The Ebb

by Effrosyni Moschoudi

  She sat with her mother and Maggie, who had brought along her cousin Eric as her escort. Eric had seemed familiar to Laura, and she smiled widely when she placed him, after just a few seconds of confusion. He worked at the stalls near the base of the Pier. She’d bought fancy hairpins and fake jewellery from him on many occasions but didn’t know until then that he was Maggie’s cousin. He was a nice young lad, who’d smile broadly and touch her arm as he spoke to her, just like Maggie did.

  After the wedding, at the reception hall, Laura was relieved to be placed with the same people again. She felt grateful, especially for Eric, who kept chatting cheerfully about this and that as soon as they sat at their table. She hoped his pleasant company could distract her enough as to stop thinking about Christian, wondering who he would be likely to arrive with, any minute now. Thankfully, she didn’t have to spend a long time in the agony of the wait.

  That velvety voice she couldn’t possibly ever misplace floated around the room behind her. She spun her head around and saw him standing there, facing everyone at the table with a cheerful smile, and a young girl by his side.

  She was a stranger but looked sweet and dignified, standing rather timidly by him, a far cry from the likes of Sarah.

  Christian became at once the focus of attention, complimenting Maggie for the way she had done her hair and patting Eric on the back. At the stag party the night before, the two boys had had a fun time together, and he was now making jokes with him. He even made sure to compliment Ruth for her nice black dress, thus intentionally leaving Laura unnoticed, the only person he had nothing to say to, as if they were total strangers. To her dismay, he started to introduce the girl to everyone now.

  “This is Emily everyone! Emily, let me introduce you to my friends. This is Maggie and her cousin Eric. This lovely lady here is Mrs Mayfield, and this is her daughter… um… ugh…” He paused, jerking his outstretched hand that pointed towards Laura, letting the sentence hang awkwardly in the air, pretending he couldn’t remember her name.

  “My name is Laura,” she finally uttered, after a few dreadful seconds, once she managed to recover from the shock of Christian’s cruelty. She became livid with him then, but at least, anger was easier to hide than pain. She offered her hand to the girl, smiling agreeably, and she managed it with unexpected ease. Her eyes never betrayed her distress. Anger brewed inside her strong enough, as to cast it aside.

  Laura picked up her glass for a sip of wine and witnessed Maggie shoot a fiery glare of disapproval at Christian, but he was cracking another joke with Eric at the time and never even noticed.

  At last, Christian and his date turned away, and they went to sit at the top table. Laura heaved a sigh, grateful for Meg’s thoughtful decision not to place her at the same table with him. She threw a surreptitious glance in his direction and regretted it at once.

  Christian was sitting next to the girl. He toyed with a strand of her hair, whispering something in her ear, but as he did so, he stared back at Laura. Questionably enough, there was a good measure of hostility in his eyes.

  Laura took another sip from her glass. Why does he have to be so cruel? Isn't it enough that he let me go so harshly and unfairly?

  “What did I tell you, Laura?” came her mother’s whispered comment in her ear. “What a peasant he is! You’re better off with Charles, dear. If only you had listened to me and invited him here, that swine wouldn’t have dared treat you like that in his presence!” she added, attempting to leak even more poison against Christian in her daughter’s heart, but once again, to no avail. Her mother’s manipulations were becoming more and more evident to Laura, but even though she loved her so much, she didn’t intend to marry a man just because it would be her mother’s favourite.

  “Oh, do shut up, Mother! Enough with Charles already!” she retorted, shooting daggers at her. Ruth pursed her lips and took the angered response without as much as a sigh.

  Maggie, who sat on the other side of Laura, reached out with a tender hand to squeeze hers gently under the table.

  “He doesn’t deserve you, Laura; not if he’s capable of hurting you like this,” she whispered.

  “Thank you, Maggie.” That was all Laura could manage in grateful response. A knot in her throat started to swell, and the sting of tears in her eyes threatened to give away her inner turmoil.

  And Maggie, who could see it all, turned to Eric and prompted him to tell another joke.

  Chapter 37

  The reception progressed with the groom’s speech and then the best man’s speech, which was delivered of course by none other than Christian. Inevitably, it was peppered with many jokes that the audience appreciated with hearty laughter.

  Laura was suffering on the other hand; she could hardly bring herself to look in Christian’s direction while he spoke. Yet, she couldn’t help noticing he was getting quite intoxicated, judging from the way he slurred the odd word. The unmistakable sign, however, came when he spilled his drink onto his shirt while holding his raised glass with an unsteady hand during the toast.

  “Shameful, just shameful,” uttered Ruth under her breath, unable to contain herself. This time, Laura simply ignored her.

  ***

  By the time the dancing started, Laura had been reduced to an emotional wreck, finding it all the more difficult to conceal her grief. Although Eric asked her to dance, she declined politely and hardly uttered a word, as she watched cheerful couples sway on the floor. Every now and then, she glanced at the ornate wall clock, wondering what time she could leave that would pass as appropriate, without anyone guessing she hadn’t enjoyed herself at all.

  Across the hall, Christian kept drinking and shooting angry glances at Laura, but as the minutes ticked by, his anger gradually mellowed. By late evening, the look in his eyes, albeit still intense and smouldering, had changed to one of regret, if not sorrow.

  The girl, Emily, seemed happy enough sitting by him, although judging from the body language and the way she tried to take the bottle from his hands twice to no avail, it was evident she minded the amount of alcohol he had consumed.

  Around eight thirty p.m., Laura made sounds about going, and her mother commented at once that she was getting rather tired. Maggie nodded in agreement, and Eric offered to drive them all home. Laura excused herself to go to the Ladies’ room first, and Maggie stood up eagerly to go with her.

  Coming out of the Ladies’, the smiles on their faces froze when they found Christian leaning against the wall in the corridor, a sulky expression on misty blue eyes, hands buried deep in his pockets.

  “Christian!” said Maggie with a start.

  Laura didn’t even flinch. She only stared back at him mutely. What does he want? The raised question bloomed to fill her mind, not leaving room inside her for another question or feeling.

  “Laura, can I speak to you for a minute?” he asked, never taking his eyes off her.

  She tipped a defiant chin. “What about?” She wasn’t going to give him an inch if he wanted a fight. She was ready for it.

  “Please Maggie, could you leave us alone for a moment? I promise I won't keep Laura long,” he said, ignoring Laura’s hostility. He sounded pleading and Maggie shrugged her shoulders, eyeing him with disbelief. She shook a sharp finger at him. “As long as you promise me to be civil! You’ve drunk a lot!”

  Christian gave a firm nod. “I swear I’ll be the perfect gentleman.” When he unglued himself from the wall to take a step forward, he lost his footing and wavered on his feet for a moment or two. Thankfully, he managed to keep his balance.

  “Oops!” he muttered, flashing them a silly grin.

  Maggie shook her head and pointed at him again. “Behave! Just behave!” she warned him with the sternness of a boarding school headmistress.

  “All right,” he answered with a vague wave of his hand.

  When Maggie walked away, Laura darted her eyes at him with caution.

  “What do you want from me? By the way, it’s surprising how you re
membered my name just now, but you couldn’t before.” She was unable to contain her bitterness. By then, she was also beyond caring he might guess his cruel joke had hurt her.

  Christian put up his hands. “I’m sorry about that. I acted like an arse, I know. Look, I just want to ask you a question, that’s all.”

  “What is it?” she asked coldly, folding her arms in front of her chest, bracing herself for whatever else he was preparing to throw at her.

  “Why hasn’t your fiancé escorted you today?”

  “My fiancé? What are you—?”

  “Yes, your fiancé! Willard! Did you think I wouldn’t find out, Laura?” He flashed her a sour grin. “I say, he’s quite a catch and so are you. Congratulations, by the way. But why hasn’t he shown his face here today? I imagine he thinks we are too common a crowd for the likes of him. Arrogant bastard!” The insult came out fiercely, through gritted teeth, despite his best intentions to control his anger.

  “That’s enough!” she retorted, her cheeks burning red.

  “You know, it would be a shame if a common chap like me were to find an opportunity and steal you from him, like he stole you from me!” Christian’s face was animated with mockery now. It looked nothing like the sweet face Laura had once adored.

  “Shut up! You’re drunk! You’re making a fool of yourself. Have you lost your mind completely?” She was yelling now. Alarm glinted in her eyes, and she glanced over her shoulder down the long corridor, relieved to find no one was in earshot.

  “I know exactly what I’m talking about! You got engaged. You didn’t even have the decency to let some time pass first. You gave yourself to the very first man with a fat wallet!”

  “You drunken idiot! How dare you!” Before she knew it, her hand rose into the air, landing on his cheek with a slap that resounded in the walls in a deafening way.

  His face took on a benevolent, pained expression that made him look like a little boy. It was like the strike had released in him all his pain. She saw it clearly in his eyes, and for an absurd moment, she thought she even saw love there again, the love she once knew so well he used to have for her.

  “Tell me I’m wrong, Laura. I want to believe you. I need to…” he whispered.

  “You’ve drunk a lot, Christian. You’d better go home,” she answered calmly, equally surrendering from the intention to fight and yell at each other any more.

  “Do you know how hard it was for me to find out like that?”

  “Find out what, Christian? What are you talking about?”

  “That you got engaged to Willard. What else?” he asked softly, the rage all drained out of him. Only grief was now colouring his wavering voice.

  “Christian, I’m not engaged to him. Who told you that?” she demanded abruptly, her last reserves of patience spent. She imagined it was futile to try to reason with someone so highly intoxicated. She wondered if it would be best to just ignore him and go join the others.

  “This man on the phone told me, Laura, when I phoned the theatre in London.”

  Laura raised her brows at him. “You phoned? When?” Her plan to turn about face and leave him alone to his insensate blathering was suddenly abandoned.

  “Are you serious? I left a message for you. I phoned twice. Didn’t you hear?”

  “No!”

  “But I left a message with a girl. She assured me she would let you know at once. And the second time, this man said he couldn’t interrupt you, because you were with your fiancé in the dressing room. He named him! The Viscount Willard!”

  “That’s absurd! And no one told me you phoned!”

  “What? I don’t understand,” came Christian’s confounded response in a mere whisper.

  “Oh God!” She gasped, then brought a hand to her mouth.

  “What?” he asked. His hopes hung desperately from the look of sheer astonishment in her eyes.

  “There’s only one man who could have played this nasty trick on you.”

  “Willard?”

  “Who else? But I can't imagine how he knew about you. I never mentioned your name to him, you see.”

  “Bastard! Why, that devious snake! I’ll give him a piece of my mind when I see him next!” he said indignantly, shaking his fist in the air.

  Laura put up a hand. “You will do no such thing! Let me deal with him.”

  Christian nodded. Laura looked livid, and he felt vindicated. Willard was going to be in serious trouble.

  “So, my instinct’s been proven right. I wouldn’t trust this man as far as I could throw him,” she mumbled, pacing up and down the width of the corridor, still trying to recover from the shock.

  “Not trust him? You’re not engaged to him, but you’re with him surely! Or aren’t you?”

  Laura turned to face him and saw a glimmer of hope in his eyes. Am I imagining things? Why should he care?

  “I’m sure that’s none of your business,” she replied, deciding to keep him out of her affairs. After all, he had made his decision. There was a girl sitting in the hall waiting for him. Laura couldn’t overlook that.

  He shook his head. “I know, I’m sorry.”

  “Anyway, now you know I’m not engaged. Although, I don’t see what difference it makes to you if I’m with him,” she said, before she could help it, and turned away.

  “But it does,” his voice echoed behind her, sweet like honey, just like it used to be. It brought shivers down her spine to hear it.

  “I don’t see how. Not after Sarah, and now Emily…” she said with as much dignity as she could muster, when she turned to face him again.

  “It was all I could do to take you off my mind. Please Laura…” he said, leaping forward to put his arms around her.

  “What are you doing?” Stunned, she jerked backwards to free herself from his embrace. She wasn’t sure if it was the drink talking, or if he was serious, and she couldn’t risk it. She couldn’t allow herself to open her heart and let him in if he didn’t mean it.

  “I still love you, Laura! I’m so sorry, please forgive me,” he said, taking another step towards her. This time, however, he respected her wish and refrained from reaching out to hold her, no matter how his hands still ached to do so.

  Laura tilted her head and searched his face. “What are you saying, Christian? That I am to forget you rushed to replace me with these two girls? And God knows how many others there’ve been that I don’t even know about.”

  “Please listen,” he pleaded, putting up his hands. “Sarah was a mistake! I went crazy when I found out Willard was chasing after you! I thought I had lost you already. I chucked Sarah the day you went to London. I only went out with her out of spite, to hurt you, to make you jealous. I never loved her. I’ve never loved anyone else but you! I never even slept with her, for God’s sake! I swear!”

  Spent, he stared into her eyes mutely, but all he found there was disbelief. It hung between them like a tall mountain he could never climb; like a huge iceberg he could never melt down. He shut his eyes for a second, then shook his head decisively before speaking again.

  “Listen to me please! I rang up the Society and got the number for the theatre. I rang you up to explain about Sarah, to beg you to forgive me. I went through hell when you went to London. I couldn’t bear the thought you were there alone with him, that I had allowed it to happen because of my stupid head!”

  “And what about Emily?” managed Laura, dumbfounded after his confession. “Where does she fit in all this?”

  “Emily’s my cousin visiting from Devon… I may have deliberately omitted to mention this little detail,” he said, grinning mischievously out of the blue. “She’s here for a few days with my aunt. I expected you’d be here with Willard, and I didn’t want to come on my own. I asked Paul yesterday if I could bring a girl, and he was kind enough to accommodate me in the last minute.”

  An easy smile formed on his lips. Before she knew it, Laura was mirroring his expression of relief. She sighed deeply as she locked eyes with him, unbel
ieving.

  “Please forgive me? I’m just a fool…”

  “Indeed, what a stupid fool you’ve been!” Laura shook her head, and he saw the love in her eyes then. Taking heart, he took her hands and cradled them tenderly in his, against his chest.

  “Take me back, Laura! Please take me back, and I promise I’ll never let you down again.” His eyes had turned huge and cobalt blue. They reminded Laura of that night under the strong moonlight when he’d left her at her door for the very first time.

  Christian leaned closer and rested his forehead on hers. The narrow space around them started to spin a little, as they closed their eyes and their hearts began to soar.

  “Oh, Christian…” was all she could manage before he took her in his arms and kissed her the way it always had been; as if not a single day had passed since the last time.

  Chapter 38

  1987

  Another day’s work at the pier was over. It was just over a week since Danny and Steve had left. Sofia strived to get back to the old routine, but it proved impossible for her to pretend Danny hadn’t been there at all; that he hadn’t come in like a sweeping tornado, changing her life forever and the way she looked at things.

  Once again, she was wearing the straw panama hat he had given her. She was hardly ever seen around the village without it these days. When she missed Danny too much to even care to hide it, she’d wear it around her grandparents’ house as well, even at mealtimes. Gran was the only one who’d occasionally comment on it, teasing her that it would give her beach lice or something silly like that.

  Sofia had lied to her she’d found it abandoned on the shore one evening. Yet, the look Gran often gave her when Sofia wore the hat, had made her realise that she’d guessed it was a present from someone special. Perhaps Gran had noticed how she caressed its brim with her fingertips absentmindedly sometimes, as they watched TV; or maybe she had guessed because Sofia always seemed to have it near her. Even at night when she slept, she kept it close to her so that she could touch it in the dark if she wanted to. It was always well within her reach, hanging on the back of the chair by her bedside.