by Kat T. Masen
Quickly, she stands then washes her hands as I pull up my pants.
“Well, there’s a first time for everything,” she says, sounding pretty confident.
I’m amused these young girls think giving head makes them powerful. Quite the opposite. I didn’t have to beg for it, darling. Fuck, I didn’t have to do anything.
She smiles one more time then exits the bathroom. I walk over to the sink, washing my hands and splashing my face with cold water. What was I thinking? It isn’t like this hasn’t happened before, but I’ve never allowed myself to think of Charlotte when I was with someone else.
I exit the bar without saying goodbye as I walk past and head back to my suite. I’m so fucked, I need to forget. Why can’t I forget? Making my way to the bathroom, I turn the shower onto scalding hot, desperate to wash away what happened downstairs.
I climb into bed, trying to shut down my mind, but I can’t. I grab my phone off the nightstand and succumb to what I have put off doing for the last nine years—I type her name into a search engine.
There are random photographs of other girls, but no one who looks like her. I scroll through, desperate to find anything. It must be around the sixth page where I find a small picture. I click on the thumbnail linked to a Yale class website. There’s a picture of Charlotte with a guy, Finn. I recognize him immediately. She’s smiling, she looks happy.
Were they together after I left?
I can feel the anger brewing again, but I know I have no right to feel this way.
Knowing I have made the situation even worse for myself, I switch off my phone. Why the fuck can’t I just let this go? There’s too much history between us, and I need her to know how much I regret my actions. At the time I acted like a timid little coward, and I should’ve followed my instincts. I should have followed my heart.
For nine years, I’ve buried what we had and drowned myself in my work.
Yes, it paid off, but is it worth it in the end?
***
“Lex, hold still, or I can’t get it in.”
Inside my hotel suite, my sister, Adriana, is fussing all over me. The bow tie she bought isn’t cooperating, and as usual, it’s the biggest emergency ever. My attempt to cancel was foiled by Adriana giving me a list of clients who will be attending and therefore dubbed the event as a huge business opportunity.
I loathe these damn events.
They are just a parade of people showing off who has the biggest checkbook. Fair enough, it’s for charity, but these leaches donate so their businesses will be all over the media. I’d have happily donated the money and not attend, but when you’re related to Adriana Edwards there’s no such luxury.
“Okay, done.” She stands back, admiring her work. “You scrub up well, big brother. Thanks to me.”
“If it weren’t for the suit, I’d have no hope in hell with the ladies.” I smirk, but quickly, my expression turns serious. “Listen, Adriana, there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
“Is it an apology for how you hurt my feelings and left the restaurant in a huff?”
“Uh, no… but I am sorry. Look… you know that wedding bullshit is too much for me.”
“Not to anger the beast again, what is it you want to talk to me about?”
I have been putting it off ever since it happened, but now is the time to bring it up. My head is still a mess, and only Adriana knows the whole story. If anyone can make me understand what the hell is going on it’s my sister, Charlotte’s former best friend.
“What is it?” she repeats, distracted as she fixes herself in the mirror. It’s a beautiful navy gown, Valentino, I remember her saying. Like I give a shit, but she still looks good in it.
“I saw Charlotte.”
She stops adjusting her dress, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror before she abruptly turns around. “Where and when?” Her voice is anxious. I know what Charlotte meant to Adriana. Their friendship was a big part of her life that I screwed up for her. Another person caught up in the shitstorm I had created.
“I had a lunch meeting the other day. She was there at the restaurant with a guy.” I clench on my words, desperately thinking of ways to get rid of him.
“Oh my God, Lex. Seriously? Out of all places, here? Did you speak to her?”
“Yes, I did,” I croak, still feeling the sting from her words. “She was angry. I wasn’t expecting her to be after all these years. I wanted a chance to explain, but she said not to bother, it was just a high school fling.”
“But, Lex, it wasn’t just a high school fling…” Adriana trails off, lowering her gaze. “So, you didn’t get a chance to explain to her what happened with Samantha and the baby?”
“No, I didn’t. She was quick to run off to her… fiancé.” I grit my teeth almost spitting out the words.
“Fiancé? How do you know?” I can hear the hope in her voice. Adriana, ever the optimist. “Maybe it was just a friend?”
“The huge ring on her finger was a dead giveaway. I asked, and she angrily answered that he was her fiancé.”
“Lex, why did you do that?” Adriana raises her hands in frustration. “You know if she’s anything like me, you probably pushed her closer to him.”
“Oh gee, thanks, sis. What a wonderful thought to have in my head.”
Pacing the area in front of us, I rub my hands over my face, regretting my actions once again. Did I really do that? Push her further toward him? They’re engaged for Christ’s sake! How much further can I push her? Fuck, this spiral of thoughts is making it all worse. I sit on the couch, bowing my head as I run my fingers through my hair.
“How did she look?”
Staring at the carpet, I try to calm down. My gaze moves upward until my eyes meet Adriana’s. “Beautiful.”
Our conversation is interrupted as Elijah, Adriana’s fiancé, walks in the room followed by an attractive blonde woman.
“Brooke, please meet my brother-in-law, Lex,” he introduces, forcing me to stand. “Lex, this is Brooke.”
She’s beautiful, short blonde hair, blue eyes—I’m not interested.
There’s only one woman I want now, but I act like the gentleman my mother raised me to be.
Leaning in, I kiss Brooke’s cheek with a welcoming smile. After a quick chat, it’s time to head out. I linger behind her as my sister quickly pulls me aside.
“Lex, I know you’re hurting. I promise we’ll talk more about this later,” Adriana whispers, patting my shoulder as we leave the room.
Hurt?
Is that what this is?
First, after I saw her, I wanted to apologize more than anything. Second, I wanted to fuck the living daylights out of her, feel myself inside her just like I had a million times in my head.
But now, I’m torn as my emotions wreak havoc within me.
I don’t know what to do, but for tonight, I’ll do what I do best—act like the arrogant CEO I’m known for. Better than a sad, pathetic loser pining for his ex.
CHARLIE
We arrive at the ball at six on the dot.
The street is crowded, lined with limousines and luxury vehicles worth more than my apartment. Flashes are going off right, left, and center. The paparazzi are scurrying around like rats up a drainpipe snapping away at those who pose on the red carpet.
As we walk through the large doors, we’re blown away by the sight of it all. The grand ballroom is enormous. Its size big enough to hold all of the elite in New York City and then some.
The tall ceilings are covered in rows of draped sheer organza fabric, creating a medieval feel with a modern twist. A large chandelier hangs from the middle, its crystals reflecting the light which shimmers on the dance floor. Scattered across the room are artificial trees with the branches draped in fairy lights.
There’s a band wearing black and white tuxedos, perfectly positioned on the stage playing soft swing music, their hums and beats drowning in the noise of the growing crowd.
More and more people enter the room,
their gowns becoming more exquisite as they strut into the area. I’m in heaven. One after another, I can name the designer in my head. I know Eric is doing it as well, his mannerisms are mirroring mine.
I spot the head organizer of the charity ball, Mrs. Clyde, almost immediately. She reminds me of Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Only in her appearance, mind you, as she’s the sweetest lady you could possibly meet. Her generosity never ceases to amaze me, and all this is because of her.
“Oh-em-gee, you guys, this is amazeballs,” Eric murmurs in awe.
With his phone in hand, he takes a few pictures then busily begins typing away.
“What are you doing?”
“Just taking a pic of the ballroom. There’s a hash-tag charity ball trending.”
I grab the phone off him, placing it in my purse. Eric needs to enjoy the night without being glued to his phone. I can see the withdrawals already, his left eye twitching with a pouty immature look.
“Oh, c’mon, Charlie,” he whines.
“Uh-uh. I’m confiscating this from you tonight. You asked Emma out on a date, albeit fake, and you need to show her a good time.”
Emma laughs, looking gorgeous in a red gown Eric chose for her. Her platinum blonde hair is styled in an up-tight bun, showcasing a stunning diamond necklace draped around her neck.
Eric will only last five minutes before hijacking my purse as Emma kindly points out, and I agree. His sulking is short-lived, immediately snapping out of his childish tantrum as a hot young waiter stands in front of us offering champagne.
We take in the amazing view before we’re ushered to our table by a different waiter. We sit ourselves down as Julian places his arm around my chair, drawing me in closer. He smells fantastic.
“You look amazing tonight,” he whispers in my ear.
“Not so bad yourself, Batman. Are you going to abandon me tonight with some emergency that needs to be taken care of on the roof?”
“Unless it’s you up there naked, no chance in hell, gorgeous,” he teases, leaving a kiss on the side of my neck.
My body is shivering in delight, my mind wondering how I can get on the roof. Is there some secret exit? Damn, he looks fine in his tux. Tim Gunn knew his stuff.
Mrs. Clyde takes to the podium to begin her speech as the room starts to quieten down. She speaks about the cause and what we, as a society, can do to help the kids live a better life. We applaud her, then everyone gets up to start mingling as the music continues playing.
People are lost in diverse conversations. Occasionally, I’ll smile and nod, but my head feels like it’s buried in a cloud of fog. Two days and it is just getting worse, now I am questioning my sanity. Did that really happen? Did I run into Alexander Edwards after nine years? Or was it just a figment of my imagination? I’ve barely slept, running on an empty fuel tank which doesn’t mix well with champagne.
Taking a deep breath, I remember my promise to myself to have fun. Forget the past, enjoy the night with my fiancé. This event is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity and shouldn’t be wasted on something I can’t control.
I’m standing with Julian, talking to Mrs. Bennett, who’s one of the committee members. Julian has his arm around my waist, talking passionately about a story he covered in a Hungarian orphanage. I can’t stop watching him as he speaks, his face showing compassion, a truly amazing man. Batman has nothing on him. He’s everything I want in a man, and I deserve someone like this.
Breaking me from my daydream, Eric and Emma come up behind me with champagne in hand.
“Charlie, have you seen the eye candy around here?” Emma says, scanning the area around us. “Lucky day to be single.”
Rocky and Nikki join us, arguing as usual. They turned up late, and after a quick hello all round, I question why both of them look annoyed. Rocky probably left the toilet seat up or something stupid like that.
“Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, what’s wrong now?”
“You remember that girl I dated in college when Nikki and I broke up that first semester?” Rocky speaks cautiously as Nikki stands there, arms crossed, tapping her foot.
“What do you mean, dated? You screwed her once behind the bleachers after you won that game against Princeton,” I point out, chuckling.
“Thank you,” Nikki blurts out.
Sometimes my memory is too clear. This time it works for me but usually it’s against me.
“Oh, well, gee, I thought we dated. Anyway, she’s here, and Miss Drama Queen over here has a problem with it.” He rolls his eyes, frustrated at his wife.
Nikki ignores him, jealously looking extra special on her tonight as she wears a glamorous gold Versace gown.
“Aww, is Mrs. Romano jealous?” I mock, my expression changing from sympathy to utter annoyance. “Please, Nikki, you’re one hot piece of ass. You can run circles around these chicks. Plus, you’ll be the one tapping it tonight, not her.”
“Thank you!” Rocky rejoices.
The corner of Nikki’s mouth turns upward into a smile, prompting Rocky to lean in and whisper in her ear. She turns to face him, locking lips as his hands wander to her butt, grabbing it porno-style.
“Seriously, get a room. Or a bathroom cubicle. Or something.”
The moment I say it, they quickly walk off toward the exit. I wonder how she’ll get that dress off? Mental note to ask her later.
I can hear Emma and Eric whispering the words ‘big hands’ and ‘I wouldn’t kick him out of bed’ but they are quite audible. I start to laugh. Eric always keeps things entertaining. I’m so grateful to be surrounded by amazing friends and a very handsome fiancé who I plan to tie up Cat-Woman-style later tonight at his apartment.
“Ten o’clock, Charlie. Oh damn, he’s the shiz. Wow. Oh, crap, he saw me.” Eric drops his eyes toward his shoes, pretending to be talking about something else.
“Ten oh what, Eric?” I ask, confused.
Eric nods his head toward the left.
I look, hoping to get a glimpse of this so-called ten o’clock candy. My head takes a moment to catch up with what my eyes see.
Green emerald candy which belongs to the one and only Alexander Edwards.
My mouth falls open, eyes widening, unable to turn away. Like a bad car crash, only it’s the opposite, the most beautiful sight you could possibly imagine walking toward me.
Oh shit, he’s walking toward me.
With a sudden urge to run, escape, and hide, the realization of his presence cripples my ability to do anything besides standing there, frozen in place. There’s no way out of this.
“Charlotte, what a nice surprise to see you, again,” he greets, politely.
My legs are threatening to cave. Alex is dressed in a black tuxedo with a bow tie, and I’m trying to ignore everything about him, but he looks so perfect. His accent is unfamiliar yet equally as mesmerizing, and it matches the handsome man standing before me.
But this man, in all his perfect glory, is nothing but a stranger.
His eyes are shining bright emerald, his face lighting up with a smile flashing his perfectly straight white teeth. I try to think of something witty to say, hoping someone will rescue me. Eric and Emma remain quiet, their mouths wide open like fly-catchers in shock. These two are pathetic.
Julian stops talking to Mrs. Bennett, switching his attention to me, then Alex.
Fuck, okay. Get your shit together. This can go really bad. Or, if you play nice, go away real fast.
“Alex, this is Eric, my assistant, Emma, one of my colleagues, and Julian, my fiancé,” I rush, trying to push aside my nerves.
Why is he so calm and collected? I appear to be the only one panicked by this situation.
Julian extends his hand. “Lex Edwards, CEO of the Lexed Group?”
Lex? Why is he calling him Lex Edwards? How the hell does Julian know him? Tilting my head to the side, curiosity overshadows my anxiety.
“Yes, the last time I checked,” Alex answers, surprisingly shaking Julian’s hand.
> “How do you and Charlie know each other?” Julian questions, taking his hand off my waist to hold my hand.
I can hear Eric’s voice in my head, hoping this is where they both slap their dicks out and start to measure them. Dirty bastard, and as the rascally grin forms on Eric’s smug face, so I know I’m dead right.
Alex stares at Julian, his face showing no emotion. Maybe I’m wrong about him. Just maybe he has matured and moved past what happened. Moved past us. What if he’s a happily married man with a family? Don’t get ahead of yourself, and where on earth did that pang of jealousy come from?
“We’ve known each other for what… fifteen years? Since we were kids. We dated in high school,” he answers with a cocky grin, knowing exactly what he’s doing.
Alex is signing the contract for the pissing contest that’s just about to start. Of course, he had to add that last bit. I’m not sure I’d call it dating, but more like fucking around behind his wife’s back. So, I take back what I said about him maturing. Just like old times Alex, except this time I’m not going to be the sad girl on the side. I’m a woman now, and no man treats me any less than what I deserve.
Now the nerves are overtaken by anger. If we weren’t in public, I’d have probably punched that beautiful face of his for talking to me like an arrogant bastard. Like the past was nothing. Like he didn’t leave me in the worst pain imaginable.
“I’ve written a couple of pieces on Lexed. You may have read the one published in the Wall Street Journal last year?” Julian speaks highly of his work, but what catches my attention is the fact that Alex is CEO of the Lexed Group.
Of course, I have heard of the company, I mean, who hasn’t? But I had no idea Alex had anything to do with it. What didn’t make sense is that he’s no longer in the medical field. My curiosity is getting the better of me. I want to know more, but I don’t want to have a conversation with him or even give him the satisfaction of thinking I’m interested.