The Rabbi Who Tricked Stalin

by Mordechai Landsberg

A closed yellow brown “old fashion ambulance” was driving on the open road. Its destination was a white building in a deserted Estate of a Russian noblemen from the Tsar’s time, as was written on the Crossroad Signpost, showing the direction.

  The vehicle entered a paved street of small houses and huts. At its end was rising a low hill. The car stopped at the gate of the old Russian Estate, on which an old placard had remained, reading: “Udvajnikov Esate”- with black XX smeared on it. It was attached to the iron gate, which was painted in a faint yellow color.

  Over that placard was a large new plateboard, stating in Kyril letters: ‘Lunatics Asylum – named after G. Plekhanov’.

  A long, high fence, fixed over 1.5 meters high wall- surrounded the asylum’s area. It would let everyone looking at – understand that he faces a public institution, as also witnessed by its external negligent sight: The building had not been whitewashed for a very long time, nor had its wild growing plants and grasses been taken care.

  There were two control Towers seen in a distance, one in the east - the other in the west. The guard who was seated up at the western one, saw the arriving yellow ambulance, hanged on the ‘field telephone’ of that time, and called somebody.

  “Thank you,” said a male’s voice on the line, “I get to you soon. Let them wait.”

  A man dressed in a white overall went out from the Asylum building, passed the gate and approached the vehicle.

  He was the Psychiatrist Doctor Pavlov, dressed in white neat medics uniform. His age was about fifty, his dark and somewhat grey thick hairs were shining in the morning sun. He waved his hand to the ambulance driver – and to the patient’s escort, who was no other than Tall Aliosha from Gepau Minsk.

  The psychiatrist signed him by his palm to enter the gate, then told the Gatekeeper: “Take a care, that the driver will not enter here. After my patient and his escort go down - the car has to leave.”

  Then Pavlov rushed to the car, and spoke with Aliosha, who had opened the right front door and got down, facing him.

  “Good day, I’m one of the doctors here,” Pavlov introduced himself, and Aliosha pointed on the Rabbi who was seated inside.

  “We should first take the patient to the reception office,” remarked Pavlov, “there we’ll check all the documents.”

  Tall Aliosha walked to the right back door, opened it and grabbed Rabbi Aaron by his hips and made him stand on the pavement. He then took him by his elbow, giving him his right hand. On Aliosha’s left arm was hanging a leather tarpaulin backbag, which he also grabbed by his palm.

  Doc Pavlov was leading the two men into a wide corridor with a vaulted ceiling. Soon they came to the asylum’s Reception Window, and were waiting. A a woman opened it and saw Aliosha waving her with some documents, that he had pulled out of his leather bag.

  “What’s the patient’s name?” asked the woman clerk who was seated there.

  “Hittin, Aaron.” replied Aliosha, and handed her the papers.

  “You take him to room number ten,” she told Doc Pavlov – while she handed to Tall Aliosha the room’s key. She delivered him also a white medics’ uniform parcel, which he opened and looked at it with surprise. He saw that it included a long white ‘robe like’ dress, which he first ‘measured without wearing’ it, then wore quickly on his uniform.

  Soon doctor Pavlov indicated Aliosha and ‘his’ patient to follow him. They left the main building by the back door, and walked with Rabbi Aaron to a long hut, Number 10. It was at the middle of a row of identical huts, not far away from the Main Office. The hut was comprised of three separate apartments. The three men walked into the central one, and Aliosha opened its door with his key.

  Both he and the doctor pushed Rabbi inside, and heard him grumbling. They surveyed the room, which was 3X3 meters. A bed was at the left, covered by clean sheets and blankets.

  The two ‘medics’ moved the Rabbi, who was standing and waiting - to sit down on his new bed. Aliosha laid the back-bag on the rough cement floor, near the bed. The Rabbi bent downward and murmured some syllables, that no one understood. Tall Aliosha and Pavlov went out, after locking the room.

  “What was there in that back bag?” asked Pavlov, while they were strolling on the narrow cement path, leading between the long huts.

  “The Rabbi has there his Talith, the Jewish white prayer cloth. He has added to that- two cubic tiny boxes, tied with balck strips. It’s a sacred article called: Thfilin.”

  “Why should he need these here?” asked Pavlov.

  “His good wife had brought all that to the police station, hoping that his condition would improve, so he would use them while praying.”

  “She isn’t a wise woman,” said the manly Psychiatrist, “like most of women are. She thought, that we would host a man, who is aware what a prayer is? Such a man is normal, from our point of view.”

  The two continued their conversatiom outside of Rabbi’s room, having nothing else to do. Only at one oclock at noon- lunch would be served to the staff. The menu will be a sour cabbage soup and rough ham sandwitch, or some bones soup with fifty grams of salted chicken’s meat. It was stored in a quite primitive ice-blocks frigider.

  Doc Pavlov and Tall Aliosha continued to walk slowly on the narrow path between the huts. After some additional steps the doctor stopped, and turned back to the direction of the Rabbi’s room. Tall Aliosha looked at him, and followed him.

  “Doctor,” he said ,”My boss asked me to twll you- that you have a short time to make your analysis and inform us. A week. Gepau needs an absolute conclusion about that case.”

  “I know. Comrade Antonov demands that always.” said Pavlov, and Aliosha nodded.

  “I’ve already made my personal simple observations of this patient,” boasted Aliosha, “I’ll report it to Antonov, of course; but you have to prepare a scientific report, based on an accurate and precise analysis. . .Antonov is a man who likes surprises. I know him. Therefore I was ordered to continue tracing the Rabbi’s behavior here.”

  “My impression is – that the Rabbi maybe very sophisticated,” said Pavlov.

  “If he is really. . .I mean: objectively and undoubtedly insane - will you be able to name the type of his mental disease? I hope, that one day I can myself study psychiatry. It sounds interesting to me…”

  Aliosha’s red face exposed his shyness, being a normal youngster, wishing to be sympathized by a mature Doctor.

  “Nowadays,” said Pavlov, “in our regime – this science is not so helpful. Neither to you nor to society…” He looked around. “Hopefully,” he added – “You won’t chat about that. It’s only my private point of view. You can decide for yourself if you want to study it.”

  “Thank you,” smiled Aliosha.

  They returned to the Rabbi’s and found him lying on the bed. Pavlov raised him to be re-seated. He looked at his long robe and helped him to put it off. Rabbi’s grey trousers were revealed, and the psychiatrist looked at his knees. Rabbi Aaron had never been checked before by a psychaitrist. He wondered in what manner would that curious man try to humiliate him. Does he intend to sit on his knees, or ask him to shake himself, or croack like he had been a cock?

  Doctor Pavlov pulled out a small hammer from his trousers’ deep pocket, and Rabbi Aaron became even more worrried, thinking the doc would strike his head. But Psychiatrist Pavlov was bending beside him, and began clapping on his knees’ caps quite delicately.

  “Even if you don’t understand what I’m doing,” told him Pavlov, and exchanged looks with Aliosha, “I am testing your body reflexes, O.K.? Now, open your mouth.”

  Rabbi was silent, immovable, without showing any sign of understanding.

  Doc Pavlov’s raised his hand, still grabbing the tiny hammer. Rabbi Aaron thought he would now clap on his head and maybe break it. However, Pavlov’s fingers pushed the Rabbi’s bearded chin downwards, then by his other hand he grabbed his nose, pulling it upwards. Doc Pavlov
indicated Aliosha to send his finger into Rabbi Aaron’s open mouth, and cause his teeth to be seen. Rabbi thought that his teeth would now be broken by the psychiatrist, as his hammer began clicking on them, (including on one iron teeth, that had been set in his mouth after being broken by Aliosha in the past).

  When Pavlov had finished his mouth check, he continued to talk to the Rabbi, gazing straight in his eyes. He mimicked his face to resemble a monkey, making it ugly and deformed. Then he tried to immitate a baby’s whimpering, while changing his distorted face. But the Rabbi continued to remain immovable.

  Pavlov issued his tongue toward the Rabbi, widened his eyes, then his fingers grasped the bottom of his beard. He indicated Aliosha to grab one side of the seperated beard, and his own hand was holding the other. After a short while he and Aliosha released the beard and Pavlov raised Rabbi’s capshaded cap from his head. He saw his ‘reserve cap’, removed it and put both hats on his own head. . .

  Pavlov understood he had failed to move his patient to any kind of reaction, protest or smile or sob. He returned the hats to the Rabbi’s head and looked in his face.

  “You see this nice youth?” he asked Rabbi Aaron, pointing on Tall Aliosha, “He suspects, Rabbi, that you are a pretender. My role is - to be on his side. Though my conscience is on the opposite: and I think you’re innocent…Show me that you understand me, for God’s sake!” he shouted on him, like begging his mercy.

  Rabbi dropped his eyes, and Pavlov’s fingers forced his face to stare at him again.

  “You see my dilemma, Rabbi? It’s bad, that you show yourself so coward. That you do not admit your understanding of me. . .By the way: Have you ever read Dostoyevsky?”

  Rabbi Aaron never heard that author’s name. He did not reply.

  “You don’t force me to behave like the Interrogator of Raskolnikov,” said Pavlov.

  Suddenly the Rabbi roared like a lion. He folded his fingers to make his fists like a beast’s paws, and was waving them toward Aliosha.

  ‘If I behave like King David,’ he thought, ‘I’ll scare you, Goliath!’

  “Very nice of you to react like this,” complimented him Pavlov, “You want now to say something, Rabbi. Isn’t it so?” he asked.

  Aliosha looked at the Psychiatrist, expecting that now something would develop.

  “Ahhah!” roared Pavlov at the Rabbi, mimicking him, “You Just admit, dear lion, that your madness is a fraud!”

  Rabbi laughed loudly and sent his tongue out toward Pavlov.

  The psychiatrist raised up his hammer from the floor, and put it back into his pocket. Then he requested something from Aliosha, who pulled out from his pocket a short document and gave it to the psychiatrist.

  “If you really admit fraud, Rabbi,” continued Pavlov, “Gepau will recommend on you to leave our beloved country… with your family. I have that in writing, here.”

  The Rabbi did not move. He raised his hands and brought some hairs of his beard into his mouth, and tried to bite and chew them by his teeth.

  Then he looked at the doctor, balling his eyes. uttered a momentary giggle, but suddenly stopped. Then he pinched the Psychiatrist's nose, and was holding it fiercely. Aliosha gazed at Pavlov, as asking if he would need his interference, but the doctor raised his hand in a sign of ‘hold on’.

  Doc Pavlov was speaking to Rabbi in an “under-nose tone”:

  “Let me go, maniac!” He told Rabbi Aaron, who remained quiet. Now Pavlov counter-attacked: He pinched the mad Rabbi’s nose. By that he surprised him, and the Rabbi’s momentary fright enabled Pavlov to snatch his nose from his adversary’s grip.

  The Psychiatrist was standing at the Rabbi’s bed, thinking about that boring and bothering situation. He tapped Aliosha by his sleeve.

  “Enough for today,” he said, and they left Rabbi Aaron alone.

  They walked on the narrow passage leading to the asylum’s office. There Pavlov met two colleagues, and began chatting with them. Aliosha went to the phone and talked to Antonov.

  CHAPTER 37