Her eyes popped and raising her eyebrows she whispered the word: “Amazing.”
“Are you sure? Tell me the truth. If you don’t like it, you can change it.”
“Amazing,” she exclaimed again, and made a move to kiss me on the cheek but at the last minute she backed down. We both remembered the unexpected kiss and took a step back so we wouldn’t be tempted to give any more kisses that could create more problems.
“Wait a minute!” I added, walking towards the kitchen.
“What?” she asked puzzled.
“Wait!” I shouted from the kitchen and returned to the living room holding a bottle of champagne in one hand and in the other, two tall glasses.
“Champagne as well?” she smiled.
“Of course. Today I will allow you to drink a glass because it’s your birthday,” I said and began shaking the champagne.
“No, don’t shake it; you’ll make a mess,” she cried out, closing her ears and eyes.
The cork popped out of the bottle and flew off with great speed, hitting the ceiling and ended up on the floor. The rich froth began to spill on the floor like a waterfall.
It didn’t bother me that the champagne had made a mess of the living room, I only wanted to see her happy and I thought I had accomplished it.
“Jacques, you are so nice. I’m speechless.”
“Take care of yourself and always be happy,” I exclaimed, pouring some champagne in our glasses.
We clinked our glasses and began drinking the champagne as though it was water! I put some loud rock music on the CD player and soon a second bottle followed!
She had drunk almost three glasses. Not only because I forbade her but because she didn’t want to drink any more either. After our small party, we were numb and were in a state of nirvana. I was half on the sofa and half on the floor and the little one was lying on her back on a warm white carpet that dominated the room.
“Jacques?” she asked, softly.
“Tell me!”
“After two hundred and forty-three full days how does it seem to you having me here?”
“Are you counting them?”
“One by one. Every day since I met you,” she replied, fixing her eyes on me.
“You brought me to life again Eve! Honestly, I’m living unforgettable moments.”
“And when the time comes for me to leave?”
“Don’t say that… that time will never come! When it comes, we’ll talk about it,” I said, stretching my back sitting up.
“I don’t want to…”
“What don’t you want, my little Eve?”
“I don’t want to leave,” she said with certainty.
I noticed that from her eyes, tears of melancholy had started to well up.
“You won’t leave, my little one. We’ll stay together and for as long as I live, I will take care of you.” I moved closer to her.
“No, you don’t understand.”
“What don’t I understand?”
“I don’t want to leave, and not because you are protecting me and taking care of me.”
“But why?” I asked, mystified.
“Because… Oh, let it go.”
“No, I’m not letting it go. I want you to tell me.”
“I can’t tell you. It’s too hard for me.”
“I’m waiting, tell me why…”
“I can’t…”
“Say it!”
“Because I’m in love with you, Jacques!” she said, embarrassed!
Her pale face was covered with tears, which she kept on wiping with her small hands.
I looked at her speechless. Wordless. Without being able to tell her that I felt the same way.
I was in a very difficult position. With no way out!
She started crying and her blue eyes had turned red from nervousness and distress. After she saw me looking at her without having answered, she got up from the carpet and began running towards her bedroom.
“Eve?” I cried out but the only answer I got was the loud thud of the door.
I desired her passionately, I fell in love with her from the first moment I saw her and I was suppressing my feelings so I wouldn’t reveal them to her.
We had spent eight months together… the best months of my life.
This young and vibrant girl had given me unbelievable moments of happiness and joy, bringing back to the surface my good mood after many years.
For two hundred and forty-three days my love for her was controlling me without me being able to express my feelings because she was just a young girl. A very young girl who could be my daughter!
I craved for the idea of touching her pure and virginal body and I would die for another kiss from those fresh and youthful lips!
All of this, though, remained in my dreams because of my age. Pursuing something with her wouldn’t be logical or moral.
Besides that, I loved her and wanted her to be happy. If she stayed with me she wouldn’t be. I could never give her what she needed. I could never give her the life she wanted or anything more. My everyday routine was miserable and meaningless. I found my happiness in my dark basement and on my sofa. These four walls and the paintbrush in my hand were the only things that gave meaning to my existence. I couldn’t make her live with me like that. However much I desired her, however much I was in love with her, it was impossible for us to be together.
‘Time… why should it pass so quickly? Time saddens us but it also makes us happy. It takes a man deep down into hell and fails to resurrect him! It is a healer though. The best healer that makes us forget bad memories filled with poison,’ I whispered, emptying the second bottle in my glass.
The night found me lying on the sofa with two empty bottles of champagne on the floor, two small plates with left over cake on the table and Niki in her small hiding place in a tiny part of the garden behind the kitchen.
Αt the crack of dawn, the sun shone on my face through the tall, narrow windows waking me up.
I jumped up. Troubled. I couldn’t remember how I ended up sleeping in the living room. I looked at my watch and it showed 6:17.
My head was banging from last night’s drinking.
‘It’s too early…’ I murmured and stood up to pick up the plates.
As I was about to pick them up, I noticed that the plates were no longer in the living room. Neither were the bottles of champagne. I opened my eyes wide and the floor was shining as if someone had mopped it. There was no sign of the split champagne on it.
“Eve?” I exclaimed quietly, so I wouldn’t wake her.
She had tidied up everywhere. She had cleaned, mopped and washed the dishes while I was still dizzy and sleeping!
I went up the stairs and headed towards her room so I could thank her for what she had done. I had in mind an idea that would change my life dramatically! Today, I would take her on a ride in a gondola and I would probably tell her that I was in love with her too; I didn’t care about my age… I didn’t care at all. I defy time. I would declare my love and tell her that I can’t live without having her near me. I can’t suppress my feelings any more. My heart wouldn’t let me act any other way. I would die for her!
I knocked gently on her bedroom door but there was no answer. It was very early in the morning and it was natural that she would still be sleeping, I thought.
I turned the doorknob quietly and as I opened the door, I was confronted with an empty room! It was exactly as it was when I had bought the house!
Where are her clothes? Where is the untidiness that was prominent? Where is her scent? Where is Eve? I wondered.
“Eve? Eve?” I yelled like crazy and I pushed the door hard.
I was acting like a madman! I began pulling the covers off the bed and throwing things on the floor, overwhelmed with anger.
As I was wandering in the room, searching for my young companion, an envelope caught my attention addressed ‘To the man of my life.’
My hands were shaking from nervousness. I held the enve
lope tightly and opened it, ripping it at the side and began reading carefully:
«Jacques,
You are the best man I have ever met in my life. I really had a great time living with you all these months. You are unique and special and I thank you for everything. I owe you my life for all the things you did for me. If it wasn’t for you, I don’t know where I would be now.
Lately, I couldn’t look at you as someone older, who took care of me, nor like a guardian because I had started to feel differently about you. I had lost control over my feelings and began to fall in love with you! I couldn’t control my mind and my heart was racing, ready to explode every time we hugged. This feeling is so intense. I hadn’t felt like that before and I can’t expel it from inside me!
As for the kiss, forgive me, but I really wanted it. I needed it and I haven’t regretted it, not for a second. It was probably the best and most impulsive moment that I have ever experienced.
I know… you’ll say that I am young and I don’t know what I’m doing but it’s not like that. Only you existed in my thoughts and my imagination and no one else. I had even planned our future in Venice in my mind. Together in the house with our routine. Me, a photographer and you, a brilliant art restorer and a writer one day, you never know… you always enjoyed writing your thoughts down on a piece of paper. Never say never!
I know your answer! There is difference between us. A big age difference! Unfortunately, it’s taboo and it can’t be overcome.
I am younger than you and you are twice my age. It’s heart-breaking, but what can I do? Suppress and bury all the feelings that I have for you? No! I can’t do that! I’m telling you the truth now and I confess that I’m extremely in love with you and for that reason I don’t want to cause you any problems, so I made the decision to leave your life…
It’s harder for me, but you see, we all face what we ‘must’ do… I hope you can make room in your heart for me and not forget about me.
Goodbye Jacques, and I wish you all the happiness and joy.
I love you,
Your young rebel…»
‘No, no… Please don’t leave’ I said to myself, as I sat on the floor overwhelmed by tears of disappointment!
‘Eve come back!’ I cried out, holding in my clenched fist the screwed up bitter letter she had written.
‘I should have told her sooner; I should have poured out my heart to her. I wanted her as well and I’m in love with her,’ I mumbled, sobbing.
All day I remained curled up on her bedroom carpet and I wept with bitterness and grief.
The time had passed. It was late in the evening and I felt an inexplicable hatred and anger towards myself! I stood up and began walking from the bedroom down into the dark cellar full of rage and temper!
Going inside, I approached the large wooden bookcase and looked at it as if it was my biggest enemy! I pushed it down on the floor with great force, leaving the basement in a great mess.
After many years, I confronted again the white sheet that was covering the mysterious portrait.
It was quietly shouting at me, ‘Go away…!’ I shouldn’t’ have gone near it and I knew that. But I couldn’t resist. I began hysterically unravelling it like a maniac, until I came face to face after a long time with the portrait that depicted my first love… Eve!
All my muscles relaxed from the tension. The hatred disappeared from my face and after taking a deep breath, I propped up it opposite me and I stared at its perfection, giving it my full attention.
‘Don’t you leave as well…’ I whispered, touching the painting with my fingers. Depression, sorrow and sadness had overtaken me, unable to defend myself against my bad mood.
I went up to the living room, wore my jacket and put my warm cap on and began to walk around the streets in case I met her somewhere!
I walked fast, frowning, so I could prevent the tears coming up to the surface. I couldn’t make it! Within a few minutes down the road, I felt my cheeks cool from my tears that burst from my eyes in a continuous flow, like water in a spring.
My breathing increased rapidly and I stopped a little further down, leaning against a street column so I could take deeper breaths. I kept on searching for quite a while but with no result. I couldn’t find her anywhere. I looked even in the most absurd places within the area but my Eve was nowhere to be found.
I desired her like nothing else in this world and I would have given everything to see her pretty smile.
‘I love you Eve…’ I whispered all alone in the middle of the street.
“Look at that mad man!” I heard a male voice and giggling from a bunch of youths that were watching me talking to myself.
They kept on mocking me and swearing at me, calling me crazy, dumb and other many similar names…
I was outraged! I snapped! I began walking quickly towards the unknown gang and saw them scatter instantly! There was only the apparent leader of the gang left, the most daring and he was looking at me with a smirk on his face. The rest of them were watching from a safe distance.
“What do you want, old man?” he asked me.
I was standing in front of him with a dangerous look and a good dose of craziness!
“Go, leave now and keep on talking about your Eve!” he continued saying mockingly! When I heard Eve’s name, I swiftly reached out and grabbed his ear, nearly ripping it off his head! He was swearing and sobbing, having surrendered in my murderous hands! I couldn’t let go of him. I didn’t want to! I was in a frenzy! Shouts and screams were heard from the rest of them yelling at me to stop. I threw him down and stood on his hand with my heavy, muddy boots! He was in pain and was begging me to stop! I wasn’t listening! I could only hear my disturbed mind…
The young boy’s eyes were ready to pop out from their sockets from the panic and fear he was experiencing!
“You shouldn’t talk like that you know?” I shrieked, not caring about anything.
“Yes! Yes. I’m sorry!” he kept on crying.
His friends didn’t come near us. They were terrified and they were threatening that they would call the police.
His lips were soaked with tears. He was keeping his eyes shut so he couldn’t see. He wouldn’t look at me since he didn’t know what my next move would be!
In my mind, I had plotted the most extreme murderous scenarios so I could punish him. Scenarios that you could only find in horror films! In the end, I didn’t hurt him. I stood up and left him in the middle of the road!
He remained with his eyes closed and with his heart pounding. I removed my boot from his bruised hand and began running in the dark alleyways, like I was being hunted! His friends ran to him and were shouting from a distance that they would find me and I would go to prison!
‘Thank goodness I didn’t kill him! I was so close… oh God, thank you,’ I said to myself, taking the road back to my house.
I returned a wreck and very tired after three excruciating hours. Walking in my empty and lonely house, I stood for a while in the entrance staring at the living room, thinking about how the two of us would live in this city, in this house… together.
‘Where is her energy? Where is the immense happiness she brought to this house? Her sweet voice and her unforgettable youthful scent,’ I wondered.
The more I was thinking of her, the more my grief became stronger and it had literally taken over me. I kneeled on the cold floor and stayed there with my head bowed, exhausted by my thoughts and ideas!
I held in my hand a small photograph that we had taken together and I smiled slightly, taking a brief moment from my sorrow.
Every day I had been gazing at the same photograph that was taken on one of our wonderful walks. I had a smudge of chocolate on my cheek and she was sitting next to me, supposedly not having noticed, with a cheeky smile and holding an ice-cream cone in her hand.
My favourite photograph! I put it in my wallet and began walking up to the bathroom dragging my feet! I took off my clothes with slow movements and went in the s
hower. I turned on the cold water! All my body was freezing. I was shaking from hypothermia. Without drying myself with a towel, I headed towards the bedroom and lied wet and almost unconscious on the bed.
I opened my eyes from the lethargy that had overcome me and another day had gone by. The sun was setting, adding more sadness to the scenery. I hadn’t realized how many hours I’d been sleeping; I had lost track of time.
I wasn’t going to sit around doing nothing and I got ready to go and look for her again for a second consecutive day.
I was wandering for hours around the streets and canals of Venice, feeling certain that at some point I would come across her fresh face; all alone, lost and so young! She would be confronted by many dangers. So vulnerable and sensitive that she won’t make it, I thought…
After quite a while, I sat on the pavement out of breath from walking and I was thinking were she could have gone! I was racking my brain to find her and to bring back to me!
I was possessed by panic and worry for the defenceless girl that had so unexpectedly shown up in my life!
My efforts to find her turned out to be fruitless once more. I returned home and stood again at my front door, not being able to comprehend that she had left me so suddenly.
‘Why, baby? Why did you do this?’ I muttered to myself and sat on the sofa with tears in my eyes, staring into space. I couldn’t stand sitting idle inside, while my love was probably having a hard time in difficult conditions.
The large hands on the clock were pointing at four o’clock in the early hours and I was worried sick. I was tapping my foot nervously on the floor and was biting my fingernails from anxiety.
After a while, I stood up and opened the kitchen cupboard and grabbed a bottle of whisky! In the morning, the bottle was empty and with it, I was as well! I was empty, hollow and deserted without the smiles and liveliness of my young girl. I hadn’t slept not even for a second and the next morning I had arranged a very important meeting about a significant job that would bring me a lot of money. I cancelled it! I cancelled that very important meeting, losing around ten thousand euro and I kept on looking for her everywhere! Over and under bridges, in narrow and dark alleys, in every street even those that were a great distance away from my house.
Did I Seduce You Mr Jacques Page 15