Slim to None
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“I need to call and check on Mama!” Suddenly remembering that she’s home all alone, my heart increasingly pounding with fear.
“There’s no time! We’ve gotta get below ground! Hurry!” Lukas guides me toward the trap door that Sam’s holding open for us in the kitchen floor. On wobbly legs I run, and Lukas and I pretty much dive into the cellar opening, as we hear trees fall and debris being propelled into the massive wooden beams that compose the cabin.
As the door slams shut above us, we hear glass breaking as more windows implode, due to the ever-increasing barometric pressure.
Sam’s lighting oil lanterns and some candles as Lukas and I plop ourselves down onto one of the heavy wooden benches along the walls.
I try to call Mama, but just as I suspected, there’s no signal down here in the cellar. I’m surprised that Mama hasn’t called to see about me. Phone lines are most likely down, and Mama has never felt the need to invest in a cell phone. Says she just doesn’t have time to fool with one.
“I can’t dial out. I hope she’s next door at Miss Shirley’s. She has a root cellar,” I say nervously.
“I’m sure she is,” Lukas says, rubbing my hand between his own.
I’m trembling with fear as we listen to what sounds like the world crashing in around us, and Lukas puts a comforting arm around my shoulders, pulling me gently to rest my head upon his chest. Looking up at his face, I can see that he and Sam are exchanging some worried looks, yet are staying silent in order not to frighten me any further. I hold on tightly to Sam’s beagle, Roscoe, comforting his trembling little self the best that I can.
After what seems like an eternity, we hear the winds reside, as does what I can now tell is the town’s tornado siren.
“I’m gonna go up and take a look,” Sam says, and climbs the ladder, unlocks the cellar door, and peeks his head out. Climbing the rest of the way out, he’s gone for a few minutes, then standing at the top of the cellar entrance, he looks grim.
“It’s not as bad as it sounded - not my place anyway. Looks like the Johnson’s place across the field got more damage. He was just walking around out there, looking for some of his horses that were grazing.”
As Lukas and I climb up and out of the cellar, I am shocked by what I’m seeing. All of the windows in the kitchen, dining room, and from what I expect, probably the entire cabin are demolished. There is a massive tree limb protruding from the ceiling in the hallway leading into the den, blocking any exit from the front of the house. But it is still standing...I’m hoping our house isn’t damaged any more than Sam’s.
As we walk outside via the back door, there is debris everywhere - fallen trees, roof shingles, lawn furniture - both Sam’s and probably belonging to homes from miles away. There are even children’s toys strewn about.
As I wander around, Lukas says, “Be careful, Kassidy. There’s power lines down everywhere.” I nod and decide to heed his warning, standing still near Sam’s truck in the driveway. Thankfully, all of our vehicles are intact, only a little banged up, which is a blessing, because I have to get home now.
“I really need to go see about Mama,” I tell them worriedly. “She’s gotta be scared to death over all this.”
I notice Sam pull Lukas to the side, trying to keep out of earshot of me - it didn’t work. The sirens had stopped, and there was nothing but eerie silence left in its wake.
“Johnson said he heard over the scanner that it’s bad down by Richmond road,” he says darkly, his expression to match.
“That’s where I live! That’s where Mama is!” I’m shrieking and heading for my car, when Lukas runs to stop me.
“Kassidy let us take you! You’re in no condition to be driving right now. Sam and I will drive you.”
He leads me to Sam’s truck and gently helps me in, as Sam is already starting the engine. It roars to life, breaking the silence, as he floors it into reverse, whips it around, and we go bounding out of the driveway.
The rest of the three-mile trek would not be so quick, however, as Sam gingerly maneuvers around tree limbs and branches, narrowly skirting the edge of the ditch on the opposite side of the road in order to avoid a downed power line. As we travel, I am praying silently but fervently until we finally make it to my house...my house - there is no house, nothing but a huge pile of debris and rubble. I jump out of the truck, but not quickly enough, as Lukas grabs me in mid-sprint.
“Mama! Where’s Mama?” I ask, praying she made it to one of the neighbors’ houses. Some were badly damaged, but nothing like this. No, Mama wasn’t at home, I assure myself.
Sam jumps out of the driver’s side, and heads toward what used to be my house.
As he makes his way through the debris, something stops him in his tracks. I watch him as he furiously starts grabbing boards and cinder blocks, throwing them aside. And then I watch him as he clutches his head between his hands, rocking back and forth upon his knees, weeping.
With his back still to us, he yells, “Lukas, don’t you let her come down here!” His voice is brittle, higher pitched, and panic-stricken.
Suddenly the ground feels like it’s pitching beneath my feet, and my knees give way. Lukas catches me, but I’m confused...none of this is registering in my brain - until I hear Sam’s voice, sounding so far away, yet reaching me, penetrating my fragile mind.
“Oh Linda, sweet, precious Linda,” I hear him murmur over and over, between sobs.
“Mama?!! NO! Not my Mama!! Not my Mama!!” I hear somebody scream repeatedly, and it takes me a moment to realize that person is me. Suddenly I’m running, I don’t even know this until I feel Lukas gently tackle me around my waist, bringing me to the ground, holding me, rocking me as I scream and weep hysterically - just like he did before - on that day, so long ago. The day Buck raped me. The day I was stupid enough to think was the worst day of my life...
Chapter Twenty-One
Kassidy
I wake to find myself in what I recognize as Melanie’s room. As I struggle to sit up in bed, I can hear Melanie and her mama speaking in hushed voices. I catch one word in particular - funeral.
“Mama!!” Bits and pieces of the events from last night come flashing back to me, as I scramble to get out from beneath the covers. “Where’s my mama?!”
My eyes dart furtively around the room, and I feel very woozy.
Melanie and her mother, Vivian come rushing over to where I’m searching for my shoes so I can go and find my sweet mama, but I don’t see my shoes, can’t find my shoes, where are my shoes?
“Shhh, it’s gonna be alright, just rest now,” Vivian Shepherd says in her sweet Southern drawl, gently trying to guide me back towards the bed. I try to fight her - I don’t take kindly to being told what to do, but it feels as though my arms and legs are made of jelly, and I plop back down upon the mattress.
I can see Melanie just behind her, one hand over her mouth, quietly sobbing. Miss Vivian turns and whispers to her daughter to please try and compose herself for my sake, before turning back to me. She speaks in a most soothing tone - almost sing-song-ish. She reminds me of that actress who played Patsy Cline in that one movie, but blonde - as her hand gently smooths back my hair from my face.
“There, there, love. You’re safe here with us right now. Dr. Spaulding came by last night to have a look at you. He brought you something to help you relax. That’s what’s making you so tired. Rest a bit more, and we’ll talk when you’re up to it,” she says with a bittersweet half-smile.
As they exit the room, Melanie hangs back just a bit, mouthing the words, ‘I love you,’ before closing the door behind her.
Something surely must be wrong, I think to myself just before darkness claims me once again - Melanie has always been a fairly serious girl, but it hurts me to see her so sad
Chapter Twenty-Two
Lukas
When we returned home last night, I got in contact with Kassidy’s daddy and her mama’s brother Tommy, to break the heart-wrenching news. They would both be c
atching a flight today - Nick and his wife from California, and Tommy from Texas.
Sam and I have done nothing all morning besides drink coffee and sit in silence. I have never seen my buddy so messed up. Finding Miss Linda’s lifeless body has had an effect on Sam that I cannot begin to relate to and am glad not to have to. I cannot even imagine what that does to a person. He has sat staring at the floor of the den - one of the only rooms that sustained minimal damage, being an interior portion of the house. For the most part, Sam seems unaware that I’m even there. Although there’s a hell of a mess that needs to be dealt with inside and out, it’s just stuff - I’m not about to leave him right now. I bring him a refill on his coffee, he nods in appreciation, and that’s how it’s been all morning. I haven’t pressed him for conversation. He’ll talk when he’s ready. It’s really hard to see him like this, though.
And Kassidy...poor, sweet Kassidy. Remembering how lost and broken she was last night makes me cry. Nobody should have to lose anybody they love in such a horrific way - especially not a parent. My heart breaks for her so badly. That girl is never gonna be the same. She was in such a bad way last night that I don’t think she actually realized what was really happening. I got her outta there quickly, and drove her to Melanie’s, before driving Sam back to the cabin. The whole thing just feels like a sickening nightmare, but one that Kassidy will never be able to escape from.
Thankfully, the doc came by the Shepherd home and gave her something to help her sleep. But once she’s forced to face reality, the grief might be too much for her to bear. For a brief moment I considered calling the doc to see about something for Sam, but decided against it. Sam’s a tough guy. He’s gonna be okay...he’s just dealing with this in his own way, and I’ve gotta respect that.
When I get the call from Melanie that Kassidy’s woken up once already, it was something I’ve been dreading. Although she’s gotta find out the truth sooner or later, at least the sedatives are putting off the inevitable for just a little while longer.
“Lukas, I can’t do this,” Melanie says, her voice shaking. “I cannot be the one to shatter my best friend’s world. Mama’s volunteering to do it, but this can’t come from somebody she’s not extremely close to...it just can’t.”
“I’m on my way,” I tell her, hating what I’m volunteering to do. We all hate it. “If she wakes up before I get there, just stall her.”
As I walk into the Shepard home, Melanie is sitting on the sofa, eyes red from crying. Seeing me, she jumps to her feet and hugs me tightly.
“Oh Lukas! This is the most awful day!” Melanie sobs into my shoulder. I cannot even imagine how she’s feeling, being here all day with Kassidy, not knowing what to say or do when she wakes up.
“It’s gonna be okay,” I say softly, trying to soothe her. “Kassidy is one of the strongest people I know. This is gonna push her to the breaking point. She’s gonna fracture, there’s no doubt about that, but she won’t break, no matter how broken she feels when she gets the news. But I’ll be honest with you, I’d rather go into the ring with a Grizzly than to do what I’ve gotta do today.”
I enter Melanie’s room as quietly as I can. Kassidy is still sleeping, looking like an angel, all innocent and full of peace. But I’m about to shatter that peaceful refuge with the most devastating news that anyone could ever hear. I feel sick to my stomach in anticipation of the aftermath of this duty that I hold, but it must be done. Kassidy cannot stay in this perpetual dream-state, not knowing the truth about what happened – it is just too cruel.
As I sit watching her sleep, I realize that I’ve never seen Kassidy’s face fully at rest. She is just so cute and animated when she’s talking, and when I watch her working, she’s intently focused on the task at hand – a fierce look of determination on her face. Now that I think about it, I have never fully realized just how much I watch Kassidy while we’re at work. But that’s a topic for another day. Right now, I’ve got more pressing matters to think about. Lord how I wish that this was just a bad dream.
As Kassidy begins to stir, I take a deep breath, struggling desperately to find the words to say before I have no choice but to say them. The truth is all I can give to her, but I know that it has got to be eased into – not just blurted out all at once. The circumstances are devastating enough without my choice of words emotionally crippling her.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kassidy
As I open my eyes, the first thing I notice is that I’m not in my own bedroom…oh, that’s right. I’m at Melanie’s. So that part wasn’t a dream. This is not so disturbing to me as is the fact that Lukas is sitting by my side. The last time I awoke to his presence, something very bad had just happened – Buck!
I bolt upright in bed, eyes darting around the room. “Where is he?” I ask, my voice sounding muffled and slow, kind of like a record player on the wrong speed. “How did he find me?”
“Kassidy,” Lukas says. “Where’s who? Who are you talking about?”
I look at him like he’s got two heads. “Buck! He’s found me, right? That’s why you’re here, right? To protect me!”
The look on Lukas’ face tells me that something’s going on, and I’m waiting on his words to fill me in completely.
“Kassidy,” he says gently, why does he just keep repeating my name? I know who the hell I am – I just need to know where Buck is!
I jump up outta the bed, shoes be damned – this time I’m getting the hell outta here before it’s too late, and Lukas, Melanie and her mama combined ain’t gonna stop me!
“Whoa, steady now,” Lukas grabs me by the shoulders, which is a good thing, because I quite nearly faceplanted right in front of him. What the heck is making me so groggy, anyway?
“He drugged me! That’s why I feel so wonky, ain’t it? I knew that sneaky bastard would be back, I just knew it! I’ll kill him, I swear to God, Lukas – this time I’ll kill him before I let him hurt me again!”
“Kassidy, I want you to listen to me,” Lukas says, still holding onto my shoulders, and looking me square in my eyes. “Buck ain’t here. I wish he was, I’d crush him into dog food, and everything would be right with the world. But Kassidy, I ain’t here about Buck…it’s worse than that, much worse. Kassidy – this is about your mama.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Lukas
The look on Kassidy’s face is one of anger. Eyeing me suspiciously, I can almost see the wheels turning in her head. Jerking away from me, she walks to the center of the room, before whirling around to confront me. Through narrowed eyes she sizes me up – and one thing that I know for certain, right now, I am the enemy.
“What’s this all about, Lukas? Where’s my mama – oh my God, he’s kidnapped her to get to me! Why didn’t I think about this before? We should’ve had the cops watching the house until Buck was caught! This is all my fault – if I hadn’t embarrassed him in front of everybody that night…if he hurts my mama, I will shoot him dead!” she says as she paces back and forth across the room, basically talking to herself.
I don’t know what to make of all this. I’m not a psychologist by any sense of the word, but I’d say that Kassidy’s mind is in such deep denial about what she saw last night, that she’s created this alternate universe in which Buck is back, and that her mama is still with us. Judging from her frantic behavior, I’m willing to bet that I’m right. The scary thing to me is that I’m not sure if this psychotic break will help cushion the blow of what I’m about to tell her, or if it’ll send her spiraling beyond reason.
“Kassidy…please!” I try again to explain. “Come on now, sit here by me. We need to talk.”
“Who’s out there looking for her? Has Vernon issued a manhunt? What is being done, Lukas? This is my mama we’re talkin’ about! She’s out there scared…no tellin’ what he might do to her…”
Kassidy plops back down on the bed, distraught. Tears flow down her cheeks as she rocks herself back and forth. I know exactly what she’s thinking – that Buck wi
ll rape her mama, and I don’t know if the horror of this scenario that her mind has made up is any better than her knowing the truth. This has got to stop, now, psychology be damned.
Taking her firmly by the shoulders this time, I make eye contact with Kassidy. I can feel her shaking like a leaf, so I just have to rip the bandage off, and fast.
“Kassidy, do you remember the tornado?” Instantly, I see recognition in her eyes. Shaking her head, she jumps to her feet again.
“No,” she says, pacing frantically, wringing her hand. “No, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about. Tornado? Don’t be silly, we were havin’ supper at Sam’s last night…don’t you remember, Lukas? Don’t you remember?”
“We had supper, you’re right, but then the storm came up on us all quick-like…remember? We had to go into the storm cellar?”
Kassidy stops and stares at the floor. “Roscoe,” she says quietly. “Roscoe was down there with us…he was so scared…”
Suddenly and without warning, Kassidy emits a scream that comes from the pit of her soul. She remembers.
“Mama! Mama, oh God no, Mama no, not my Mama! God please no, please!”
Instantly I’m holding her, so tightly that I fear I’ll bruise her, my face in her hair, feeling her shake uncontrollably, and wishing with everything in me that I could take this pain away from her. But I can’t – nothing ever will.
Hearing Kassidy’s scream, Melanie and Vivian burst into the room, Melanie covering her face in her hands, weeping openly.
“Kassidy, I am so sorry, I am so, so sorry,” she sobs. “I love you so much!” Not knowing what else to say, she rushes into her mama’s arms, needing comfort. Her best friend is shattered, and her heart is shattered for her. I know the feeling all too well.
“Lukas, noooo…” Kassidy sobs. “Please don’t let this be real, please! Tell me she’s okay! Tell me!” Kassidy starts pounding me on my chest, her anger overriding her pain, if only for the moment. The phases of grief are all hitting her at once, and who in God’s name can blame her?