. She still held out hope that they could be fixed, just as soon as he reached out to her. How long was she willing to wait?
The what-ifs took over. What if she hadn’t pushed the dream wedding so much? What if they waited to buy a house? What if she paid attention to the signs?
A while back, a drive and an old love song used to help get her mind off her pain, but now her pain just remained there. Anchored.
Seven
Every excuse popped into her head as to why she should stay in bed. It was dark out, for one. It was also cold and slippery, with the snow. Her swollen nose throbbed, and she couldn’t breathe through it. She was alone.