Killer Cleavers & Cupcakes

by Mel McCoy

  Humphrey rotated his hand around in a circular motion. “Go on. What’s your question?”

  Ruth straightened herself in her seat. “Do you have any suspects yet?”

  He pursed his lips and nodded. “Yes, we do.”

  “Who?” she asked expectantly.

  He glared at the two women sitting before him. “You two.”

  Chapter 11

  “What?” Ruth and Loretta exclaimed.

  “You can’t be serious!” Ruth added, her heart sinking. How could this be happening? So much for living her dream by traveling and feeding her passion for baking and making others happy. Instead, she was sitting in front of the chief sea officer of a luxury ship, being accused of murder. How would she explain all of this to her family in Florida?

  Officer Humphrey leaned forward. His chair made a torturous squeak under his weight. He flipped through a few pages of a scheduling book on his desk. “You say that you were both scheduled to be in the kitchen at 5 a.m. this morning by Chef Mills, though I don’t see that in his schedule anywhere.”

  Loretta craned her neck to look at the open schedule book. Humphrey eyed her before slamming the book shut.

  “It was last minute,” Ruth said. “He asked us right before we were done with our shift last night.”

  The officer stared at Ruth for a long moment. “Okay. So, you got there at 5 a.m. sharp?”

  “Yes.”

  Humphrey lifted an eyebrow. “But you didn’t find the body until thirty minutes later?”

  Ruth nodded. “Right, because we thought that maybe he was running late.”

  “Then she thought he was testing us,” Loretta added. “So, she decided to go into the pantry to start on tonight’s dessert.”

  Humphrey’s forehead crinkled. “But it was five in the morning. What dessert takes eleven and a half hours to make?”

  “Over two dozen croquembouches,” Ruth said.

  “Croquet what?”

  “Croquembouche,” Loretta said. “It’s French. You see, it’s made with a bunch of choux pastry puffs piled into a cone and bound with threads of cara—”

  “I don’t care!” Humphrey snapped.

  Loretta and Ruth jumped simultaneously.

  Spots of color appeared on his cheeks, and he breathed through his nose. He silently eyeballed each of them.

  Loretta lifted a finger. “Sir, if I may—”

  “No, you may not! The point is that you were both found with the body, and there is a full half hour you admit to being there with it. I don’t know about you, but that sounds extremely suspicious. And my duty is to keep this ship safe.” He narrowed his eyes at them. “I take my duties seriously, ladies. I’ll be damned if criminals are running amok on the very ship I’m obligated to protect.”

  Loretta waggled her finger between Ruth and herself. “Sir, we are not murderers. If we were, why would we use a meat cleaver? We’re bakers. We’d probably use a rolling pin or the blow torch.”

  Ruth kicked Loretta. “You’re not helping,” she muttered under her breath.

  Loretta regarded her. “It’s true…and I think I am.”

  “No, ma’am. You’re not,” Humphrey said. “You had full access to the cleaver, and you could have used it to divert the investigation.”

  “Sir, we called you,” Ruth said. “If we murdered him, why would we place ourselves at the scene by calling you?”

  “Correction: Janice called after she found you two with the body.”

  “How do you know Janice didn’t do it?” Loretta asked.

  Humphrey leaned forward. “I’ll tell you why. Because I’ve known Janice for over a decade while working with this cruise line.” He jabbed his index finger on the top of his desk. “And there has never been so much as a paper cut surrounding her presence in any kitchen.”

  Ruth placed a finger on her chin. “Sir, why would we admit to being in the kitchen for a half hour before finding the body? If we did it, we could have easily said that we were scheduled to be there at five thirty. Especially if Chef Mills didn’t document the time we were expected to be there in the first place.”

  Humphrey remained silent. After a few moments, he sighed. “Look, there isn’t much I can do about this anyway. Not without a shred of evidence that links you two to this murder.”

  Ruth’s shoulders relaxed.

  “Not to mention…” Humphrey rubbed his chin. “Janice is adamant that she needs both of you for that Mermaid’s Dinner event. Luckily for the two of you, this isn’t some typical mainstream cruise ship. So, these passengers expect the very best. Unfortunately for me, I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. If it were up to me, you’d both be spending the remainder of this trip in the brig.” He tapped his pen on the schedule book in front of him. “But there will be a full investigation when we get back to the Florida port. And if either of you causes any kind of ruckus on this ship before then, I will lock you up so fast. You both understand what a Code Alpha is, right?”

  “Of course,” Ruth said.

  “Good, and I expect this to be handled as such. That means not a word will be spoken about this to any of the passengers, nor any member of the crew, I don’t care who they are. Got it? We need to uphold the ship’s reputation, or we are all out of jobs.” Humphrey huffed and added, “And I’ll lose my office and be back on the Conqueror doing dreaded security watch.”

  “But someone is bound to ask what happened to Chef Mills,” Ruth said. “What are we supposed to say?”

  “Nothing.” Humphrey let out a huff. “You say nothing, because you know nothing.”

  “What if someone sees us coming out of your office?” Loretta asked. “They’ll know we know something. What do we tell them?”

  Humphrey clasped both hands over his face and pulled them down. “I don’t know. Tell them that Chef Mills is under the weather and holed up in his cabin. But honestly, women, I don’t care. As long as no one knows that we have a murderer or murderers on the loose. Now, go! Before I lock you both in the brig for annoying me.”

  Loretta shot out of her chair. “Yes, sir.” She saluted.

  As soon as they were out of Humphrey’s office and the door closed behind them, Loretta said, “Can you believe him? Thinking that we could be capable of killing anyone?”

  Ruth set her gaze on Loretta. “Someone aboard this ship is.”

  “Well, it’s certainly not us. I have a feeling that Humpty Dumpty in there has no idea what he’s doing. I can’t even stand the sight of lobsters being held captive in the tank, and he thinks I’m capable of murder?”

  Heading down I-95, Ruth and Loretta spoke in low voices, until several crew members passed them. They stopped talking and smiled warmly, waving and pretending all was fine aboard the Splendor of the Seas. They continued down the corridor to their room and stepped inside, quickly closing the door.

  Ruth inhaled deeply. What was happening?

  Loretta walked straight into the bathroom and closed the door.

  “Hey!” Ruth walked over to the door, giving it a few rough bangs with the side of her fist. “Don’t you think we should talk about this?”

  Loretta stuck her head out. “What is there to talk about? We’ve received our orders. Don’t talk. And when we get back, I’m going to call my lawyer, and I suggest you do the same.” She closed the door in Ruth’s face. She continued, her voice echoing inside: “Best not to speak to the officers, either. I’m sure we’ll have a case anyway. We’re not the ones covering anything up.”

  “Lawyers?” Ruth yelled through the door. “Do you really think that’s necessary? As soon as they get real investigators to check out the crime scene, they’ll know it wasn’t us. They’ll dust for fingerprints and everything.”

  “And whose fingerprints do you think they are going to find? I know for certain we left our identity stamped on just about everything in that pantry.”

  “So did everyone else working in that kitchen. But I meant on the handle of the murder weapon.” Ruth hesitated a
moment, then yelled through the door, “Or we can find the murderer. Exonerate ourselves.”

  Loretta swung open the door. “That’s the most ridiculous thing you have said since I met you.”

  “You just met me yesterday.” Ruth smirked. “Besides, Chef Mills had a lot of enemies. I think I may know who did it.”

  “I’m listening.”

  “Well, Kelvin, for starters. He and Chef Mills hadn’t been getting along. You heard Mills berating him yesterday about that salmon dish. All he forgot was the lemon, and he was kicked out of the kitchen.”

  Loretta stepped out of the bathroom. “And what about Janice? She had real motive. You heard her. Something about how Chef Mills took her kitchen or something.”

  “Oh, I don’t know, Loretta. Janice seemed rather shocked and upset about Chef Mills being murdered.”

  “She was acting.”

  “What?”

  “Listen, I’ve had a lot of training in acting, and I know an act when I see one.” Loretta placed a hand on her hip. “She was way too dramatic.”

  Ruth shook her head. “I think she was terrified. It’s not every day you walk into a murder scene.”

  Loretta shrugged. “True, but I wouldn’t count her out as a suspect.”

  “Officer Humphrey says he’s known her for years and that it couldn’t have been her.”

  Loretta crossed her arms, challenging Ruth. “She has the biggest motive out of everyone so far.”

  “You’re right, Loretta. We can’t count anyone out. And we will be working alongside Janice. As for Kelvin, he doesn’t work in our kitchen anymore. We’ll need to find him and see what we can learn about his whereabouts last night.”

  Loretta nodded. She seemed just as determined to find the guilty party—but she had as much to lose as Ruth. “How will we do that?”

  For the first time since she boarded the ship, Ruth felt control seeping into her bones. She was beginning to feel like herself again. She grabbed a tube of her favorite lipstick and uncapped it. Loretta watched in wonder and admiration as Ruth painted her lips a brilliant rosy pink. “All we have to do is keep our eyes and ears open,” Ruth continued, twisting the lipstick closed and tossing it on her bed. “I’m sure we are bound to find something. So, finish up with whatever you need to do, and let’s get into the kitchen. We have a dinner to serve.”

  Loretta raised an eyebrow. “But how are we ever going to get all those croquembouches done by this evening?”

  Ruth dropped her shoulders in defeat. She wasn’t sure how to answer that question.

  Chapter 12

  The kitchen crew had been told that Chef Mills had fallen ill, and that Janice would be taking over for tonight’s dinner.

  Rumors were already spreading on how he’d been caught cozying up with a passenger, a big no-no and an offense that could get an employee fired immediately on the ship. Staff were never to shack up with a passenger. Though Ruth felt terrible that such a rumor was flying around the ship, there was no way for her to set the record straight.

  On top of everything else, the pantry was on lockdown for the remainder of the trip. Now, all supplies had to be carried up from storage. That meant numerous trips down to the storage area located off of I-95 on the second level. Luckily, the ship always carried extra of everything, just in case, and restocked when they were at port. But it was going to be a pain stocking items on the limited shelves outside the pantry of the Mermaid’s Dinner Room kitchen.

  Ruth was next to Loretta in the changing area, tying her apron around her waist and adjusting her baker’s hat.

  “There you two are!” Janice hurried over to them, frantic. Beads of sweat had already formed on her forehead. “I need your help. I had several of the bakers work on the croquembouches, and look!” She pointed to three of the saddest-looking golden pyramids Ruth had ever seen. One had collapsed, the other bore a striking resemblance to the Leaning Tower of Pisa with cream oozing from every crevice, and the third was still stuck to the mold.

  “They are a disaster!” Janice continued, directing her anger toward the three bakers, who hung their heads in shame. One of them had bandages around his fingers—Ruth could only imagine this was to cover up the resulting burns from the molten liquid sugar.

  Janice faced Ruth. “I need you to help me fix this.”

  Ruth shook her head. “There’s no way.”

  Janice froze. “What? What do you mean? There has to be a way.”

  “If we had more time and more than just two of us with the experience and the capability to batch the pastries, the cream, and assemble it, then maybe. But making a croquembouche isn’t that simple, and we are on a time schedule. It would be unfair to all of us and the passengers if we attempt this.”

  Janice put her hands on her head. “I specialize in entrées, not desserts. I don’t know what to do.”

  Ruth frowned. She felt for Janice, who was in a position Ruth hoped she would never have to be in. Chef Aaron Mills indeed went above and beyond, but without a particularly skilled and practiced staff, it was impractical.

  Then Ruth remembered. She had been in a similar situation when she owned her bakery, Baby Cakes. She’d been required to cater for a birthday party of a wealthy family when the birthday girl’s five-layer cake had fallen. She had been under a time constraint, and yet she was able to pull off the impossible. Ruth had gathered her team and split them up into groups and organized them to work in assembly to batch cupcakes instead. She then arranged the cupcakes into the girl’s favorite princess. It had been a huge hit, and Ruth had learned that batching cupcakes was so much easier and faster, and could still be spectacular and a crowd favorite. “Listen, I think I have an idea.”

  When Ruth told Janice her plan, the woman locked eyes with her. “Cupcakes?” Janice shook her head in disapproval. “No way. We’ll be serving classy French cuisines tonight, hence the croquembouches. We can’t come out with cupcakes for dessert. We need an elegant dessert with gold to match the plates’ trim.”

  “Hold on. Just hear me out,” Ruth said.

  Janice crossed her arms, waiting.

  Ruth continued, “All we have to do is come up with a cupcake that matches that theme.”

  “If we are going with the croquembouche theme, maybe we can fill our cupcakes with cream,” Loretta suggested.

  Ruth pointed at her. “That’s a great idea! We can create a cupcake that has a similar flavor to the croquembouche. We won’t be able to make it crunchy with the pastry, but we can try to capture the same flavor and design it to look just as elegant. Like using the same technique that we often use to decorate a croquembouche. You know, like the spun sugar. Do we have chopsticks?”

  Putting a finger to her chin, Janice wore a contemplative look. “Yes, I think we have a bunch in storage for the sushi restaurant.”

  “Great! We’ll need a couple of those.” Ruth regarded the three bakers who were still standing off to the side, waiting for instruction. “Trash those croquembouches, and let’s bake some killer cupcakes!”

  The three bakers dumped the messy desserts and shared Ruth’s enthusiasm to do what they knew best: baking cakes.

  Ruth sectioned everyone into their own stations within the bakers’ kitchen. She helped two of them get started on the cakes, while the other two started on the icing. Then, Ruth and Loretta worked on the elements for the cupcakes after Ruth showed the other bakers how to make a razor-thin caramel brittle to add to the tops of the cupcakes.

  In the meantime, Loretta was a pro at cooking the spun sugar. When it was done, Ruth grabbed a whisk from the drawer and cut it in half with a wire cutter.

  Cocking her head, Loretta asked, “What are you doing, Ruth? That’s the ship’s property. I think they frown upon destroying kitchen utensils.”

  “I’m not destroying it. Watch.” Ruth held up the whisk that now had fourteen prongs sticking out from its handle. She dipped it into the liquid sugar and drizzled it over the chopsticks that were situated a foot apart. Picking up the
strings of sugar, Ruth molded them carefully with her hands. When it was shaped into a beautiful, golden ball, she held it up for Loretta to admire. “See.”

  “Oh, that is amazing!” Loretta took the fragile ball from Ruth’s hand and placed it next to one of the shimmering cupcakes. “Wow, Ruth, wait until Janice sees this!”

  Ruth noted that the cooks were almost done serving all the passengers. “Loretta, we don’t have much time.”

  Nodding, Loretta continued swirling the golden sugar into tiny, delicate strands between two chopsticks Ruth held. Ruth molded each into balls to set next to each cupcake as one of the other bakers plated them. When each cupcake had been placed on a small plate, Loretta then swirled spun sugar on top of the cupcakes, creating a dazzling hive on top of each miniature cake. Each baker tried a piece of whatever finished cupcakes were leftover and groaned with pleasure. The cream inside the cupcakes was smooth and delicious.

  Janice walked in. “Those desserts better be ready!” She stopped mid-stride in front of all the cupcakes, already plated and ready to go. Her mouth hung open as she took a step back. “Wow. I-I can’t believe how gorgeous they are!”

  One of the bakers held a plate up to her, grinning ear to ear with pride.

  Janice took the cupcake, eyeing it with admiration, and took a bite. Her eyes went wide before she groaned with pleasure. “Oh, my gawd,” she said, her mouth still full. “These are amazing!”

  “Thank you,” they all replied in unison.

  Ruth smiled with pride, glad to be part of an excellent team.

  Then Janice shook away the spell that the desserts had put her under and clapped her hands together. “Okay, let’s get these out to our passengers!”

  A newfound energy had taken over as they hustled to get all the cupcakes out to their guests. Out in the dining room, Ruth found herself at the first table, which consisted of the Larson family and Debbie Devore.