by Nella Tyler
The message cut him off as he was saying goodbye. I was speechless in my drunken stupor and wasn't sure what to think. I wasn't sure if I should even talk to him again. Was there really any point? What was done was done and we can't change what happened. I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to call him back. If I called him back, I might as well give him another chance. By calling him back I would be saying essentially that I want to continue dating him, and I wasn't sure if I did want to continue dating him. It wasn't that I didn't believe him because I never really thought he did anything wrong. There was no proof of it, it was just assumed because of the article. But that didn't mean he did anything he should be ashamed of. And I needed to remember that. So it wasn't about believing in him, it was more about the fact that the opinions other people had about our relationship tainted things for me before our relationship even started and I even got a chance to recognize or feel anything for Bennett. And I know that it wasn't his fault that it started to fall apart, but in the end, that's what happened, and I needed to realize that maybe being apart was what was best for both of us. Neither one of us should be in the limelight right now, neither one of us should be dealing with bad publicity. Especially when neither of us did anything wrong – it was just a silly thing that happened that shouldn't have happened and now the two of us were stuck in this mess. The problem was all I wanted to do was get out of the mess.
If I continued to date Bennett, there was a good chance that I would continue having to deal with more articles being printed about our continuing relationship. That was the last thing I wanted. I want to be able to enjoy the dating part of being with Bennett without having to deal with negative comments from everybody about our relationship. It just wasn't fair, and I wasn't sure if I was willing to deal with that.
Again, it wasn't that I didn't believe him because there was a large part of me that didn't. The thing about Bennett was that it just didn't sit well with everything that I had known and heard about him up until this point. It was just a connotation, the perception that everyone had now been in and it didn't seem like anybody was rooting for us or was happy that we were together. In fact, the opposite was happening, everyone had this perception that Bennett was using me and because of that perception, everyone thought that I was the fool for being involved with him. Considering I was in the same industry as he was, the last thing I want to be thought of was a fool. I wanted people to respect me and see me as a strong female in the industry, not some girl that caught up with a baseball player and was made a fool of.
I wasn't sure what I was going to do; I was drunk and alone and sitting in the bathroom on a toilet feeling stupid once again. I decide to return back to my booth with Connie and drink some more. Whether that was a good idea or not didn't matter. I didn't want to be thinking about this right now. But that had been my mistake, thinking that coming into the bathroom and listening to the message would somehow make me feel better, when in fact it did the opposite.
I got up and left the bathroom. I didn't bother to call him back.
Chapter Five
When my alarm went off at 6 a.m. the next day, I woke feeling ill and lethargic. I had no interest in getting out of bed, but I knew I had stuff to do. I rolled over and drank out of the water glass I had beside my bed. Last night had been a mistake, but I wasn't going to dwell on it. Today was a new day, and I had to get with the program. It was unnecessary to wallow in misery. In fact, I had to write an article on Bennett for the game he had last night. I hadn't talked to my editor about the poor choice she had made on the article regarding our dating life. I wasn't even sure yet how I was going to handle that. I couldn't just let it go – there had to be some kind of discussion about it and I was sure that my editor expected that. In fact, she probably didn't expect to get an article from me that day, but I was a professional and would do what I had to do.
I rolled out of bed and went into the bathroom to clean myself up. The room spun when I got out of the bed, but I willed myself to ignore it. I was determined not to throw up. With that thought, I felt a rumble in my stomach. I turned to the toilet immediately and got on my hands and knees. I threw up everything that was in my stomach and gagged.
Oh yes, the day would be interesting indeed. When I was confident I wouldn't throw up again, I picked myself up off the ground and rinsed my mouth out. I brushed my teeth and hair and made my way into the kitchen. I put a pot of coffee on because I was going to need it. I popped a couple of Tylenol and drank a glass of water, something I should have done before going to bed.
I positioned my laptop on my kitchen table and booted it up. I watched it go through the motions of turning on and updating while I waited for my coffee. I poured myself a large cup and added cream to it before settling into a chair and luxuriating in the smell of coming out of the cup.
I opened up a Word document and tried to get my mind right. All I could think about was that last night with Bennett and then the article that ruined everything. I knew if I was going to write this thing that I had to be professional and keep my emotions out of it. This wasn't an article I was writing about my boyfriend or a guy I was dating. I was writing about a baseball player with talent who wanted to go pro.
I did some quick research on the game since I wasn't there. It was no big surprise to find out that Bennett was the shining star that night. The team won the game, of course, and it had a lot to do with their star pitcher.
I dug into the article and started typing furiously. I was on a mission to write a brilliant article on their victory. I would show all the people who had read the last article that I was clearly so unfazed, I was willing to write my own piece on the team and Bennett Thomas. I removed myself from the article and kept my emotions out of it. This was about Bennett and the talent he had as a pitcher. It had nothing to do with me or us or what would happen between us in the future. This was him and his team and the fact that they were making a name for themselves in baseball. He was a god when he went out onto that pitcher's mound and he stayed that way all through his game. I wrote about his talent and where his passion for the game came from. I wrote about what it was like for him to be on the field and then I went through every aspect of the game and what the players did to become victorious.
I sat back in my seat, two coffees in, and considered getting a third. I still felt like crap, so it was a clear win to get more. I also drank another glass of water to flush last night out of my system. I considered food options as well at that point, as I was getting hungry.
I sat back down with my refilled cup and re-read the article. I made corrections as I went through, but had a hard time focusing. I kept thinking about the night we had stayed together and made love. I longed to be with him and wished that the article had never happened. I wanted to be with Bennett, but I didn't see how I could be.
As I was reading the article, I felt like something was missing from it. It was a pretty great piece, but it needed something more. A quote...I should have a quote from Bennett in it. Dammit! I would have to call him, after all. Would I be able to call him and not discuss our dating situation? The last thing I wanted to do was discuss us, especially the way I was feeling that morning. I didn't even want to talk to him. But if I was going to submit the best article that year, then I needed to get a quote from him.
I went to my bedroom to retrieve my phone and dialled his number as I walked back out to the kitchen.
It rang once and to my surprise he picked up immediately and said hello. It totally took me off guard that I didn't say anything at first.
“Hello? Emmi?” he said again.
“Oh yes, hi, Bennett.”
“Thank God you called back, I was considering calling you again, but I wasn't sure if you were mad at-”
“Look, Bennett, I'm just calling because I need to get a quote from you about last night's game for an article I'm writing for the paper.”
There was a pause and then, “You're writing an article about me and the team?”
“Yes, it
was assigned to me. I didn't really have a choice.”
“Emmi, I wanted to say that I was sorry about that article and that I didn't have anything to do with it.”
“Yes, I heard you say that on the message you left me.”
“Aren't you going to let me explain?”
“Bennett, all I want right now is a quote. I feel terrible and I need to get this submitted. Our relationship or lack thereof should not be discussed over the phone.”
“I understand that, Emmi. I just don't want you to be mad at me for something I didn't do. I would never do anything to hurt you – I hope you know that.”
“Bennett...”
“Okay, okay. I understand. I will give you your quote under one condition.”
“And what's that?”
“You have to agree to see me so that we can talk about this.”
“Seriously?” I sighed.
“I'm afraid so, those are my terms. That is, if you really want a quote for your article.”
“Fantastic. I will see you then. Text me your quote.” I hung up the phone before he could say anything else.
I waited watching my phone for a response. Finally one came in with the quote, “My team and I have a great passion for what we do day in and day out. We love the game and we are going all the way to the top!”
I took a deep breath and added the quote to my story. I cleaned it up a bit and then sent it over to my editor.
Once that was complete, I headed off to the shower.
Chapter Six
I was on my way to see my editor, who had requested a meeting with me. I wasn't sure what it could be about, but I wasn't anticipating any trouble. It had been a week since the article on Bennett and I had gone to print and I had already spoken with the editor about it.
After my massive hangover day from my night out with Connie had lifted, I had gone in to speak with my editor. It turned out that she was outraged that the article had not been properly researched. She apologized for having accepted it in the first place, but had to since it was news and she couldn't hide it just because I was a writer for the paper.
She did, however, bring in Rebecca to discuss a punishment for her lack of research. I confronted her and she immediately apologized and explained that Candace seemed to have the inside scoop and was confident that I had been used by Bennett. The deadline was short and she had no time to confirm her sources information. Rebecca offered to do a retraction, but I immediately dismissed the idea. I was not interested in seeing my name in print regarding that issue again, whether it was a retraction or not.
When it came down to it, the editor decided to suspend Rebecca for a month. She could continue to write for the paper, but she would only be assigned fluff pieces until her punishment was over. If she failed to do proper research again on a future piece, she would be immediately fired. Rebecca had left sullen and I had felt better about the future of the paper. Not just in regards to me, but it was important to me to write for a paper that had integrity.
The best part of my week, however, had been the realization that not too many people even remembered the article that was written. Things pretty much went back to the way they were and no one brought it up again. That was media after all – there was always fresh news to distract people. I couldn't have been happier, although I felt ill every time I thought about it; at least it seemed to be a thing of the past when it came to everyone else. It certainly had caused a stir in the city and especially on the college campus, but it had been short lived. Not once did anyone say anything to me and even the weird looks disappeared. I was starting to feel normal again. The best part was that I hadn't heard from my father at all, which meant that he had either never heard of the article or thought it was just too ridiculous to warrant attention. Either way, it was good news for me.
Now that things were returning to normal, I felt a little bit better about seeing Bennett. Not that I wanted to jump back into anything, but the stress of it was gone. I wouldn’t have to worry about drama surrounding the fact that we were going to talk. I was sure he would be just as relieved as I was that it that gossip had all but disappeared.
I had no interest in continuing dating Bennett, though. The article had just been a little too much for me to take. I needed him to understand that it had nothing to do with truth and lies, I was just tired and the drama had been more than enough for me to take. I wanted a normal existence and considering my career, I didn't want to be in the limelight over my dating life. It just wasn't worth it for me. The relationship just wasn't going to happen. But even though the relationship wasn't going to happen, at least we could end things on good terms. There was obviously still a chance that Bennett would be working with my father and I didn't want things to be weird between us. So now that the drama was over, it was best to get a friendship started and get on good terms for the future. My father would be very upset if he hired Bennett and then found out that we weren't speaking.
I walked into the building that was home to the paper. As soon as I went in there, I saw Rebecca looking miserable at her desk. I had been reading a few of her pieces that week about local stuff and if I was her, I would have been just as miserable.
I went straight into my editor's office; she was sitting behind her desk typing away.
“Hey, how's it going?”
She looked up from what she was doing and smiled at me. “Emmi, hi, thanks for coming in on such short notice.”
“No problem, what's up?”
“I just wanted to let you know how impressed I have been with your sports articles this week. Really, really impressed.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Well thank you.” I was completely caught by surprise. I didn't have any idea that my articles were causing such a buzz.
“I have been receiving phone calls all week about them. You should be very pleased with yourself. I even had one of the city papers call me asking for more information about this great writer I have on staff.”
I laughed. “You're kidding me?”
“Absolutely not, like I said I have been very happy with your work lately and I think that you will have a strong career in broadcasting.”
“Wow, I don't know what to say. That's awesome, thank you.”
“You're very welcome, you deserve it – especially after what you have gone through this week.”
“Oh, I'm just glad that's over with.”
“I hope it didn't ruin things between you and Bennett.” She was looking at me curiously.
“I haven't seen Bennett since due to his gaming schedule, but to be honest I have no idea if I want to continue dating him.”
“Well, that's certainly a shame.”
I just nodded and waited.
“That's it, that's all I wanted to tell you. Keep up the good work, Emmi, and you will certainly go places.”
I smiled and thanked her again before heading out of the office.
As I was making my way to my car, my phone went off. I had a text message from Bennett telling me he was in town and on his way to see me.
Chapter Seven
When I heard a knock on the door, my heart started slamming in my chest. Well this was it, I was going to see him and I wasn't sure what I wanted to say – if anything. I knew that he wanted to continue dating, but I obviously thought that was a terrible idea. I didn't know how I was going to convince him otherwise, but I was willing to try.
I opened the door and there he stood – red roses in his hand. I sighed deeply; well this wasn't going to be easy at all.
“Emmi, hi.”
He came in and kissed me on the cheek. He held the roses out for me, and I was still breathless from the cheek kiss. How could a simple sweet kiss have such an effect on me? I was being silly.
I took the flowers into the kitchen to find a vase. He followed me in and sat down at the kitchen table. He looked so comfortable there.
“Would you like some coffee?” I asked as I cut the stems off the flowers and placed them in a vase full of wat
er.
“Sure, I would love some. Just black, thanks.”
“Oh wow, that's a vice you must have to get used to.”
He laughed. “It's not as bad as you think and you definitely get used to it.”
I laughed. I couldn't help feeling a strong attraction to Bennett – just being around him made me feel that much more attracted. He was like a magnet, pulling me in whenever he was near. I badly wanted to take his face in my hands and kiss him hard. I had to keep it together, however, because of the decision I had made. There was no point in trying to confuse things – and kissing Bennett would do just that. I didn't want to even feel this way; I wanted to fell so much less attraction to Bennett than I did. The attraction just complicated things in a major way. I wanted to move on and end things on a good note and the attraction was confusing my feelings.
I began brewing some coffee and sat down while I waited for it to be ready.
He was looking at me earnestly with a touch of sadness.
“I'm sorry, Emmi.”
“For what?”
“For the article, of course.”
“Well, as you stated, you had nothing to do with it, so what would you be sorry for?”