My Once in a Lifetime

by Nicole Vidal

  “No, you didn’t. There are two bottles in your wine rack at your townhouse.”

  I smile, leveling my gaze to his.

  “We should get moving. After I meet with the team, I’ll give you a proper tour of the property if you don’t mind walking in the snow.”

  “Okay.”

  He moves to leave but stops when I call him.

  “Jacob.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Thank you. For so many things, most of which I can’t list right now.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  Chapter 30

  Jacob

  The meeting with my team went well. Even Maia was up to joining us. Blaine is searching for the first mention of the ledger. Connor will work to find who has been tracking Norah and when they started. Christoph is headed out to LA for an assignment escorting Miss Forrester to an event. At the end of the meeting, Norah brought Maia over into the living room. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but by the end they were hugging, so I gather it went well. Before we set out for our walk, Norah calls her sister Kelly. She was quick in sharing that she’s fine and would call again when she could.

  Near one, we walk side by side along the driveway. Tank runs circles around us, every now and then our fingers graze one another. As much as I want to take her hand and share my home with her, I need to lay everything out. As we pass each building, I explain what’s inside.

  “How long did it take you to refurbish the house? Did you do all the work yourself? It’s perfect. The bathroom is spa worthy.”

  I smile. Out of all the rooms, the master bath is the one I’m most proud of.

  “About two years. I did all the work myself. It helped me to have something to do after my last tour while I was building Blackthorne during the day.” I have never admitted that to anyone other than Connor.

  “It’s gorgeous. You should be proud.”

  “Thanks. Let’s sit.” I pull a blanket out of the bag and lay it on the ground on the edge of the shoreline. There’s barely any snow cover on the sand. I sit facing Norah, her legs bent over mine. Our fingers intertwined between us.

  “You don’t have to tell me. I just need to know if you don’t want me, a relationship, or a marriage. Even though I promised you and myself I wouldn’t fall for you, I did. I want to be with you, even if it’s just for now. When it’s safe for me to be on my own again, I’ll leave. When I do, we will be over.”

  She’s everything I don’t deserve. “I want to tell you. I need to tell you. After talking with my father, I realized that we’re already in a relationship, just not the kind either of us deserve, especially you.”

  Her eyes soften a bit. I watch her throat move as she swallows hard.

  “Connor’s mother, Joyce, is a social worker, my social worker. She facilitated my adoption and my siblings’. Connor was my first true friend. Mara, Connor’s twin sister was always around. There was no mistaking they were twins. Both have light features and light blue eyes. Both tall too. The three of us spent hours at the pond, running roughshod all over the Michelsons’ property and hours upon hours in their tree house.”

  Her eyes widen at the mention of the tree house, but I press on.

  “Mara and I began dating when we were juniors in high school. I even asked Connor for his blessing. The three of us were inseparable.” My grip on her hand tightens slightly as I continue.

  “During Christmas break of my junior year of college, I proposed to Mara. We got married a week after we graduated. Even though my parents have a stable marriage, I didn’t think I would ever find someone to love me like that. Mara never cared about where I came from, my biological parents, or my adoption. She loved me for me.” I wish I could read Norah’s mind. Her poker face is phenomenal. I would expect a myriad of emotions and questions running through her mind right now. I cast my gaze out to the water before I continue speaking. “During my second tour….”

  Norah reaches over and turns my eyes to hers.

  “I couldn’t protect her. I failed her, and she died.”

  “How did she die?”

  I have never said any of these words out loud to anyone ever before. My hands are shaking in Norah’s, causing her to tighten her grip. “During a seizure, she hit her head on the corner of her desk in her classroom. She didn’t make it to the hospital.”

  “Breathe, Jacob.”

  Closing my eyes, I take a few deep breaths.

  “Why do you blame yourself?”

  “I wasn’t here. I couldn’t protect her.” A tear falls down my cheek.

  Inexplicably, Norah leans forward, kissing it away. “If you were here, would you have been in her classroom?”

  She’s the only person who ever asked me that. The first person to point out the disconnect in my logic. I suppose it isn’t logic. Either way, my heart was ripped out of my chest. My wife was gone, and I couldn’t stop it.

  “No.”

  “Does Connor blame you? Do Mr. and Mrs. Michelson?”

  “No, they don’t.”

  “You sent me with Connor yesterday because I make you lose focus.”

  “Partially.” I take a deep breath. “I sent you with Connor because he knows firsthand what it would do to me to fail you. You are the only woman who has ever made me question if I deserve a second chance to be blissfully happy in love. You have awakened parts of my heart and soul that I buried six years ago. I gave my whole heart to Mara, and I promised to love her until death do us part. I wasn’t prepared for it to be so short. I didn’t think I could love another woman as completely as I did Mara. You deserve my whole heart. I don’t know if I possess it in its entirety anymore to give it to you.”

  “Oh, Jacob. You should honor her memory, not run from it. She was loved during her life. You gave that to her.”

  Her words cut through me. Not one shred of angst, jealously, or hurt lace her words. She’s truly a gift—a gift I’m not sure I deserve.

  “What are you afraid of?”

  “Feeling pain of that magnitude again,” I answer honestly.

  “Is it worth forgoing all the bliss that comes with sharing your life with someone? The joy of little everyday things. Inside jokes and watching your children reach milestones.”

  I never considered having a family. It was a topic Mara and I never discussed. “No one gets once-in-a-lifetime love twice.”

  She leans forward, brushing her lips across mine.

  As I open my eyes, Norah whispers, “Maybe you were her once-in-a-lifetime love. What if I’m yours?”

  For a solid minute, I let her words settle in my head and in my heart. I fulfilled my promise to Mara. Could I give the same thing to Norah?

  “Norah, I—”

  She sets her index finger on my lips. “Figure out what you want. What you deserve. Forgive yourself for something you had no control over. Think of all the people you have protected since then—including me.” Norah rises from the blanket and walks back toward the house. Her words sit on my chest like an elephant, making it hard to breathe.

  Chapter 31

  Norah

  As I walk away from Jacob, my heart breaks for him and for me. I can’t make him forgive himself. I’m unsure what he thought about losing his wife I would find reprehensible. I guess my extraordinary sex partner now has an expiration date. I expedited that all on my own. Great job, Norah!

  I’m steps away from locking myself in his guest room to pull myself together. Just three steps from his idyllic front porch.

  “Norah, wait,” Jacob calls from behind me.

  I stop but don’t turn to face him. His arm rests on my waist as he makes me look at him.

  “What changed?” he asks.

  “Me. You. Us. I had everything I thought I wanted until a few weeks ago. The dream job, a roof over my head, a few luxuries, and you. Since my text, everything has changed. The dream job I have worked my ass off for over six years is gone, my home trashed, and you…how you touch me, how you kiss me, has changed. Maybe I’m imaginin
g it. That’s fine—”

  Jacob claims my mouth with his. His possessive, toe-curling kisses take hold of my entire body. Heat rushes to my core as I wrestle with the thoughts in my head. Just feel, Norah. You don’t know how much longer you have with him.

  Wrapping his arm around my waist, Jacob twists the knob, pushing his front door open. After Tank scurries inside, Jacob sets my back against the wall and arms the alarm system. Without breaking our kiss, he unzips the parka and hangs it on the hook near the door. As I draw the zipper on his jacket down, he toes off his boots. His lips sucking southward on my neck as I hang his jacket up next to mine.

  Jacob grips my hips with his large hands, lifting me. I wrap my legs around his waist, hooking my ankles. He takes a few large strides and sets me on the edge of the island. As I work the buttons of his shirt, he stares at me hungrily. When I reach the last button, Jacob grabs my wrists in one hand, lengthening them to the ceiling. With his free hand, he tears my shirt up and off.

  “So sexy,” he murmurs against my skin at my lingerie.

  This set is a sheer red with crisscrossing straps, each with a button. If unfastened, each button will expose my nipples. Generally, he just strips me naked as quickly as possible. Today’s slow exploration is different. Feels more intimate. I push that thought away as Jacob nips my nipple through my bra. The material against my taut pebble combined with his teeth is decadent. Holy hell that feels good!

  Releasing my wrists, he unfastens the clasp of my bra, pulling it away between us. I dip my hands beneath the collar of his shirt, pushing it down his corded arms. Palming both breasts, Jacob lowers his mouth to my collarbone, then down the valley between them, dragging his tongue along the underside of my breast while pinching my nipple between his finger and thumb. He follows my rib cage and down to the dip of my waist. I struggle to keep still as he nears one of the spots on my body that makes me squirm. A spot only he knows exists. One that will turn me into pliable clay in his capable hands.

  Fumbling with the snap of my jeans, he pops it open, drawing the fly down. Grasping the waistband, he attempts to expose more skin to his mouth. Frustrated he can’t do it here, he pulls me off the island and sets me on the floor. I grab his wrist and undo the button there, repeating with the other arm. He lets the tailored shirt fall behind him. I set my hands on his sculpted chest, digging the tips of my fingernails into his skin and drawing downward.

  “Norah,” he growls, falling to his knees before me. Over the last two years, I have learned things that make him squirm too. Without finesse, Jacob tugs my jeans over my hips. Lifting each foot, he pulls the leg off, casting my jeans aside. I look down at him at the same time he gazes up. The hunger in his eyes is more palpable than I’ve ever seen before. Tearing his gaze away, he drags the side of my thong down my hip and presses his mouth just inside the point of my hip, followed by a stroke of his tongue. Chills rise beneath my skin.

  “Jacob, again.”

  I feel his mouth curve upward into a grin before he draws his tongue along my hip once more. Except this time, he continues down the front of my thigh, pulling my thong off ever so slowly. When it reaches my toes, I step to the side. Rocking back on his heels, Jacob stands before me.

  “Tank, halten garde.”

  Taking my hand, he leads me down the hall. Most of our clothes are scattered near the kitchen island on the floor. He pauses at the threshold into his room. While I wait for him to continue forward, reaching around him, I unsnap his jeans, unzip his fly, and push his jeans and boxer briefs to the hardwood. Sliding my hands along the front of his powerful legs, I draw the tip of one fingernail along each side of his shaft before settling my hands flat against his chest. All my curves press against his back.

  Turning to face me, Jacob leads me to the chair near the fireplace in his room. After sitting, he slides his hands beneath my knees, pulling me forward on the seat. His blue eyes stare straight into mine. Starting at my toes, Jacob kisses a path up my leg with excruciatingly slow precision to the inside of my left thigh. Inch by inch, his mouth moves closer to my core. Pushing outward, he lifts my left thigh, setting it atop his right shoulder. My nerves are wound so tightly that the first touch of the tip of his tongue sends spikes of pleasure straight through me. He drags the flat of his tongue from my pucker to my clit, followed immediately by his finger. Him repeating this in reverse order a few times has me on the verge of splintering. The moment he spreads my folds and spears me with his tongue, I convulse against him. He presses his splayed hand on my lower abdomen to prevent me from squirming away.

  “Let go, gorgeous.”

  My orgasm rips through me, the intensity harder this time. There is no reason other than I shared my feelings with him. Before I have the chance to recover, Jacob turns me away from him, placing my feet on the floor. Immediately, his fingers enter my core and tease my nub. I’m dripping with arousal as Jacob withdraws his fingers, filling me fully with his shaft from behind. Threading my fingers over his, we rub my nub in a tantalizing rhythm. He glides his hand from beneath mine, sliding it over my hip and the curve of my ass, resting his fingers against my anus. I continue circling the sensitive bud with my thumb.

  “Norah?”

  “Yes, fill me completely.”

  With my words, Jacob pushes forward with his index finger. The feeling of him buried deep inside me to the hilt and filling my ass is intense. The fullness is beyond anything I’ve ever felt before. He has penetrated my ass before, just not at the same time as his hard length is deep inside me. I feel the rush of a hard orgasm building at the base of my spine.

  Jacob thrusts into me harder than ever before. My inner walls tighten around him as my orgasm spirals. His fingers dig into the flesh on my hip as his release mounts. His finger and shaft move in unison as we explode together. After a few shallow thrusts, he gently withdraws, gathering me against his chest before carrying me to his bed.

  I refuse to let the possibility that we’re going to be over soon cloud what we just shared. The list of men with whom I have shared myself completely is miniscule. It contains only one name—Jacob Blackthorne. I wasn’t a virgin when we got together, but no one has ever given me pleasure like him. I promised to give him time for whatever he needs to sort out. However, as soon as I no longer need his professional services, I could very well be alone with a crushed heart and walking away from the most spectacular lover I have ever had.

  Chapter 32

  Jacob

  Honesty is the best policy, right? Right. If I’m being honest with myself, sex with anyone else, though it’s a brief list, never felt like it does with Norah. Not even Mara. I’m sure there is something twisted comparing my sexual partners, but it matters. It matters that my connection with Norah, both sexual and otherwise, is different than Mara.

  Sliding her soft, long tresses over her shoulder, I press my mouth to her bare skin. A satiated sigh falls from her pouty lips. I continue pressing kisses down her spine while massaging her breast, plucking her nipple, as she rocks against my hardening length.

  Twisting, Norah cranes her neck to kiss me. I climb over her, settling between her creamy thighs. As my gaze settles on hers, I see the emotion written all over her face. Lowering my mouth to her toned belly, I kiss upward to her lips. Sliding my hand around her neck, I ravage her mouth, tasting her with a desperation that I have only felt for her. She slides her hands down my chest, gripping my shaft tightly.

  “I need you.”

  After aligning us, she drags her hands up to cup my face. After kissing the inside of her hand, I secure her wrists above her head and bury myself into her hot center with one deep thrust. Our eyes remain locked on one another as her walls squeeze and convulse around me.

  The pressure builds as I pump into her harder and faster. A pleasured moan fills the air around us as we explode together. After a few long bursts, I release her wrists and slowly lower myself on top of her. Moments later, I curl my arm around her waist and roll us to our sides.

  There
are likely plenty of appropriate words for me to say in this moment, but they escape me. The shift from taking her on the stairs to now is unmistakable. Her surrender is complete and unequivocal. If I’m honest, mine too.

  I hear my phone ringing faintly from the kitchen.

  “How long until you have to answer that?” she asks, her lips against my heated skin.

  “Not long enough.” I pull back slightly to look at her.

  “Go, you know whoever it is will just call back in ten minutes.”

  “Please stay here.”

  She nods, pulling the soft sheet up as I rise from the edge of the bed. After pulling on some shorts, I pad to the kitchen and release Tank.

  As I lift my phone to check the voice mail, it rings in my hand.

  “Yeah, Blaine.” I listen to Blaine list what he learned and his next steps. Ending the call, I dial Connor.

  “What’s up, Jake?”

  I fill him in on the details from Blaine, and he offers a few more of his own. “Also, are you coming to dinner tomorrow? Our parents are having a joint meal, and we’re all invited, including Cam and Jill.”

  “I want to but don’t think it’s safe to move her unnecessarily.”

  “Have it at your place.”

  It’s a good suggestion.

  “Have you talked to her?” he asks after a brief pause.

  “I told her about Mara. The rest, we need to talk more. Let me ask Norah, and I will let you know.”

  “Listen to you, so domesticated.”

  “Really, C?”

  “Jake, I’m happy for you. I hope it works out. You have spent enough time blaming yourself for something you had no control over. You’re my brother. If Norah makes you happy, you need to hold on to her.”

  “I’ll text you after I talk to her.” I hang up, grab waters, and move back to my bedroom. As I step in, my eyes are treated to a gorgeous sight. Norah is kneeling on my bed—her silky hair falling like a sheet down the small of her smooth back, her perfect ass bare to me, and her front draped in my sheets. Although it’s almost dark, she’s staring out the bay window.