Prayer for the Dead (Revenants in Purgatory)

by Nicki Scalise

  “Promise me. Promise me, you’ll stay away from him.”

  “No, look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” he opened his mouth to interrupt me, but I held a hand up, “but this conversation stops here. I can take care of myself without having to make ridiculous promises to you.”

  We were teetering on the edge of our very first serious argument. I didn’t think he was being completely fair. Yes, some mistakes were made and I regretted it had anything to do with Katarina being hurt, even with as much as I disliked her, but I couldn’t change the past. It was also sweet that he was trying to protect me, but I wasn’t made of glass.

  “I don’t think you know what you’re getting into.”

  “Seriously, enough.”

  “Fine, just go ahead and make the worst decision of your life, but don’t say I didn’t try to warn you.”

  Damn, he was being extremely harsh, if not childish. I tried to make it reasonably known that the topic was no longer up for discussion, but he didn’t seem ready to leave it alone. As such, I didn’t know why I was still standing there talking about it, but I was about to remedy that situation.

  “You should head back to the party because we’re done talking here. Thanks for coming to check on me.”

  Neither of us said anything more and I finally made it into my building without any further delays. Once I was in my apartment, I changed out of my party dress and kicked off the heels from hell. I flopped down in the living room with every intention of keeping my mind off what had just gone down with Devon and enjoy a quiet apartment to myself for a little while, but that was not what happened.

  I sat motionless with the remote control in hand, staring at the silent television, my image reflecting back at me from the black screen. I replayed the conversation over and over again, his voice echoing through my thoughts, with one key element repeating on a loop. You’re going to get hurt.

  Tore expressed the same concerns, word for word, the night I met Drake. What did they know that I didn’t? Wasn’t heartache and rejection a risk with any relationship, if not a certainty with most? Then why were they so concerned about it this time? It was as if each of them spoke with absolute conviction. Tore warned me without knowing Drake, so I could easily write that instance off as a case of an overly protective big brother, rather than something against Drake personally.

  Devon, on the other hand, knew Drake and gave the same warning, but more forcefully. Maybe being witness to my meltdown after the one-night stand, Devon’s concern came from a place of experience. Sure, I had been hurt then, but those were different circumstances. Drake made a mistake and apologized. Devon didn’t know that though. Maybe if I had given him all the facts, he’d feel differently.

  Yet, I couldn’t shake the feeling there was something underlying Tore and Devon weren’t telling me. Even if that were the case, warnings aside, it mattered very little. I knew my heart. I wanted to be with Drake and I was willing to risk some possible heartbreak to do it.

  I fell asleep with the warning circling my head, but I dreamt of Drake. It was just the two of us in an all-black room, gently lit, as if we were actors on a stage. He walked towards me, carrying a glass heart in both hands. A heart, I somehow recognized, as my own. He took care with every step, making sure each foot was steady before moving the next. His eyes were focused, never leaving sight of the precious parcel in his hands. Although taking his time, I could see, as he drew nearer, my heart started to glow, lighting his face in a beautiful, soft red light. Before he could complete the journey to me, Devon and Tore appeared on either side of him.

  They fervently warned him to be careful—that the heart was fragile. The stress clearly showed on Drake’s face as they continued to berate him. I tried to call them off, but my words were carried off by the wind, dying before reaching their ears. Without warning, Drake’s footing failed and the heart flew from his hands. Time seemed to slow down and speed up all in the same instant. We all watched helplessly as my heart fell to the floor, shattering into a million tiny, red fragments. We all stared at the pieces in silence, until I raised my eyes to meet Drake’s. There was immense regret and apology there, but it wasn’t enough. I shattered as my heart had. Those fragments turned to ash and blew away on the breeze.

  Chapter 15

  I woke the next morning, feeling very unrested. My nightmare caused me to toss and turn the rest of the night. As tired as I was, it did nothing to dampen my spirits from seeing Drake again. I was all smiley, the birds were singing, the sun was shining, and there were rainbows in the sky. I was a princess in a frickin’ Disney movie. If there had been woodland creatures nearby, we would have sung a little melody together.

  I spent most of the morning doing my weekly chores. I hummed to myself as I went along, partially because I was in a great mood, but I also didn’t want to allow my mind to wander to the conversation with Devon. I was going to be in a good mood that day, damn it. Everyone and everything else could kiss my ass. I was fairly sure a Disney princess shouldn’t say something like that, but they shouldn’t find themselves lusting after Grim Reapers either.

  My cleaning routine sucked up the better part of the day and it was late afternoon before I showered. I didn’t really have anything else to do afterwards so I pulled a book from the shelf, settling into the corner of the couch. I had no more than opened the front cover when my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize, but I answered anyway.

  “Olivia?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Hey, it’s Drake.”

  “Oh, hey.” My voice came out a little high pitched and strangled, as I was trying to hold my breath and speak at the same time.

  “Are you all right? You sound kinda weird.”

  I cleared my throat and tried to recover. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just had a frog in my throat was all. What’s up?”

  “Not a whole lot. I was calling to see if you were busy today and, if not, maybe we could go hang out?”

  I had to clear my throat again, just to be sure my calm response wasn’t betrayed by ecstatic enthusiasm in my voice. “Nah, I’m not busy. What’d you have in mind?”

  “It’s a nice day, so I thought maybe we could head over to the park, play some Frisbee, maybe even get crazy and rent a paddleboat.”

  Physical outdoor activity, an interesting choice for a first date, but I could roll with it. I’d just have to apply a copious amount of sunscreen to protect my pasty skin, but otherwise it sounded fun. We made plans to meet on the north side of the park, near the entrance, in an hour.

  I jumped off the couch, spilling the poor book onto the floor, bending its cover a bit. I picked it up and apologized before setting it back down on the coffee table.

  Tore sat in our office, at his computer, when I emerged from my room in an outfit that I hoped made me look irresistible, without trying too hard. He’d been oddly quiet all day, if not a little tense towards me, so I tried to scurry past the open door with hopes he wouldn’t notice.

  “Hey, Olivia?” His voice followed me down the hall.

  I stopped in mid-stride, scrunching my face up tight. ”Yeah?”

  “You want to come back this way?”

  I wasn’t in the mood for another confrontation after the thing with Devon, but I was worried that was straight where things were headed. I slowly backed up and poked my head through the door, “What’s up, bro?” I asked, trying to be casual and instead coming off totally guilty. Of what, I had no idea, but I’m sure it was something.

  “I was about to ask you the same thing. You heading out?”

  “Yep.”

  “Oh really, with whom?”

  For whatever reason, at the heart of it, it was the question I hoped to avoid. After my little tiff with Devon, I wasn’t overly enthusiastic to broach the subject again, especially with Tore. But it didn’t look like I had much choice unless I flat out lied to his face. Which was very tempting, but I figured if I was going to be dating Drake, I didn’t want to do it sneaking behind T
ore’s back. So, he was either going to have to accept it or suck it.

  “I’m going to the park with Drake.”

  “Drake?” he asked, with brows raised. “Drake, the Reaper?”

  “That would be the one.”

  “Hmm...” He pursed his lips and turned his back on me. “I thought Devon talked to you about this?”

  Aaaannd, here we go again.

  I took a deep breath, so I didn’t explode and spew my Devon anger all over my brother. I never thought it was possible to be so pissed at my best friend. He didn’t get his way, so he went behind my back and tattled to my brother. I was going to have a word or two with him... when I finally forgave him... at the end of the century.

  “We didn’t discuss it—we argued about it. Please stay out of it and respect my privacy. I am an adult and can handle myself.” Jesus, why did I have to keep explaining that?

  “Fine, whatever.” He huffed, but then, in typical Tore fashion, he had to cap the discussion off with a smart-ass remark, “Just so you’re aware, I hear those reapers are infused with demon essence and you know what they say about demons?” I raised my brows and he continued, much to my dismay, “They eat babies.”

  I flipped him off and, without another word, left to catch the train uptown.

  I arrived before Drake and felt a bit self-conscious standing around waiting, so I hopped up on the brick half-wall to play Angry Birds on my phone while I waited. I must have been concentrating a little bit too hard on killing those damn laughing pigs, because I hadn’t noticed he was behind me, peering over my shoulder.

  “If you use a boomerang bird, you can knock that beam out of the way.”

  I nearly jumped out of my skin, letting out a little squeak. “Holy hell! Stealthy much?”

  “Sorry,” he laughed “You were just so into your game. I didn’t want to break your concentration.”

  I spun around to face him, stuffing the phone down in my pocket. I moved to jump off the wall, but he gripped my waist and lifted me down. We strolled around the park for a while before we found a patch of grass big enough to play Frisbee. However, when we finally did, what we did with that Frisbee was anything but play.

  Neither of us were very good at throwing or catching. We spent most of the time watching the thing go rolling across the ground or flying wildly off to one side or another. I think it was safe to say, neither of us was a jock in high school. One of the few times I had the thing flying straight, when I was sure there was no way he could miss it, a border collie came out of nowhere and snatched the thing right out of the air.

  Drake and I gawked at each other in amazement as the owner came running, yelling for his dog, Jake, to stop. He apologized repeatedly and we spent the next twenty minutes chasing the dog, trying to get it back. The sweet little pup thought it was just a game, letting us get within inches before taking off through the park again. I have to admit, I had just as much fun chasing that little dog as I did “playing” Frisbee. When we were finally able to catch him, Drake decided the little guy had earned the toy and let him keep it. We watched as Jake pranced away with his head held high, tail wagging, and his awesome new prize in his mouth. Drake earned some serious swoon points with that gesture.

  We moved onto the paddleboats, where we were a better team, but not by much. We were fine as long as we continued on a straight path, but when it came time to turn, to say we were uncoordinated would’ve been a ginormous understatement. At one point, we ended up stuck in the reeds at the edge of the lake, both of us laughing so hard that we couldn’t even communicate on how to get out of the “predicament”. Somehow, through gasps for breath, we managed to turn around and paddle back to the safety of the dock.

  With our Frisbee gone and our paddleboat skills seriously lacking, we figured we were done being outdoorsy and discussed going to get something to eat. Drake let me choose and I picked my favorite little hole-in-the-wall Greek restaurant. We walked there, but when we arrived, he stood in front of the place, wearing a very hesitant look. I grabbed his hand and dragged him inside.

  When our food arrived at the table, worry hung in his eyes. I winged my eyebrows up at him, a silent dare to try it. He slowly lifted the gyro sandwich to his mouth, taking his first bite. His eyes grew wide as he chewed.

  “See? What did I tell ya? Stick with me, kid. I won’t lead you astray,” I said, while shoving my own sandwich in my mouth. The second bite he took slowly, closing his eyes, and savored it. He appreciated every last bite before wiping his mouth with a napkin.

  “How in the hell have you been around for a hundred years and never had a gyro sandwich before?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll have to plead ignorance, I guess.” He took a swig off his soda and then reached across the table, grabbing my hand and bringing it to his lips. He gave my hand a very quick, little kiss and then set it gently back down. “Thank you.”

  He smiled and I damn near melted into a puddle of goo. Who knew that introducing a guy to Greek food would turn him into a complete romantic? I made a mental note to file that one away for possible future use.

  We were both fairly tired after our large meal and the day’s activities, so we walked back to my apartment. By the time we were a block away, we were both suppressing yawns. However, when we reached the front door of my building, a jolt from my nerves woke me right up. The day was ending and I wasn’t sure what would happen next. I had fun and he seemed to as well, but now what? Would we just kiss or was he expecting an invitation upstairs? I wanted to invite him up, but I wasn’t sure if that would be the best idea, if Tore was still home.

  Before I really considered whether I wanted to tell my brother to fuck off for the second time that day, Drake answered all the questions I had running through my head, as he embraced me... in a friendly hug.

  “I had a great time today,” he said.

  “Thanks, I did too.”

  I hugged him in return, expecting something more for a goodbye, but he released me and walked to the curb to hail a cab. When one rolled up, he climbed in and gave a quick wave. I watched the cab cruise down the street and hang a left at the first traffic light. And, just like that, Drake was gone.

  What the hell? Did I miss something or say something wrong? I replayed the whole day over in my head as I climbed the stairs to my apartment. I couldn’t find a damn thing though. I walked into the apartment, having retraced the whole day back to his original phone call, and that’s when it hit me.

  He asked me if I wanted to go hang out, not go out on a date but go hang out. That’s what friends do. Son of a bitch! None of that made sense though, after all the kissing and things he said to me the night before. No, I missed something or was reading too much into his “friendly” goodbye.

  But as it turned out, this became the norm for the next five weeks. He’d ask me to “hang out” and we’d go do things that were on that weird border of date vs. hanging out, like putt-putt golf or going to the movies. We spent every weekend together and even some weekdays too. From time to time, when we were together, he’d hold my hand or put an arm around me. I’d start to think, okay, maybe now we’re getting somewhere, but the night would always end the same, with absolute bupkis. These tiny mixed signals would cause me to come home and over-analyze every minute we’d spend together. It became exhausting, because I was always beating myself up trying to figure out what I was doing wrong.

  And, just when I thought I couldn’t feel any crappier about the situation, came the night he cancelled on me. We had made plans to catch an early movie, but an hour before we were supposed to meet, he called to say he couldn’t make it. No explanation as to why, just a “catch ya next time”. At that point, I thought it was fairly obvious what had happened. He had changed his mind about me and I was in the goddamn friend zone.

  Chapter 16

  The following day, after Drake cancelled on me, I bumbled through work in a grumpy mood, dreading that evening. We had spent the previous five Friday nights together but,
after his cancelation, he never mentioned anything about rescheduling or even if he’d call again. I made it home from work by four-thirty and, by five, I was debating whether it was too early to microwave myself some dinner. I felt it was a safe assumption that I was in for the night, for the second time in a row. I was in full-on Eeyore mode and feeling sorry for myself, at that point.

  I peered into the deep, dark cold of the freezer, debating my high-sodium, high-fat content choices of entrees, when the doorbell rang. I slammed the freezer door but, before I made it out of the kitchen, the door flew open and hurricane Portia blew into my apartment. She had a large bag hitched over her shoulder and was carrying a black garment bag.

  “Hello, doll face.”

  She lifted the garment bag over her head with one hand and took mine in the other. Without another word, she pulled me down the hall towards my room. I tried to resist, but was thwarted by my smooth socks sliding along the wood floor. The hall was great when you wanted to act out the famous scene from Risky Business, but not so much when you’re being dragged against your will.

  “Portia, what are you doing?” She didn’t answer, but merely continued to slide me down the hall. “Hey, Portia! Hello?”

  I wrenched my hand free of her grip, stopping us in our tracks. She reached back to grab ahold of me once again, but I dodged out of the way, pulling my hands up close to my body. I backed up a few feet, causing her to huff and, again, reach out to take my hand.

  “Stop!”

  Her hand dropped and her brows rose. “Hammer time?”

  I dropped my hands to my hips. “No smart ass, not hammer time. What the hell are you doing?”

  “I’m here to get you ready for your romantic rendezvous, Vivian.”

  “What romantic rendezvous and who the hell is Vivian?”

  “You know, Julia Roberts’ character. Pretty Woman?”

  “Okay, I get that part, but the rendezvous?”

  “Follow me and all shall be revealed soon.” She flourished her words with a wave of her free hand and turned back down the hall, towards my bedroom. I knew I could either stand in the hall bewildered, or follow her to see what adventures she had in store for me.