Earth Cat Zero: Last Cat Meowing

by Gary Starta

  Normand sighed. “I wasn’t sleeping well before this all happened. Now I’ll have all this time on my hands to worry. I better reorder all my anxiety meds.”

  “Did someone mention meds?” Dr. Brands strolled through the doorway, shaking an accusing finger in jest. “Didn’t your mother ever warn you about drugs and their aftereffects? Don’t worry, Normand. I have some concoctions the FDA has never dreamt of testing – pardon the pun. I’ll hook you up.”

  Normand repressed an urge to laugh. He couldn’t decide which was most funny: Brands’s inappropriate comment or the look on the face of Supervisor Chen.

  A knock on the opened door interrupted. “Normand, please come with me.”

  “Yes, Captain Catalina. Normand rose and shook hands with Schultz and Chen before departing.

  Brands sighed. “It’s a wonder you’ve accomplished anything with so many rules.”

  “Doctor, please sit down.” Brands smiled and took Normand’s vacated seat. “This is Amy Chen, she’s our head of human resources.”

  “I’d be happy to put you in touch with my employers.”

  Schultz smiled for a brief second. “Wait. How did you know that is why we called you?”

  “I confess. I have certain technology implanted in my brain and I can sense the presence of things even when I can’t see them. It’s a gift of my employers.”

  “I’ll bet it is, Doctor.” Schultz said. “It’s probably a gift from your employers to alert you of any unwelcome visitors. And, as an eyewitness, I don’t think you do so well in crowds.”

  The doctor’s mouth opened. “Oh. Maybe that was the catalyst with Earth Cat Zero. Maybe it was the crowd’s energy or even the sensor that connected me to the cat’s vibrations yesterday. If so, I shouldn’t avoid it; I should run toward it.”

  “Well, now is not the time. I am sure Captain Catalina will get the crowd under control.” Chen said handing the doctor her cell.

  “Oh, no thank you. I cannot call from any cell. I will call my employers. Just a moment.”

  The doctor pressed a few buttons on his watch.

  “Please put me through to Major Gould.”

  Four Star General Andrew McEvoy repeated his statement. “We are all certain this is a secure line, Major Gould.”

  The major realized that even though his superior phrased his statement without a question mark, it was his duty to acknowledge and take responsibility for the phone line they spoke on at this moment. Without a proper security sweep, every call could be subject to unwanted surveillance.

  “All in order, sir. Yes, sir.”

  “Very well. I understand the unusual nature of your request and I will forgive the interruption via phone – this time. So, tell me Major, why do you think we should risk playing our hand in this incident?”

  “We cannot establish if the said incident at Brookhaven is confined to the actions of the research laboratory, nor can we be certain the appearance of named cat in my report has been determined to be non-hostile, non-alien or even a non-created weapon engineered by a hostile nation slash planet. We will need further study of this matter by Dr. Brands. I assess we should cooperate with said laboratory in further acceleration research to determine above concerns. I recommend we do not allow any civilian or government agency to impede research until all questions are answered.”

  “I agree with your assessment. However, you and I both know that this is shaping up to be another weapons race.”

  “Agreed, sir. We cannot allow the incident in question to be used as a technology- based weapon unless said weapon is under sole control of the United States.”

  “You will continue to assess the incident and will make a determination if this acceleration incident was induced as a foreign initiative. You will utilize any and all black budget funding to achieve this goal as a priority one assignment.”

  “Understood, sir. The urgency and nature of this matter compels me to recommend that this be classified as a matter of national security.”

  “Very well. I will make certain the Secretary of Defense apprises the Commander in Chief of this request. Anyone who opposes the accelerations will be considered an enemy of the state. Carry on, Major Gould.”

  The disconnect left the general with ringing ears, a condition of tinnitus brought on by years of testing weaponry. Why weren’t particle accelerations being considered as part of our black budget operations? The general had to admit the standing president was not very amenable to funding science research unless it could be used to weaponize. If this wasn’t a fluke, it was genius. Collider accelerations would not be as obvious or tangible as missiles and if this incident was engineered it, was a brilliant plan.

  The DOE is just as interested in acquiring weapon technology as they do energy technology. They just don’t make a habit of announcing it. General McEvoy was not about to let the DOE best the DOD on what might be the super weapon of the century.

  The general sat back in his recliner, gently rocking it to alleviate the well of stress and tension this said incident would invite until he considered that much of the DOD’s work would be done for them.

  That Ellis woman will spin this so it would be a crime not to get our cat population back. Yet, more critical thinkers may see through that veneer. She must convince the population that the collider and its capabilities are dependent on national, maybe even planetary security. The U.S. cannot rest until we know this is not a foreign induced incident. But until then…McEvoy thought leaning back in his chair. We’ll let the love of kitty cats be the ball of string that will guide us to victory.

  Chapter Ten

  Public protests, media blitzes and global gossiping had shaken the digital world, competing and winning attention for the most talked about topics on social media - ever. Cats: Where have they gone? Why do we miss them? - a feature film - was already in production. Grumblings and rants against further collider accelerations came from terrified civilians and clashed against support from corporate interests who would benefit from a restored feline population via cat food, litter and toy sales. Eventually, an announcement from the president made it clear which path would be taken to restore the pet population and anyone opposing such tests would be charged with treason.

  The atmosphere on the plane ride to Chicago was turbulent at best, at least in the figurative context. The buzz of anxiety and anticipation was palpable to Miranda Ellis and made her consider in what ways she may have been changed in the event. Could I have become telepathic, empathic? Immersed in their media content, the passengers were quiet and subdued. Miranda Ellis feared it was a brief respite before yet another storm if her intuition was correct.

  Hugging the cat carrier to her chest, Miranda attempted to send soothing thoughts of comfort to Earth Cat Zero who had been allowed to ride first class instead of being regulated to the baggage section of the plane. Beside her, sat Dr. Brands, who wore a pensive look which was almost out of character from the zaniness he had shown a day earlier. A federal marshal seated one row ahead of the trio traded glances between the doctor and Miranda every now and then.

  “Cat got your tongue?” Miranda spoke in a whisper.

  “Hmm. Funny, Miranda. I can’t say I’m not worried.”

  “About the procedure?”

  “No. No. That will be a piece of cake. It’s the press conference.”

  Miranda felt some relief that at least the strange man spoke candidly.

  The realization that her mother, Caron, would literally face the world in the first streaming press conference held since the incident also loomed large in Miranda’s mind. It was scheduled later this afternoon, giving Miranda, the doctor and Earth Cat Zero time to settle into their Chicago quarters. Miranda had to wonder if her mother could remain honest in the heat of white-hot spotlights back in Manhattan.

  Miranda believed the conference, scheduled at the Time Square’s Crowne Plaza, would only be a spectator event for her. Politicians and police promised answers wo
uld be given at the conference in an effort to appease and satiate the masses hungry for solutions. NBA players, Hollywood actors and reality stars begged for everyone’s patience via an onslaught of prerecorded public service announcements.

  The ride from the plane introduced Miranda to the CTA, the Chicago Transit Authority and its infamous Loop where the trio rode the Blue Line. A recorded announcement rang ominously: ‘Smoking, littering and gambling are prohibited on CTA vehicles.’ Miranda wondered if they’d soon have to add odd science experiments to the ban.

  Brands remained silent on their destination and Miranda was too timid to push the doctor further on just where they’d be taking up residence. After all, this was the first time she was alone with the man, and in a few minutes, she’d be isolated with the doctor without the benefit of citizens and police at her beck and call. Would this man cause me to scream for help? He had instructed her to keep her cell off until they reached his office. For whose benefit would that serve.

  The teen kept her inner resolve intact by remembering she was Earth Cat Zero’s chaperone. She had already failed Joule. She would not fail a helpless pet again.

  Traversing Madison Street, the unique and eclectic architecture of the city competed for Miranda’s attention; it was both historical and futuristic glimmering and shimmering in amber and bluish hues. She stole a glance downward at the cat’s carrier every now and then to make sure her grip on the carrier’s handle was firm.

  “Don’t worry, Miranda. I will remedy Earth Cat Zero’s safety concerns.”

  The response was bareboned and cryptic. As she walked, she wondered where this man’s office was as the area seemed to be a commercial district. Signage for the Bulls and Blackhawks adorned posts and digital media flashed ads for the Shedd Aquarium and Adler Planetarium.

  Brands motioned with his hand for Miranda to follow toward a beige, rectangular building proclaiming itself to be the United Center. Another wave of his arm initiated a loud clack and a glass and steel doorway opened. Unfamiliar with sports, Miranda imagined it was some sort of United Nations building for covert science projects. But once she was up the steps and into the building, she noticed concession kiosks along with a ticket counter. Who would sell tickets and candy for such experimentation?

  Brands unbuttoned his sky-blue windbreaker and laughed. “My dear, forgive the DOD’s sense of humor. They believed hiding in plain sight would be optimal. And in a way…it is.” Posters depicting star players of the Bulls captured Miranda’s attention.

  “What are you saying, Doctor? You live in a basketball arena?”

  “Technically above it. You see, sometimes we are above the wooden floor, sometimes above the ice depending on the sporting event. But right now, it’s quiet; well until they hold those rock concerts; nevertheless, I sleep soundly at night thanks to the best sound proofing technology can buy.”

  “And your bird lives with you?”

  “Yes, come on. Red will be glad to see you. Ah, I can’t speak for his feelings toward Earth Cat.”

  Brands utilized a remote to command an elevator upward. “Please be careful not to leave your prints anywhere. To the public, I am a ghost…and well, uh, to be honest, now you are too, at least while you’re living here.”

  The confines were comfy once Miranda exited the sterile white hallways into an apartment which was painted in teal to the contrast of stark white leather couches and recliners. A small kitchen and a workspace colored in charcoal grey were separated by a partial wall to the right; to the left, sat Red’s cage and a door to a bath. The floors were tiled green in the kitchen and wood flooring and turquoise throw rugs adorned the remaining living space.

  Miranda seemed to mouth her concern aloud. “Bedrooms?”

  Brands again produced a remote from his pocket and the wall behind the couch rotated and spun revealing additional space. Somehow, it appeared the bedroom - lavished in deep purples - was overlooking the city.

  “Is this a hologram?”

  “It isn’t. It is an actual view of the city. Although no one can see in. It is still a wall, impenetrable yet permeable. But it is tech the DOD affords me to live in such secrecy. I did not invent it, nor do I have the luxury of time to figure out how it works.”

  Miranda set her carryon down and wheeled her luggage trolley toward a corner. “Huh. So, they bribed you? I got to say it’s not making me very comfortable, but I have to admit my body does want to fall into that white leather couch.”

  “My payment has to be untraceable, my dear. I hope you understand. I do get certain benefits. Well, take a load off.” Miranda acquiesced, loosening a cherry red speckled scarf she had worn around her neck.

  Brands scampered to the refrigerator for a pitcher of water. “One moment.” After refilling Red’s bowl, he filled a glass for Miranda. “I hope this will feel like home. I can’t even pretend to be a stand in for your mom, and I won’t pretend to be.” He filled another glass for himself and raised it in a toast. “Salud.” Miranda knew from her Spanish class that he meant ‘good health’. She felt a tinge of emotion for the man who had sequestered himself away in the name of science. Maybe, in time, he would come to feel like an uncle to her.

  “I admire your courage, Miranda. I know you are doing what you feel is best for the cats. I just hope my work will give us answers in that quest.”

  “And your work…is?”

  Brands set down his glass on a wooden coffee table and plopped into a recliner. “I will be adding some brain matter tissue into Earth Cat Zero. It will be fine. It won’t hurt him.”

  The cardinal chirped in an electronic tone. “The doctor is right. I never felt a thing…and still don’t.”

  Miranda’s mouth fell open and she leaned forward.

  “Well, how do you do?” The cardinal asked.

  “I am…fine? You?” Miranda realized her banter was canned conversational small talk. “I am sorry. I don’t want to downplay what is going on here…with you. You are amazing.”

  “I wish I could be more amazing outside of these walls.”

  “I am sorry, Red. Maybe with the announcement about Earth Cat Zero, you will.” Brands fiddled with his glass.

  The doctor had received some encrypted emails during the flight which had explained it would be better to reveal Earth Cat Zero’s speech was engineered instead of natural. He explained to Miranda that the idea was to make the government slash military appear in control of the situation. Miranda could only wonder how hard animal rights activists would take this news.

  “But if we announce we are subjecting Earth Cat Zero to tests, won’t it spark further outrage?”

  “That’s where you come in.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Oh, we will be part of the press conference today. There are cams strategically located on the walls and they’ll make us appear to be speaking from the hotel in NYC.”

  “Wait. My mother…no one told me I was going to be speaking.”

  “You do feel that gifting Earth Cat Zero with speech is best, don’t you? I mean he will be able to tell us where he’s been, where he may come from. It may aid us to get the cats back. I thought you consented to this procedure…”

  Miranda buried her head in her hands. “I did. I do. It’s just that…”

  “I give you my word my procedure will be humane.”

  “You had said you had done experimentation on yourself?” She peeked at him from behind splayed fingers.

  “Quite correct. It’s probably why I had that reaction to that frequency emanating from our blue and green friend.”

  “You have foreign brain matter implanted in you?” She dropped her hands from her face.

  “Oh, but not any brain matter. It’s relative, so to speak. It came from my uncle, Claude.”

  “And…where is he?”

  “I don’t know to be honest. He comes and goes. That is why we did this. He wanted me to possess his knowledge in the event he is no longer with us.”
Brands leaned forward and released Earth Cat Zero from his carrier. “Unfortunately, I also get a healthy dose of my uncle’s craving for junk food.” Brands ran a hand along the cat’s spine.

  “He’ll sniff around I suppose. Get used to the digs. But once he has speech he can converse with Red, for example. They won’t have to be afraid of each other.”

  Red chirped.

  “Uh, how does that work? Is the bird or animal just going to begin conversing like a human?” Miranda cupped a hand around her chin.

  “Exactly.”

  “What makes them any different from a humans? I mean, will they still be animals?

  “Very much so. Red was kind of shy; now he has some strong opinions from his bird’s eye vantage point. I imagine Earth Cat Zero will finally be able to speak for the cat populace. He will be able to tell us why he cries or moves his tail a certain way.”

  “I see.” Miranda leaned back onto the couch feeling a bit woozy from the surrealistic reality Brands had painted.

  “I know it’s a lot to take in. I also want to assure you the cat will not feel any discomfort from the oral surgery I will perform. I believe the cat will have a much easier time being accepted by society if he doesn’t speak like a robot.”

  “Uh…but getting back to the brain implant. How does that work?”

  “I will grow organic brain matter using the cat’s spinal fluid.”

  “And you did the same for yourself?”

  “I used my uncle’s. But the difference is that I won’t be sending electric currents into Earth Cat Zero’s brain. I do that to stimulate the additional brain matter I have. There are times when I want to consciously access my uncle’s memories to gather data for experiments, for example. But we may not have always have to induce a higher frequency to induce increased brain activity. It is why I still believe animals are already naturally intelligent and possess a greater capacity for knowledge than we can imagine. The gift of speech will prove this. And believe me, my dear – after having many late-night conversations with Red - the animal will still be itself.”