by Elias Raven
When we arrived, one of the docents came over and introduced herself asking if we were there for the New Employee introduction. We replied yes and she asked us to wait over to the side while she went to get the director.
I was fidgety and I kind of felt out of place standing among the antiquities. That and everything that we said or did was magnified a thousand-fold in the large space. I had to admit the acoustics were amazing! We only laughed out loud once and when a Japanese tour group turned to look at us, I wanted to hide behind one of the marble columns with the bowls mounted on top, but a gentleman clearing his throat ended that escape route.
“This is Mr. Brooks, our director.” said the docent.
I didn’t know if I should bow or curtsy at that moment, but he stuck his hand out and shook our hands.
“Do you have your letters?” he asked.
We nodded our heads in concert as he took the letters and led us through another beautiful bronze door and into the main library space.
“Damn Sam!” I muttered, which he caught.
“That’s one way of putting it,” he said.
(Then he went for the ice breaker lightening the mood).
“Each of us that work here has had our own experience when we first saw the building and the library. I remember one man was from Texas and he kept whistling every time he saw something amazing and said:
“Well don’t that beat all!” along with other funny sayings from his area of the country.
At that, we all laughed.
“So you see, Damn Sam isn’t quite that bad...” he continued, which made us laugh some more.
“I must say you girls did extraordinary well to get through the hiring process. We get so many applications, but you also were all highly recommended from what I understand from The Central and West Library directors.” he continued.
(I had a feeling that my mother and father had pulled some strings and called in some favors to get our foot in the door. I bet my dad was going to want at least a pound of meat from Frankie’s when we got home today).
“Yes, we’ve done a lot of work for both libraries, especially our undergrad and graduate study courses and field experience.” Kathy chimed in.
“And a lot of our professors were into research and fieldwork and we also majored in classical and renaissance research with key papers that we included in our packets for application,” I added.
“Well, whatever you did, it was brilliant enough to catch my eye as well as the different department heads that oversee our vast collection. You, three ladies, are going to be very busy, I must say.” he continued.
“We can’t wait, sir. It’s been our life’s goal to use our expertise to teach the public and help further our collective knowledge.” Sarah added.
“All are valid points’ ladies. Follow me, we are going to the main vault and I shall take you around to introduce you,” he added smoothly.
We dutifully followed. I must say the staff was a friendly lot, but all of them were experts in their respective fields. My parents had told me that the crème of the crop was hand-picked to work there. It was an honor and a privilege to land a job at The Morgan. Career changing was a great analogy. We were on our best behavior as we met everyone. Our last stop was the HR Department to finalize our contracts for the year. I must say the lady struck me as almost British by the way she dressed and carried herself. It was a very proper look. I wondered if I needed to take some styling cues from her.
I imagined her name was like Lady Penelope Rothschild or some such but had to make do with Ms. Katherine Davies instead. Which come to think of it was rather fitting considering that Mr. Morgan was considered American royalty along with The Rockefellers and Vanderbilt’s. Banking, Oil, Mining, Railroads, Shipping. It was how they had made their fortunes.
Did you ever see the old comedies where they roll out a contract and it unrolls and hits the floor and keeps going all the way out the door? Well, this was almost one of those moments. Between the three of us, we initialed, crossed, signed, and marked off what seemed like a ream of contracts each. When it was done, I realized that was it. We were employees of The Morgan and at any moment Satan would come through a side door laughing saying:
‘You’re all mine! Mine!” and then laugh some more.
Ms. Davies gave us all a warm smile and shook our hands and led us out, pointing to a private cafeteria where the employees could purchase lunch. We were as polite as I’ve ever seen the three of us as we thanked her (praying we stayed on her good side) and walked down the marbled hallway to The Employee Cafeteria.
As we entered, I saw a gentleman in a tweed coat that looked very familiar. We were behind him and he hadn’t seen us yet.
“Oh shit!” I muttered.
Kathy and Sarah followed my gaze and had to bite their tongues so they didn’t laugh. (Care to guess who was eating lunch?) The cafeteria was inordinately quiet (duh, it is a library after all) and we carefully backed out and then stopped when we bumped into a gentleman dressed rather nicely, that of course was The Director of The Morgan.
We turned to face the beast who was just smiling away, happy as a clam. Now, I know how Dory felt in Finding Nemo when she went to the Sharks Anonymous meeting.
“Ah, there you are ladies,” he said.
“I can’t have my newest employees buy lunch for themselves, now can I?” he continued.
“Oh my goodness, that is very kind of you. We weren’t…” I started lamely which made the gentlemen in the tweed coat turn around to see what the noise was.
(Phew, it wasn’t Nicolas, although come to think of it he did bear a striking resemblance to him, but perhaps older. I wondered if this was Mr. Pink Champagne on Ice’s father. My mother would just die if this was the case).
“Dash it all Brooks, must you be so loud here! Can’t a man get some peace and quiet over his meal?” he asked as we passed.
Mr. Brooks laughed and patted his shoulder.
“Ladies, this is Dr. Bennett, one of our curators,” he said smiling.
(Cha-Ching! Same last name! My eyes rolled back into my head like a slot machine)
Introductions were exchanged and after pleasantries and the old welcome aboard speech, we headed in to order food. I have to say that the cafeteria was ridiculously ostentatious as well. The food selection was beyond the beyond. I’m having trouble putting full sentences together cause it all looked ridiculously delish! We went simple and just grabbed Angus Burgers and Fries and Perrier's all around, and then sat with the director for a good hour, getting to know the man and plying him with questions. Some he answered right away, others he good-naturedly avoided (or deflected), allowing for us to find the answers among his highly competent staff.
“Goodness, look at the time! I have a meeting to attend. We shall see you all tomorrow at the same time. Don’t forget to clock in with HR and your employee badges should be ready in the morning as well. Have a nice afternoon ladies and it was nice to meet you all.” he said smoothly.
We shook hands with Mr. Brooks and bussed our table and headed for the exit. Phew! What a day and wait till I tell my mother who I ran into.
As we passed Dr. Bennett’s table, the old man stopped us and smiled wanting to meet each of us. When he got to me, he recognized my last name and asked if my mother was “Louis Murphy.” which I had to say yes.
The old man rubbed his chin and then smiled.
“Your mom was a great student and kept me on my toes. I understand she is also a librarian?” he asked. I nodded my head and played it off.
“Yep, she’s up in midtown, if you want to…” I continued feeding him a line.
“No, no, just tell her I said hi, she probably won’t remember me, but you never know. It was really nice to meet all of you and have a nice afternoon,” he replied smoothly.
Then the old man stood and picked up his hat (tweed-like mine, funny that) and grabbed a walking stick and tipping his hat headed out with us following.
I had a feeling anot
her girl talk was coming with mom. There go the butterflies again in my stomach.
Chapter 13
It was a glorious afternoon in New York City, all of us girls were in full-on get your booty groove going mode! We were blasting a Kathy Bottom sixties Motown track courtesy of Spotify and Al Green was So In Love With Us that it was magical! The only thing that was missing was us in moon boots and sheer dresses getting ready to boogie-oogie-oogie all night long! (Yeah, we’re kinda ghetto fantastic that way). The three of us loved to do a little throwback and I’m here to tell you we killed it when we did!
(Now, where was I? I was having a rapturous moment. Like when Harry Met Sally and Sally faked the big O for the whole restaurant. That kind of rapture! Wait for it, it’s coming and blam!)
The sunlight was reflecting off of the high-rises and the streets were a bustling mass of humanity and cars flowing outward from the hallowed halls of power! The freshly escaped businessmen and women (it looked like a day after Christmas Sale had just let loose at Dillard’s or Macy’s honestly) were all forming a wedge toward a full-on mass transit exodus. I could just tell that many of them had their frowning faces on. That told me that their Monday’s had all probably sucked (or some such form of the word thereof). Whereas ours had magical unicorns and leprechauns flying through the air...
(Ok, so maybe I had a little/lot of cough syrup at some point in the day and skipped the measuring cup and went straight for the slugging it down like a pro and was now having a massive emotional crash of some sort).
I mean we were singing our hearts out to Al Green! I counted at least two (not one, nooooo, but two) vintage 1970’s whale fin Cadillacs that pulled up alongside us to give us the ole once over with tinted windows and fresh (Fresh Prince even) white walls and sporting silver or gold metal fleck paint to add to the look.
One guy honked and cruised by while the other rolled down his power window and gave us the ole standby line:
“Hey Baby!” (delivered in a very Barry White sounding smooth baritone). The fur coat and pompadour hat with a Don Antonio smelling cigar led completely to the uptown pimp look. (Ever see Undercover Brother? Yeah…)
I didn’t know if he like expected us to hike up our dresses and toss our underwear into his lap or like we were running into a riot at a Motley Crue Concert (cause yeah know every girl falls for the “Hey Baby line” at least once in their life and has that moment of weakness). Or better yet, make small talk over rush hour traffic and have a four-way in the intersection while police on horseback cheered us on! (Go Barry, Go Barry!)
Sarah hit the gas and managed to dodge Mr. Pimpalicious (whose other nickname is probably The Big Dog) doing a few quick New York-style cabbie like lane changes and running a yellow-red light and almost causing us to wet ourselves, I might add, we hit our turn and headed across The Brooklyn Bridge toward home.
Home...The butterflies in my stomach had taken flight and were now kicking around my gut like I was a used tire hanging at a piñata festival! I’m sure my parents would have a million questions for us girls and at some point, liquor would be served and if you are a tipsy bitch like I am, stupid things happen. Like yeah know, my mouth will ask questions that would be better asked in private or during one of those quaint girl talk moments that all girls have with their moms. Well, I could order take out from Frankie’s and stuff my dad full of prime rib and before the buzz fully hit, maybe get him to pass out on the big overstuffed lounge chair in the living room (that looked suspiciously like Archie Bunkers Chair from All In The Family). Bingo!
I grabbed my cell phone and called Tony at Frankie’s and placed my celebratory dinner order.
As soon as he heard the order, of course, I got the:
“Paige, why don’t you come in and eat. You know Frankie wants to see you! That’s a lot of food to take home! It won’t taste as good and on and on he went in that wonderful Italian accent that I so loved to imitate.
“Tony! (I replied, doing my best Italian accent)
“I just started the new job today and need to have a meeting with my parents, Capiche! Your food is required for anything involving a business meeting or celebration and besides, it’s a surprise!
I replied buttering the old man up.
“Ah Paige, you know I love you! For you La Mia Bambina (My little girl) anything! Nothing is impossible. You just leave it to your Uncle Tony.” he replied.
“Thanks, Tony, you’re a doll!” I replied and hung up.
“Are we partying with you tonight?” Kathy asked.
“You girls can hang for dinner, but let’s play it by ear. If mom wants to talk privately with just me, I’ll give you both, the ole wink, wink, nudge, nudge and text you later after we talk, ok?” I asked them.
“Deal!” and then we fist bumped (signifying girl power for those of you not in the know)
“They won’t be expecting it and mom will appreciate not having to cook tonight and if she crock potted a roast; she’ll save it for tomorrow. Besides, when I tell her who I ran into today…”
I continued.
“Good point and a great plan!” Sarah replied.
”Yep, let’s stop at Frankie’s and I’ll have Tony pick a couple of bottles of wine to go with dinner. I’m going to be broke after this, but it’ll be totally worth it if we can get mom to open up a little more.” I told the girls.
Sarah hit the turn for Frankie’s and rolled up like a boss to the restaurant. I pulled into the parking lot and Tony had the food brought to the car.
“You’re lucky I love you girls!” he said smiling to us all.
“Where’s the bill?” I asked searching the bags.
“Your dad said to put it on his credit card. He knew you might try something tonight!” he replied laughing.
I facepalmed and looked at the girls.
Tony gave us the Italian hands-off look.
“Don’t blame me. Frankie saw the order and asked who it was for. He called your dad and you can blame him!” he told us laughing.
Everyone laughed at the comment. Oh well, the cat was out of the bag. My father knew what was planned, but did mom? Better to hurry home with dinner and see what other surprises were in store for us.
Chapter 14
I have to say right now that driving in a car with takeout from Frankie’s was the worst thing ever. I mean you could smell the steaks and potatoes and pasta and bread. Every time I reached for a bag to nibble, Sarah’s hand shot out with cat-like grace and smacked my hand! I was like no you didn’t, but Kathy reminded me to stick to the plan. So, I just sat in the passenger seat drooling like an idiot willing the car to go faster (ok, I yelled step on it! I’m starving! Like the bus driver from The Honeymooners). Sarah deftly weaved through traffic and before long we were turning down my street and driving under the huge canopy of London Plane trees. I loved my neighborhood; it had a certain Je ne sais quoi. It had a secret garden look to it, maybe not as stogy as an old English neighborhood, but it did have its deft touches of architecture to give it an older feel.
We pulled into my driveway and did a quick three-way with the food. I fully expected a parental parade to be waiting for us on the other side of the front door. (You know, when you come home late from a date that was supposed to be over at 12:00 AM or better yet a night of drinking and there are mom and dad waiting in their robes). Nothing could be further from the truth. We walked into the dining room (the table was already set with linen and china). I felt like we had just taken a right turn at the Twilight Zone. The plan was unraveling faster than a roll of toilet paper that the cat pulled down from the bathroom.
“Hi Honey, I’m in the kitchen!” yelled my mom.
“And I’m in the living room!” yelled my dad.
We did a quick double-take (DJ Jazzy Jeff Style. The only thing missing was the song summertime and the weirdness would be complete). Ok, time to pull the awkward Segway out of my pocket and see if there was a trap about to be sprung. I gave the girls the chin for this way and went to see my dad
first.
“Hi, Dad…” I said and we lifted up the bags of food for him to see (since he bought it).
“Surprise?” I continued smiling.
My dad put his paper down (yep, he refused to go digital. He loved holding a newspaper in his hands). Smiling, he stood up and said:
“Let me give you a hand with all of that food, ladies,”
And before we could blink, he had the bags out of our hands and headed toward the kitchen just as my mom (rocking her Everything Tastes Better With Wine apron) opened the swinging door and smiling at my dad said:
“Right on time dears.” and took the bags into the kitchen.
“Hi Mom, we thought dinner from Frankies…” was as far as I got, before my mom turned and smiling said:
“You were reading my mind honey! I can’t wait to hear how your day went!” and then started barking orders for us to grab this plate and that serving dish and five minutes later (tops), sent us marching into the dining room with all of the food.
My dad uncorked a bottle of Champagne (that was already on ice) and started filling glasses around the table. Ok, at this point it was getting Outer Limit’s weird, but we kept rolling with it waiting to see what would happen next. We all sat down and my dad started to chuckle.