Key Lime Pie Perjury: Cozy Mystery (MURDER IN THE MIX Book 34)

by Addison Moore

  Carlotta does a double take my way. “Are you…? Is she…?” She sucks in a sharp breath. “Run!” She starts to dart off, and I catch her.

  “I think you should stick around and see what else the good doctor knows. She might just teach you something else tonight.” My lips curve as I look to the redhead before me. “Karen said you did some secretarial work for Duncan.”

  “That wasn’t a secret.” Her voice shakes when she says it.

  “She also mentioned that you and Duncan were having a heated argument, that you had nothing but bitter things to say about Duncan. Lorelei, I think before you ever stole from Duncan you were his girlfriend.”

  She lifts her head as if I struck her.

  “But he left you for Enya, then Britney,” I go on. “And he wouldn’t even give you the money you needed. Why not? He lent money to Enya.”

  Her jaw stiffens. “And that’s exactly why he couldn’t help me.” She huffs at the thought, “He said he wasn’t made of money. The hell he wasn’t. He was through with me and on to tall, wiry, gray-haired Enya, of all people. So I helped myself to the pot, so what? He hardly noticed.”

  “But he did notice. And he was going to turn you in, wasn’t he?”

  Her eyes close tightly. “I couldn’t let that happen. I had already been humiliated the year before when my ridiculous husband left me for that tramp. I would rather die than go through that horror again.”

  “But you didn’t die. Duncan did. And you made sure that happened. You had access to the needles and the potassium chloride because you did consulting for the Posh Pet Stop. You devised a plan to kill Duncan on a night when both Enya and Karen would be present, knowing full well you were the least likely suspect.”

  She looks to her left before pushing both Carlotta and me away with a violent shove and running down the parking lot.

  Pretty Boy roars with a ferocious bark, and he sounds as if he were the size of a Rottweiler rather than a cantaloupe.

  I take off after Lorelei, and Carlotta springs into action by my side. Lorelei crests the corner, and as we follow suit, I spot Charlie and Manny Moretti having an argument on the pathway that leads to the B&B.

  “Charlie!” I shout. “Stop that woman!”

  My sister looks up, and without hesitating, she runs full force and tackles Lorelei to the lawn.

  I leap on top of them and do my best to restrain Lorelei, but she proves to be tenacious. The bottom of my dress flips over my back, and Lorelei snatches Ethel right out of her holster.

  “I’m sorry, Lottie,” she pants as she points my own weapon right at me. “My car is just a few feet from here. I’m going to have to ask you all to stay put.” She points the gun at each of us in turn.

  “Why go after Britney?” I ask as my hands float toward the sky.

  “Killing Duncan was so easy, so very satisfying. I would have stopped there, but I had brought a spare needle. She was so smug on his arm that night. She was just as smug as that tramp who stole my husband. I hated her—and that night, I hated Britney, too. I thought a double homicide would throw the sheriff’s department in a few more directions. It would give me time to get my life organized enough to get out of town for good.”

  “How dare you hurt my Duncan!” Pretty Boy bolts her way and attaches himself to her face as he does his best to gnaw it right off her body.

  Lorelei bucks and screams as she tries to shake him off despite the fact she can’t see him.

  “I’m sorry your husband hurt you,” I tell her. “I think you could find a very good defense lawyer to help you through this legal nightmare. I truly believe that, Lorelei. Put the gun down.”

  “No!”

  Two shots are fired in quick succession.

  One from Lorelei pointed in my general direction and one from behind.

  Lorelei falls to the ground, her shoulder quickly blooming crimson.

  “Lottie!” Noah roars from my left.

  “Lemon,” Everett calls from behind, and I turn to see him handing a gun to Manny Moretti.

  “Everett, did you shoot her?” I marvel.

  “I had to,” he pants as he wraps his arms around me. “I saw you bolting, and I took off after you. Manny had his gun poised, and I snatched it from him.” He runs his lips over my face. “Are you okay?” He pats my sides down. “Are you hurt?”

  “I’m fine,” I say as we watch Noah tend to Lorelei. “She confessed. She did it. She killed Duncan, and she tried to kill Britney, too.”

  Carlotta comes this way holding Pretty Boy in her arms. “Just my luck, looks as if we’re getting stuck with a bossy little—”

  A smattering of stars ignites around Pretty Boy as he begins to rise to the sky.

  “Don’t fret, Carlotta!” he shouts as he continues to rise ever so higher. “I’ll do my best to try to train you from the other side! I left a biscuit on your pillow as a treat. Be a good girl for Daddy!”

  And just like that, Pretty Boy is no more.

  Carlotta gives a hard sniff. “I might just miss that little rabble-rouser.”

  “Really?” I ask. “I thought for sure you’d be a little relieved.”

  “Oh, I am, Lot. I was about to haul him over to the nearest celestial fire department. He was one little spook I couldn’t wait to get rid of. But I’m gonna miss him nonetheless.” She offers me a wry smile. “Bet you’re wondering if I missed you once I dropped you off.” She ticks her head. “Sorry, Lot Lot, but once I took off, I started a dance party that only ended once I set foot back in Honey Hollow two years ago.” She looks to Noah and Everett. “And sorry to you, too, boys. She really does know how to kill a good time. I bet that’s why the two of you have been so testy lately. You’ve finally figured out you’ve landed yourself a dud.”

  Charlie steps up. “There’s still time to upgrade to me,” she teases.

  “Do you know what I want to upgrade to?” I ask. “The truth. What happened between the two of you and Rooster?”

  Carlotta scowls over at me. “See there, Cha Cha? Didn’t I warn ya to stay in Higgins Bottom? Lot’s like a shark when it comes to getting the truth out of people. And face it, Rooster is just blood in the water.”

  “Speak,” I growl at the two of them. “Who robbed who, and why did poor, innocent Rooster serve time?”

  “Poor, innocent Rooster?” Carlotta shrills. “That man is about as innocent as a wolf with a leg of lamb caught between its teeth. He knew full well he was going to rob that liquor store that night and he had me hold the bag. Only I didn’t know I was robbing it.”

  “That’s right,” Charlie growls. “And he had me run to the register and empty the cash drawer.”

  Everett sighs. “And what exactly was Rooster doing?”

  Carlotta and Charlie share a glance. “He was sitting in the getaway car.”

  Noah grunts, “How in the world did you get roped into doing something like that? You both sound pretty guilty to me.”

  Carlotta lifts her chin. “It was Rooster’s store. Or so we thought. He told me he owned a liquor store, and I believed him. It was in the next town over, and he was always coming by my place with fancy bottles of liquor. I said to him one night, ‘If I didn’t know better, I’d think you owned a liquor store.’”

  Charlie nods. “Turns out, Mama didn’t know better. He lied and said he did, and we fell for it hook, line, and tequila.”

  Noah takes a deep breath. “So you were caught, I take it.”

  Everett nods. “And when push came to prison time, you flipped the script and pointed the finger at Rooster.”

  “That’s right, Sexy.” Carlotta gives someone over my shoulder the stink eye. “I told that jury that Rooster Puddin’ acted alone and that I saw him do it.”

  Charlie’s chest heaves. “And I said I saw him do it, too. It was him or us and Mama and I didn’t have much, but we had each other.”

  My heart breaks just hearing it.

  “Well, now you both have me, too,” I say as I pull them both in for a firm
embrace, and it does indeed feel as if we’re family.

  And we are.

  Noah

  The redemption regency ball is still ticking away inside without missing a beat.

  The music is moody, the people are plentiful, and there seems to be an abundance of joy in the conservatory despite the fact a very dark scene was had just outside these doors. I asked Ivy if she’d wrap up the paperwork for me, and she assumed it was because I wanted to dance with the mother of my child. That was the primary reason, but unfortunately, that wasn’t the only reason.

  Lottie stiffens as she searches the room. “I don’t see Everett.”

  “He said he wanted to talk to Manny since he was here. And he said he wouldn’t be more than a few minutes. He’ll be here soon, trust me on that one.”

  My hands glide over her waist.

  “You are prefect, Lottie Lemon. Do you know that?”

  “And you’re too kind, Noah Fox. And if you don’t mind, I would appreciate it greatly if you would shed a little of that kindness in getting Ethel back to me as soon as possible once forensics is through with her. She belongs at home with me.”

  “In your gun safe,” I say it like a reprimand without meaning to. “Sorry, I know you’re responsible. It’s just that I see everything through the lens of Lyla Nell now.”

  “Because you’re a good father.” She hikes up and lands a kiss to my cheek. “Happy early Father’s Day, Noah. I always suspected you’d make a great father one day, and now I get to see it play out in real time. And I’m lucky enough to be the child’s mother.” Her cheeks heat with color.

  “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you meant it.”

  She gives my tie a playful tug. “You know I do.”

  I take her in, looking like a dream, and I can’t help but smile. “Fair warning, I think I’m going to kiss you. Don’t be too angry if I miss your cheek.” A devious smile glides up my face as a laugh trembles through her. But before I can so much as lean in, I spot Everett at the door and striding up on either side of him are Jimmy Canelli and Luke Lazzari.

  “Looks like that kiss will have to wait. I’m afraid I’m needed elsewhere.”

  Everett always did have a spectacular way of interrupting things between Lot and me.

  I sneak a quick kiss to her lips.

  What the hell. If I’m going to die, I might as well die happy.

  Everett

  If Jimmy and Luke don’t kill Noah, I just might for brazenly kissing my wife on the lips.

  I don’t want to sound like a brute, but those lips don’t belong to Noah. They belong to my wife, who is the other half of me, so technically, they’re mine. And I’m not one iota in the mood to share what’s mine with him.

  Noah makes his way over, and the four of us head to the lobby, to a quiet area just shy of the reception desk.

  I shoot Noah a dark look that says wait for the beating. But for now we’re going to have to present a united front if we want to come away with our necks intact.

  “Judge Baxter.” Luke Lazzari tips his head back as he slices me ten different ways with those pale laser-sharp eyes of his.

  Jimmy Canelli’s chest expands as he looks at Noah. “Detective Fox, it’s been a while since I’ve been graced with your presence. I haven’t seen you at the club. I would have expected a little communication from you by now. Is this how you think we should conduct business going forward?”

  Noah glances my way.

  “That’s funny.” Luke looks as if he’s about to eviscerate me. And as it turns out, I’ve given him over one hundred thousand reasons to. “I haven’t heard too much from you, Judge Baxter, either.”

  “I’ve been busy.” I frown at Noah. “We both have.” I glare over at Noah in a manner that lets him know at no given time is he allowed to open his mouth. He’s dug enough graves for the two of us to last a lifetime. I’m not giving him another chance to take me down with him.

  Luke slaps me on the back. “I like what you’ve done.”

  I blink in his direction. I don’t bother with my next breath. I don’t want to miss a beat.

  Jimmy nods to Noah. “I knew you’d show some ingenuity and fancy footwork. I won’t lie, I was at the edge of my seat waiting to see how you were going to jump through the hoop without jumping through the hoop.”

  Luke ticks his head to the side. “Hate to break it to you, Jimmy, but the judge’s maneuver was a little more impressive. He took the funds out of the briefcase because he knew I had a tracking device on it.”

  Tracking device?

  Noah and I exchange a glance.

  It sounds as if the litmus test we were given by the mob had a litmus test buried beneath the surface.

  Wait a minute, did they steal these briefcases?

  Noah stares the two of them down as if he wants to start in on an interrogation before looking to me and I shake my head at him.

  Do not even think about opening your pie hole, buddy. I can be just as lethal as the mob if I have to, especially if my wife and family are on the line. And for some reason, Noah is the one that keeps putting them on the line. Same family for all practical purposes, so his need to destroy it makes very little sense.

  Carlotta and Mayor Nash race in this direction, giggling as if they’ve donned an entire bottle of champagne each.

  “Hey, boys!” Carlotta shouts to Jimmy and Luke as they pass us by. “Good work out there, Sexy. Who knew you were such a good shot? By the way, I may have forgotten to mention I let Rooster stay on your boat.”

  “Rooster?” Noah and I say in unison.

  “That’s right,” Carlotta calls out. “Turns out, he’s allergic to ghosts, and I’m allergic to him. And since he doesn’t have two nickels to his name, it was the only place I could think to put him. But great news! He just let me know he came into a little cash and will be staying at the Evergreen—got himself the honeymoon suite, too! Guess who’s taking the honeymoon with him?” She shoots a finger just past us and we follow that invisible bullet’s path until we see a familiar blonde in a black sequin gown wrapped around Rooster’s body like a vine.

  “Cormack.” I sigh at the sight.

  I guess money trumps Noah’s dimples for once. I bet Noah has never been more relieved to be living a hair above the poverty line.

  “So Rooster has the goods,” I say it like a statement, but both Noah and I know darn well it was a question.

  Jimmy scratches the side of his nose. “Don’t pretend like you’re holding the dumb end of the stick, Judge Baxter. We don’t like to be placated.”

  Luke’s shoulders flinch. “You pegged a real winner.” He shakes his head. “You found a real live one to fall into your trap. And in turn, he fell into our trap, too. Word on the street is Manny Moretti’s hot with one hundred G’s and a few kilos of cocaine. For your sake, I hope that’s true. We’re not interested in losing track of our loot, but the tracking device has been removed.” He nods. “But as soon as Jimmy and I started to figure things out, we knew we picked a couple of good men. Only real thinkers such as yourselves know how to keep your hands clean. There’s a lot of potential in our organizations for men like you.” He inspects me a moment. “Let me make this very clear. If Moretti Junior goes up the river, it’ll send a signal to the rest of his family. You have my protection. If he walks, I expect you to get your hands on the cash and clean it”—his eyes linger over mine a moment too long—“or no deal.”

  Jimmy points hard at Noah. “You know what you gotta do. Remember our deal? I give you tips on the bad guys and you make the arrests. That’s what the good citizens pay you for, isn’t it? Get on the horn and make the bust of a lifetime.” He holds up a finger. “But should the impossible happen and Moretti walks, we’re going to talk.” He winks over at Noah. “I always enjoy our little talks, Detective.”

  I think that handbasket just made its final descent into hell.

  Luke steps close and bores a deadly glance my way. “Two of my men are coming down your pike. I wa
nt community service and nothing more if they’re convicted. You’ll hear from me shortly. Don’t worry. Jimmy’s hit is off the table while I’m on the watch.”

  Jimmy shoots Noah with his finger. “You’re safe, too, copper. I want Manny Moretti arrested, and I want it done tonight. Now go nail the bad guys to a wall—or else.”

  Luke and Jimmy take off through the lobby and right out the door.

  “And the picture is a bit clearer now.” Noah rocks back on his heels, looking both angry and stunned.

  “Why do I feel like we’ve just been outplayed?”

  “Because we have. I guess I have an arrest to make—and a mob war to start. The exact mob war I was hoping had fizzled out.”

  “No such luck,” I say. “And I do believe we have no luck.” I shake my head. “So Rooster may have given the briefcases to Manny. I guess he knew he needed a partner to help funnel the funds and sell the bad stuff.”

  He nods. “And by the sound of it, he’s getting a take.” Noah slaps me on the back. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “You said you’d get us out of this mess, and for the most part you did. We’re still on the right side of the soil, so there’s something to be said for that.”

  “I’m not so sure I came through for you this time.”

  “You did. You left your briefcase out in full sight like a dunce, and when Lot tried to slip you a note in it, she discovered the money. Then she told Charlie, who, in turn, told her about my briefcase. Then Lot took the briefcases to teach us a lesson and landed them on the boat, where unbeknownst to her, Rooster had been making his nest. So you see, your weak attempt to cover your contraband led us all the way home.”

  “We might get to go home, but we’re not home free.”

  “Agree.” He pulls out his phone. “I’ve got a call to make.” He steps to the side as Lemon comes over and folds into my arms.

  “Tell me it’s over, and then tell me exactly what just happened,” she insists.

  “It’s over.” And then I tell her exactly what happened.

  But it’s not over. Manny may not have those briefcases. And God knows Rooster is a wild card that can’t be trusted.