Key Lime Pie Perjury: Cozy Mystery (MURDER IN THE MIX Book 34)

by Addison Moore

  Carlotta chortles as she turns my way. “I was a good girl last night, and I’ll be a good girl again. Don’t wait up, Lot.”

  “I won’t,” I say as I head into the house and scoop up Pancake and Waffles as I land on the sofa.

  My phone goes off, and I pull it off the coffee table and glance at it.

  More good news from the fine people at the Beware app.

  Botched robbery in Leeds. Armed suspect fleeing on foot. Beware.

  “Beware indeed,” I say, tossing my phone back where it came from.

  Noah and Everett are keeping secrets from me. But are they keeping secrets from each other?

  And then there’s that killer on the loose.

  “Charlie was right,” I whisper into Pancake’s ear. “I’ve got trouble coming at me ten different ways, and I spread it around to those I love.”

  Waffles yowls as if protesting the thought.

  I wish I could protest it, too. But I’ve got a feeling there’s a whole lot more trouble coming up ahead.

  Noah

  The first thing I see when I arrive at my desk the next day is a note sitting on top of it. It’s folded in half, no envelope, so I pick it up before I take my jacket off and quickly unfurl it.

  I believe you have my briefcase.

  My heart stops cold.

  “Noah?” Ivy calls from behind me, and I nearly jump right out of my skin as I slap the note to my chest.

  She frowns over at me. Ivy has her hair in that signature bun, those dark-framed glasses of hers that make her look as if she’s gunning for Lainey’s job as head librarian up in Honey Hollow, and a pale blue file in her hand. “Forensics,” she says as she tosses it down onto my desk. “Love note?” She lifts a brow as she looks to the note I’m clutching to my chest.

  “Oh right.” I work my way to my chair and quickly shove the note into the top drawer. “So forensics came back?”

  “Last night. I sent you a text, but you never returned it.”

  “Sorry. I was about halfway here when I had something come up at the house, so I had to turn around.”

  “Another Lottie Lemon emergency, I’m presuming.”

  I twist my lips because she happens to be right, although I didn’t realize it at the time. In truth, I didn’t want the security company calling the cops in the event they ventured to my room and found a cache of cocaine under my bed. Although I could have played an angle and suggested that someone planted it there, but my fingerprints are all over that damn thing.

  Ivy shakes her head. “Noah, it’s pertinent the two of us solve this case. Sheriff Turner has gone one step ahead with his threat to add another detective to our department. Rumor has it, he’s started the interview process. You and I both know that we don’t have the funds for that. Where do you think they’re going to get the money? From our paychecks, that’s where.” She scowls my way. “Find a way to control that meddling girlfriend of yours, or we’ll both need to sell illegal substances on the side just to put food in our mouths.”

  “Ivy.” I lean back in my seat as that coke runs through my mind. In a way, I’m already one step ahead of the game. “Don’t worry about Lottie. I’m on it. And if another detective is brought on board, I highly doubt Sheriff Turner is going to dock our pay. It’ll all work out.”

  She gives a long blink as she spins on her heels. “It sounds as if Lottie’s Pollyanna attitude is rubbing off on you. She’s going to cause your ruin one day, Noah. Mark my words.” She shuts the door on the way out, and I pull that paper out of my drawer and stare at it one more time.

  I believe you have my briefcase.

  Lottie isn’t going to cause my ruin. My father has usurped her in that arena.

  I fold that piece of paper a half a dozen times and shove it into my pocket before zipping it tight.

  The weather report said it would be hovering around eighty degrees later this afternoon, but you can bet this jacket isn’t going anywhere until I get home.

  A breath expires from me as I consider everything that happened last night.

  Lottie was inches from that briefcase. Heck, her foot could have bumped into it when she was standing near the bed. Charlie knows I have it. Could that be why Charlie broke in to begin with? Somehow I doubt it. Charlie doesn’t strike me as the type who would want to make a fast buck off a briefcase full of blow. Nope. In fact, if anything, she’s trying her best to keep her nose clean. Pun intended.

  My fingers tap-dance over that forensics file, and I peel it open only to find pictures of the injection site staring back at me. Duncan Spears’ killer had to work fast, stab him with that needle through the jacket of his suit, through his dress shirt and a T-shirt underneath that. The means the killer must have come at him with force, with sheer determination to get the jab done. I pull open my drawer once again and glance at the suspect list I compiled.

  Karen Collier.

  Lottie spoke with her at the rental shack that day at the lake.

  Lorelei Mulligan.

  Again, Lottie spoke with her at the B&B during the mommy and me class. I’m sensing a theme here. But in Lot’s defense, I was with her both times.

  Then there’s Enya Cristóbal, Lottie’s next suspect and mine. And rounding it out is Henrick Dayton, Duncan’s cross the lake rival.

  It’s time I rolled up my sleeves and did a little digging around the internet to see what I can come up with concerning the four of them. I reach for my keyboard just as my phone pings, and I pick it up in the event it’s Lottie. Every time my phone pings, rings, or spins in a circle, I’m half-convinced it’s an emergency concerning Lyla Nell. I can’t help it. She’s my angel, and I’ll do anything to keep her safe—including purchasing her a brand new car. I still can’t believe she called Everett Dada. I’m with Carlotta. That was nothing short of a case of gas.

  I fish my phone out of my pocket, and it’s not Lottie. It’s Jimmy Canelli.

  Cold feet, Detective?

  No, I don’t have cold feet. I’ve got ice racing through my veins instead. If Jimmy Canelli wanted to get under my skin, he’s done exactly that. Now to stave off a bullet or two from doing the same. My hands are tied. I have to keep Miranda safe from the disease my father has inflicted upon everyone I love.

  The hit against my father might be from Lazzari, but in an effort to stop it, I might just be pinning a hit from Canelli on my back as well.

  I shake my head at the irony. In an effort to give me protection, Canelli has decided to pull me into ten times the trouble.

  I don’t bother answering his text. Instead, I pick up the file Ivy gave me and head out the door. I’ve got someone to see about a certain briefcase.

  And it’s not Lottie Lemon.

  Everett

  My phone pings, and it’s a text from Lemon.

  I’ve been at my desk since dawn in preparation for the trial coming up in an hour, and just seeing her smiling face on my phone makes me want to shove the entire desk to the side and get home to her and the girls.

  At the bakery. Just made up a couple of fresh key lime pies to bring home! Dropped the baby off at the B&B so I could sort out the madness in my office. Main Street is a mess. No end in sight for the construction. Don’t make any plans for dinner. I’ve already made them for you. Hope you don’t mind! But great news—The Bar Brawl has a full menu! I’m off to spend the rest of the day with the baby. Can’t wait to have a hot date with you tonight! Key lime pies for dessert!

  I text right back. Only if you’re wearing it. And you will be wearing it.

  My phone pings again. Wearing it? Sounds like a sticky situation is at hand. A bath will be mandatory afterwards.

  A quiet laugh rumbles through me. Afterwards? Try round two.

  She shoots back a half a dozen blushing, laughing, heart-shaped emojis as a knock erupts at my door.

  My secretary didn’t call, so that means it’s an automatic approval. My lips curve as I eye the door. It’s Lemon. It has to be. She’s just as anxious to rechristen my cham
bers as I am. The text was a good cover.

  “Come in,” I say as the smile I’m fighting does its best to take over.

  And in strides—

  “Noah,” I grunt, and any trace of happiness on my face does a disappearing act. He looks alert, angry, and a little frazzled at the same time. “I need to be in court in an hour. What’s the matter?” I lean back and fold my arms across my chest, awaiting a response.

  He plops into the seat across from me and scowls. “I saw that smarmy smile of yours when I walked in. You thought I was Lottie.”

  “I was hoping. What’s the matter, princess? Are you brooding because you don’t bring me the same level of joy?”

  His cheeks flex as he plucks something out of his pocket and flicks it across the desk. It’s a piece of poorly folded paper—Noah’s doing, I’m guessing.

  I open it up and glance at the threat.

  “So?” I fling it back his way. “If it wasn’t sitting in a pool of glass from a newly broken window, I think that was a rather civil form of communication. In fact, I wish Luke Lazarri’s men would be so cordial.”

  “I found it on my desk. On my desk. At work. Do you know how many levels of clearance they had to go through to set foot in my office?”

  “Since this is the Ashford Sheriff’s Department we’re talking about, I’m going to guess none.”

  Noah rakes his fingers through his hair as he lets out a breath of frustration.

  “Everett, these men are not going to wait forever. And did you know that Lottie was in my house yesterday? In my bedroom?”

  “What?” I sit up and scoot close to my desk. “When was this? What did she want?”

  “She was topless.” Noah’s brows hike along with his amusement. “She was with Carlotta, and they saw the light on at my place after I left last night. I guess you were in the shower. So the two of them hopped across the street, only to find Charlie in my bed.”

  “Not an uncommon occurrence.” I frown over at him. “Just a quick side note, I wouldn’t fornicate with Lemon’s sister. It’s bad form. Find someone new to play with. Preferably someone who’s not wearing my wife’s face.”

  He glowers at me a beat too long. “The point is, Lottie could have found that briefcase. It was under my bed. She was inches from it. I need to make it disappear. We were supposed to come up with a plan, remember?”

  “I remember,” I grunt back. “Did you say she was topless?”

  He flicks his fingers. “Yeah, they all were. There was a catfight involved. Lottie’s shirt ended up on the ceiling fan.” He sheds a greasy grin my way. “Just like the good old days.”

  “Cling to the memories. You always did have a mind like a steel trap.” I tap my hand over my desk. “All right, Noah. I said I’d take care of it, and I mean it. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do, but I guarantee you both of our briefcases are about to do a disappearing act, and we’re not going to hell in a handbasket because of it.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m doing this to protect the people my father inadvertently put in danger—Miranda, every guest at the B&B, Lottie, and the kids.”

  I close my eyes a moment. “Lyla Nell is at the B&B with Miranda. Lemon just let me know she was wrapping it up at the bakery and that she would be picking her up soon.” My head bobs as I stare vacantly past him. “This needs to be taken care of in the right way or it could cost us everything.”

  “Just out of curiosity, who do you think would shoot first? Luke or Jimmy?”

  “Jimmy has always been a little jumpier than Luke. But Luke is deadlier.” I lean back in my chair once again. “We need a fall guy.”

  Noah glares at me a moment. “Why do I get the feeling I’m your fall guy?”

  “If I were a tit-for-tat kind of a guy, you would be right. I nearly went into lockup because of you. Because I went along with your harebrained scheme, I now have to deal with a target on my back. Florenza Canelli was a curse. I told you to stay away from her dead body.”

  “You didn’t go to the morgue that night for me. You went for Lottie.”

  “And Lemon went for you, so don’t ever try to push this off on her again or I’ll have to give you a beatdown.”

  “You’ve never given me a beatdown, Everett. What were you going to do? Smack me over the head with your tennis racket?”

  “It might have done you some good.” I reach over and wield my gavel in his direction. “My weaponry is far more deadly these days. Try me.”

  My phone pings again, and it’s Lemon.

  I’m home. My mother actually drove Lyla Nell over. By the way, I just found your briefcase in the hall closet. I could have sworn you left with one. I must be losing my mind. If you’re looking for it, it’s here.

  I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding as I slide my phone to Noah and he quickly reads it.

  “Don’t worry,” I tell him. “I’ve got Luke’s briefcase with me. That’s my own briefcase she’s looking at.”

  “Tell her you forgot it.”

  “She’s too smart. At this point, she probably already suspects I have two. I’ll leave it at that.”

  Noah cocks his head to the side. “Wait a minute. Yesterday at that yoga class for babies, Lottie asked if I had a briefcase. She said she was interested in picking one up for herself and asked what kind I had.”

  “If I didn’t know Lemon, I would dismiss it as a coincidence.”

  The room stills as Noah and I stare one another down. It’s clear Noah doesn’t believe in coincidences either.

  “Do you think she knows?” My adrenaline kicks in just thinking of how many levels of danger this could thrust her in.

  “There’s only one way to find out. I’ll dust the briefcase for her prints. God knows mine are all over it, but I have hers on file. I should be able to figure it out pretty easily.”

  “Dust for prints? Lemon’s prints?” I squeeze my eyes shut tight. “She’s not the bad guy here. On the other hand, if she knows about our briefcases and what they contain, who knows what trouble she’ll find herself in.”

  He nods. “Do you really think she’d keep that information to herself? I mean, you’re sitting on a pile of cash, and I have enough dust in mine to fly me to the moon. I’d like to think she would have confronted us by now rather than keep it to herself.”

  “Just the way we’re keeping it to ourselves. If she does know, she is not amused.”

  He shakes his head. “It’s bad enough we have to outsmart Jimmy and Luke. Now we have to outsmart Lottie?”

  “I’m not sure we can. Hell, I know we can’t.”

  Noah nods. “We might have more to fear from her than either of the two mob families that are after us combined. She said no more secrets. And she will make us pay.”

  Something tells me I’ll be paying a hell of a lot more than Noah will.

  And that seems par for the course.

  Lottie

  I am not amused.

  Both Everett and Noah are keeping things from me.

  Big things.

  Horrible things.

  Dangerous things.

  And here I thought we were all through with keeping secrets. I thought the three of us were bonded in ways that others could only hope to be. I thought we were different, special. And both Noah and Everett might just say that those things are inherently true, but for whatever reason, they feel the need to protect me. I’m not sure how or why, but I have a feeling in my creaky bones that those briefcases and their nefarious contents are somehow related to me.

  As soon as evening came, Noah offered to drive Carlotta and me down to Leeds where we’ll be meeting up with Everett for dinner at The Bar Brawl. We’ll also be meeting up with the next suspect on our list, Enya Cristóbal. Since Meg is in the know regarding everything that takes place in the seedy town, she made a few calls and made sure Enya would be working tonight. It turns out, Enya is the manager of the establishment and loves to interact with the patrons, so things should move along swiftly once we get there
.

  I had asked Evie if she could watch her sister for a few hours tonight, but she said she had a hot date with Conner. She asked that I pass that information on to her father when I saw him later that night.

  I could have told Everett that his words would explode right back in his face, but I guess there are some lessons we all have to learn the hard way. Anyway, I no sooner asked my mother to watch Lyla Nell than she jumped at that chance.

  “Do you think we should pay your mother for her time when she’s watching Lyla Nell?” Noah asks as he helps me out of his truck.

  “Are you nuts?” I balk. “She’s her grandmother. She’s practically an extension of me. Nobody is paying me to watch her.”

  “That’s brilliant, Lot!” Carlotta says, adjusting her fishnet stockings. She’s donned a hot pink dress that’s more than a little too short and paired it with those atrocious pantyhose that make her look like a streetwalker, but since Leeds is famous for its gentlemen’s clubs, Carlotta might just blend in. “You keep pumping out the Little Yippers for Foxy and Sexy, then start charging them by the hour to keep track of the rugrats. I can be your assistant, but just a heads-up, I charge double.”

  “No, thank you on all counts. And Noah, my mother is thrilled to do it. She said Wiley went to a men’s Bible study, so she was all alone tonight anyway. Lyla Nell really loves her. You should try to talk your mother into spending a little more time with the baby. Just because Suze isn’t my biggest fan, she shouldn’t take it out on Lyla Nell.”

  “I don’t think she’s taking anything out on Lyla Nell.” Noah glances to the sky as if he were at a loss for words. “She’s just not fond of babies. Or people.”

  We share a feeble laugh on Suze’s behalf. Noah looks dapper in a tweed jacket and jeans. He came home from work early and spent time with Lyla Nell and me, doing his best to get her to say Daddy but to no avail. I assured him it would happen and that babies don’t talk at three months. But he assured me right back that Lyla Nell was brilliant. I couldn’t argue with that.