An Unloved Woman

by M. A. Cameron

  The design for the Tabernacle was given to Moses, details of which can be found in Exodus 26. We could examine every aspect of the Tabernacle’s design and function, but won’t do so as all we need to know is that it was meant to speak volumes to the Israelites. It was designed to be a continual reminder of God’s holiness, his unapproachability.

  The major aspect of the Tabernacle, and hence the Temple, is that there were inaccessible areas. There was a Holy Place partitioned by a curtain. Within the Holy Place was the Most Holy Place partitioned by another curtain. The activities of the Priests reflected a Sacrificial System. Offerings were brought to the temple and the priests processed them. In this way, a continued relationship with God was maintained. The people could not approach God themselves. The curtain reminded them of this. They could only hope to secure future blessings by the actions of the priests whose role was to act as go between.

  The significance of the torn curtain can now be revealed. Upon Jesus’ death, the need for the Temple was abolished. The need for the Priesthood and further sacrifice was also rendered obsolete.

  It is clear that Jesus’ death was no ordinary one. Death is the result of sin. When Jesus, who was sinless, died, it was for sinners, not himself. He offered his life as a perfect final sacrifice, so that we who seek eternal life may have the way opened to us.

  Once the way to communion with God was barred to us. The impenetrable curtain symbolised our plight. When Jesus died, the curtain was ripped from top to bottom. The barrier was breached; we can now approach God without fear of his holy wrath. That the tear began at the top indicates that God himself was instrumental in its destruction.

  As we have observed, God must act in conformity with his nature. His holiness demands action. What follows is an expression of his wrath. When we are wronged, we act. It is usually our injured pride which motivates us and the outcome is anger. There is no comparison between our anger and God’s wrath. God’s wrath and His holiness are not mutually exclusive. God’s wrath is justified.

  Throughout Scripture, we are informed of instances where God expresses his wrath. At the same time, he is demonstrating his holiness. At Mount Sinai, the earth trembled and shook. God’s holiness was revealed in the giving of the Ten Commandments to Moses. The implication was obvious. His commands were non-negotiable. Disobedience held such dire consequences that only an earthquake could adequately reflect the outcome. Their very existence as they knew it was at stake.

  Turning back to Jesus’ death on the cross, we can now investigate the significance of the earthquake. Once more, the key to interpreting this passage is the reason for Jesus’ death. His mission in those few years, around two thousand years ago, is directly related to God’s holiness and his wrath.

  No one, then or now, can stand before God and hope to escape unscathed. No matter how hard we try, there is a contamination within us that stains our best endeavours. Our only response is to heed the warning that ‘God is a consuming fire’.

  How are we to escape this consuming fire? In Australia, there is the regular summer outbreak of bushfire. Whipped up by dry gusts of wind, whole towns have been laid to waste. In most cases, fires are not extinguished. The best hope is evacuation and containment. With God, there is no evacuation. Containment is impossible.

  Our only hope is to have that consuming fire redirected. To seek shelter from the terrifying holy wrath that threatens to engulf us. It is Jesus who steps into the breach for our sakes. He took upon himself the wrath that we deserved. And, it cost him dearly.

  It is impossible to grasp the gravity of this act. It is no wonder that the earth shook. That there was a darkness at midday that covered the land. God’s wrath was being poured out on his Son, an eternal being who had never experienced anything but life.

  The earthquake revealed God’s judgement on Jesus, as he took the sins of humanity upon himself. The torn curtain reveals that there is no longer a barrier between God and his people. A bold approach is now made possible. What of the split rocks?

  Once more, we must turn to the Old Testament to understand why Matthew recorded certain observations. In the case of the splitting of the rocks, we look to the prophet Daniel. Writing in about 530 BC, Daniel served King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon as an interpreter of dreams.

  One such dream that the king had was of an enormous statue. With divine help, Daniel interpreted the King’s dream.

  “The head of this image was of fine gold, its chest and arms of silver, its middle and thighs of bronze, its legs of iron, its feet partly iron and partly clay. As you looked, a stone was cut out by no human hand, and it struck the image…all together were broken in pieces and became like the chaff…and the wind carried them away. But the stone that struck the image became a great mountain and filled the whole earth… And in those days, the God of heaven will set up a kingdom that shall never be destroyed… It shall break in pieces all these kingdoms and bring them to an end, and it (the never ending kingdom) shall stand forever.”

  Daniel 2:31–44

  The dream that Daniel interpreted is now recognised as a prophecy. God may communicate a message to someone through a dream, vision or verbally. The person is called a prophet. The message a prophecy. The prophet has his mind opened, and God reveals to him what to say and to whom the message is for. The message or prophecy has the present in view, but it often gives an explanation as regards God’s plans for the future.

  With Nebuchadnezzar’s dream, a prophecy is provided which gives an insight into God’s plans. The prophecy, when combined with the many others, provided coalesce and we are drawn deeper and deeper into a sense of wonder as we consider God’s flawless execution of his plans. One of many prophecies, this brings us a clearer understanding of Jesus’ death.

  Daniel described to King Nebuchadnezzar the future. Its time span was from then till now and into the future. Kingdoms established and ruled by individuals would be smashed into dust by a mere stone… Whilst they looked impressive, they could not stand against it. After they had been destroyed, the stone itself would grow to replace these kingdoms. This kingdom would be indestructible.

  The key to understanding this prophecy is that we must understand that the stone is a symbol for Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus, the incarnation of God on earth, overthrows all earthly pretenders to the throne. He himself will take up his rightful place as ruler over all. The stone strikes at the very foundation of humanity’s pride and self-sufficiency. In His wake, we see destruction. The splitting rocks upon his death symbolically attest to this. Nothing remains but rubble. A new kingdom begins with coming of the Holy Spirit. What began as a fairly insignificant movement of a few hundred, is now an unstoppable force. Billions, looking at the wasteland of spiritual rubble, turn away from attempts to rebuild. Whilst invisible, the new kingdom, the Kingdom of God, has seized hearts, minds and allegiances.

  Chapter 23

  Camelot Revisited

  It is now time to revisit Chapter 10: The Perfect Hero. The question which arose in the closing lines was whether this picture of ideal manhood is a realistic one. This man of faith in God, who looks to his heavenly father in times of stability as well as hardship?

  What would have to happen for a man to relinquish his grip on self-confidence? Why would he abandon previously tested modes of response to whatever challenges now appear? How could he ever concede that there is someone who has the capacity to supply the perfect answer to whatever it may be that threatens to swamp him?

  Firstly, he must be brought low. So low that he has a sense of helplessness. He must realise that however much he may squirm, there is no way out from the crisis that threatens. The crisis does not threaten from afar. It doesn’t loom over him threateningly. It is already upon him. He can taste it, smell it, feel it. It has a finality about it. If it is not actual death, then it feels like it. There is now way to escape unscathed. He has been humbled.

  There is only one way out. He sees this clearly. He calls out to God. This call may be the first time h
e has ever addressed his maker. His call is unpolished, humble and inarticulate.

  A period of time elapses, where God graciously responds to his call for help. During this time, God gradually reveals Himself. One thing becomes abundantly clear: God is powerful. In response to heartfelt prayer, He can transform events according to the wishes of his people. He even has the power to return those who are dead to life.

  The desperate man begins to exhibit hope. As a result, his life is transformed. Instead of looking to himself in the face of life’s challenges, he looks to God. His quest for power and control are still in evidence. This is because they are habits of a lifetime. They need to be weeded out. Because of this, God continues to provide challenges to ensure that the original lessons of learning to hope and trust are reinforced.

  The question posed at the beginning of this chapter was whether this notion of the perfect hero and idealistic one.

  Thinking back to the story of Camelot, we can now challenge the notion that its end was inevitable. If we consider the relationship between Arthur and Guinevere, we could conclude that they were never in love. An arranged marriage, they would have had a bond created as they engaged with each other sexually. They would have had a connection established which resulted in affection.

  When Lancelot appears on the scene, he and Guinevere fall in love. It seems that this love was the real thing as the couple, despite having permanently separated, continue to love each other until their respective deaths.

  We empathise with the couple as they are forced to hide their love. They are swamped by the power of it. They both deeply love Arthur in a filial way. The inner turmoil must have been unbearable. Yet was their adultery inevitable? How could they ever believe that their affair would bring them happiness? Every time they made love, they would have been afraid of being caught and miserable because they were betraying Arthur’s trust. The whole mystique of Camelot, that ideal of knightly honour through chivalry, was exposed as a sham. The Knights of the Round Table failed to live up to our expectations as true heroes. Every one of them failed.

  In the face of their failure, should we then conclude that it is impossible for a man to behave in any other way other than to gratify his own desires and inclinations? My answer is no. There are still heroes to be found. Despite the overwhelming power of their love for each other, Lancelot and Guinevere’s adultery was not inevitable.

  Chapter 24

  How to Be Happy

  When we consider the powerful drive for Lancelot and Guinevere to act upon their love for each other, we may have concluded that their adultery was indeed inevitable. We are familiar with the pining, the agony of unrequited love and the tears which accompany the denial of consummation. Misery seems inevitable. In the face of their failure, should we then conclude that it is impossible for a man or woman to behave in any other way other than to gratify their own desires and inclinations? My answer is no. There are still heroes to be found. Despite the overwhelming power of their love for each other, Lancelot and Guinevere’s adultery was not inevitable.

  This is where I draw upon my own experiences. I was almost crushed by the weight of love. The temptation to draw my lover to myself was, at times, overwhelming. Yet I was given strength. For every minute of every day for over twenty years, I have resisted the temptation to act in a way which was contrary to the will of God. I have weakened on a number of occasions, but by the grace of God I was able to behave in a way which brought honour to God rather than shame.

  When I think of the time we spent in each other’s company, I am in awe. There was not one moment where we touched each other inappropriately. We never kissed or fondled each other. This is why I assure my readers that purity is possible. Adultery is not inevitable.

  Does this mean that I have been miserable for twenty years? Have I pined for him? Do I dream that someday we will be together? Yes. But these sentiments are only experienced when I lose sight of the real path to happiness.

  The pursuit of happiness is a basic human drive. Its achievement is governed by complex vagaries. For the Christian this drive is subjected to rigorous assessment. Does this drive compromise the tenants of my faith? What does God consider to be our prime concern? Does he want us to be happy? If he does, then how is happiness achieved?

  A short sentence follows which is a succinct answer to these questions. The way of holiness leads to happiness. To live one’s life in accordance with God’s holy commands, will result in the individual living a life where there is no confusion or uncertainty or inner conflict. An inner peace results when it becomes clear that God has our best interests at heart. He will not let us down.

  When we inevitably slip back into unhappy thoughts, we should view this as a warning. These thoughts indicate that there are temptations which we have not recognised and sins which have not been repented of.

  As I write, I am conscious of a gentle bubbling within me. There is joy. There is peace. I have lost the great love of my life and will undoubtedly never see him again. This is the great paradox of the Christian life. There is joy, despite tremendous, and at times lifelong suffering.

  Where does this joy come from? All emotions are a response to perception. Our interactions with others may be harmonious. In this case, our emotional response will be a positive one. I perceived the loss of the man I loved as impossible to bear. As a result I grieved and spent much time in tearful confusion. It is only upon trust in God and his wisdom that the foundation for peace and joy may be founded. Evidence of these two sentiments is proof that God’s Holy Spirit is at work within the Christian, proving in fact that true happiness can only be achieved through holiness.

  This basic formula can be relied upon every minute of every day for the rest of our lives. There is, however, an even greater reason for peace and joy. We glimpse it occasionally. Accordingly we respond and our beings are transported to a higher level of consciousness. There is a perception of reality, the realisation of which will not fail to inspire.

  This reality is the recognition of the final revelation of the identity of Jesus Christ. John the Baptist referred to him as the Lamb of God. The one who would be the perfect sacrifice for the sins of all humanity. If we return to Chapter 11, we recall that there is a declaration that the Lamb will soon be married. In some cosmic, non-temporal sense Jesus will return and the consummation of his mission will resemble a wedding. Jesus himself referred to his identity as that of a ‘Bridegroom’ (Matthew 9:15, Mark 2:19 & John 3:29).

  “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, nor crying, nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”

  Revelation 21:4

  If we fix our hearts and minds on this vision of the future, we can bear anything. Those of us whose lives resemble a parched, desiccated, wasteland are encouraged to persevere. We are not only able to exhibit perseverance. We await with breathless anticipation, the return of the Lamb. We come to realise that God has placed within our hearts a profound desire for perfect love with the perfect man. All our desires for the perfect husband find their answer in the person of Jesus Christ. It is he who we have been awaiting all our lives.

  Chapter 25

  Yearning

  Our survey is now complete. On view has been the flawed idealism of Camelot and the tragic failure of modern-day relationships to bring about the promise of intimacy so hoped for. Through the consideration of Scripture, we see the tragic results of polygamy and adultery. We also have on view, an ideal set before us in absolute terms. That is the desire that God and his people have an exclusive, marriage-like bond, which God has determined to be irrevocable. Any deviation from this incites his wrath.

  We now are able to consider our response to Agur’s prophecy. That it is prophecy, indicates a future fulfilment. As discussed it is also a present experience. How then are we to live? If we subscribe to the truth of Agur’s words, it must engender within us some response. Shall we reject his words and carry on as if we were immune to the threat of
God’s wrath? Are we to ignore the trembling and quaking which are God’s gracious acts designed to warn us of our peril?

  How are we women to live? Unloved, neglected, yet yearning to spend all the essence of our being on the one God has selected for our devotion?

  A tried and tested formula is to busy ourselves. Or we could try to ignore the passion by self-discipline. A bitterness may develop, the end result being a denial that love should have such power over us.

  This is not the way. God being God has determined that we love. He has determined the individual that we are to love. He has given us a supernatural vision of the glory of this person. To reject this experience is to diminish what it is to be truly human.

  Once more then, is the question. How do we live with this agony? This ecstasy? The answer is in redirection. God gives his love to us. Like an overwhelming torrent, we direct it toward the one he singles out for us. This love will last a lifetime. It is indestructible. It even continues after the death of the loved one.

  This is not always the case. For some reason there is no matching response in the loved one. Love is unrequited. We may fall in love with someone who is already married. We may find ourselves loving someone who is of our own sex. For some mysterious reason, God has ordained this. Yet his primary requirement is our purity. Our ‘fulfilment’ or ‘happiness’ must be subordinated to our holiness. What does a woman do when this is the case?

  Once more, I draw from my own experience. Filled with an overflow of love the expression of that love was denied me. There could be no tender words. No kisses or caresses. No love-filled nights. What should I do? Do I act on my desires and seduce the man I loved, hoping that a permanent bond will be created? No. I seize the love and redirect it so it is offered back to God.

  In practice, this redirection takes the form of sacrificial service. I may visit a sick person, volunteer my time or share a meal. Whatever the activity, the motivation is love. The love that I would have poured out on my lover is offered to God in a practical sense. Self-denial causes a kind of death to our desire for love to be returned. That is why the redirection can be described as sacrificial.