Take the Shot

by Danica Flynn

  I almost died during my miscarriage because I was hemorrhaging and I didn’t know it. They had to perform surgery on me, and there was some scarring. The doctors had told me if I really wanted a kid, I could try IVF, but it was costly and unlikely. They gave me a one percent chance of bringing another pregnancy to term. I had since made my peace with it, but I didn’t like to talk about it. My life could be fulfilled without a husband or children in it, but I was not bringing that conversation up with my family. No wonder Eddie was scared to tell them that his business partner was his boyfriend. They just wouldn’t understand.

  “I need some air,” I made an excuse and went outside with my beer.

  Noah looked like he wanted to follow me but then my Dad had walked over and I knew he was going to drill Noah about the Bulldogs. In the backyard, I slunk against the wall and drank my beer slowly. I blinked the tears down my face thinking that I was finally alone.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” I smelt the cigarette before I heard Eddie’s voice asking the question.

  FUCK!

  I wiped my tears away. “Nothing,” I lied.

  Eddie stubbed out his cigarette and pulled me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me like a good older brother. “Come on, tell me,” he urged.

  Sobs racked my chest and I let it soak onto my brother’s leather jacket. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  “Hey, seriously, what’s wrong? Why isn’t your boyfriend out here consoling you? Did you get in a fight already?”

  I shook my head. “Dad trapped him in a hockey conversation.”

  Eddie laughed sarcastically. “Poor guy.”

  “He’s a fucking Canadian saint, I swear!”

  “Must be if he puts up with you.”

  “Ass!”

  He stuck his tongue out at me and I gave him my middle finger. “He’s good to you, though, right?”

  “So good. Like I think I built him in a factory, Eds.”

  He rolled his eyes at that. “So, why the fuck are you out here crying?”

  I sighed. “Mom was going on and on about if we were going to get married and how we should do it soon if we want to have kids before my eggs shriveled up.”

  “So? Just ignore her.”

  “Eddie...I can’t have kids.”

  Eddie looked down at me with a shocked and concerned look. “What do you mean?”

  “I had a miscarriage right after Jason died. It was really bad, I almost bled to death, but Noah found me in the stairwell and took me to the hospital. I basically owe him my life.”

  “Okay, so lots of women have miscarriages and go on to have kids later.”

  I shook my head. “I had to have surgery and there was scaring. They suggested IVF being an option, but the likelihood of it being successful are slim. Like one percent. Basically I’m infertile.”

  “Okay...that’s not the end of the world.”

  I laughed. “Have you met our mother?”

  He laughed too. “You should just tell her. Get it over with so she’ll give it a rest.”

  I leveled him with a raised eyebrow. “Like how you told them about you and Alex?”

  “Noah was there for you when it happened? He knows?” he asked, changing the subject.

  I nodded.

  “Fuck, sis. That man loves you.”

  “I do,” came Noah’s voice from the back door. My gaze shifted over to him and I swiped my fingers across my face to wipe away the salty tears. “You okay?” he asked.

  Eddie looked between us and slunk away suddenly. Noah put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. “Your family doesn’t know you can’t have kids.”

  “Nope.”

  “Oh, Dinah, I’m sorry,” he said softly. His hand grazed across my cheek, wiping away the last of the tears I had let fall.

  “I’m sorry for abandoning you to deal with my dad.”

  “I was more concerned about if you were okay.”

  I looked up into his blue eyes and they were a storm of torment. Eddie was right, this man did love me and I was too much of a coward to say it back to him. “Be honest with me, do you want children?”

  He balked. “What?”

  “Noah, I can’t have kids. Even if I tried to do IVF, it likely won’t work. I could go through another painful miscarriage like before.”

  “Lovey,” he whispered and ran his hand down my cheek. He caressed me there and I leaned into the warmth of his hand. “I care about you. You not being able to have kids isn’t a deal breaker for me. Okay?”

  “Noah, if you want kids down the line—”

  He cut me off by bending his head and capturing my lips in a soft kiss. I melted into him and pushed my fears to the side.

  24

  NOAH

  I sat at the kitchen table and watched in amusement at Dinah’s brothers, Tony and Eddie, arguing about football. Every few minutes they asked for my opinion, but I played the dumb Canadian hockey player line so I didn’t have to get involved. I glanced across the room, spying Dinah sitting on the floor in the living room playing with her niece.

  My heart was breaking for the woman I loved. Finding her during her miscarriage had been the scariest thing I ever had to deal with. I thought she had died, so I could only imagine the scars she still dealt with. It also made me mad that she thought because she couldn’t biologically have a kid that would be a deal breaker for me. I wasn’t even sure I wanted kids, but if I did, there were other options. There were surrogates and there was adoption, and holy fuck I was getting too far ahead of myself. I wanted to just take her home and hold her until she felt better about this. But today I was playing the good boyfriend and dealing with her insane family.

  I beamed at the thought that she finally admitted I was her boyfriend. It filled me with this warm feeling in the center of my chest. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Dinah’s oldest brother Frankie standing in front of me. Frankie, the oldest of the Mezzanetti siblings, was a little stoic, but he also seemed to keep his brothers in line. Especially Tony, that guy had such an aggressive personality. I half-wondered if that was all an act though. Eddie was more reserved, sitting back in the shadows with a sarcastic remark here or there. I think I understood where Dinah got it from.

  “Hey, man,” I greeted Frankie.

  Frankie ran a hand through his greying hair and nodded his head towards his sister. “You really love my sister, huh?”

  “That obvious?”

  He nodded with a smile. “Saw it when she brought you into my shop. You’re a good guy, don’t fuck it up.”

  With that he walked away, leaving me a little confused at his words. Unlike Tony, who had threatened “if you break her heart, I’ll break your face” the words from Frankie rang more like, “I like you and want you both to be happy.” Huh. Maybe her brothers just put on that Italian tough-guy act.

  I didn’t have time to think about it because Dinah was walking over to me now with a smile on her face. I smiled back at her and pulled her onto my lap. She curled into me, resting her head in the crook of my neck while we listened to her brothers debate. I was starting to come to the conclusion that Eddie was arguing with Tony just for the sake of arguing.

  She lifted up her head to glare at her brothers. “Will you two give it a rest?”

  Eddie smirked at her. “It’s like you don’t even know us.”

  Tony was glaring at me, probably because my hand was wrapped around Dinah’s waist dangerously close to her ass. I wanted to say I wouldn’t be a completely overprotective brother with my little sister Maddie, but I also knew I already scared off her last boyfriend when I visited home last summer. I wondered if she was still mad at me about that.

  “What are you thinking about?” Dinah asked me.

  “Maddie.”

  “Your sister?”

  I nodded. “Did I tell you I scared off her boyfriend last summer?”

  Dinah barked out a laugh and looked at me in disbelief. “You? I just can’t picture it.”

  I shrugged
. “He wasn’t good enough for her.”

  Tony leveled me with a stare, as if studying me then he just nodded and returned back to arguing with Eddie. Dinah was giggling into my neck and it tickled so much, but I loved it. “What was that about?” I whispered.

  “I think you’ve been approved,” she explained.

  I laughed too. “I think Frankie already gave me the approval.”

  She kissed my neck softly and her breath was hot in my ear. “I think we should get out of here.”

  “You sure?”

  She nodded and slid off my lap. “Yeah, you have a one o’clock game tomorrow anyway. Wait, stay there. It takes like a half hour to say goodbye to everyone in this family.”

  I stared as she took off to make her rounds to her family, but was a bit confused on why she hadn’t asked me to join her. Although, the way her dad had trapped me in a conversation on how I needed to just shoot the puck, maybe I was being rewarded. Eddie and Tony had stopped their fight because Eddie had walked away to talk to one of their cousins. I watched from my spot as Dinah said goodbye to her cousins, her brother Frankie, and his wife Sofia. I stood up when she returned back to me and took her hand.

  “You didn’t take that long,” I joked.

  She grimaced. “My mom wanted to say goodbye to you.”

  I laughed. “Oh come on, your family isn’t that bad. They’re just very protective of you.”

  She grumbled and dragged me towards where her parents were sitting. Her niece was in her dad’s lap, and he tickled her until she laughed. Dinah had a pained look on her face, and I knew she was just thinking about one of the worst days of her life.

  I bent down to hug her mom. “Mrs. Mezzanetti, thanks for having me.”

  She waved her hand at me as if to dismiss me. Her dark eyes were shining as she looked between me and her daughter. “Anytime, Noah. We’re so glad you two sorted this out.”

  I eyed her in question.

  She laughed. “Oh, honey, we knew when you showed up for Jason’s funeral that you only had eyes for our Dinah.”

  Dinah was blushing. “Mom,” she whined.

  I squeezed her hand. I held my hand out to her dad. “Sir, thanks for having me.”

  Her dad shook it firmly. “You be good to our girl, okay?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Dad...” she whined. “He’s so good to me, like you don’t even know. Stop worrying.”

  I squeezed her hand again and smiled at her.

  Her mom was beaming again and turned to me. “Maybe you can convince her that she needs to seriously think about getting on the baby train.”

  “Hon,” her dad warned.

  Dinah was balling her hands into fists. “Mom, stop.”

  I squeezed her hand again to tell her to calm down.

  Her mom just shrugged her shoulders. “What? You need to really think about it.”

  “What’s there to think about?” Dinah snapped back. “I can’t fucking have kids.”

  My heart broke to see the tears welling up in my girlfriend’s eyes. Her mom’s face went ashen. “Oh, Dinah. Why didn’t you tell us?”

  “Let’s go,” Dinah snapped at me. “Now!”

  “D,” her dad called. “I’m sorry! Calm down, let’s talk about it.”

  “I don’t want to talk about it. Just please, stop asking me about when you’re getting grandkids from me. Please,” my girlfriend was begging and it broke my heart even more.

  “You could always adopt,” her mom offered.

  “Mom...please,” she urged.

  “Come on, Lovey, let’s get you home, eh?” I asked, trying to diffuse the situation entirely.

  I helped her back into her jacket. We walked out of her brother’s place and I got her into the car. She was now in a fit of crying, and I didn’t blame her, but I hated seeing her this way. I felt completely helpless, because there was literally nothing I could do to fix this problem for her. Other than hold her and let her cry on my shoulder.

  I was getting into the driver’s side when I heard someone call my name. Her dad was walking over to me and he clapped me on the shoulder. “I’m sorry about that. Dinah never told us.”

  “I know. It was hard for her.”

  He eyed me. “Was it...” he started to ask and let the question hang.

  I shook my head. “It happened after Jason’s death.”

  Her dad hung his head. “She okay?”

  I nodded. “I was the one who found her.”

  “Fuck...” he swore and drawled the word out.

  I just nodded in agreement, there wasn’t much to really say about it. “I better get her home.”

  “Not your fault, son. But thanks for being there for her.”

  We shook hands and then I got back into the car. Dinah was wiping tears from her eyes, but I knew she didn’t want me to make a fuss. This was hard for her. When we got back to our complex, she unlocked the door to her place, and I followed her inside. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. I leaned up against the counter and watched her rummage around in her kitchen. Dinah wasn’t a girl that I think men would call “hot," but to me she was the most beautiful girl in the world, even when she was scowling at me for being a creep and watching her drink water.

  I crossed over to her and lifted her up onto the counter so we were eye-level. She laughed, but wrapped her delicate hands around the back of my neck. I bent my head and kissed her lips softly. I pulled back to just look at her.

  “Hi,” I breathed at her.

  “Hi yourself!” she joked. Her hands were starting to play with my hair, her fingernails caressing my scalp and it felt so good. I had to bite my tongue just so I didn’t give her the satisfaction of my moan.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  She nodded. “I’m glad I finally told them, but it just sucked.”

  “I know, Lovey. Sorry it had to be that way.”

  “Me too. I might have overreacted with my mom.”

  I held my forefinger and thumb together. “Just a bit.”

  “Thanks for putting up with me.”

  “I’m good to you, eh?” I joked, hoping changing the subject would distract her.

  She tweaked my nose. “Don’t be a little shit, you know you are.”

  “How good?”

  “So good!” she exclaimed and had a wide smile plastered across her face.

  “Oh, yeah?” I teased some more. “You want me to demonstrate how good I am some more?”

  She laughed and kissed the side of my neck. “Boy, you know it.”

  She yelped in surprise as I lifted her up into my arms and led her into her bedroom.

  25

  DINAH

  The Bulldogs had a later game today, and I was tagging along with Fi, who I had been talking to more now that we had really connected. It was nice to have a fellow writer friend, especially one who was also new to this whole hockey WAG lifestyle. I wasn’t really sure if she and Riley were going to make their marriage work, but I was really pulling for them. I totally and shamelessly shipped it. I couldn’t believe she didn’t see how much he loved her. I’ve known Aaron Riley for a couple years, and I have never seen him look at a woman that way he looked at Fiona Gallagher. Riley had always come off to me as the king of casual hookups, never one to settle down, but as soon as he brought his new wife to TJ and Noah’s, I knew why he was like that. Holy hell, he loved that woman something fierce. He would pull down all the stars from the sky if she only asked him to. It made me want to slap her silly, because she looked at him in the exact same way when he wasn’t looking.

  I had woken up early this morning so I could get some writing done before Noah had to leave for the arena. Since it was an early game, there was no morning skate, so in lieu of his pre-game nap he slept in a little later than usual. I hadn’t been lying to my family last night when I told them Noah was good to me. I let him be very good to me last night after putting up with them too. Especially all the drama when I finally blurted out the secr
et I had been keeping from them.

  I jumped at the tap on my shoulder.

  Noah looked at me apologetically. “Sorry, Lovey.”

  I took my headset off my head and placed it on my desk. My eyes tracked over him, taking in the royal blue suit he was wearing. His dark hair was slicked back still wet from the shower. He looked so good in that suit.

  “Are you heading out?” I asked.

  “Yeah, got to get to the arena. Make sure you remember to eat lunch, okay? I know you get too in the zone sometimes and forget,” he told me with a stern look in his eyes.

  “I’m grabbing lunch with Fi before the game, remember?” I chided.

  He lifted my chin up with his finger and he knelt down to my height to kiss me softly. “I forgot. You’ll come to the game, right?”

  I placed both hands on the side of his face. “I promised I would. Go on, then.”

  His hand slid into my hair, his nails raking across the back of my scalp and I might have purred at the sensation of it. He kissed me again, long and hard this time.

  “Babe, go!” I insisted and practically pushed him away.

  He laughed, but finally left. I turned back to my computer and set a timer so I didn’t get so lost that I forgot to go meet Fi. By the time the alarm sounded on my phone, I hadn’t really gotten that much done. I ended up just rereading all the chapters I had already written, before getting to the place I had last left off. Which meant I was really stuck and I was just procrastinating by rereading and revising without actually doing any real work.

  With a sigh, I closed my laptop and headed into my bedroom to figure out what to wear. I mean I knew what to wear, it was a hockey game. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go with the jersey that had Noah’s last name on the back or one of my old school Patrick O’Sullivan jerseys. Or just a Bulldog shirt. I stood in front of my closet with my finger on my lips in contemplation, when my phone buzzed in my hand. I rolled my eyes at Fi’s name on the screen.

  “Hi, Fi,” I gritted out.

  “We’re still meeting right?” she asked.

  “I’m not late...”

  “No! I just know us writers can be flaky.”