Earth Cat Zero: Last Cat Meowing

by Gary Starta

  - Moscow, Russia – “Nyet, no. I haven’t seen your kowca!” The man continues sweeping the roadway wearing a scowl, oblivious to his neighbor’s panic.

  - Sao Paulo, Brazil – “El gato!” A woman runs in front of a horn blaring truck, desperate to find her grey Tabby cat.

  A rap on the glass office door signaled time was up. Max motioned his hand for Normand to enter while the director wrapped up one of a dozen calls that he had fielded in the past half hour. In that interim, he could speculate, duck and weave. Now he would have evidence of the intruder.

  “I’ve got the photograph, sir. It’s a cat, just as I suspected.”

  Max frowned while he held the photo up to the light before turning it horizontally and vertically. “I see a cat. But the colors…”

  “I know, sir. The computer doesn’t lie or make a mistake. That kitty is blue as the sea and green as the grass.”

  “So be it. But if it’s an atomic anomaly it’s come and gone just as quickly as the particles appeared and left the collider. I’ll have to make sense of this to my superiors, to the very people who funded this acceleration, Normand. Can you tell me, is there anything I’m missing?”

  Normand took a seat and propped a hand underneath his chin. “I’d say you’ve got a missing cat.”

  “But I just told you. If it’s quantum, it’s come and gone.”

  “We can’t be certain. I know my sweeps tell me it’s gone…” Normand sighed and shook his head from side-to-side. “I think we have to examine every angle if you want a correct assumption.”

  Max waggled fingers. “I do. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “We need to look at this from all angles. We don’t think an ordinary cat could have penetrated the lab, not to mention the collider. But if this is a quantum event, we have to consider the cat was tangible for me to see it. I propose we not only look for it at the atomic level but also at a quantifiable one.”

  “Are you proposing what I’m thinking?”

  “I am. We need to see if this cat transported itself out of the lab and exists in a matter state. We need to put out a plea - maybe even a reward - to return a lost cat.”

  Max ran fingers through his hair. “I agree. It must be specific to the immediate area, at least at first.”

  Normand laughed but it was filled with concern. “I know. It’s going to be hard for anyone to believe a blue and green cat is on the loose. I would recommend only local TV, radio and Internet.”

  Max fiddled with the photo wondering just how hard it would be for his investors to understand the very same premise.

  “OMG” Miranda’s incoming text was from Leesa.

  “Are you watching the news?”

  “No. We’ve been busy. Still trying to find Joule.”

  “Have you updated your phone?”

  Miranda swiped to see her home screen and then slid her finger to allow all updates to appear.

  Additional pings from Leesa went unanswered. With her mouth agape, Miranda scrolled through dozens of headlines from around the world. All had one common thread. House cats were missing! Everywhere!

  Miranda texted her friend. “I’ve got to go. TTYL.”

  Caron appeared in the doorway of her daughter’s bedroom. “Are any of those pings about Joule?”

  “I wish…I mean. Maybe…” She swept a hand through her bangs. “Mom, I think a whole lot of cats are missing. Unless it’s fake news, Mister Skittles is gone as well. I didn’t even ask Leesa about him.” Mister Skittles was Leesa’s multi-colored cat who had impregnated Joule during a weekend sleepover.

  Caron stood with hands on hips, flustered. It was the same pose she struck when dealing with Mike. Aware of her aggressive posturing, she slid her arms downward, so they were flush against her body and forced a smile. “Sweetheart. If there is anything I can…Wait a minute, the news?”

  Miranda grabbed Earth Cat from his newly discovered cat bed and headed toward the family room with Caron in tow.

  “Mom. I’m afraid Joule’s disappearance is not unique.” With one arm cradling Earth Cat like a loaf of bread, she squeezed what seemed to be an unwilling remote to turn on the flat screen.

  “Here, let me try.”

  “Mom, if you had given me Alexa for my birthday, we could have voice activated the TV.”

  “I know.” Caron waved a hand. “But there are privacy issues. I don’t need everyone hearing our every word.”

  Miranda sighed. “Not everyone cares enough to hang on our every word.”

  “Maybe not everyone but there’s enough strangers hooked into that virtual personal assistant to hear us.” Caron grimaced and shook the remote as if she wished it had voice activated controls. “Come on!”

  Miranda peered into Earth Cat’s dark blue eyes and began a girl-to-cat conversation. “She doesn’t know it can’t hear her. I bet you don’t want to be stuck with 20th century technology.” She held the cat in her lap, so it was on its hind legs. “Care to dance, Earth Cat?” The feline mewled.

  “Just remember every advance in technology is an encroachment on privacy.”

  “Yes, Mom. Duly noted.” She tapped a finger playfully on the cat’s nose. In turn, the cat’s tongue protruded from its mouth.

  “I know you find me overbearing at times, Miranda; but at least I don’t play the passive aggressive game.” Earth Cat retracted his tongue.

  Miranda covered Earth Cat’s ears. “Such language in front of our guest.”

  The remote responded but begrudgingly, tuning to a default setting, WHAM Channel 13. In the wintertime, the station was like a friend to Miranda, verifying school closings when blizzard conditions gripped the island. Today, it was more like its evil twin, confirming the very worst thing a child could hear.

  “It is feared thousands if not millions of domesticated cats have gone missing within the last few hours. Officials at both the state, city and national level have yet to release a statement at this time. However, locally, the director of Brookhaven Laboratory in Upton is asking your help to identify an oddly colored cat seen last in the vicinity of the facility’s grounds sometime around 2 p.m. today. Anyone who has information can contact the laboratory at…”

  Caron held both hands against her cheeks and gasped while the broadcast depicted an artist’s rendering of a blue and green house cat.

  “Okay, Mom. I’m sorry. I really am.”

  Caron remained silent.

  “Mom, you’re scaring me.” Miranda nestled Earth Cat against her cheek. “Mom, do you hear me?”

  Caron just stood with hands on face, complexion as white as a sheet.

  After a long moment, Caron acknowledged her daughter. “I am sorry too, sweetheart. And Earth Cat…my apologies as well.”

  Miranda beamed. “Then everything is okay, I mean with Earth Cat?”

  “Miranda, didn’t you hear the newscast? Officials are looking for a blue and green cat…”

  “I know you’re concerned this weirdness is connected to Brookhaven. Whether it is or isn’t, I love my new friend.”

  “This is more than just high strangeness. Maybe you’re in shock or even denial over Joule – I know I am – but we have a duty.”

  Miranda hugged Earth Cat tighter, her smile still wide but now her lips were trembling, and tears were spilling down her cheeks. “Oh, sorry, Earth Cat. There, there.” The teen brushed a hand along the cat’s whiskers as if attempting to keep the cat dry. “You’ve gotten wet enough for one day.”

  Caron returned to her aggressive posturing, hands on hips, face contorted in a grimace. “You know what we have to do.” When Miranda didn’t respond, she cleared her throat a few times.

  “I know. I know…” Miranda’s voice trailed into a feint squeak, encumbered by sobs.

  “I know it’s for the best. We can find out what they know, sweetheart.”

  “Do you seriously think officials care to share, Mom?”

  “We can barter. Rememb
er…poker face? We’ll bluff them to give us info so we can find Joule again.”

  Miranda scoffed. “We’re sunk if our only plan is poker face, Mom. Let’s just say it’s not your strong suit.”

  Caron took a seat on the sofa next to Miranda and tapped a hand on her daughter’s thigh. “I know what my strong suit is. It’s science, it’s observation, it’s research. All puzzles have an answer.” She paused. “It angers me that the mass media can only turn to hysterics during a crisis. We must look at this rationally, calmly.”

  “I don’t know. I suppose so. I mean, I can’t have another cat taken from me, Mom. Deep down I don’t think anyone knows where Joule is not to mention millions and millions of other beloved pets.”

  Caron nestled an index finger behind Earth Cat’s ears. “I know. He has grown on me rather quickly as well. But he is an anomaly. I think he could be the anomaly to explain this strangeness. Besides, he doesn’t belong to us. We’re not his rightful owners.”

  “OMG. What if he is part of some experiment? What if they need him to continue it?” Miranda’s bottom lip trembled. “Mom, we not only have to think of the law but morality. We can’t subject him to more experimentation.”

  “Sweetheart, I can’t say you’re wrong but there’s no evidence of that. He is not tagged or numbered like a lab animal.”

  “Oh, really. What if he has a chip?” Earth Cat’s tongue again protruded from his mouth, doglike.

  “We will make sure these officials don’t play with us, sweetheart. Don’t worry, I won’t let them take him away without an explanation.”

  “Normally, I would laugh at your overconfidence. But I know - I know dad knows – you’re not an easy force to dismiss.”

  “Oh, do you?” Caron laughed. “Thanks for your support.” Wending her hand from Earth Cat’s ear to Miranda’s tummy resulted in some very impromptu squeals.

  “Ooh, ooh. I’m ticklish, Mom.” Laughter morphed with pain and tears.

  Earth Cat appeared to look on with disinterest, staring off into space as if he didn’t want to expend any brain cells attempting to understand the contradictions of human nature.

  Chapter Three

  “The best chance to not only contain this situation but also correct it lies right in that olive-green house.” Max Schultz tapped one hand on the steering wheel while pointing the other at the Long Island home. The car was parked on the street and contained three Brookhaven officials.

  Inside the home was the blue and green cat Normand Toews captured via thermal imaging within the confines of the RHIC collider. Nothing made sense about this the whole scenario: a blue and green cat existing in atomic form, a blue and green cat existing in physical form, a blue and green cat possibly responsible for making every domesticated feline on the planet disappear with his appearance. Maybe the two women in the house could provide answers but it was a longshot that anyone could explain the oddity in its entirety.

  “We must meet our objective.” Brookhaven Security Chief Richard Catalina said echoing the Brookhaven director. He removed his police cap and put it into the glove compartment in front of him.

  Seated in the back with hands folded, Normand Toews felt the urge to make the sign of the cross but resisted. It’s not that family’s fault. The thought sickened Normand but also made him want to laugh at a twisted thought in his head. Who thought splitting particles would cause such a great divide? Normand daydreamed about chronicling the events in some sort of paper, maybe even a book. What the director and security captain were referring to by objective was securing the cat at Brookhaven and that objective would mean parting the animal with its new owners.

  “Hey, Normand.” Max had repeated himself. “Did you hear me? Are you ready?”

  Normand nodded and grabbed the door handle still lost in thought. What if this cat can literally move molecularly? Here I am struggling just to get out of a sedan. Normand wondered if the cat might be able to transition at will, possibly vanishing into thin air as it seemed all the cats in the world had done. He didn’t want to add more theories onto Schultz’s heaping plate of responsibility though.

  Schultz stood at the point of a triangle in a final conversation with his two subordinates underneath an oak tree which covered them in shadows. “We must be tactful in meeting our objective.” He took turns gazing at Toews and Catalina. “We must be grateful that this woman, Caron Ellis, contacted us voluntarily. Please remember this.”

  Catalina standing with hands on hips nodded while Normand acknowledged with a verbal “understood”.

  The trio had begun their march to the home when Normand continued speaking. “You know the odds are fascinating. Imagine the woman who finds the cat is a Brookhaven employee.” Normand caught a glimpse of Catalina’s face and the man was not pleased or fascinated. He seemed to find this conclusion irritating the way his frown lines deepened. Possibly, because Caron was an employee, Catalina knew he couldn’t get away with any false promises or any fabrication of how protocols worked at the lab.

  A knock on the door sent the neighbor’s dog into a frenzy. “At least man’s best friend is still with us.” Normand bit his lip at the comment. Just shut up Normand. Your poor conversational skills will probably only make this harder on the family. He imagined the mother’s daughter would be reluctant to give up the animal so easily whether she was a Brookhaven employee or not. Family considerations should always come first. He wished he could make it easier on them. He chided himself for never being able to say the right comforting words to loved ones; it had cost him two marriages so far. When are you going to learn that lesson, Normand? Family always comes first.

  Caron opened the door with Miranda peering over her shoulder. “Please come in.” She offered a polite smile and appeared to be putting on a professional face for the occasion with makeup, a stylish dress, designer shoes and braided hair. Who hangs around the house looking so made up? Normand smiled at Caron with appreciation. Schultz vocalized the gratitude with a handshake and smile. Normand didn’t fail to notice the girl’s hesitance to shake hands or even crack the slightest smile.

  “Gentlemen, this is Miranda, my teenage daughter.” Miranda rolled eyes. “Mom, I think they already know that.”

  Miranda’s tone was full of disdain. Normand realized that because Caron was a Brookhaven employee, mother and daughter probably already knew security officials had rummaged and leafed through every detail of their personal lives.

  Captain Catalina smiled as his gaze drank in the house’s décor. “Very nice home. I am so glad one of our own found our mystery animal. I’m hoping it will make things go a lot easier for all.”

  Normand didn’t fail to notice Schultz’s angry gaze at the captain. Boy, the captain sure doesn’t understand the definition of tact, rapport or even gratefulness. A trifecta!

  Normand scanned the room as Schultz began speaking about how the lab could benefit from every detail or memory the family could remember. The engineer took note that not one family photo on the fireplace mantel contained a picture of a father.

  Caron gestured with her arms. “Please take seats.” The trio sat on a print couch with Schultz in the middle. Caron offered water, tea and coffee but had no takers. “Well, I guess we will get down to business. I am not going to pretend not to be aware of why you are here. I’m sure you’re going to need more than answers, aren’t you?”

  Miranda retreated to the edge of the room which led to a hallway with a shiny wooden floor. “I guess I’ll get the cat carrier.”

  Caron resumed once Miranda was out of sight. “I have a very vulnerable daughter who feels responsible for losing our cat named Joule. I can only speculate as a physicist that her fear about causing this event somehow can be scientifically validated.” She nodded as is if in agreement with herself. “So, you see, if I’m already thinking some kind of ‘event’ occurred at Brookhaven, then I’m sure you’re already three steps ahead of me, gentlemen.”

  Schultz spoke with arms sp
read. “I am personally grateful, Caron. I can’t say that I know how it feels or even that I know you personally.” The director paused. “I wished I was fortunate enough to have had you working for my team. I wouldn’t have let you go on sabbatical so easily.”

  Normand listened intently as if waiting to hear a pin or possibly a figurative shoe drop in response. The director had taken a pretty big leap with his praise. What if the woman needed her leave for health or other personal family matters? Normand wondered what the director and security captain knew about Caron that he didn’t. He was certain any information released was on a need-to-know basis and his pay grade didn’t allow him to see personal files or even resumes like managers did. Normand speculated the woman was separated if not divorced from her husband.

  Caron faked a laugh and called for Miranda. “Sweetheart, is everything okay with Earth Cat?”

  Normand and the director laughed. “Earth Cat?” Schultz repeated. “That’s quite a name, isn’t it, gentlemen?” Catalina smiled eventually caught in a stare down with his superior.

  “I think it’s not only accurate but endearing.” Normand coughed into his fist after making the statement.

  “Well, I am certain you’ll want to see just how accurate that name is for our new friend.” Caron paused to embrace her daughter who had just placed the cat carrier at the men’s feet. “I just want to be clear that this cat, no matter how odd the circumstance, seems to fit the destination of a stray and because of that we feel obligated to make sure Earth Cat stays safe. Bottom line, we are owners of said Earth Cat. We request a signed agreement regarding any examinations you may make with the feline. After all, Earth Cat does not have a voice in the matter. Miranda and I will not waver on this.”

  Normand felt inspired and awestruck by the woman. Here she was, telling her former employees how matters would be handled. She didn’t seem at all fazed that her austere stance on the matter might mean she would never be returning to her position.