Waiting on Life

by Parker Williams

  “Hey, Tammy.”

  She gave Cary a big smile. “How was your trip? I want to hear all about it.” She nodded in the direction of the back bar. “Somewhere over there.” She grabbed Cary’s hand and pulled him behind her to a couple of seats in the corner.

  I, meanwhile, think I swallowed my tongue, because I couldn’t make out a coherent sentence to save my life as Kyle came to where I was standing.

  “Toby.”

  Even his voice vibrated through me. It was husky, smoldering, and sexy. I wanted to reach beneath the counter and grab a book out for him to read to me. Yeah, I was so gone on Kyle, it wasn’t even funny.

  “Not talking?” He grinned. “Cat got your tongue?”

  “No, not a cat. You look… wow doesn’t even start to cover it.”

  He shook his head, and two tiny bells on the earrings gave out a soft tinkle. “Do you like? Tammy took me shopping.”

  “I love it. You’re stunning.”

  His cheeks pinked, and a soft smile crossed his lips. “I like your sister. I wish I had one just like her.”

  “She is one of a kind.” I grinned at him. “Did you want some juice?”

  “If you don’t mind.”

  Oh, I didn’t. I opened the refrigerator, pulled out the bottle we kept stocked, and poured him a glass. He sat down, then reached for the juice and took the first few sips. His neck was long, lean, and sensual, and I watched, captivated, as he tilted his head back to drain the drink. When he put it back down, there was a shine on the rim where his lips had been.

  “Lip gloss?” I asked, having trouble catching my breath.

  He nodded. “Root beer.” He licked his lips in a slow, deliberate way. “It’s really tasty.”

  I knew what he was doing, and I didn’t blame him. He was testing me, trying to see if I was going to keep my word that I wasn’t going to hide that we were seeing each other. After what happened to him, I probably would have done the same thing.

  I reached out and grabbed the turquoise blue shirt and tugged him closer.

  “Toby, what are you—?”

  I pressed our lips together, cutting off anything else he was about to say. The few people in the bar paid us no mind as Kyle whimpered and opened for me. I swept my tongue inside his mouth, and the two of us dueled for a bit. It was heady as hell, and I doubted I’d ever get enough of it.

  When I let go of him, he flopped back in the seat, his eyes wide. “Wow.”

  Yeah, that pretty much summed it up for me too. “You were right.”

  He cocked his head. “About what?”

  “It was root beer.” I winked at him. “Does that prove I’m not going to hide you away like I’m ashamed of you?”

  He gave a nod.

  “And I’m willing to bet Tammy told you that you didn’t need to do all this, right?” He’d dressed the part of a flamboyant man, then teased me because he worried that I was going to be like that other asshole who’d treated him so shabby.

  Kyle dipped his chin. “No.” He peered back up at me, and I could see the need in his eyes. “She said I had to trust you, and I want to, but….”

  Once bitten, twice shy. I understood the problem. “I’m not sorry you did it.”

  He fluttered his eyes a bit. “You’re not?”

  “Not in the slightest. I want you to trust me, so I have to show you that I can be trusted. I’m not him or any of the other guys you’ve been with, and you know it, but you have expectations of me that need to be met. I’m always going to do my best to meet or exceed them.”

  “But I shouldn’t have…. I’m sorry.”

  I waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t be. Seriously. It’s all good.” I gave him a leering glare. “Just like what I’m looking at.”

  “So you like it better when I dress like this?” he asked, then nibbled his lip.

  I could see his mind working. Kyle was so transparent, it was painful.

  “How bad did he hurt you?”

  That seemed to pull him out of his haze. “Bad enough. The physical wounds weren’t as bad as the emotional ones. I thought I loved him, and I honestly thought he cared for me. To find out how wrong I was gutted me.”

  “Yeah, you deserve way better. And for the record, I like you, Kyle. Not dolled-up Kyle, not Kyle who is dressed to relax, not the Kyle who was all sleep-rumpled… well, okay, I did find that one particularly cute. But I like the whole you, no matter how fabulous you’re being. If you like dressing up, do it. There’s nothing you can wear that’s going to make me freak out.”

  “How can you be real?”

  “Good upbringing,” I answered. “Speaking of which, you’re going to have to meet my parents at some point.”

  He snorted. “And you’ll have to meet my mom. Let me tell you, she’s not going to go easy on you.”

  “She doesn’t need to. And you can let her know that she’s not going to scare me off. Nothing will do that.”

  His eyes widened slightly and his breathing hitched. I think I shocked him.

  Hopefully it would be the first of many.

  Kyle

  “So? What did he say about the outfit?”

  “You were right,” I complained. “He liked what I was wearing now, what I was wearing before, and apparently he’ll like what I’m wearing in the future.”

  Tammy could be smug about this. She could tell me she was right and I was wrong, but she didn’t. I appreciated that.

  “Toby will be a source of constant amazement for you. This is why I told you the other people he’s dated broke up with him. He gets it in his heart and that’s it for him. At least until they dump him—then we have to pick up the pieces.”

  “Your whole family sounds incredible,” I said, and I wasn’t kidding.

  “No, my family is stubborn and opinionated. We don’t take bullshit from anyone, and we never, and I mean never, let people give it to the ones we care about. When you meet my Mel, you’ll understand. She’s the most precious thing in my life, and woe to those who hurt her in any way. If I can’t do something about it, Toby will. If he can’t, my parents will step in. I’m going to be honest, you might feel like you’re being smothered by us, because we love hard and strong. Not everyone can be ready for that.”

  “What do you mean?”

  She smiled. “When you meet Mel, you’ll understand.”

  “Mel? Your girlfriend?”

  She held up a hand, showing off the silver band she wore. “My wife.” Tammy let slip a soft side, and her eyes grew glassy. “She’s the most perfect thing in my world. I will move heaven and earth to make her happy. I hate to let her out of my sight. I know I’m overbearing, but she accepts that from me. You’d need to do the same from Toby. He won’t hurt you, of course, but he will want to be with you constantly. If you stay with him, you’ll get blended into his world, and he’ll need to keep you safe and happy.”

  That didn’t sound so bad. In fact, it sounded pretty damn good. “I think I can handle that.”

  My whole life I’d wanted someone to love me for who I was. If they weren’t trying to change me, they were making snide little comments about my perceived imperfections. With Toby telling me to dress how I wanted, even if I was wearing women’s clothing, it meant a lot to me. I didn’t do it often, but once in a while I liked to slip into some lace panties because they made me feel pretty.

  We got back to the apartment, and I asked Tammy if she wanted to come up.

  “Nah, I gotta go. Mel’s been working all day, and she’s going to be home soon. I want to get there and give her a foot rub so she can sleep.”

  A foot rub? Shit, if Toby would do that, I’d… God, I don’t even know what I’d be willing to do for a foot massage.

  “Thank you for lunch. Next time I’ll buy.”

  She wrinkled her nose at me. “Honey, I make way more money than you do. I’ll buy.”

  “Oh? What do you do?”

  “Interior design for the high-class types. My jobs are booked months in advance,
and I have a waiting list a mile long.”

  “Are you going to be doing the farmhouse if Toby ever gets it?”

  Her gaze narrowed. “He’s a stubborn bastard,” she growled.

  “I think we covered that. You both are, if I recall correctly.”

  She looked out the driver’s side window and sighed. “I’ll admit, he’s got me beat in this case. Mel and I offered to buy him the damn house, but he wouldn’t hear of it. We offered to cosign a loan so he could get it now. Still a no.”

  “A dream is only realized when you can do it on your own.”

  A quick turn of her head and she speared me with a sharp stare. “Yeah, but he could start living that dream now. Why wait?” Her shoulders slumped. “I’m gonna be honest. He’ll never get that house.”

  That seemed harsh. “What? Why?”

  “He doesn’t make enough money. Even saving up, it’ll take years just to make a down payment. He’s a hard worker, but the bar doesn’t pay him what he’ll need to get the house he dreams of.”

  “Oh.” That saddened me. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. If he wasn’t such a jackass….”

  She didn’t have to say anymore. I understood wanting to have your dream come true, but not banging your head against a wall trying to make it happen. Still, it was Toby’s dream, and you’d think that he’d be a little more open-minded about getting the farm.

  “Then there’s the problem with making money for taxes and utilities. I love my brother, but he doesn’t see the big picture.”

  She turned back and put a hand on my arm.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t air family stuff like this. It’s just… his whole life, Toby has gone out of his way to make other people happy. He’s always—and I mean, always—put his needs second. Just once I wanted him to think of himself, his dreams, and his happiness.” She gave a wan smile. “But maybe you and he will hit it off and make each other happy.”

  That was a good dream in and of itself. I hoped we could make it come true.

  Chapter Twelve

  Toby

  For the next few mornings, Kyle brought breakfast over for both of us and we sat together, enjoying the food, but also the company. Waldo perched on the back of the couch, and as soon as Kyle put his fork down, Waldo was there, wanting cuddles. How insane was it that I was jealous of my cat, who now lay in Kyle’s arms, being cradled to his chest?

  “Your doctor’s appointment is today?” I asked, pleased with how his eye looked. There was a bit of bruising, but not nearly as bad as it had been.

  He nodded. “He’ll give me a clean bill of health, I’m sure. I can come in after the appointment and work the rest of the night. You could take off and get done all the things you haven’t.”

  And that list was growing exponentially. Laundry would now take five trips, and I had the sneaking suspicion that someone added clothes to my pile, because I’m pretty sure I don’t even own that many garments. And Kyle was being generous in feeding me, because I was still working way too many hours to get to the store on a regular basis. Even having Cary back had only relieved the pressure mildly.

  “Yes to coming in, if he clears you. No, I won’t be going home. I’ve got way too much paperwork and stuff to catch up on.”

  Kyle frowned. “So take tomorrow off, then.”

  I shook my head. “Can’t. Got a big order coming in, and I need to be there to—”

  “To what?” he growled. “Burn yourself out? You have people—me—who can handle putting stock away. Cary can sign for anything that is delivered. Why do you need to be there?”

  There was logic to his question, but the bar was my responsibility. “Just do,” I said casually.

  “Just don’t. Or don’t you trust us to take care of the bar when you’re not there?”

  “Of course I do, but—”

  “You just don’t trust us. I get it.”

  There was an ache in his voice that tugged at my heart. I did trust them. I mean, would I have hired them if I didn’t?

  Then prove it. How hard can it be?

  I sighed in resignation. “Fine. I’ll take tomorrow off. If you need me, you have my phone number.”

  “You’ll take tonight and tomorrow off. Two whole Toby days.”

  That was going too far. “Kyle, I can’t just—”

  “Two days. If the doctor doesn’t clear me, you can come in to cover, but I promise he will.” He batted his eyes, and I was lost. “Two days off. Please?”

  I drummed my fingers on the table, wondering how he’d already had me wrapped around his little finger. “Fine. I won’t go in tonight.”

  “Good,” he said, his voice bright.

  “But! I want you to call me to prove he cleared you. No clearance, no working.”

  “I’ll take a picture and send it on my phone.”

  My head must be all over the place, because the next thing I knew, my mind was going to Kyle sending a naked picture of himself holding the paperwork.

  “That’ll be fine,” I choked out.

  “Speaking of, I’d better get going.” He stood and picked up the dishes. “I’ll talk to you later. Enjoy the day off.”

  Then he did the oddest thing. He came to where I was standing, stood on tiptoes, and brushed a kiss over my lips. It was so natural, like we were a couple, and for a moment, I relished it so much. It wasn’t enough for me, though. I leaned down a bit and pressed my lips to his, suppressing a grin when he sighed and let me hold him up. When I broke the kiss, he stood there, his eyes closed and a soft grin on his face.

  “I’m never going to get tired of that,” he said.

  “Good, because I doubt I could ever get tired of doing it.”

  And it was true. Tammy was right when she said that I didn’t fall easily, but I had fallen for Kyle, and I never wanted to stop. He was sweet and funny and sincere. He put me at ease in a way no one before him had. Once I’d stopped obsessing over the fact that he was a guy and just let myself be in the moment, the panic ebbed away.

  An image flashed into my head. Me coming into the house and finding Kyle in the kitchen, an apron that he found online that tickled him so much that he had to have it tied around his waist. He was making some vegan thing, and it smelled delicious. He glanced over and gave me a smile that sent my heart into the stratosphere.

  Would Kyle ever share my dream? Was he too much of a city boy to leave it and spend life in the quiet of the country? It was too early in our relationship to think that far out, but if Kyle was going to be with me—or if I was going to be with him—then we had to find out if our dreams matched or figure out a way forward, because it would hurt like hell to fall so hard for him, only to have to walk away.

  Then don’t walk away. Stay with him.

  The thought of staying in the city, with the crushing number of people, gave me pause. I hated it here. Hated there was no room to stretch, to breathe. I wanted a tract of land of my own, with the closest neighbors being a fair distance away, not close enough that they could hear when you farted. And sure, maybe it was a pipe dream. But it was mine, free and clear.

  Then what about Kyle?

  That was the sticking point for me. I was used to being alone. The few long-term relationships I had always died with a whimper, and though it hurt, I’d walked off to lick my wounds and gotten better for it. This thing with Kyle? I had a feeling that this one would hurt more than any of the rest, because he had wormed his way into my heart already.

  And I wanted him to stay there.

  “Did you want a ride? I can drop you off at your appointment, then pick you up on the way back. And if the doctor okays it, I’ll take you to the bar.”

  “Oh? What are you going to be doing?”

  “I need to hit the laundromat, because there are way too many clothes to do in the small machines downstairs.”

  He cracked a smile. “You’re not going to come into the bar, right?”

  I held up a hand. “I swear, I will not step foot in the bar un
less someone calls me.”

  “Then, yes, I’d love a ride.” He nodded to the plates. “Let me put these down, and I’ll be ready. Say, ten minutes?”

  “Sure, that sounds great. It’ll give me time to hunt down Waldo.”

  Kyle grinned. “Oh, that’s easy.” He pursed his lips and whistled. I was about to tell him that would never work, when a moment later, Waldo popped his head around the corner, then sauntered over to Kyle. He bent and scooped Waldo into his arms, then handed him to me, a shit-eating grin on his face. “One kitty.”

  I gawped as he turned and strode out of the apartment, his head held high and a snicker trailing behind him.

  I really needed to keep Kyle in my life. To keep track of Waldo, if nothing else.

  Kyle

  The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was rinse the plates, then place them in the dishwasher. I was flush with what I’d done. I had actually kissed Toby, and he kissed me back. No, it was more than that. He claimed my mouth. Other guys try to maul your mouth or don’t have a clue what they were doing. Toby was confident, sure of himself. That was fucking hot.

  “How was breakfast?”

  I spun to find Pete behind me, his arms crossed over his bare chest. “It was great.” I sighed. “I really like him, you know?”

  “Believe me, I’d have to be blind to not notice.”

  There was a tone in his voice. “What’s wrong?”

  “What are you doing with Toby? I mean, is this a hit it and run? Or are you going to stay until you get bored with him? Or maybe you see yourself having a future with him.”

  I’d been asking myself the same thing. He wasn’t a hit-and-run kinda guy. If he was, I’d have been in his pants already and moved on. Been there, blew that. I couldn’t see myself getting bored with Toby. The smallest things made me smile. So I guess there was only one other option.

  “I’d like to think I have a future with him.” I frowned. “Is that stupid?”