by Ellen Joy
She twirled her drink.
“You know you’re going to have to help me haul out those pots,” he said. Leaning a bit closer, his hand almost touched hers as it toyed with her coaster.
Her smile became a smirk. She continued to spin her pint glass on the table. “We did dump a few pots out there.”
Matt continued playfully, “Unless you’re taking off.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment, and Matt cringed. Why did he have to say that?
“I’m not leaving for a few more days.” Katie straightened up in her seat as if she had just decided. “I’ll help, but only if you promise to make that lobster dinner with me.”
“Deal.” Matt immediately smiled. He held out his hand and they shook. The warmth from her skin radiated up his whole body. He held on longer than he should have, but she didn’t let go. Their eyes locked.
“Can I get you two anything else?” the server set a bowl of popcorn in front of them.
Katie’s hand slipped out from his, and she looked away.
Maybe it was the drink, but he felt as though something had happened between them. Something he couldn’t explain, but nevertheless, he felt it.
BY THE TIME THEY LEFT the pub, the streets of Boston were covered in a layer of snow. There were no cars, no people, or any sounds other than their steps crunching as they walked toward the hotel. They stepped into the lobby, and the shiny marble floors squeaked as they walked across them in their snowy boots.
She followed Matt up to the counter as a woman smiled at them. “How can I help you?”
“We’re here to check in.” Matt brushed off some of the snow on his jacket. “It’s under Matt Williams.”
“Good evening, Mr. Williams.” She gathered a folder, stuffing two key cards into the pockets without even looking. “You will be in rooms 319 and 321, which have an adjoining door.”
“Thank you.” Matt took the folder.
As they stood by the elevator, dripping snow, Kate closed her eyes as a strong urge to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss him. When she opened her eyes, she saw him staring at her with that smile of his.
There was no doubt his look meant something, but was she ready for something? Was she ready to get her heart broken again? Because the timing couldn’t be worse. His divorce, her break-up, and not to mention the seven states in between them.
But he was Matt.
Her Matt.
He was worth a broken heart. She faced him, about to swing her arms around his neck and kiss him, when the elevator doors opened. Another couple stood inside. Matt gestured toward the door, but she could feel the heat coming off him. She took in a deep breath as she stepped inside, gathering herself. Did he feel it, too? As they stood side by side in silence, she swore he could hear the pounding of her heart when his body touched hers.
When the elevator reached the third floor, they soon found themselves standing outside their rooms.
“I had a really nice time tonight,” she said.
Matt handed her a key card. “Me, too.”
Stalling, she toyed with it, wanting to be the Katie from back in the day, carefree and open-hearted. And just as her inhibitions loosened, they reined her right back in to her rational-Kate self. How would any of this work?
“Well, I should get some sleep.” The words rushed out faster than she had meant, which made him stand up straighter.
Her shoulders fell when he backed away toward his door, immediately regretting everything about her behavior. “Matt, I’m–”
“We should probably head back to Camden Cove in the morning, to bring back the van. I’ll probably grab breakfast downstairs.” He unlocked his door. “You should join me.”
The words she wanted to say were on the tip of her tongue. Stop. Don’t go. Come back. But she didn’t say them. Instead, she said, “Good night.”
He smiled. “Good night, Katie.”
MATT TOOK A COLD SHOWER that night, then stared at the ceiling, wishing he had just taken a chance. Maybe she’d have slapped him, but maybe he wasn’t wrong. Maybe he was right about everything. That Katie felt it, too. That they were good together. He should’ve just gone for it.
Jack would definitely call him a chicken.
He could hardly call it sleep, but by the time he heard movement in Katie’s room, he was showered and dressed. He had been watching the sun rise above Boston’s harbor, thinking of his own little harbor up north, glad he hadn’t made a move. Katie had a whole other life away from Camden Cove. She was a vacation girl, and always would be. Beauty and the lobsterman? Nope, this was a brief interlude in her real life, nothing else.
He stood up, wondering if he should tap on the connecting doors, when he heard a soft knock. He swung the door open and there, on the other side, Katie stood looking absolutely amazing.
“Were you just standing there?” she laughed at his immediacy.
“I was just about to knock, actually.”
“Funny.” She tilted her head when she was amused he had noticed, which he found adorable.
“You ready to get some breakfast?”
“I was just about to ask you the same thing.”
She pointed her thumb behind her into the room. “I’ll grab my things and meet you out in the hall.”
They headed down to the dining room. The Harbor Hotel had been an extravagance Matt wouldn’t have paid for in the past. He didn’t need fancy things, like a harbor-facing room in the middle of Boston. But seeing her in the morning, sitting across from her at breakfast, and knowing the whole day was theirs, was the best money he ever spent.
By the time they checked out, the snow had melted on the pavement and the roads were deemed safe by Channel Five news. On the ride back, Katie talked about design ideas she had for his website. They talked logistically about payments, shipments, and his ability to do it all himself. She must’ve stayed up all night thinking of questions to consider. Who would he market his lobsters to? How would he do the shipping? How would he advertise? All of it spun around him as he tried not to focus on the smell of lavender so close to him.
By the time they reached Camden Cove, they had quieted. He had been using the silence to think things through, make sure it was right. If it felt right, then why did he have so many doubts?
“Do you think your uncle’s going to be upset that we had to stay over with the van?”
“Only because he wasn’t there.” Matt pulled off the exit, sneaking a peek at Katie. He wished he had timed things better, but it was too late to get on the water and grab the traps, and too early to do much else. “I can bring you home before I drop off the van.”
She bit her bottom lip. “Sure.”
Her focus went out the window as the silence enveloped them again. He pulled up Riverside Road to Vivi’s place. “I had a great time.”
“I had a really incredible time,” she said, holding the door handle. Her thumb tapped against it, then she said, “I have tickets tonight for the playhouse. I wasn’t going to go, because they were for me and Eric, but if that’s not too weird, we... could?”
His mouth opened, but he hesitated before answering.
She jumped in, saying, “If it’s too weird, I can go myself, it’s just that I loved going there as a kid.”
Then a memory flashed in his head. “Didn’t we go together one time?”
She smiled. “Yeah, we saw–”
“Little Shop of Horrors!” they said in unison.
“I forgot about that.” He looked out the windshield, thinking of that night. “We’re old.”
“Shush!” she said. “Was that a yes?”
He laughed. “Only if I can take you out to dinner first. I know this really nice restaurant.”
“You do?” she smiled as his playfulness.
“I happen to live above it.”
She paused, looking into his eyes. “Then it’s a date.”
“I’ll pick you up at six.”
“I can pick you up at six,” she said, pointin
g to the minivan sitting in the driveway.
“Six it is.” This was his shot.
Eleven
Just after six, Kate and Matt sat down in the loft of The Fish Market at a two-person table. Jack had really come through for him. Candles lit the small area, glowing off the walls, and ceiling, and Kate’s eyes. Flowers sat in a vase on the table. The meal perfect. Their conversation easy.
“So, you two are going to a play?” Jack asked, after they had dessert.
“Yes, Shrek at the playhouse.”
Jack had something smart to say that sat on the tip of his tongue, by the smirk on his face, but he held back, which Matt was grateful for. Instead, he said his goodbyes and said, “Don’t forget Mr. Palmer is playing donkey this year.”
Except for a few changes inside to accommodate for modern technology, the playhouse had remained the same for all these years. As Matt watched the musical of Shrek, he couldn’t stop focusing on the fact that Mr. Palmer, his sister’s neighbor, was playing Donkey.
“I can’t wait to tell Elizabeth,” he said, after the lights came up.
She laughed while she clapped. He had started the countdown of when she was leaving in his head already, but tonight it had got to him as she sat in the dark, her face aglow from the stage lights. He couldn’t help but wish they could have had another night in Boston. Looking down at his watch as they stood from their seats, he saw that it was already past ten. Where in Camden Cove did you hang out in the middle of winter?
“Want to go to Finn’s Tavern?” he asked.
She stopped clapping and faced him. “Yes.”
The winter made Camden Cove appear empty during the daylight hours, but by night, a large crowd filled the tavern. The quaint bar looked exactly like one would expect in Maine. Moose antlers hung from the wall alongside fishing nets and lobster paraphernalia. Everyone wore flannel shirts and most sported winter hats. A glow from the woodstove in the corner reflected off the dark lacquered wood.
“This is nice.” She took a sip of the coffee he ordered for her.
“Finn’s been in business as long as I can remember.”
She looked around at the warm setting. Men and women huddled around small tables, while laughter and Bruce Springsteen could be heard over the dull hum of talking. “Why is everyone staring at us?” she asked, looking around the room.
“They’re trying to figure out who you are.” It would take a day’s time in a town like Camden Cove. It didn’t help his family usually were the ones who spread it. This time, however, he didn’t care. All he cared about was sitting across from Katie.
“How about we pick some songs?” He pulled out his wallet. The juke box hadn’t been updated since the late eighties.
From the other side of the tavern, the bell over the door chimed, and he glanced up to see Justine and Freddy walk in. Freddy smiled the second he and Matt made eye contact. He wrapped his arm around Justine’s shoulder as he guided her to the bar.
Katie turned in their direction. “I take it you don’t care for him.”
“Is it that obvious?” Matt tried to cover his disdain.
She shrugged. “You’ve greeted everyone else in the whole town.” She looked back over her shoulder. He tried to keep his focus on only her, but he quickly glanced their way. Justine’s eyes were fixed on him.
“He’s not my favorite person.” Matt took a long drink from his IPA before adding, “And that’s my ex-wife Justine with him.”
“Oh...” Her eyes left his and slanted down. She blew on her coffee, but Matt could feel the mood changing. It had made her instantly uncomfortable.
“If it makes any difference, I’ve always thought Freddy was a donkey.” Matt quirked the side of his mouth, showing he was playing.
“Do you want to leave?” She leaned on her elbows. “I completely understand.”
Matt shook his head. “Are you kidding? We haven’t picked our music.”
She smiled, but she wore a look of worry.
“Seriously, I haven’t worried about that in a long time, and neither should you.” Matt wanted nothing more than to convince her that Justine was in the past and that was where he wanted her to stay, but the awkwardness continued to grow between them.
Then, breaking the silence, Matt’s phone began to dance across the tabletop. A selfie of his sister Elizabeth flashed across the screen, but he ignored it. He wanted to reach over the table and grab her hand. Tell her how he couldn’t stop thinking of the smell of lavender, and how he lost his train of thought whenever she came near him. His tongue tied up, and no matter how hard he tried to push the words out, they wouldn’t come.
He rubbed his sweaty palms on his thighs, accidently brushing his leg against hers, almost sending him over the table to kiss her. Then, Gretchen broke the silence by coming up from behind with two beers in her hands. “Freddy wishes you a Merry Christmas.”
She looked over her shoulder to Freddy. When she turned back to Matt, she said, “He is a donkey.”
Matt broke out into a laugh so loud that almost everyone, including Justine and Freddy, turned to look at them.
“And Happy New Year!” he shouted to them. He picked up his glass and raised it into the air. Freddy watched from the bar as Justine pretended to look at her phone, but Matt could see her slyly checking them out.
From that point on, it simply didn’t matter what happened on the other side of the Tavern. The only thing that mattered at that moment was Katie sitting in front of him.
KATE LEANED BACK IN her chair and liked the way she felt. A warm buzz from the beer and the heat from the woodstove pulsated throughout her body as she watched the burning embers. The amber glow flickered across Matt’s face.
As much as she tried not to, Kate couldn’t help sneaking glances at Matt’s ex-wife, and Justine did a poor job of pretending to not pay attention to Matt. The guy she was with talked loudly to another couple next to them. Instantly, comparisons filtered through her head. There was no denying Justine’s beauty. She had a classic, coastal-casual style that people in the city tried to emulate.
Kate imagined they must’ve been a handsome couple. She wondered if it was only the fishing that tore them apart. With the way Justine played with a large diamond ring on her finger, she assumed there had to be much more to their story.
Justine continued to twist and center the diamond. She could tell it was big, even from a distance. Kate thought of her own ring, sitting in a box in her suitcase. She wondered what kind of ring Matt would buy.
Then he laughed from across the table.
“What’s so funny?” she asked, raising her eyebrow suspiciously.
“I still cannot believe I’m sitting here with you.” He shook his head. “I honestly thought I’d never see you again.”
“I never expected to see you, either.”
Matt leaned forward, a mischievous smile on his face. “How about a walk home in the snow?”
She looked at the clock. It was after midnight, and the snow floated around outside. She jumped off her stool and pulled her coat off the back of her chair. “That sounds like the best idea I’ve heard all night.”
Kate noticed Justine give a sideward glance as she and Matt left Finn’s. When they stepped out of the tavern, a silent hush filled the night air. They were the only two people out on the road. She glanced toward the harbor square, just barely making out the lights of the footbridge through the snow.
Matt walked off the edge of the sidewalk and onto the street. Only a few cars were parked along the side, and she followed in his footsteps. They didn’t speak, just walked silently in the snow. Then he reached out for her gloved hand and clasped it in his. A tingle ran up her arm as she sucked in a breath.
They continued walking, silently holding hands, until they reached the village square. Matt slowed down and came to a stop in front of the Christmas tree. He didn’t let go of her hand as they stood there. The colors of the lights illuminated their faces and gleamed in the freshly fallen snow. “I
don’t want the night to end. Come up and have a drink.”
Every ounce of her being urged for her to say yes, but she hesitated. Was going to Matt’s place the right thing to do? She couldn’t promise that she’d be able to control herself around Matt. A drink encouraged rash, impulsive decisions that were not her style, but she didn’t want to be the same old Kate.
She wanted to be Katie.
She tilted her head up to the sky. This was the kind of moment when she wanted to take everything in. The thick flakes swirled around them as if they stood inside a snow globe. The bottom boughs of the Christmas tree drooped low, touching the ground with pillows of snow. Off in the distance, the ocean waves crashed with their steady beat. Her heart pulsed rapidly as Matt watched her, waiting for her to answer.
She stepped closer to him, the salty air mixed in with his musky scent. He squeezed her hand, and that’s when she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Her inhibitions were gone, and she had never felt so alive in her whole life. Every cell in her body was on fire. Kissing Matt Williams in the middle of Camden Cove in the snow was absolutely exhilarating.
She pressed her lips harder against his as his hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her in closer to him. And suddenly, the spinning and twirling caught her off guard, and she stepped back.
Twelve
“I’m so sorry,” Katie said, her arms sliding from around his neck as she stepped away. Their breath billowed out between them. Matt took her hands and gave them two quick squeezes. Would she remember what that meant? She squeezed back, but took another step away.
“Don’t be sorry.” He blew out a breath of his own, hardly able to gather his thoughts. “That was amazing.”
She bit her lower lip. “I should go.”
She may have stopped kissing him, but there was no denying it. She was feeling the same way he did. Matt didn’t want whatever this was to end, but he also didn’t want to push her. “Let me at least walk you back.”