Just an Illusion--Unplugged

by D. Kelly

  “The cameras?” he asks Warren.

  I’m so stupid; in my rage, I didn’t even think to look at them.

  “Got nothing. It was just a kid. She probably paid him to drop them off, but the police will look for him, I’m sure.”

  “Come on, Mel, let me take you to the bedroom while Noah talks to Warren,” Belle offers sweetly, and Noah concurs.

  “I’ll come check on you in a few minutes, I promise,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

  Mac and Ryan are hovering in the doorway. Warren must have been briefing them while I was waking Noah up.

  Belle escorts Mel back to her room, and Rory follows not too far behind them.

  “Has anyone called Tony?” Noah asks, reaching into his pocket for a phone that isn’t there.

  Nodding, Warren replies, “Yes, Mac called him while I was on the phone with the police. He’s on his way.”

  My dad clears his throat. “Would you guys mind filling us in on what exactly this means? How concerned should we be?”

  Noah and I exchange guilty glances. Last time Sara was an issue, we glossed over the severity of her threats with our parents, making it seem more like a nuisance than anything.

  “Go check on Mel and get your phone, Noah. I’ll deal with this.”

  His expression fills with relief. “Thanks, Sawyer.”

  Once Noah is gone, Warren takes the flowers and note back to the office. “Sit,” I tell my parents and sisters now that Rory is back out here. “It should go without saying that what is said in this room is confidential.”

  Everyone nods their agreement, and Belle gives me her scout’s honor sign again.

  After getting comfortable, I begin. “After Noah and Sara broke up, she was pushing some boundaries.”

  “We know all this, Sawyer,” Mom interrupts.

  “No, you don’t. Things got a little intense for a while. Creepy letters, breaking and entering, vague threats, excessive texts.”

  “Sawyer! Why didn’t you tell us?” Mom scolds.

  “We reported it to the police. They didn’t think it would escalate further after talking to Sara, but they did their due diligence by encouraging a restraining order. Noah didn’t want that because he didn’t want to make it worse or embarrass her if she was just having a hard time handling the breakup. Plus, the unwanted publicity … it wasn’t worth it. They did warn her of the potential consequences when they spoke with her. It worked … at least it did until she showed up in Vegas and broke into Noah and Mel’s room.”

  Dad scoffs. “Jesus, sometimes the two of you still act like you’re twelve years old.”

  “Dad, I see what you’re saying, and I’m sorry we withheld the truth. You both worry about us all the time while we’re on the road. We didn’t want to make that worse.”

  The doorbell rings, and Mac comes in with Tony. We exchange knowing glances as he picks up on the tension between my parents and me. Tony was pissed at Noah for not filing the order last time, and I’m sure he’s not going to go easy on him now.

  Tony clears his throat. “The police came in behind me, Ryan took them to the office. If someone could get Noah and let him know I’ll meet him there, I’d appreciate it.” Tony heads down the hall.

  Mom stands. “I’ll go keep Mel company. If I feel blindsided right now, I can’t imagine how she’s feeling. I knew that girl was trouble.”

  Mom’s parting words bring a slight smile to my face. She never liked Sara.

  Everyone disperses, and as Noah walks toward the office, he nods at me to let me know we’ll catch up later.

  “Sawyer, can we talk for a few minutes?” Diane asks, tilting her head toward my room.

  Once we’re inside and propped up on my bed, she speaks her piece. “The parentals are pissed.”

  “Tell me something I don’t know, but even you agreed they didn’t need to know.”

  She leans her head on my shoulder. “I still don’t think they did, but that doesn’t mean you and Noah aren’t going to have to hear about it for a while.”

  “True, but it will be passive aggressive. ‘Remember that time Noah and Sawyer didn’t think we needed to know about Noah’s stalker. That was fun, huh?’”

  Diane laughs at my impression of our mom.

  “That about sums it up.”

  “What’s on your mind, Diane? I know you didn’t ask me in here to talk about Mom.”

  She kisses my cheek and leans back up against the wall, turning her head toward me. “Last night, Rob expressed his concerns about you and your Princess. He didn’t buy your just friends story.”

  “Did you tell him I kissed her? I thought he seemed a bit pushy about it all.”

  “No, I didn’t tell him. He might be my husband but … don’t get mad … I sort of apply a patient status to you.”

  “What? Why?” I’m not sure if I should be laughing or angry.

  “It’s easier. You’re famous, and I don’t want to slip up, and Rob isn’t known for his ability to keep secrets or lie. It’s one of my favorite things about him, but you and Noah are family, and your privacy is my priority. Besides, it feels nice to have things that are ours. Once you retire, though, all bets might be off.”

  “Thanks, D,” I reply sincerely.

  “Don’t thank me yet. You’re not fooling anyone, Sawyer, and I assume that means Noah too.”

  “He knows I have, or had … whatever … feelings for her already. It’s part of why he’s so tense. He’s trying to let it go. And I’m definitely letting it go. You’ve seen them, do you understand now how they are perfect together?”

  She’s quiet for a few minutes.

  “I see she’s quite taken with both of you, but yes, Mel and Noah are good together. As long as you’re okay with gaining a good friend from the deal, that’s all that matters.”

  “I don’t have a choice. I have to be okay with it because if I’m not I can’t be around them, and I’m not going to lose my brother over a girl. I fucking refuse to be that guy.”

  “Do you remember that time Noah ran out of school and saw Mom’s car in the lot? He was so excited he ran ahead into the street to get to it and didn’t look out for the cars.”

  Thinking about that day makes me shiver in fear.

  “Yeah, I remember.”

  “You guys couldn’t have been older than six or seven. I think it was right before J came to live with us. I was sitting in the car looking out the back window and yelling for Mom to look. Before she could get out of the car, you’d already run into the street and pushed Noah out of the way of that car.”

  “In the moment, it seemed like that car was going so fast, but I realized it wasn’t when it hit me. I barely bounced off the bumper.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Sawyer. That’s the kind of man you are, the kind of brother you have always been, and when you start to feel shitty about arbitrary feelings you’re not acting on, you remember that day.”

  Her words wrap around me and fill me with a feeling of peace. Remembering that day makes me feel like less of an asshole.

  “Sawyer, just so you know, I saw the whole thing. That car would have hurt Noah. The driver saw you running and slowed down. She didn’t see Noah, but she saw you.”

  My door flies open, and Saylor runs and jumps onto my bed. I’m grateful for the distraction. This conversation was getting a bit too heavy for the holiday.

  “Uncle Sawyer! I’ve been looking for you!”

  I pull her into my lap and tickle her until she’s gasping for breath. I can’t believe how much I love this little girl. Finally, I show her some mercy and release her. “Why were you looking for me, Saylor? Is Grandma giving us cookies yet?”

  She wears a pouty face. “No, I tried, but she said later.”

  “Bummer.”

  “Yeah, totally.”

  She cracks me up.

  “Can we go sing in the garage?”

  Ah, my little songbird wants to go
practice.

  “That depends. What are we singing?”

  “Mommy taught me a new song!”

  “Oh yeah? What did your mommy teach you?”

  Saylor smiles brightly as she begins belting out the lyrics to “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper.

  The twinkle in Diane’s eyes is proof enough to know she did this on purpose.

  “You’re the devil,” I tell her as I jump up and grab Saylor, throwing her over my shoulder. “You got it, Say, let’s go make some music!”

  She squeals, and Diane waves at us from my bed.

  After the Sara stuff Thanksgiving morning, the rest of the day flew by peacefully. We all ate and drank too much and it was over far too quickly. I slept off my turkey coma and actually slept in this morning. By the time Darren knocks on my door and pokes his head in, it’s already mid-morning and the only thing I’ve done today is shower.

  “Ready to go through the groupie condoms?”

  He doesn’t seem as excited about it as usual, and neither am I.

  “Do you even want to do it? It was fun in the beginning, but honestly, now it just kills my faith in humanity one condom at a time when we find the ones that have been tampered with.”

  “Damn, dude, you literally took the words right out of my mouth. There are some vicious bitches out there.”

  I grab the trashcan and carry it over to the drawer the condoms are in. “Just be thankful you knocked Belle up because you decided it was worth the risk and not because some girl tricked you.”

  “There should be a way to countersue bitches for that shit.”

  I shrug my shoulders. “You’d have to prove it first.”

  As I open the drawer, Noah pops in.

  “What are you doing?” he asks as his brows furrow and his eyes widen.

  I dump the condoms in the trash. There must be at least a hundred of them. What a waste of good latex.

  “We never finished the groupie condom game from the last tour and decided we’re done and don’t want to do it anymore. I’m dumping the contraband.”

  Noah collapses on my bed and runs his hand through his hair. I nod to the door, and Darren leaves us alone, closing it behind him.

  “What’s wrong, Noah?”

  I take a seat next to him, and he scrubs his face with his hands.

  “The night we got back from the tour, I was out of condoms. I came in here and got some.”

  Oh shit. Now him teasing Mel with the condoms the day before Thanksgiving makes even more sense.

  “How many did you grab?”

  “Four or five?”

  Shit.

  Darren and I have kept a rough estimate over the years. Typically, one in every three condoms is tampered with.

  “Did you use them all?”

  He nods.

  Double shit.

  “I never paid much attention to what you guys do, just that you got a kick out of it. Do you keep any stats or anything?”

  Do I tell him?

  Of course I do.

  “Just an average.”

  “What is it?”

  I wish with everything I have I didn’t have to crush the hopeful look on his face.

  I reply with a whisper. “One in three.”

  “Oh God,” he moans. “I’ve got to tell Mel, she’s going to freak.”

  “Isn’t she on the pill? You’re probably fine.”

  With a self-deprecating laugh, he answers, “Believe it or not, she’s allergic to birth control.”

  “That’s a legitimate thing?” I’m shocked.

  “Yup, I looked it up. The numbers are low, something like one in a thousand women will be allergic to some form of birth control. Mel hit the lotto. She doesn’t even want kids.”

  That’s so messed up.

  “Can she take any, or she’s totally allergic?”

  “I’m not sure. Maybe it’s just the pill because she mentioned an IUD.”

  Relief floods through me for him. Nothing would kill Noah more than knocking Mel up and her not having the kid. He’d support her choice, but it would break him. Noah wants a family more than anyone I’ve ever known.

  Clapping him on the shoulder, I try to reassure him. “I’m sure it will be fine. Even if you got a bad condom, the chances of knocking her up are super small. You’re clean, and if she hasn’t been with anyone in a while, I’m sure she’s clean too.”

  “Yeah, you’re right. She’s clean, we talked about it.”

  “I wouldn’t tell her, Noah.”

  “How can I keep it from her?”

  He really needs to lose the nobility every now and then.

  “Easily. If she doesn’t pop up pregnant, there’s nothing to tell. You’re both clean. It’s too late for the morning after pill. All you’re going to do is scare her and worry her for the next month or two. If she does get pregnant, confess. Sometimes asking for forgiveness is easier than the drama of the immediate truth.”

  “You know, Sawyer, sometimes I question your judgment, but when you lay things out and explain them, you make a lot of sense. Thanks. I’m going to take your advice. If you tell Darren, ask him not to tell Belle.”

  “You got it. I think you’re doing the right thing. We’ve all got enough to worry about right now anyway. Speaking of, if you haven’t talked to Mac, all the security is in place for tonight, but they had to make some seating changes at the bar to accommodate the extra guards.”

  “Whatever, I don’t care as long as everyone has coverage. I can’t begin to tell you how much I wish I’d never let Sara into our lives.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up about it. You did something right somewhere because Mel doesn’t seem like the kind of woman who will end up stabbing your bunny or anything.”

  He laughs. “She boiled his bunny, but you’re right. Mel might have her own baggage, but she isn’t crazy.”

  “What baggage are you worried about?”

  “Eli. I still can’t believe he’s going to be there tonight.”

  My laughter pisses him off.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You. Eli isn’t a worry, she loves you. He’s history. He fucked someone while she was pregnant and she lost their baby. I don’t care how much she loved him, there’s no coming back from that. Princess isn’t that forgiving.”

  “Why do you like him?” Noah’s shoulders tense up as he glares at me.

  “Why do you hate him? Eli is harmless. It’s not like we’re friends, but he’s an okay guy. I’ve never heard him say a bad word about anyone, and he’s never been a dick. In my book, that makes him a decent guy.”

  “He rubs me the wrong way. He’s too perfect, too wannabe Justin Timberlake or something. And it really doesn’t help that Mel misses his friendship.”

  Ah, now we’re getting somewhere.

  “She’s allowed to have friends, and it sounds like he used to be almost family. You know what they say: keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Kill him with kindness and make him understand what used to be his is now yours. It’s been what, twelve years? If she wanted him back, she’d already have him. Seeing him tonight isn’t going to automatically make her pussy weep with joy.”

  “You’re such a dick.”

  “Maybe, but tell me I don’t make good points.”

  Noah walks to the window and looks out at the ocean. “You do. Thanks for the pep talk. I need to go wake up Mel and get ready if we’re going to make it out of here on time.”

  “Yeah, I guess I need to shower and get ready too. I’m excited about tonight. Just an Illusion has always been my favorite place to play.”

  Leaning against the doorjamb, he pauses. “It’s mine, too, and it’s great for J’s business. Who knows, maybe after we’re done touring we can do some showcases there just for fun. It would bring him a ton of business.”

  I try not to show him my excitement. “That would be pretty cool. Just like the old days.�
��

  “Yeah, I think we should plan on it. Think the guys will be in?”

  “Absolutely.”

  When Noah closes the door, I exhale a huge sigh of relief. Having him bring up doing more shows in the future means so much to me. Knowing this day is going to be a great one, I’m on cloud nine as I get into the shower.

  Just an Illusion

  As soon as we arrived to prep for the show, we hit the bar for a couple of pre-show drinks.

  “I can’t believe this is our last gig at Just an Illusion,” Wyatt muses over his beer.

  “That’s just sad,” Darren replies, tossing back a shot of tequila.

  “What do you guys think of doing some shows here down the line? Just for fun, like back in the beginning. It would probably boost J’s bottom line too.” Noah glances between them to gauge their feelings.

  “I’m not a charity case, Noah,” J grumbles.

  “Calm down, J. This is more for us than you. You just get to reap the rewards. If you want us, that is.”

  He pours me a shot of tequila. “You know you’re always welcome, all of you. I just don’t want to be part of your equation. Do this for you, not for me.”

  “I’m in,” Darren says.

  “Me too, wouldn’t miss it,” Wyatt answers.

  “Are you going to invite me to come watch?” Warren asks, sounding sad.

  “What the hell, Warren? You’re one of us, you better fucking be here!” Darren yells, and I understand his feelings completely. He’s sort of out of a job now that we’re not touring anymore. I know he’s looking forward to some down time and more time with Sam, but this affects him too.

  “Sorry, guys, I’m feeling a little out of sorts. The label wants me touring with a new band next year, and Sam wants me to fully retire. I want to stay on in a limited role to manage you, but I’m not sure it’s possible.”

  Warren knocks back his shot of tequila, and I clap him on the shoulder. “Do what makes you happy. Do you even want to keep touring?”

  “With a bunch of newbies? Hell no, I’m too old for that shit. But the thought of not working at all and not working with you isn’t appealing.”