Remember Me: Music For The Heart: Book 4

by Starr, Faith

  That got him moving. He dashed across the room with me following behind.

  “I won.” He flashed me his boyish smile.

  He got the shower running. Guess we were taking one.

  While he pulled towels from the linen closet, I checked out his ass, the fine one I had felt a few minutes ago. He was so well-built—muscular, but not bodybuilder steroid big. His arms had the perfect amount of bulk on them.

  His tattoos caught my eye. They were such a personal thing. I knew because I had one on my ankle.

  “Water’s hot. Ladies first.” He gestured for me to enter the glass enclosure.

  The marble inlays in the tile were so intricate and lovely. His apartment was gorgeous. Well, the bathroom portion since I hadn’t paid any mind to anything other than its owner.

  “Are you always so polite?” I scooted in front of him and entered the shower, getting under the sprayer.

  “My mother was a stickler for manners. My grandpa too.” He stepped in behind me.

  “They did good.”

  “I’m glad you approve.” He angled my head back and rinsed my hair. I could totally get used to this type of pampering. He not only washed my hair, but he also soaped me from top to bottom, all shyness about being nude in front of him gone—something new for me. I was pretty reserved when it came to sex. He wouldn’t know it based on my current behavior. For the most part, I still considered myself in the learning phase of sexual experimentation since there hadn’t been many opportunities.

  “Tell me about your tattoo.” He washed the skin on my ankle, suds forming around the small round earth image.

  “It helps me keep things in perspective.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, the earth is large in comparison to the people inhabiting it. Yet we’re all consumed with ourselves. When dealing with life’s challenges, I ask myself how important is it really? I live in a big world. One I am a small part of. Am I giving whatever it is I’m going through so much power that it’s distracting me from seeing the big picture? I guess in a sense, the tattoo is a reminder for me to keep things simple because my narrow thinking loves to blow up issues the size of a mouse into elephant-sized proportions. It also reminds me that I’m not alone and that the world doesn’t revolve around me.”

  He halted all actions, seemingly taken aback, if not somewhat impressed, by my response. “That’s so profound.”

  He resumed washing me.

  “How about the tattoos on your arms? What’s the meaning behind them?” Since he’d asked me about mine, I figured I’d go ahead and get the scoop on his.

  His hand stilled on my ankle. “Whereas you have one, I have many. Each one represents something different.”

  “That too is profound,” I replied with playful sarcasm.

  “Very funny, smartass. Can I ask you a question?”

  “Does that mean you’re not going to answer mine?”

  “I have no issue with you asking about my individual tats but to tell you the story behind each one would take a while.”

  Ryan’s tattoos held secrets. Secrets he didn’t want to share with me yet, if ever. I’d still probe. “How about this one?” I pointed to the rain clouds pouring raindrops on a sun—the image on his left arm.

  “It symbolizes a period in my life that was once sunny and bright, but darkness unexpectedly covered it, and now it’s gone forever.”

  And he said my response was profound.

  “Forever?” What could the sun possibly represent? An ex? A loved one?

  “Sadly, yes.”

  “I’m sorry darkness took whatever it was away from you.”

  “Yeah. Me too.”

  His mood turned somber, so I dropped any further inquiry.

  “When exactly are you leaving to go back on the road?”

  “In a few weeks.”

  My mood turned somber too.

  He tipped my chin up. “I’d like to spend as much of it with you as possible.”

  “I’m glad, but it’s not going to be easy with my work schedule.”

  “We’ll do what we can.”

  We finished showering and dried off.

  Back in his room, he dropped his towel and plucked a pair of boxer briefs out of his drawer. What a jaw-dropping specimen of a man. I couldn’t stop ogling him. As much as I wanted to wait, a part of me wanted to give in to temptation because soon he’d be leaving. Then we’d both have to fantasize about what it would be like to be with the other one, entirely. Meaning, the real deal.

  Mr. Oblivious continued to dress in shorts and a shirt. I stood frozen in the middle of his bedroom, wrapped in a towel, contemplating the little time we had left together before he hit the road again.

  He faced me. “Oh, did you want to borrow another T-shirt?”

  His sweetness melted me into mush.

  “No. It’s okay.”

  “What’s wrong then?” He took a step forward so he was right in front of me.

  “Nothing.”

  “When a woman says nothing’s wrong, run.”

  I giggled.

  “So, what is it? What’s going on?”

  “Thinking about you leaving is all.”

  “Don’t dwell on that now. Enjoy what we have left together.”

  Not an easy task when it had an expiration date.

  So then stop thinking about making love to him. He already told you women beg to fuck him, not make love.

  “Lizzie, please talk to me.”

  My finger went into my mouth.

  “Oh no, you don’t. The playful, dirty you was here a few minutes ago. I want her to speak to me.”

  His words made it sound like I had multiple personalities. I found it funny. Then again, maybe if I spoke about myself in the third person, it would make it easier for me to share how I felt.

  “My shy self refuses to say anything.”

  “And your dirty self?”

  “She’s curious about how it will feel to sleep with you because you’ll be gone soon enough, and she doesn’t want to miss out on sharing the experience with you.”

  “There’s no pressure coming from me. I’m fine waiting.”

  “That’s the problem. Soon enough isn’t that far off.”

  “Fuck, Lizzie.” He wore a pained expression. “I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

  “My regret will be pushing it off. My track record is to do that. Push things I fear further and further away until it’s too late.”

  “There’s no reason to fear it, and it’s never too late.”

  “It is when the heart is involved, and one of us is leaving.”

  His breath picked up speed, not in an excited way either. More of a “this situation sucks” way.

  “Trust me, I’d love more than anything to be with you intimately, but it’s your call. I’m merely trying to respect your wishes and to tell you the truth, your messages are somewhat confusing me right now.”

  “Does this confuse you?” I took a giant step forward and pulled him into my arms. I kissed him hungrily.

  He embraced me, his erection pressing against the towel still draped around me.

  We kissed like a couple of teenagers about to lose their virginity. In a sense, it wasn’t too far off base because my first experience had sucked. I already cared more for Ryan in the short time I’d known him than I did for that stupid jerk from my past.

  “Are you sure about this? I don’t want you to make a hasty decision you’ll later regret.”

  “Stop with the regret thing. I’m a big girl.”

  “That you are.”

  “Then as your fans say,” I dropped the towel. His eyes devoured me whole. “Take me to your bed and fuck me.”

  “Jesus Christ.”

  “Do you have a problem with that?”

  “No… Not at all.”

  To hear him almost stuttering was a major ego boost.

  “Then what are you waiting for?”

  He guided me onto the bed and kissed me.
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  “For the record, I still don’t think there’s a rush. If you want to wait, I’m fine with it.”

  “Will you shut up already?”

  My fingers threaded into his hair. I raised my head off the mattress to kiss him.

  He released my lips and moved down to my breasts. My nipples were firm, especially when he tugged on them with his teeth. So hot.

  “Ryan…” I moaned.

  My vocalization encouraged him to move lower. His mouth returned to my aroused and sensitive flesh. He palmed my clit while his tongue entered me. I nudged his head closer, so he’d go deeper. I was wound up.

  “Yes… There… Right there…”

  He slowed down. “Not so fast.”

  Why not?

  Hopefully, he couldn’t see my frown.

  13

  Ryan

  Miss Impatient grunted when I eased up. Sucked for her but I wanted us coming together.

  We kissed, her flavor shared between us. My cock was so hard. I couldn’t get enough of this woman.

  Her eyes blinked open. Mine did the same. A cloud of desire covered hers, most definitely mine too.

  The condoms were stashed in my nightstand drawer. It seemed miles away.

  Fuck it. I separated from her long enough to collect one, tear open the package, and suit up. My body was right back on top of hers, exactly where it was supposed to be.

  Right when I inched my way into paradise, she tensed, which halted my movements. “Did you change your mind? Do you want me to stop?”

  “No. it’s… umm, been a while for me.” Her gaze flicked toward the wall.

  A while? That made me feel ecstatic. King of the fucking world ecstatic.

  “Then I’ll go slow.”

  Her eyes returned to mine. She gave me a faint nod.

  “Tell me if I hurt you.”

  “I hope you don’t.”

  The manner in which she’d uttered those words were in a completely different context than the intended meaning of mine.

  With that, there was a slight pause. We stared at each other for a few seconds—a shared moment, if you will. A heavy as shit one too.

  Fuck.

  I swiped the back of my fingers across her velvety-soft cheek.

  This girl was getting under my skin and fast. Mason had been right. I had to be careful. I was a master at building walls. She was clearly skilled at breaking them down. As a result, she was gaining access to a shielded heart. The thought alone almost had my dick shriveling up.

  With measured movements, I entered her. Her pussy was like a sealed container.

  “You can move faster. You’re not hurting me. I promise.”

  See Dick rise to the occasion.

  I prayed it would. The emotional ping pong game playing inside my head created anxiety. Too much thought and pressure.

  Fortunately, it did me proud. Her walls softened, and we found a steady rhythm. Her legs wrapped around my back and hugged me. I kissed her neck, her earlobe, her cheek. I sucked on her nipple. She kissed my lips, my shoulder. She gripped my ass. It was a full body exploration on both of our parts.

  “You feel amazing, baby.”

  Baby? I hadn’t called a woman that name with intention in forever. If ever. Unless spoken in a friendly manner. But with a romantic connotation? Nope.

  It felt right with Lizzie, so I let the thought slide. I had to stop thinking period if I knew what was best for me.

  “You do too,” she panted.

  I flipped us over, putting her on top and in control.

  She pinched her nipples, then cupped her breasts. Her hair was a shaggy mess around her cheeks. She was lost in pleasure, fully immersing herself in our shared experience. It was a mind-blowing and sexy as fuck sight.

  I steadied her hips over mine before bringing her down hard on top of me.

  She fell forward. Her chest rested against mine. She kissed me and placed her hands on my cheeks. The fucking had come and gone. What was taking place between us had transformed into something entirely different. I think she felt it too. Our movements became less harsh, more intuitive.

  The build-up began, pressure rising in my dick, a time bomb about to blow. I had been fantasizing about having her in my bed since the moment I’d first laid eyes on her at the center.

  Bam!

  Off I went, the release out of this world, a threshold crossed—sheer bliss.

  “Aah, Ryan!”

  Her pulsating walls milked me dry, emptying me, altering me in a sense. She dropped her head next to mine.

  What the hell had that been?

  Not fucking. That was for damn sure.

  I’m so screwed!

  I breathed hard.

  That word: hard. It had so many meanings regarding me and Lizzie, except when used as an adjective and defined as not easily broken. Because sadly, I had a feeling that in that context, it would be the complete opposite for both of us.

  14

  Lizzie

  Oh. My. God. What started out as lust certainly didn’t end as such. The experience had become more meaningful and heartfelt with every breath we took. Or maybe it was just me trying to believe something that couldn’t exist. Wouldn’t exist. It had to be my mind playing games with me. It had a habit of doing that.

  It took me a few minutes to get my bearings. Once my heartbeat returned to a steady rhythm, I checked on Ryan—to read his expression.

  “Damn, woman. I think you have an evil ploy to keep me in bed all day.”

  “Doesn’t sound like a bad idea. Does it?”

  “When it’s with you it’s a great idea. Hey, guess what?”

  “What?”

  “I feel the need to shower again.”

  “Don’t tell me you’re a germaphobe, Mr. Josephs.”

  “Far from it. But after sex, I usually shower.”

  “To wash all the diseases off you from the groupies?”

  “You wound me.” His palm landed over his chest. “Although, you are somewhat correct.”

  “That’s nasty.”

  He raised a brow. “Which is why I use condoms.”

  Still gross.

  Yet it didn’t stop you from sleeping with him.

  Next thought please.

  “I’ll come clean and tell you right now, I am disease free,” I mentioned.

  “Glad to hear it. As am I. Now, shall we rinse?”

  “Hope there’s enough hot water,” I joked.

  “If not, we’ll create our own using our body heat.”

  “So smooth you are.”

  “You weren’t complaining five minutes ago. Come on. Back to the shower.” He slapped my bare ass.

  Being my hair was still wet, I didn’t shampoo.

  “You said it’s been a while for you and you’ve also told me you’re selective. Are the two related?”

  “You’re a wise man, Inspector Clouseau.”

  “Ah, ‘the crooks never sleep and neither does Clouseau.’”

  He knew the cartoon! Could he get any better?

  “More,” I begged.

  “Hmm… Ooh, I’ve got one. ‘A woman is like an artichoke. You must work hard to get to her heart.’”

  “That one is so true.”

  He brushed a tender kiss on my lips. “Is it hard to get to your heart, Lizzie?”

  My smile fell. If he truly was wise, he’d know he was already getting to it.

  “Is it hard to get to yours?” I didn’t know how else to respond.

  “I’d have to say the answer is yes.”

  “Same for me.”

  “Another thing we have in common, huh?”

  We fixed our attention in different directions and continued washing and rinsing ourselves, not on each other.

  “Don’t forget, you have a swim lesson this morning,” he said, breaking the tension.

  “Oh, yeah. I totally forgot.”

  “You’re not going to chicken out on me, are you?”

  I splashed him with water, the big tease. �
��Never. I’m up for the challenge.”

  “And I’m up for the task.”

  “Hate to tell you, but you have your work cut out for you.”

  “As I’m discovering. But as I said, I’m up for the task.”

  “Wait a minute. I don’t have a bathing suit with me.”

  He shut me up with another kiss—this one longer and more delicious.

  “You’re something, Lizzie… Wait a second. I just realized I don’t know your last name.”

  Holy cow. He was right. How awful.

  “That makes me feel terrible. You must view me horribly. Here I gave myself to you and… My last name is Shine. Elizabeth Amber Shine.”

  “I don’t think horribly of you at all. Quite the contrary, Elizabeth Amber Shine. I think you’re amazing and your name is beautiful. It suits you.” He placed a kiss on my cheek.

  “Well, I think you’re pretty amazing too. It still doesn’t make me feel better that we slept together, and you didn’t know my last name.”

  “Consider yourself one step ahead of the game. Most of the time, I don’t even know the first name of the women I sleep with.”

  My jaw fell open. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better how?”

  “Not sure.” He laughed, then tickled my waist, making me squirm next to him.

  “How do you live with yourself?” I couldn’t imagine giving my body so freely to a total stranger. Then again, it came back to the double standard thing. He was a man. In a rock band. A famous one to boot. Ugh!

  Hello? Did I not just give my body freely to him?

  “It’s tough.”

  “I’m serious. How can you sleep with random women whom you know nothing about nor care to?”

  “To be honest, it makes things easier. There are no feelings attached. My libido is happy. My ego is fed. My heart is protected.”

  “Your ego is like the plant in Little Shop of Horrors. I don’t think it can get any bigger.”

  He chuckled. “Believe it or not, I used to be shy around women.”

  “Nuh-uh.”

  “It’s true. I learned quickly that when you’re a musician, you don’t even have to try. Women flock to us. I’d heard that, but now I can attest that it’s true. At least that’s been my experience so far.”

  “So underneath that cocky exterior is a shy guy?”